Taste The Dreams of Distant Lives


A long day helping students in the library behind her, Edie sighed to herself as she entered the corridor that her quarters resided in. She loved helping Hogwarts's children and, most of the time, being the school's librarian was very satisfying. Today, however, that was not the case. The students had been snappish and whiny. Which was normal for the week of OWls and NEWTs, but that didn't make it any less irksome to deal with.

Reaching up, she undid the bun on the top of her head. Briefly, she let her eyes flutter close and enjoyed the feel of the tension leaving her scalp and the soft cascade of her hair down her face. When she opened her eyes, she nearly lept back a step.

There was a witch up ahead. She was standing next to the hidden door to her quarters. A frown tugging at the corners of her mouth, Edie's hand surreptitiously found the hilt of her wand in the pocket of her skirt. Keeping it there, Edie drew closer to the witch. As she did, confusion began to take her.

The witch was Eileen. Except… Her daughter's hair hadn't been that short when she saw her just a few days ago. While of course Eileen could have decided to get a bob in the meantime, it didn't feel right. Eileen would have mentioned wanting to make such a drastic change to Edie.

Then there were her clothes. Eileen was wearing a smart navy cloak and beneath it, a ruffled burgundy blouse with a plunging neckline tucked into a straight gray high-waisted skirt.

Edie had never seen her daughter dressed in those clothes before. They weren't much like her style these days either. Eileen preferred loose, baggy things to hide that she still hadn't quite lost the weight she gained from her pregnancy the year before yet.

Slowing her pace, Edie came to a stop a yard away from the witch. From her chosen distance, she considered Eileen more closely. As she did, Edie concluded the witch was not her daughter. At least not here. She'd buried her nearly fifteen years ago now.

"Lottie," she greeted.

A smile broke out across the witch's face and Edie pressed her lips together to stop them from quivering. Yes, she was most definitely Lottie. "Hello, Edie," the woman said, trotting closer. "You look well."

Edie breathed in through her nose to calm herself. Even so, she still could only croak, "How…?"

The witch's smile dimmed. "Oh," she replied, apparently noticing something in Edie's tone or her features. Lottie chuckled weakly and remarked, "I guess your prodigal daughter isn't correct."

Edie nodded. Lottie was not her baby. No matter how she might wish otherwise.

Her expression turning anxious, Lottie asked, "Did your girl make it home to you? Never leave?"

"Yeh are from another reality," said Edie. She had been right. This was another Lottie, some other Edie's missing baby.

Lottie abruptly wan, laughed. "You got it in one," she praised. Glancing away, eyes somewhere else, she added in a softer voice, "You nearly always do."

Edie hesitated, but in the end, couldn't help herself. She laid a hand on the witch's shoulder. Lottie's gaze snapped to her, eyes a fraction wider. "Yeh look pale, would yeh care fer a cuppa?" Edie asked the young woman.

She nodded. "Thank you, please," she replied with manners Edie remembered drilling into her girls (though, Lottie had not quite perfected them by the time she died. Edie wondered who helped this Lottie become the polite witch before her).

Gently, Edie pushed her daughter toward the hidden door to her quarters. "Come on in then," she urged.

-o-O-o-

As they sipped at their respective teas, Edie studied Lottie's face. She still looked remarkably similar to Eileen. If Edie didn't know to look for the little tells, like the small chip in her left canine (gained from the time she bounced her face against the headboard of her bed while playing with Eileen and Esther), she would still think the witch in front of her was Eileen. For all of the similarities, however, Eileen had never looked so exhausted. Not even during her first few months of parenting her twins. Edie wondered how draining it was to travel between universes.

Lottie put down her mug and an expression Edie recognized tugged at the corners of Lottie's mouth. "May I ask…?" she murmured.

Edie didn't need her to say more. She knew that Lottie wanted to know what happened to Edie's daughter. How she knew Lottie was not her baby. "She was in an accident when she was ten," she answered.

Lottie's fingers twitched as if they were looking for a quill and her eyes flitted to her lap. Edie would bet a hundred galleons the witch had a diary on her she was recording the things she learned in. Was it for her own purposes? The purposes of another? She quickly dismissed the second thought.

There was no way anyone at the Ministry would have just let her take a Reality-Shaker to start traversing across universes. Edie had learned a little about them after they got Lottie back and, for the most part, The half-dozen Reality-Shakers the Ministry had were kept securely locked away. There weren't many experiments anyone was willing to test out with the globes. The risk of someone being lost forever was simply too great.

It was a miracle they got their daughter back at all.

Lottie, Edie thought, had probably sneaked one out of the Ministry in the universe she had ended up in. She was no doubt trying to create a miracle for herself. Her heart panged. The poor sweet. How many times had she gotten her hopes up to have them dashed?

It was no wonder she was so tired. To be constantly holding your breath, waiting, hoping that the next universe would be home only to find it wasn't? Edie could think of nothing more demoralizing.

"That's unfortunately common," admitted Lottie.

She blinked. "Is it?" she asked, horrified. How many universes had Lottie gone to where she died in such a painful way?

A facsimile of a smile ghosted across the witch's face. "If there is anything I've learned about myself is that no matter the circumstances, I am always over-adventurous."

Edie frowned. "How many universes yeh been ter?"

Lottie looked to the ceiling and sighed. "Oh… 277, no, 278 now," she answered. Meeting Edie's gaze, she explained, "Typically, I spend a day, maybe two, in each. A few times I end up sticking around a little longer."

Edie considered this. "Yeh have been travelin' fer a couple o' years, haven't yeh?" she asked. While Eileen had been getting married and starting her family, Lottie had struck out on her own and been flitting from universe to universe. How lonely it must have been.

"Yes," she replied. Forcing a fake smile, she said in a bright tone, "One of these days I'm sure to find home."

Edie stared at Lottie. She could understand missing home, wanting to go back, but… Lottie had been so young when she disappeared. The witch had surely spent more of her life in the universe she found herself in than the one she was born in. What could possibly have stopped her from placing roots there?

"Was the firs' universe yeh found yerself in no good?" she questioned.

Lottie shook her head. "It was fine," she answered only to wrinkle her nose and correct herself. "No, it was good. I had you, I had Severus, I even had a little brother and sister too." A wistful sadness came to the witch's eyes."They all love me and did what they could to make me happy."

"Yeh weren't, though," Edie murmured. If she had been, she wouldn't have left.

Lottie smiled sadly. "My happiness never lasted long. Especially as I grew older and really began to understand all that I was missing out on," she admitted.

Edie exhaled and put her chin in her hands. She wondered if Lottie's home universe was similar to here. She reckoned it had to be. Lottie looked quite at ease in their family quarters; as if she'd spent a lot of time here in the past. Edie nor Severus had changed much about their quarters since packing away the baby things once Calliope was no longer a toddler. With both of them coming from impoverished childhoods, the idea of buying new things when the old was still perfectly serviceable or wasting money on frivolities like changing outdated wallpaper didn't cross their minds.

The only real differences were the pictures on the walls. She'd added and changed some as the girls grew up and new additions came into their family. Lottie probably hadn't had the chance to look at them yet. Edie wondered what she would think when she saw pictures of little Severus and Eileen's twins. Had she come across other universes with them yet?

"I'm sorry," said Edie finally. What else could she say?

There was nothing that would give Lottie back what she missed. Nor her family.

Lottie's eyes shimmered. "Don't be," she said. "I may have missed some things, but soon I will be there for all of the rest."

Edie nodded even though she did not feel very confident. The witch had already spent two or so years searching. How many more were to come before she would find her home?

After discreetly dabbing her eyes, Lottie grinned at Edie with all her teeth and asked, "Can you tell me how you all are? I know you're not my mum, but I… I like to catch up with you when given the opportunity."

She paused. How many universes had Lottie crossed where she didn't find an Edie? It was on the tip of her tongue to ask, but she swallowed it down. Perhaps later. "We're well, mostly," she answered. "Sev'rus, he's, he didn't—"

"—Died?" Lottie cut in, voice a whisper. Her expression was mournful, but not heartbroken. Edie's heart squeezed against her ribcage. Had the Severus who raised her died too? Or had she heard the same news too many times already in the different universes she traveled?

Edie nodded. "Wha' about the Severus who raised you?" she asked. "Is it — common?"

Lottie dipped her chin minutely. "It is," she replied. "But my Severus was fine," she explained. A hauntedness came to the witch's encounter and she shivered. "It was you who was nearly murdered by Voldemort."

Edie could not help but gape. "Wha'—"

A scowl swiftly took across Lottie's face. "I don't really want to talk about it," she snapped and Edie shut her mouth. As her face started to burn, Lottie lowered her gaze to her now cold tea. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I don't mean to snap. So many of you ask about Severus and… I just hate having to remember how I nearly lost Edie," she explained with a quavering voice. "She may not be my mother, but she raised me still." Lifting her face, she searched Edie with deep, swallowing blue eyes and pleaded, "You understand, don't you?"

Edie reached across the table and squeezed the girl's thin wrist. "I do, swee'," she assured and Lottie crumpled in on herself with a small sob. "Oh, Lottie," she clucked before getting up to go and hug the witch around the shoulders.

"No, sorry, sorry…" she whimpered. As she sniffled and dried her eyes, Lottie said, "It's just been a few weeks since I had you call me that. I really miss you." Edie hugged her tighter in response and Lottie paused in her hiccuping. She squirmed in Edie's arms and looked up at her, expression apologetic. "I mean my mum and the Edie who raised me," she mumbled.

"I understand," Edie whispered as she brought a hand up to stroke the witch's hair. Really, she did. Edie missed her baby and while Lottie was not her, being able to comfort her, to see her grown… The feeling she was experiencing was indescribable.

"You were doing okay when I left," said Lottie after a time.

Edie pulled away slightly and stared at the witch with furrowed brows. "Sorry?"

Lottie sucked in a shaky breath. "The Edie I left behind in my search for home," she explained as she turned out of Edie's embrace to hold the conversation with her again. "She's okay. Severus was there when she almost died and pulled out some mad, brilliant stops to save her life. She has good days and bad days, but overall she's content now. Her and Severus live in a little croft on a Scottish island with Annie, my younger sister, and they get by."

Edie tried to imagine living the life Lottie described. The thought of having Severus still was tantalizing. As was sharing a little home together on a quiet island away from the gossip of Hogwarts and the nearby communities. Her chest ached at the fact she would never be able to experience a sliver of that sweet life.

"Wha' about yer brother?" she asked to distract herself from the pain.

"Ren was accepted into the hit wizard training program just before I left," Lottie answered.

Edie couldn't entirely stop the shock from flitting across her face. Lottie herself was only a couple of months away from being twenty-three! Her brother couldn't have been much older than twenty when he was accepted into the program. Rarely were such young wizards or witches accepted into the rigorous program. "My," she whispered.

Lottie smirked. "I know," she said. The witch looked away and admitted, "The war gave him… some practice… and they've been shorthanded the last couple of years."

Edie pressed her lips together and nodded. She understood that. She knew of several students who were readily accepted for auror training after the war in spite of how spotty their educations were the last couple of years before they graduated.

"Annie, how old is she?" she inquired, curious to know a little Lottie's sister too.

The witch's face brightened. "Fourteen, or thereabout, now. Severus and Edie decided to send her to Beauxbatons," Lottie told Edie.

She hummed. "Did they?" she said.

Severus had floated the idea of sending the girls there a couple of times when Darla was little and their daughters babies. Edie had always refused to hear it. Severus was Hogwarts's potions professor, what kind of message would that have sent to others about the school? Sometimes Edie regretted not listening to her husband. Other times she became angry at him for not giving his true reasons for wanting the girls away from England (and Hogwarts). Usually, however, Edie didn't let herself think about it.

Lottie bobbed her head. "They worried about the way other students and possibly professors would treat her at Hogwarts," she explained.

Edie rubbed her chin and mused, "If I weren't the librarian here, I may o' considered sendin' Calliope there."

"It would have been the right choice," replied Lottie.

She eyed the witch. "Yeh think so?"

"Know," Lottie said, emphatic.

Edie blinked. What had Lottie learned during her travels that made her so confident? She began to ask, but the witch slapped a hand on the table, and cried, "But let's not talk about that!" She laughed then and tipped away from Edie in her chair, one arm coming to rest on the back in a nonchalant manner. "I'm curious, when I was little here, would I tease Essie until she cried?"

Edie gave a slight shrug of her shoulders and sat back down in her seat. "Yeh did," she replied. She huffed as she recalled the way it used to drive her mad. "Tha' was a vexin' period. There were times I considered sendin' yeh ter live with the house-elves."

Lottie's eyes lit up. "The house-elves?" she repeated before falling into a fit of giggles. "Oh that's good!"

Edie smiled at the witch.

"I think you're the Edie with the best humor I've crossed yet," Lottie declared once she'd stopped snickering.

"Thank yeh," she said, feeling warmth fan across her chest. "I must set a pretty low bar, though, if tha' tickled yeh so much."

Lottie's gaze turned inward. "My Edie was pretty funny too, I think," she murmured. "I was so little…" The witch sighed. "Anyway, it's not your fault. Most of you don't lead lives that leave you much room to be cheery."

Edie raised her brows. "Tha' so?"

"Mh,"she replied with a nod. "In too many universes I don't exist at all. I think my existence is an outlier actually."

Edie felt her stomach drop. That was almost worse than her being dead. For as short as her time was with her daughter, Edie would never ever change it for anything. "I'm sorry," she said.

Lottie waved off the apology. "It makes it easier to keep going," she said.

She frowned. "Does it?"

"When I see you or any of our family, really, I just want to stay. I mean in most places where I do exist I'm dead. So it's not like I'd be cocking things up if I just decided to make one of these universes my home," Lottie told Edie, breaking her heart all over.

She reached across the table for one of Lottie's hands. Thankfully, the witch let her grab her fingers as she said, "I'd have yeh in a heartbeat."

Lottie gave her a small, sad smile. "I know," she whispered.

Edie let go of her hand and exhaled. She had no right, but she felt disappointed. "Yer not goin' ter stay, though, are yeh?"

She shook her head once, expression determined. "I want to go home," she insisted.

Edie eyed the witch. "Wha' if yeh never find it?" she questioned. Lottie had been searching for two years already. How many more years of her life would she give to what could possibly be a wild broom chase?

Lottie scowled at her. "I will, I have to, I'll die before I stop trying," she declared.

She lowered her gaze to her lap.

"Sorry," Lottie muttered. "I didn't mean to sound cross," she told Edie. "I just…" the witch trailed off and buried her face in her hands with a frustrated noise.

Edie lifted her gaze and once again noted just how wan the young woman looked. She needed rest. Edie was not sure she would be able to convince her to take a break, but she was going to try all the same. "Yeh look tired, Lottie," she said.

"I am," Lottie admitted. She looked up from her hands and searched Edie's face. "Do you mind if I spend the night?"

"Not at all," she agreed in a rush. Excited, she chattered, "Yeh can even sleep in yer old room. Just know it's—"

"—A crypt. I'm aware," broke in the witch, grimacing.

Edie reached into the pocket of her skirt and began to wring her wand. "I, we, yer father an' I, didn't mean fer it ter happen," she stammered. "Eileen moved in with Darla an' then no one ever wanted ter go in there 'cept fer us when we were missin' yeh."

Rising to her feet, Lottie walked over to her side of the table and patted her shoulder. "I know. I stopped being upset about my room being a mausoleum ages ago."

"I'm sorry still," Edie said.

Lottie met her gaze, face touched. "Thank you," she said.

Edie stood up. "Do yeh want clothes? Yer taller than me, but a gown could be fixed with a charm," she said.

Lottie moved aside her cloak to show that she had a satchel hidden beneath it. "I've got some jimjams in here."

She nodded and together they walked to where Lottie's old bedroom was. Before the witch went in, Edie called, "Lottie?" When the witch turned her head to look back at her, Edie asked, "Will yeh be here in the mornin'?"

"Of course," said Lottie, glancing away as she did.

Edie's heart squeezed. She probably wouldn't be. "I'd like ter say goodbye ter yeh at least once if I can," she pleaded.

Lottie sighed, hand finding the door handle. "I'll be here," she reaffirmed.

Edie reached out to kiss her cheek. "Sleep well, my swee' child," she murmured.

The witch's eyes snapped to her, mouth parted with surprise. "Edie," she uttered.

"I love yeh," she told the young woman.

Lottie furrowed her brows. "I'm not—"

"No matter where yeh come from, no matter wha' Edie birthed yeh, yer still my daughter. I love yeh," cut in Edie, forceful.

Lottie stared at her. "I love you too," she whispered at last. Opening her room's door she said, "Goodnight."

"Night," replied Edie as the younger witch slipped into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.


I've thought about in the past what would Lottie do if she never got to go home. One of my ideas was she'd steal herself a Reality-Shaker and go hunting for home. This two-shot is Edie's encounter with a Lottie from another reality who never went home to her parents after her impromptu trip to a yet another different reality.

Thank you all so much for reading!