Chapter 1: A Tumultuous Night...

On a dark January night, the air turned cold, as a brewing storm encircled the hill on which sat the Addams family abode — a haunting, gothic mansion one could be forgiven for thinking summoned the impending weather by its sheer ghoulish disposition.

Inside, a jittery Joel Glicker peered out of a crack in the door, observing Fester Addams dancing away down the murky hallway.

"Joel," a young, female voice whispered forcefully.

He shut the door slowly and turned to his companion.

Wednesday Addams sat expectantly on a dark, shabby duvet on her bed, her broody, brown eyes radiating as lightning broke the sky outside.

"They don't even know we're home yet," she continued, "nobody's gonna walk in on us."

"I hope not," he said nervously, "or I might be tasting that roast beef again…"

His New York Jewish accent still tickled her.

She rolled her eyes. "Just come over here…" she gazed invitingly.

He sat down next to her and brushed his fingers over her cheek, attempting to reciprocate her demeanor.

She leaned in and kissed him on the nose.

He smiled, letting his guard down. They began making out.

She fumbled her hands up to his glasses and removed them, tossing them on the bed.

"Hey, Wen—" he attempted to say between kisses, "I don't think— that I can make your 17th next week—"

She pulled away and glared at him. "What?…"

He reached for his glasses and put them back on.

"There's no way my ma's gonna let me skip uncle Noah's funeral," he pleaded.

"Oh," she turned and looked out the window, "sure…"

"Let me make it up to you though," he continued, "we can spend the whole day together Saturday, take a tour of the city morgue, we'll bring a picnic to the cemetery—"

She turned back to him, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Okay… alright, sure…" she said, giving him a coy look.

"It'll be like your early birthday," he promised, "and I know you're gonna love the gift I got you."

"Joel," she silently laughed, "no offense, but you're 0 for 3 so far…"

"Hey, c'mon! You liked what I got you last year!" he jested.

"The fireworks didn't even work…" she giggled.

"Ah, pish posh," he waved, "if they had worked you woulda gotten a kick out of it."

"Maybe," she looked down, smiling.

He reached for her hands. "Hey, remember when we met?… Camp Chippewa…"

Wednesday thought back to the thrilling finale of their stay in which they had burned the entire camp to the ground.

"Yeah…" she smirked, "you know, that was the last time I ever saw you with your shirt off." She traced a finger down his chest.

"Oh," he said. The comment was unexpected. "I guess that's true."

She looked at him and bit her lip, in exaggerated fashion.

"Oh," he said, "you wanna—"

"C'mon," she beckoned, "haven't we waited long enough?"

"I… I mean," he began, "…c'mon, can't we just make out some more?"

"Joel," she pushed gently on his chest, "are you not attracted to me?" she asked stonily.

"I am, of course I am," he said nervously.

"But… you just— you don't want—?" she pressed, doubt creeping into her voice.

"I— no, I'm sorry, I'm being silly, of course I want to," he reassured her.

He wriggled out of his T-shirt as quickly as he could. "Huh?" he beamed.

She sat looking wistful, but managed a smile.

He twirled one of her braids with his finger. "Hey, I know I'm not very bold, or daring, you know, that's your thing, but I—"

He paused.

"Wait— one moment," he said, springing off the bed and back to the door to monitor the hall once again.

Wednesday rolled her eyes, assuming this was going nowhere fast.

She peered out of her window at the view she'd observed her entire childhood. In the darkness, there was little to see other than the woods, but in the distance a set of rolling hills broke up the tree-line, upon which sat a tall, cathedral-like castle which loomed over the endless pine forest. She was sure that if any distant relatives lived there that they would have been to visit by now, so it was likely that she'd never met whoever called such a place home.

Her gaze drifted down toward the exterior grounds.

"Joel," she said, "put your shirt back on."

"No no, just one moment, my… princess of darkness, I just— I thought I heard somebody—"

"No, Joel, I have a better idea…"

He turned and walked over to her. She was gesturing out the window at what looked like a luxury car from the 50s sitting by the side of the house.

"It's Fester's. He won't miss it — he's had his license suspended since Christmas."

"What— we're gonna take it?"

"Yeah, c'mon, we're not finding the mood in here, let's drive out somewhere secluded, and…"

Joel looked apprehensive.

"C'mon," she reasoned, "plenty of people have their first time in the back seat of something or other…"

"Well, who's gonna drive? I've done less than 100 miles on my learner's permit!"

"So? We don't need to go far or anything…"

He exhaled slowly. "Okay… okay, just lemme find my jacket…"

"Wuss," she said, concealing a smile.

"Hey, sue me for not being cold blooded, like you," he retorted, jokingly.

She walked over to him and pinched him in the abdomen. He held her wrists to fend her off.

"Hey c'mon," he smiled, "we'll waste all our energy…"

She nodded toward the window latch. "You're going first."

He sighed, breaking off and opening the window. He shivered as the cold air rushed in. As he clambered down onto the trellis, he looked at Wednesday dumbfounded as to how she planned on going out in only a dress and tights.

They both made it down, and into the car. Joel sat staring cluelessly at the driver's-side dash. Wednesday sighed and flicked the visor down, letting the keys drop into his lap.

"Okay, you can do this," he murmured to himself.

"Leave the headlamps off until we're clear of the house," she reminded him.

"Got it…" He started the car, and crept out along the driveway.

They left the property undetected, and took a backroad further into the woods.

"Man, that's really some storm, huh?" he observed, peering up through the windscreen.

"Yeah, grandmama will love it," she replied, "she can finally brew some more lightning bolt elixir."

Joel pulled carefully off the road and into a small clearing, shutting off the engine. He lingered on a nearby opening between the pines, too dark to make anything out. He turned to her timidly.

"Has this place… got enough of that mood you were looking for?" he meagerly joked.

She jumped on him, stroking his hair. "C'mon Joel, now's no time to be afraid…"

She planted kisses down his neck.

Joel fumbled with the keys. "Hey listen, I think I might just leave the engine on… you know, so the windows don't fog up," he reasoned, restarting the ignition.

She observed him flick the headlamps on and then switch them to high beams.

"Are you really that afraid of the woods?…" she asked. "That's so cliché…"

"How's that?" he puzzled, still anxiously observing the tree-line.

She shook her head, climbing over to the back seat.

"C'mon," she urged.

He attempted to leave his seat, but was restrained by his seatbelt.

"Oh…" he remarked.

Wednesday rolled her eyes.

He sprung free and joined her, placing his glasses in the center console.

She unbuttoned the top couple buttons of her dress in showy fashion.

"Oy vey…" he murmured.

"Oy vey?…" she retorted, eyes narrowed.

"No, like, in a good way," he bumbled, "as in like, 'my, oh my!'…"

She quietly giggled.

"I uh, I suppose I should get out of these khakis," he said, attempting to sound seductive.

"That would help," she glimmered, removing her earrings.

Joel undressed to his boxers, and reached over to the front dash to get the heat turned on.

By the time he sat back down, Wednesday had also slipped into something more comfortable.

"Ooh, lacy," he commented.

She pushed him down onto the car seat and traced her fingers over his chest.

"Wait, sorry—" he cut in, "I can't remember if I brought my inhaler with me," he said, reaching for his trousers.

She hopped off of him, letting him rummage through his pockets.

"Wallet, spare canister…" he began listing to himself.

She peered out the window for a moment, observing the swirling vortex of the storm.

"Okay, good to go," he announced.

She looked back over at him. He was attempting to break open a condom package.

"No, Joel— I told you, we don't have to worry about that…"

"Huh? Aren't— what if you get pregnant?"

She gritted her teeth.

"I won't…" she looked at the roof, "it's— it's a long story okay, just, don't worry about it."

"You're… on birth control?" he guessed.

"No…" she said, growing impatient.

"You have an IUD!" he continued.

"Are you going to shut up, or do I have to sew your mouth closed with a needle?—" she threatened.

"Sorry, sorry!" he said, "I'm just nervous is all, I mean can you blame me?"

She softened. "I always blame you," she smirked, caressing his face.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "alright… we're really gonna do this, huh?"

She kissed him.

"Cara mia," he whispered in her ear.

"Mon cher," she replied.

They lay down on the seat, in heated embrace. He wasn't being particularly handsy, Wednesday thought, so she took the initiative.

He inhaled sharply in response. "Oh, Wen…" he murmured, chuckling.

She smiled. "How is that?…"

"Oy vey, right?" he replied, to her entertainment.

"That might—" he continued, "I—" He was having trouble catching his breath.

"You okay?" she inquired, lifting herself off of him.

"Yeah— fine—" he smiled, between breaths. He reached for his inhaler and began taking puffs.

She sat back against the car door. This had happened occasionally before during particularly frisky make-out sessions.

"Okay," he turned back to her, "I should be alright now."

"No, Joel," she rested a hand on his arm, "it's okay, take a minute."

He looked down abashedly.

They suddenly heard a deep, distinct crack emanate from the forest.

Both of them perking up, they surveyed the tree-line for the source of the sound.

"Uh, Wen, I wonder if maybe we call it a night here?" he quivered, beginning to put his clothes back on.

"Mm," she agreed, but for different reasons.

Partway through buttoning his shirt back up, Joel locked his eyes on something out the window.

"Wen…" his voice turned to a whisper.

She turned to see what he was fixated on.

"What is that?…" he shuddered.

Two beady yellow eyes had emerged from the darkness, clearly belonging to a far larger creature. As lightning struck, it illuminated a leather-skinned, tusked behemoth, almost the size of a truck.

"Looks like a pig," she said, without urgency.

"It looks like it's coming this way!" He prodded her to do something. "Wen?!"

"Turn the lights off," she directed.

The great boar made a beeline for their vehicle, trotting up about a foot away from it. Wednesday stared with fascination into its eyes for a moment, until a single breath from the creature completely fogged up the windows.

Joel grabbed the back of Wednesday's dress and pulled her down to the floor to hunker there with him.

"What are we going to do?!" he whispered frantically.

The car suddenly rocked to one side, then back onto the ground again. The boar was attempting to flip the car.

Joel reached for his door handle.

"No," Wednesday urged him, "not from that side, you'll be crushed."

As it to prove her point, the car was sent tumbling, the entire way around and then landed on its wheels again.

While Wednesday and Joel nursed their head traumas, a powerful screech pierced from the sky, amplifying their daze. It sounded as though another creature had entered the fray, as the next thirty seconds gave Wednesday the impression that an epic battle were taking place outside.

She pointed to the door, this time urging Joel to open it and escape. They both tumbled out, and turned to face the chaos that had found them.

The great boar's adversary was a nimble winged creature, which otherwise resembled the shape of a human. It sliced through the air, attempting to hook the boar with some type of rope.

Joel looked to Wednesday for guidance, as he was at a loss.

"Hope for that one to win," she said, pointing at the flying one. "It's a vampire," she explained, "it probably won't kill us if it's got this thing to feed on."

Joel rubbed his eyes in bewilderment.

At that moment the boar collapsed, hog-tied in front of them. The vampire perched victorious upon the boar's massive body, as it lay there giving heavy, labored breaths.

Appearing to notice Wednesday and Joel for the first time, the vampire stepped down off of its prize and strolled toward them. It took the form of a slender, but muscular man, with impressive, mammalian wings sprouting from his shirtless back. He had sharp facial features, and piercing red eyes, as well as a dark, magical aura that seemed to emanate from his pale body, which matched his short, angled, jet black hair.

Joel couldn't help but back up in fear as he strode over, but Wednesday stood steadfast, her arms crossed.

"Are you human?" the vampire enquired, addressing her only. He sounded younger than she'd expected.

"I suppose," she retorted. "What's it to you?"

Before their eyes, his entire body shrank slightly, while his wings dissipated into black smoke, and his talons retracted into his fingers. He looked like he could have been their age.

He examined the both of them for a moment, then became amused.

"Oh, I don't suppose you had a night of fun interrupted, did you?" he gleaned from their still partially disheveled clothing. His voice was quiet and breathy, yet menacing.

"All you interrupted was our certain death," she chided, "…how dare you."

"Wen…" Joel anxiously warned.

The vampire licked the teeth between his fangs.

"I'd happily assist you in restoring such a fate," he snarled.

"I wouldn't," she warned, "I come from a witch's coven — consuming a drop of my blood would leave you enslaved for the rest of your immortal life."

He was amused.

"No matter," he smiled, gesturing behind him, "this blood will do just fine."

Wednesday tilted her head and nodded toward the beast.

"What is that thing supposed to be, the Erymanthian Boar?" she mocked.

Joel saw the vampire raise an eyebrow slightly, the same way he often saw Wednesday do.

"I suppose that'd make me Hercules," he smirked.

Joel was lost.

The vampire turned toward his prey, running a hand along the animal's back to soothe its anxiety.

Joel put his hand around her arm. "Why don't we get outta here, before the creep changes his mind and murders us?" he whispered.

She acquiesced, and they quietly shuffled toward the car.

"You're of the Addams clan, are you not?" the vampire suddenly remarked.

Wednesday turned back to him, narrowing her eyes. "You know my family?…"

"No," he replied, "but I'm sure a meeting is long overdue, we are neighbors after all. I reside in the—"

"The castle on the hill…" Wednesday finished.

"Yes… yes, that's right…" he strolled back over. "I'm Cade."

She was apprehensive, but introduced herself. "Wednesday…" She held out a hand.

He didn't shake it, so much as hold it delicately in front of him.

"We almost share a complexion," he blithely observed.

She took her hand back, but he continued to study her.

"I'd have been inclined to believe you if you'd told me you were a witch," he said, "you certainly carry the aura of one…"

Wednesday didn't appreciate his inquisitive eyes, but still couldn't help but feel complimented.

Joel attempted to gain her attention once more.

"Well," she began, "my… friend and I were just leaving—"

"Friend?…" murmured Joel.

"Of course," Cade gently nodded. "Do exercise caution next time you journey into these woods," he smiled, flashing his fangs.

Wednesday lingered for a moment, before hopping into the car.

Joel started the ignition and backed out of the clearing, before booking it down the road, white-knuckled.

"Man," he began, "I really thought that guy was gonna kill us and turn us into vampires…"

Wednesday sat silently in thought.

"Wen?" he nudged her, "you okay, you're not hurt?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her daze, "no, I'm fine — are you okay?"

"Uh, I don't know, I'm pretty shaken honestly…" he said.

She looked at him tenderly for a moment.

"Oh, Joel, I'm sorry," she said, "I know I push you into dangerous situations a little too often…" she said wistfully, "sometimes I forget we're really from two different worlds…"

"Oh," he attempted a chuckle, "you don't gotta worry about me Wen, I'm along for the ride here, you know?"

She looked out her window. "Yeah…"

They pulled up to the house, where Wednesday's parents stood, arms crossed, blocking the driveway.

Wednesday and Joel looked guiltily at one another.

Wednesday settled grumpily into bed after receiving the scolding of a lifetime, her parents having called Joel a cab home. Fester's car had been insured, but he'd nevertheless been upset about the damage.

She turned onto her side under the duvet, facing her window. She strained to make out the landscape once again, searching for the castle up on the hill, which she now knew belonged to the boy vampire she'd spoken to not a few hours ago.

She looked up at the ceiling.

'I wonder if they'll cancel my 17th now after what happened tonight…' she thought.

Not that it'd be a great loss, anyway. She'd been enduring the same festivities with her family, cousins, uncles, and aunties for the past few years now — it ceased to carry the same magic anymore. Not that the arcane arts weren't present, but they didn't excite her the way they used to. Plus, she couldn't even count on her long-term boyfriend to show up and keep her company.

She turned back to her window, to the castle on the hill. She wondered how a vampire might celebrate his 17th birthday…