To Have Loved Him

Chapter 10

By: 12stoneswithin

Summary: You never quite know what life has in store for you but sometimes it's better not knowing.

What Happened Last Time-

Tashio Beast Pov

My mate, I'm coming. I promise just hold on. I wish for nothing more than my legs to move even just a small amount faster. Something is gravely wrong. I can barely feel her anymore.

Present

Tashio Pov

I felt my muscles and lungs begin to burn as I rushed toward my mate. Her essence was fading quickly. Just moments ago she had been perfectly well. I felt the walls cracking and falling around me as I ran through them trying to find her. It was proving difficult to pinpoint her as her scent had begun fading and her soul itself was sending off the tiniest of tremors. Every room I barged through hoping to see her beautiful face left my beast trying to take control when we didn't see her. I began to truly panic as tears fell from my eyes slowly, forenly. My beast broke through and took control rushing in the opposite direction.

Sess Pov

My gaze hadn't left my mate since I'd sent for someone to retrieve my father. Watching the slight rise and fall off her chest gave me a small comfort along with an ever growing sense of panic. Her heart beat had slowed and her soul's distress signals were becoming fainter by the minute.

For the first time in my life I felt truly helpless. I could feel her fighting for life, her aura flaring slightly every so often only to fade slowly once again. I felt weak and useless standing by as she suffered.

Give mate some of our strength, my beast whined in my head. Before I knew it I found myself kneeling next to her holding her small hand to my lips and forced what power I had slowly into her. Her breathing and heartbeat improved as I felt my body slowly begin to sag with relief and exhaustion. I could vaguely feel my father getting closer as my eyes closed and my world went black.

Kag Pov

I kept trying to ask my mate for help through our bond but it felt as though something wasn't quite right. As time wore on it was becoming harder to try to communicate through the pain. The air in my lungs was slowly depleting and increasingly hard to replenish, setting my chest aflame. As the pain began to consume and overwhelm me I felt a slight pressure on my hand and a sudden burst of energy entered my body giving me a new found strength. I still felt the pain but I was more willing to fight it now. The void no longer felt so consuming nor the pain as daunting. Within moments I felt a new wave of energy consume me with an all consuming pressure. With its coming I felt at peace as I stopped trying to fight the pain and gave into the foreboding darkness that lay before me.

Toga Pov

Seeing her small frame barely holding on brought tears to my eyes and a strong sense of guilt. She would have been fine had I simply stayed with them but I chose to leave. No matter the reason this was still my fault. Wrapping my arms around her I could feel her sigh in relief as she curled into me. Looking down at her I saw Sesshomaru curled in her lap like a pup. Seeing them together made me yearn for my Izayoi and yet as I looked into Kagome's face I felt as though doing so was a silent betrayal. She was my mate and yet I still wanted my old love that was long gone. While looking at her I could see the changes taking place. Her once tan skin became almost golden in hue, her hair grew longer and took on a hint of blue and silver, markings similar to Sesshomaru and I's formed on her delicate face, her nails grew in an angular fashion forming claws, and her body became slightly taller and leaner; however, neither affected her curves. Watching her change brought me a sense of relief and dread but as I gazed at her I couldn't help but relax and drift into a conflicted unrestful sleep.

Kag Pov

I was floating in and out. Every time I thought I was close to the surface I was pulled back down. This continued to happen countless times as I kept trying to get back to my mate but suddenly it felt like a dam broke and I was able to feel my body again. When I opened my eyes I immediately closed them due to the harsh sunlight coming in through the window. I slowly tried to lift my arm and found that both of them were glued to my sides. I tried one more time and stopped when I felt an unfamiliar hand hold my own in place. I was terrified and opened my eyes to see who it was and couldn't help a scream when I spotted who held me. " Who the hell are you?" I tried to get away but he held me in place with a sad expression but I was too terrified to care, "Sesshomaru!" I yelled for my mate like my life depended on it. I didn't know that youki there was a good chance he wanted to eat me or worse. However, he never got the chance because I was soon pulled from his arms and I heard my mates murderous growl behind me. Then suddenly it stopped and he loosened his hold on me, his hand slowly guiding my face up to look at him.

"My love, don't fear him" he continued to hold my face in his palm and gently caressed my cheek, "He is your second mate and helped you complete your change safely. Without him I would have lost you." I looked at him and couldn't help the confused look that crossed my face before he pulled me into his chest for a big hug. I felt so overwhelmed that I wanted to cry but I didn't want either of them to see me be weak or vulnerable. As Sesshomaru held me I felt confused. The man from before wasn't someone I could remember meeting before. He looked similar to Sesshomaru and Inuyasha but I knew their father had passed and neither had ever mentioned any other family.

"What do you mean second mate?" I felt my confusion start to turn to anger, "and why would you let someone I don't know hold me like that?" I pushed him away and walked to the edge of the room. When neither felt the need to give me an answer I couldn't help but yell one more time," Just tell me what's going on Sesshomaru you're supposed to be my mate!" I turned to the other man equally annoyed,"If you are who he says you are tell me what happened, please!" I crossed my arms over my chest to try and hide how I was feeling as I stared them down.

Toga Pov

I was still recovering from her cursing at me and yelling for Sesshomaru to come. I almost missed the way she was trembling. I hadn't meant to scare her but looking at her now I felt like I was failing. Sesshomaru held her trying to reassure her but I could also see the way his face held uncertainty. They sat like this for a long time and suddenly I felt her anger like a snapping fire fill the room but when she looked at me and pleaded for me to explain with a death stare on her face it broke me. The way her arms wrapped around her chest felt like she was protecting herself. I tried to look away so that maybe she would just leave but when I tried to I saw the way her bottom lip trembled and her eyes had begun to water and I couldn't,

"I apologize for scaring you. " I ran my fingers through my hair to try and keep my face neutral," I came here yesterday in search of my mate but I found you in wake of her." I felt something was wrong when her face went void. " I was brought back by Kami to be your mate alongside my son; however, we didn't know that meant I would need to be with you during the change. He almost lost you last night, I came to your aid to prevent my son losing his mate." I looked towards my son and saw his jaw tighten as he looked over at me as if he wanted me dead.

"Thank you." I looked at my mate quickly and could see her nails digging into her arms as she looked at me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes." If you'll please excuse me" her eyes looked away from mine and to Sesshomaru's as she left us and I couldn't help but feel empty.

Sesshomaru Pov

I wish for nothing more than to murder him. He dared to speak to my mate as if she were nothing. I saw the way she bit her lip to keep from crying and how she swallowed hard to tell him thank you and smile. Yet he watched her leave without offering anything but a nod before glancing away. "Do or say anything like that to her again and I'll kill you." I looked at him from the corner of my eye as I let venom drip from my fingertips to land on the floor, quickly eating it away." You are my father but she is my mate and will be treated as such any disrespect to her is disrespect to me and will be dealt with accordingly." That said I turned to leave and find and reassure my mate.

"I don't wish to love anyone but Izyoui. Although that woman is beautiful she will never be her and I will not pretend to do so to pacify you. Nor will I give her false hope that she is someone I want." with that he left as if what he had said and done was correct. He doesn't desire mate, go find mate. Show her we want her.