IMPORTANT: The following chapter may contain the use of Shinto mythology. This is for entertainment purposes only. The content was not created to hurt any aspect of the religion's beliefs. Everything is just derived from the author's imagination using Shinto mythology as an inspiration.

Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Not beta'd


As of now, I don't have proper control of my vocals nor do I know how to express myself in Japanese. So I can't just ask my mother or nee-chan to take me out for a stroll, so I can at least guess where in the Narutoverse am I? With the tried and true method, if I can find the hokage monument. Counting the hokage heads will also give me the answer as to when I am in the timeline. But my eyes are still kind of blurry, so it wouldn't matter now if I can go out or not. It's getting better every day I feel. But I think in the meantime, biding my time is the only option I have. I could try to regain my mobility in this new body of mine but I know that little children's bodies are very delicate. Bones too soft and easily breakable. That's why I'm taking it easy. Can't start messing with my chakra too. What if I end up like Rock Lee? No, I want to be able to do jutsus. No, I am not making excuses to be lazy.

In my life prior to becoming a baby, prior to also becoming the lazy butt, I was the 'jack of all trade but master of none' type of person. Except for one thing I excelled at but did not approach a career on it.

I love to argue.

It was very common for me to talk my way out of anything. I am sure I may have lost some arguments in my life prior to my death. After all, no one is omnipotent. But they might be on really insignificant matters that I can't even remember if I've truly ever lost an argument. If I somehow survived dying, I definitely would've been able to walk my way out of murder charges without even being first arrested. I am that confident in my ability to argue. The only reason I did not go through the whole being a lawyer route is because, I can't for the life of me see myself memorizing the freaking National Constitution or anything equivalent to that. Same with studying medicines and physiology. I was very much happy with my chosen career path. Being a 3d environment artist gave me freedom to be in my house most of the time. I am losing my track of thought again!

Whatever. As I was saying, having the ability to argue and talk is very essential to me. So I babble. I babble a lot. I argue in baby talk with my now new (but old?) mother. I argue a lot and she also returns it eagerly. I wildly gesticulate with my chubby stubby small hands, sometimes even trying with kicking my small legs, I argue with my mother. So I could learn how to talk as soon as possible. I think my mother also understands that. Because after each of our debate sessions, she would grab me from my crib and start blowing raspberries on my sensitive tummy. Despite my indignant squawks of protests she would not relent. Then I would try to remove her face from near me by both pushing and kicking with my small fists and feet.


Days and probably even months pass by. I realize this for both my eyesight and hearing has fully developed. Nowadays I spend my time pointing at different things while sitting on my nee-chan's lap and her telling me what they are called. Kaa-chan and I are still continuing our arguments religiously. I don't know which one of us is currently winning. As soon as I start understanding the language I'm going to keep a tally on that front. I also did not have to wait long for the outside world. Guess kaa-chan was just waiting for when I'd be a little more grown up. But since I am so intelligent to know enough that when you put a finger on your lips, it's an universal sign of keeping quiet, my kaa-chan decided it's time for us to start moving to another place. I don't understand much but I think the place we are staying in is actually a hotel room. It looks very luxurious and modern. So I think my kaa-chan is loaded! I feel kinda giddy!(kukukukuku!)

After leaving the hotel, I thought we would immediately start heading towards some woodsy area. Probably because Konoha is surrounded by woods I thought that. But most of the time we were always in some kind of new town. We never settled in someplace permanently. But every city or town that we encountered were all really the busy kind. You know, like my previous world's New York no, not New York. More like Las Vegas and Macau rolled into Coachella from what I can gather. It was very similar to where I used to live before. It calms my heart. All this noise in here seems very familiar to me. The only problem I have with all this moving about is, I can't eat any of the food all these places have to offer! I just started my teething too and I can also crawl now. So I guess it's been more than four months at least since I've arrived in this world.

In my first time around the babyhood, my mother always said that I learned to both walk and talk, way before I reached my first birthday. But this time around I doubt that would be the case. I can probably manage to start walking before my first birthday. But I don't think I can learn a whole new language that fast. Arguing with baby talk can take you so far. I was really adept at learning new languages in my previous life. You can learn anything by watching TV or a couple of YouTube videos. That's all you need to become even a professional at anything. Nowadays I just try to crawl on my nee-chan's lap while she's doing her homework that kaa-san gave her so I could learn how to read with her. But nee-chan is a teenager and all she's studying are beyond the level of basic hiragana and katakana - that's what I think? Kaa-chan always takes me away when I do that and scolds me. Whatever. It's not my fault that nee-chan starts playing with me instead of studying. Oooh! I just learned how to say 'study' in Japanese. I can just ask them now.

"Kaa-chaan! Okaneee!"

Everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing. Nobody's moving a single muscle. Not even the crickets. Then I repeated again, "Okanee!" while pointing at the book nee-chan was reading.

As if a spell just broke, both of them started fussing over me. Oops! Just realized that it's the first time I actually talked - not my nonsensical babble - and I did it by speaking a sort of sentence at the first go. Well, not exactly the reason they are overreacting I'd later understand.

"Tomi chan do you understand us? Look at this. This is okane." - said kaa-chan while pointing at a thick stack of money, the only thing universal everywhere. So what I thought meant 'study' in Japanese turned out to be money for Japanese. Ookay! Great start if I say so myself.

I then point towards the book that's lying on the floor then point at myself. "You wanna learn how to read Tomi chan?" - Kaa-chan asked me while pointing at me and then the book. I can understand now what she's asking, because she's speaking slowly while pointing at stuff. Now, I could've just nodded as my answer but where is the fun in that? I point at myself and the book again while saying, "Tomi benkyou suru, Tomi… Okane!"

Why only ask for knowledge if I can have money too, you know!

And that's how my foray into learning my new language begins.

Everyday kaa-chan and nee-chan would give me a sheet of paper where hiragana would be written and I would call them out letter by letter while also trying to write them. With a brush. And ink. With my uncoordinated baby hands. With both of my hands for some reason. At the present moment, I feel like I have ink on my face and body. I probably don't look cute. They are laughing at me! "Staph laphin!", I snarl at them. As an afterthought I also add, "Old Hags!"

They do stop laughing at me for a moment then suddenly they are like hyenas madly cackling and tickling me mercilessly. I can't help but start laughing at them cause their faces got smudged by the ink on my hands, "Ha ha ha!"

They stop after a little while to take a breather. After the brief break kaa-chan takes me for a bath. This hotel has a very luxurious art deco style bathroom. Hence lots of mirrors in here. Come to think of it, I have still yet to see how I look as a baby. Since I am in this new world, I am sure to get some unique features. All I know about my looks is that I am cute - every baby is - and that I was born with unusually long and thick hair which is very rare for newborns. In my first rodeo on babyhood, it was the same case. So let's see for myself how different I look now and hope that I don't get body dysmorphia. Thank God this world has Snow White so I know how to say - "Mirror! Tomi, mirror!"

"Awe Tomi-chan you have never been in front of a mirror before have you!? I don't know how you became such a narcissist then? Must be from your tou-chan's side of the gene pool." All this was said by kaa-chan while she's drying my hair with a towel right in front of the mirror. I see shit right now. Dang woman! Let me see myself first would you! And is that the first thing you ever say about my maybe new father? Grrr! Whoa! Is that me! I look the same! Kinda. I was totally a brunette before. Now I have red hair. Like burnt red colour - very eye catching might I add - and gold-ish eyes. I used to have a beauty spot on my left side of the chin, the exact spot like Kakashi's. Now it has moved onto my right side. My right side used to have a dimple that moved to my left side now. My face turned a total alternate with no longer having that dark spot. I was cute before but now my character design screams the main character. If I ever get bangs, gonna look like Akatsuki no Yona. But does red mean Uzumaki? So super chakra powerhouse? The only thing that matters in this world if I want to be powerful, in my opinion. But don't wanna get hunted now. Don't wanna be hyperventilating. I need to distract myself. Looking in the mirror I think, I am plenty distracting myself.

"Kaa-chan, tou-chan red too?"

"Hmm? Your tou-chan doesn't have red hair like you but your eyes kinda look a bit like him."

"Where tou-chan?" - is he dead? Is he a shinobi? Why do I never see him? Is he a lying, cheating, deadbeat too?

"Tou-chan likes to travel a lot. I haven't seen him in a while dear. So he doesn't know you exist."- Well that's upsetting and way to go dropping a bomb like that so casually on me. This woman is nothing like my momma except for her face. Kaa-chan seems very irresponsible. Does that mean I am born out of wedlock?

"Tou-chan no marry kaa-chan?" - With a soft look in her eyes, kaa-chan took a while to reply.

"Your tou-chan loves me a lot. It's just me who never could return his feelings baby. I know if I ever ask him to leave everything behind to be with us, he would doubtlessly do so. He would doubtlessly love you too." - She said those words with so much conviction. Then why do I hear a but coming? And all this also doesn't answer my question. You can be married even without being in love. I just want my origins to be neat and clean. I definitely don't wanna be called a bastard. Would not be able to come up with a good comeback if that's true!

"But I cannot do this to him. Even though it's been years since - I still cannot give my heart to him fully. He deserves much better than this. Now enough about this Tomi. We are going to be late for the puppet show you are so excited about. Kami knows why these people are coming here just for a puppet show all the way from home." - Hmm. Interesting choice of words. If I wasn't interested before, I sure am now. As of now, I only know that we are in the Fire country. And that I only came to know because of the money they are using to teach me how to count.

One day I asked nee-chan who is this droopy eyed fucker on my money and she said it's the Daimyo of our country. The Land of Fire. She also told me to never repeat the word 'fucker'. I told her that I learned it from kaa-chan which is true! Whatever. I only need to figure out where 'home' is. Suna or Konoha. Cause I am legit sure my kaa-chan and nee-chan are shinobis. No one learns iryojutsu that is known to be the hardest without being a shinobi. Period.


Freaking shadow puppetry!

It only took dying for God to finally see me. Thank you God! And I am not talking about Pain here(that phony!). Again thank you God that you listened to my prayer and now I know that kaa-chan's home is Konoha. We even got to talk with them before the show started! Well I didn't get to talk with them personally. Because kaa-chan chose the exact moment to talk with them when I was taking my power nap in her arms. By the time I woke up, I could only just make out the end of some Nara ponytail. Grr! I couldn't gather any intel! Whatever! I am just gonna enjoy the show now and bug kaa-chan later again to let me meet them backstage.

Seriously!? You are from the biggest baddest military village around here and you are showcasing a story about a dead girl falling in love with a dead boy? It better not be a story worse than Twilight, damn it!

"Stop scowling would you! If you keep doing that you will get frown lines soon." - Nee-chan interrupted my chain of thoughts like that's gonna work on me! I am not that obsessed with my looks but still as a precaution, I smoothed out my face and put on a smile. Even if the story's gonna suck at least it's gonna be played out with shadow puppetry. I'm really excited to see the first jutsu I'll ever see after iryo jutsu!

The story's name is The legend of the Lava Mountain. They say that it's the story of how the Land of Fire came to be but I tell you it's a love story huh! But to give credit where it is due, they did narrate the story very beautifully from what I can understand. Nee-chan had to explain things here and there for me to grasp the story a little better. The story goes like this - 'Once upon a time, even before the six paths was born, there was a lousy ass Daimyo who recently had been blessed with a very pretty baby girl after having seven sons beforehand. All the seven sons were all from his side chicks'. Only the daughter was from the main chick - I mean the legal wife - La Queen. The moment the princess was born, the kingdom started to become prosperous and shit(Even the narrator at this point said 'shit'!). People even started saying that she's the incarnation of Benzaiten, the mother and protector of the now Land of side bitches got jealous of the alpha bitch because she was getting all the clout. So they plotted and poisoned the little princess - (At this point in the story the crowd started crying too. What the hell!?). All the doctors couldn't do anything to save the princess so her lousy slut of a dad and her mom went to a shinto shrine to see if the head monk could save her. The monk then said that a malevolent spirit has possessed the baby girl and is leaching off her life force. So to save her they needed to find a dead man to get her married. - 'This story is taking a real dark turn!' - Thankfully they found a dead little boy and they did the ritual to get those little babies married to each other. The princess got saved and her parents left for their palace with her. Plot twist! The little boy was actually alive and was just unconscious. The wedding ritual was supposed to make the malevolent spirit take possession of a dead body as a vessel and then burn it afterwards by throwing the body in the lava mountain. The monk knew that the boy was alive but still had him thrown into the lava! What an ass! - 'And people wonder why can't I trust any religious influencer!' - The shrine belonged to a God named Inari Okami, who saw all of this happening. So, to save the baby boy, he gave the child a part of his will, so the baby boy could fight with the evil spirit and win. But something unexpected happened because of this. By defeating the evil spirit the baby boy inherited it's power and became the first kitsune spirit to have ever existed - 'Wait WHAT!' - But his body has already been through too much. So to heal him, the god used the life force of the shady monk. -'this god seems kinda shady too'- He was declared as the messenger of Inari. The boy was then raised in the shrine by the other monks, to atone for the head monk's sins. Years passed by. Both the princess and the kitsune grew up. Both of them knew what they were to each other. But the princess didn't know that the kitsune still existed. The princess continued to make her land prosper through agriculture, literature, tourism and her personal inheritance of wealth. She was loved and recognised by her people. And that's all she needed. The only thing she couldn't tolerate was betrayal. She always knew that her father was a total slut. He did nothing to avenge her when she was in her dying bed just as a mere baby. Did not punish those responsible for her almost dying. Despite knowing everything. The freaking peasants even know! And now, that lousy whore of a Daimyo is trying to get her married to another loser like her father. Who is as old as her father. In another Kingdom. Stupid Daimyo didn't even get that if she leaves the kingdom, the future of the land is doomed! Because she's the one who's making it a proper kingdom! But no one likes their hard work to go to waste. She'd never been an ambitious person. She'd never prayed for another person's downfall. But everyone has their own morals with their own limitations. And her so-called father had already crossed those limits. She went to the shrine for the first time in years, where she first married as a baby. To ask for the God's forgiveness, for what she's about to do. She would not take the coward's way out and flee from her beloved land. She knew her loyal subjects would suffer if she left them. Rather she'd gather allies to overthrow her father's sovereign. Sometimes you need to… deconstruct things before creating something better than before. And God agreed with her. He wouldn't have given her the kitsune as a husband otherwise, a one man army power source. Protecting her since the day she's born. So loyal to her and only her. He would never take any other woman except for her. Even if she dies he would still be loyal only to her. A woman like her only needed just that in her life. With him by her side, together they usurped the corrupt Daimyo's court and expanded the land from the lava mountain to which we now know as the Land of Fire. The princess and the kitsune were known as the mother and father of this land. The kitsune had many children with the princess. But as time went by, the kitsune realised that he and his children were going to outlive the princess. After the princess died, not much had been known about the kitsune and their children. Some say he killed himself, wishing to be born again to reunite with his beloved. Others say that he took his children, went to the celestial plane and became a constellation. And~ that's how the story ends.'

"Finawee! Tomi tired!"

"But don't forget little ladies and gentlemen, if the mother has been born, the father will surely soon follow!"

"Nee-chan! Take me back. Meet puppet man!" - To emphasize more I pointed at the stage repeatedly.

"Tomi-chan, you forcefully kept your eyes open for a long time. I think you should sleep now."

"No! Puppet man~!" - I involuntarily started crying a little too because of frustration. I always try to control my emotions but it's hard! My teething doesn't help matters either.

"Okay okay! Stop with your emotional blackmailing we are going!"

"Tomi no blackmailing!" I protested while sniffling but it came out kinda slurred and not clear.

"We can continue our arguing later. Didn't you say you want to meet the puppeteer? Now let's go or you are gonna miss them."

Nee-chan carried me against her hips while I wrapped my arms around her neck for support, clutching my hands on her clothes tightly. Don't wanna get snatched away from her by some stranger in this crowd. By the way, I just noticed.

"Where kaa-chan?" I asked nee-chan while trying to look around.

"Hmm? It is kind of weird that she's not keeping an eye on us right now but don't worry. Nee-chan is strong enough to protect you." She beamed at me while tickling my nose tip. I got cross eyed a bit as a result. But she didn't answer my real question!

We reached backstage and nee-chan told me to slap the curtain a little bit to announce our presence.

I slapped it as hard as I could. For research. And it also makes a loud announcement. The curtain almost fell off with its rod but a string of shadow caught it before it could fall completely and made a lot of noise. It looked very otherworldly. All this time the shadow play was happening behind a screen. So it didn't look too unnatural. But now it just looks very weird.

We went inside and saw that kaa-chan was there. Healing a little boy while scowling a lot. The boy didn't seem visibly injured to me. Probably kaa-chan was healing him for a while now. And he was very talkative for someone going through a long time consuming treatment thingy. Now I may have been born yesterday but I would know that Uchiha stamp anywhere. Which Uchiha could be this talkative? Uchiha Obito at this age. This Uchiha looks like he hasn't even hit the double digit yet. But didn't Obi-Tobi have spiky hair? This one had curly-wavy hair. Kinda like me. But…

"Tomi hair way~ better, hmm!" I just couldn't help myself. I swear I wasn't like this before! At least not this much. I think kaa-chan was right. Must be from my tou-chan's side of the family.

Now I can't even deny that I was talking about that Uchiha brat because I was pointing at him too.

"Wow! You really think that I look better than you!? I think so too!"

'This guy has no shame! How dare this little brat! I will show him what true beauty means, you phony, grr!' I thought while wiggling in nee-chan's arms so she'd put me down.

"Tomi stop struggling. You will fall off and hurt yourself. And no you can't jump on this nii-chan's tummy now. He's still not healed yet." Nee-chan is holding onto me with all her might while trying not to hurt me too.

"Let her on the floor and come here, take over from me. I will handle her tantrums." Kaa-chan interrupted her while wiping off her sweaty forehead. 'But the floor is dirty! Disgusting! I don't wanna get anywhere near it when I can only crawl!' While nee-chan is lowering me on the floor I spread my legs as much as I can to not touch the surface. 'Ooh! I have never been this flexible in my life before.' Every time she brought me near the floor I would repeat this action. I know they are laughing at me. At least some of them are trying to stifle it unlike some brat.

"Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! I just can't. Look at how red and puffy her face is! She's ready to blow up like a phoenix fire jutsu. My sides are splitting! Ha ha ha ha!" The brat was slapping on his bed while laughing at my expense. Kaa-chan took a look at my face while again checking on the brat.

"Gaki stop laughing and it's not your sides that are splitting. It's your stitches that are ripping. Get yourself under control or I'd get you to be in control." She never takes any bullshit.

Amidst all this I got fed up with trying to dodge the dirty floor. I was wearing a very luxurious kimono with a very soft fur collar and trimmings. I did notwant to dirty it. So now I am trying to stand up for the first time. I got so distracted by trying to stand up that I stopped being angry a little less. Now I just have a cute pout on my face instead of a gremlin. Meanwhile, seeing me distracted, nee-chan exchanged her position with that Nara and I am now clutching his pants legs for balance.

I looked up at him. He doesn't have scars. But he does have eyeliner put on. My legs are shaky. But they are stabilizing little by little.

"What name? I Tomi." The Nara man was rubbing a finger tip under my chin. He rose an eyebrow at my question before answering simply with, "Ensui. Nara Ensui." Doesn't ring any bells. Whatever.

"En-chan, who that gaki?" I ask him while pointing at the ignorant brat who doesn't recognize true beauty.

Cue the brat opening his trap,"This little baby is calling me gaki. Ha ha ha ha!"

"Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Uchiha Shisui. And trust me; it was more than a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Your reactions are by far the most amusing I have ever come across in a chibi. And I've come across my fair share of chibis but you definitely take the cake!"

This is Shisui Uchiha!? Like meeting a canon character this soon? But this guy…? Boy…? He looks like a baby version of RDJ! But it doesn't matter. He's not getting off the hook easily just because he's a canon character. I. Won't. Let. Him. I would have let it go if it was true. He's pretty. But he's not prettier than me. Period.

I move a little towards him and I lower my head a little bit. My face framing pieces of hair cascading around my face delicately. 'This little boy is going to die one day. Unfairly.' This thought made it easier for me to do this.

I look up at him, my eyes shiny with unshed tears, 'the result should be very glittery', "You a mean onii-chan! You wong!" Making my voice a little shakier. Letting a tear fall from one of my eyes, I look directly at his eyes and say, "I can't make you say sorwee now cause you hurt, I can't boop you now and I can't cwy(cry) now cause I no disturb you!" A little sniff here and there in between as if I could start bawling my eyes out at any moment.

Shisui meanwhile is looking around wildly. Panicking. Exactly how I want him to be. No one is stepping in to comfort me or to help him. From the corner of my eyes, I can see a girl, probably an Inuzuka, throwing him an angry disappointed look.

I continue trying to stop myself from crying. My little body is shaking from the effort. I am also hiccuping a little.

Any moment now!

"I am so sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry I swear! Please hime-chama, forgive this mortal for his ignorance. I was a fool to even think of comparing us together. Your beauty has no comparison. Not in this world, not in others. You are a queen, I am a mere peasant. You are a goddess, I am a mere mortal. Compared to you I am an Ogre.

Please stop crying! When you cry, I am pretty sure puppies die. You don't want that Oba-san with the doggy to be sad do you?"

I probably took it too far. Meh.

I shake my head a little while replying with a small subdued voice, "No. But do you weally mean it? You weally sworwee?"

He nodded vigorously and said, "Yes. I really am sorry. I would never hurt your feelings like this ever again."

Taking a deep breath I try to cool down my emotions a little more. I feel like this is a big step into canon divergence. You can't expect me to not intervene in this child's future death when I freaking know about this. When I just had a friendly verbal spar with him. Like it or not, when you know, you are responsible. I may have been a lazy butt in before. But I have never shirked on my responsibility. Hell if I can fulfill my responsibility as a daughter for that lying, cheating bastard; I sure as hell can at least try to make a change in his fate. So, by the God and for a good measure Naruto, I asked him,

"Then, Shishi-chan and Tomi fwends!?" I stare at him with a hopeful look in my eyes.

"Uh, Yes. Definitely. But Shishi-chan?"

"Haa! You call Tomi hime, Tomi call you Shishi-chan! Why? You no like?" I again make my voice sound more vulnerable. Shisui starts fussing over me again and tells me, "Please don't cry hime-chan. I hate tears. You can call me whatever you want. I am your loyal subject!"

That makes me actually laugh. He's so silly! Though, I was too tired to stand up straight.

"Tomi-chan, you were standing!?" Blinking my eyes, I look up at kaa-chan and nee-chan. I stretch out my arms towards them to pick me up.

"I wanna nap." I said while yawning a bit. Handing me my bottle of baby formula, which is still perfectly warm thanks to storage seals,I drink from it a little bit then fall asleep. Before totally falling asleep, I am pretty sure I heard them talking about Orochimaru's defection. I am glad that babies can't have pimples or I wouldn't have forsaken my beauty sleep. But what if I become a shortie when I am older!? Not gonna think about it now.

From what I remember from the series, Orochimaru defected right after Hiruzen took the hokage seat back. That means all the major events like Obito being crushed, Rin Nohara's death, Kurama's unleashing as well as Minato and Kushina's death had already happened.

I am not arrogant enough to think that I am born to make a difference. With that being said, I want to make a difference in this world. I want to create as many ripples as I can, making my mark on this world, it could be positive or negative. But I want to change things.

Then why was I born so late? To make any difference?


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