I don't own Naruto.

Unedited.

Not Beta'd


The next time I woke up I found myself in an unfamiliar place. It was a tent. There was a really bad smell permitting the air with Shisui's fat ass right in front of my face. At first I thought that how dare he fart right on my face! Why is he even sleeping beside me? Should I spank your ass? But then I remembered that I am not yet potty trained. Don't be judgy. I am a literal baby. I was born in June and now it's nearing February. I already made enough progress in growing up. And it's not an excuse for being lazy. Whatever, meh! Now onto the matter at hand, I think I am gonna do the doodie. So, I have two options. I can either ask nee-chan for help who is by the way sleeping while cuddling me in her arms or, I actually explode in the futon and blame Shisui for it later. However fun it would be to frame Shisui like that i have my own dignity. So, in the end I start waking up nee-chan.

"Nee-chan, Me poo-poo!" I whisper-yelled at her.

She immediately woke up. Damn that ninja training she didn't even startle. She assessed the situation and took a hold of me by my armpit. She already laid out my portable changing station 'that thing is handmade from Suna, just saying' and laid me there to remove my clothes. I was still wearing my fur kimono ensemble. It's a cold weather probably that's why they didn't change me before to keep me warm. Then she sat me on top of my potty. I was a bit embarrassed doing it with Shisui in here sleeping. 'After all I used to be an adult.' But sometimes you have to let go of things, literally.

After cleaning up I asked nee-chan where is kaa-chan. She is being a very neglectful parent lately. And I feel hungry too. Nee-chan took me outside where I see it's beginning to dawn and the adult shinobis are all hanging out near our and another tent. Seeing us come outside kaa-chan immediately took a hold of me, sitting me on her lap she started talking to others without even properly greeting me. No kisses, no blowing raspberries on my tummy, she did not even start our daily arguing. How could she ignore me like that!? Wait a minute. She's actually talking about me. Further investigation tells me that she's talking about how I was born. Is she finally gonna fess up about who is my tou-chan? Shisui took this time to also wake up and join us.


"I was invited in the Tanzaku Gai's summer fashion week that also had a collection for pregnant women, as a show stopper." Kaa-chan was saying but seeing Shisui open his mouth kaa-chan continued,

"And before any one of you ask, it was for the safety of the other civilian models that I agreed. Out of the goodness of my heart. Not because I owed the organizers any money damn it!" Kaa-chan exclaimed while nee-chan interrupted her with "Language! Stop ruining Tomi-chan's innocent ears."

Kaa-chan continued without paying her any attention. Meanwhile I was thinking, 'Kaa-chan and fashion show!? Don't get me wrong kaa-chan is a very gorgeous woman. But she seems a bit of a tomboy. She's graceful but not in a girly way at all. She also does not seem particularly womanly in attitude. She's a bit like me when I was big before.'

"I was already feeling the contractions when the show started. But since my water didn't break I held her in my womb, constantly praying to let me finish the show first then Tomi can come out. She's his daughter. So naturally she just had to come out with a bang! Right after I ended my walk on the ramp my water broke. The surrounding models, the designer Hitaichin and some photographers also noticed my predicament. I would forever be grateful to that woman, Hitaichin. She grabbed me by intertwining our arms and somehow gracefully cat-walked me inside the backstage. There, surrounded by beautiful nosy models, studio lights, expensive clothes and jewelries , Tomi-chan was born. Thank Sage my reliable kohai was there to deliver my baby to me." Cue her pinching and kissing my cheeks. 'Now you pay me attention? Huh! I am still mad at you!'

Kaa-chan continues on,"If it wasn't for my kohai, one of those long taloned vultures called models would have definitely scratched my baby with how much she was hovering even before I, the mother got to hold my baby!"

"Shishou, none of them has ever seen hair like Tomi's. They were mesmerized even I was mesmerized." Nee-chan told them a bit exasperatedly. 'My mood is kinda improving. Who doesn't like being complemented. Hehehe! But I still don't know any detail about my tou-chan. I knew from kaa-chan before that he's bit of a narcissist. To be honest, who isn't? Today I learned he is a bit of a showy guy. Why can't you cough up more information kaa-chan!?'

"Even though I've seen Kushina nee-chan's red hair before, I've never seen any child being born with long hair. Every single person there was fawning over her. Then Tomi-chan start crying. more like yelling." Nee-chan you can't drop a bomb like Kushina on me that carelessly!

"Ha! That's more like the hime-chama I know. Yelling right after being born." – Baka Shisui dared to interrupt my nee-chan. But a glare from me shut him right up.

"Shisui-san, you don't have any control do you?" I think nee-chan is indirectly calling him tactless.

"Control is a very old fashion notion and I consider myself a very fashionable person. Don't you think so?" Is he trying to flirt with nee-chan? Gross! She's way out of your league.

"Well I couldn't see much fashion under all that snot while your wounds were being stitched." Ooooh! Burn. You did not have to call him a loser like that nee-chan. Have some mercy on a younger guy. But Shisui also shouldn't have interrupted the part where I was yelling right after being born because of my headache. I want to learn now what did they think about it. If kaa-chan and nee-chan know anything about me having my past life's memories.

"As I was saying before being interrupted, Tomi chan started yelling. But not because she was overwhelmed by the models, "Vultures"- Kaa-chan mumbles under her breathe.

"But because she was having a headache. She was also strangely aware of everything. Not really like an adult but when I did a scan on her brain it seemed like her brain was trying to catch up with everything at a fast rate. There was an old wives myth that children born with long hair has a certain maturity in their minds. There is no scientific proof about it but that time it came into my mind. So I carefully inserted some pure medical chakra in her head to soothe her headache. Mind you, It's actually not recommended to use such an invasive medical ninjutsu on such a small baby but it seemed like Tomi-chan was about to have a brain hemorrhage. I only used a little bit. Somehow, just that small amount of medical chakra was enough to stop it from happening. My theory is that her immune system itself created a defense mechanism to prevent her brain from exploding." So they are explaining my fight for my memories as some medical mumbo jumbo. Good for me. I won't have to come up with any cover up myself if I ever behave like a genius. Phew!

"You said something about her catching up on things at a faster rate. Is she like a genius?" Why the hell are you poking your Nara ponytail in my business Ensui of the eyeliner? And nee-chan, giving me my bottle whenever I get angry is not a solution. I thought bitterly while drinking my formula. Dang ninja baby formulas taste great!

"No. I don't think so. Tomi-chan is way too busy looking at herself in the mirror to be a genius." Nee-chan lied? I only looked at the mirror for the first time just yesterday! And I already started writing too. Is she trying to undermine me or is she trying to make them underestimate me? I mean it is true that I am not actually a prodigy but it's okay I guess. After all Konoha ruins their prodigies. Don't want Danzo's crusty butt after me.

"Well you can have both good looks and a genius brain. Just take a look at me!" Shishi-chan gets me. He also reminds me of a character I watched before in an anime. What was his name again?

"Obnoxious!" I point at Shishi-chan with my empty bottle and say this. He really does resemble Tamaki Suo in personality a lot. It's really amazing. Oh no! I think I made him upset. He's shedding crocodile tears now. "Hime-chama is so mean. Whaa~!" Well here comes damage control.

"Wanna be like Shishi-chan Tomi." I declare it loudly. Well, he's the only prodigy that's actually functioning like a normal human being. Not being broody and gloomy like the other prodigies. Oooh! The shade.

"Awe hime-chama, you really want to be like me? You are so cute. Daddy is so proud of you." Shishi-chan snatched me away from my kaa-chan and started spinning with me really fast. I just ate moron! And who are you calling my daddy?

"This brat is kinda weird. Is he really calling himself her daddy? Then who's the mommy in this weird equation?" Mused nee-chan to kaa-chan in the background.

"Don't know but it's definitely not me. Her real tou-chan is enough of a headache." kaa-chan replied.


***Meanwhile somewhere in Konoha***

Right after tidying up his little baby brother, a certain six year old little boy sneezed real loudly. Feeling a cold sensation on his back, he turned around to see a crow behind him sitting on the window ledge.

"Aho! Aho!" the crow cowed.

"I have a feeling Shisui is going to involve me in something stupid." the little boy mumbled to his baby brother.


***Back with Tomi and the others***

"Bleurgh!"

"Aaah Tomi-chaan! Why did you puke all over me? Eww!"

"You spin Tomi wround wround like a wecowd. Make Tomi dizzy. Shishi-chan deserve dirty. Meh!" For an added effect, I also raised my nose at him after wiping my mouth on his sleeve. Somehow, thankfully I did not ruin my clothes while throwing up. 'Freaking ruined my breakfast. Making me sick.'

Plopping me back on kaa-chan's lap, Shishi-chan went away to quickly clean up and come back.

"Did Shishi even clean up good?"

"Shishi came back too fast. Shishi not clean correct. Hmm!"

"Oi chibi-hime, I am called the shunshin no Shisui for a reason. I do everything at top speed." I can truly feel the smugness oozing out of him. I can also say so many dirty jokes to this but we are both little kiddos. So I am gonna show some restraint. Also I don't have the correct vocabulary to make the jokes.

"By the way, who and why did you name Tomi, your daughter after? Is that an ode to the late Princess Mito-sama?" The Inuzuka lady with the cute eye-patched dog asked kaa-chan. 'Yeah. I wanna know my name's meaning too! Previously, my name had the meaning universal truth. I hope it's something cool like that.'

As usual, Shisui couldn't keep his mouth from yapping unnecessarily.

"Isn't that kinda offensive to ask that to the grandma? I mean it's totally obvious that a famous gambler -who completely sucks at gambling- might I add would name their precious baby 'wealthy' for good luck." This guy has no filter. Kinda reminds me of Naruto. But what's this about kaa-chan gambling? I've never seen her gamble before. Moreover, did she really name me with the Japanese equivalent of 'Richie Rich'? I don't know if I should be flattered or irked! Plus the mention of both Princess Mito and gambling make her sound like Tsunade. Neither does my kaa-chan have a purple rhombus on her forehead nor does my nee-chan have a pearl wearing pig named Tonton[Oink!]. And every one of them addressed kaa-chan as sensei or lady something. So I am safe. But Shisui isn't?

"I think I did not properly treat you last night brat, let me correct that." With that right after nee-chan removed me from her lap, kaa-chan jumps at Shishi-chan with a right hook. Shisui moves at the last nick of the time with only a giant crater in the place he was at. 'Guess that means kaa-chan is Tsunade!'

The other two ninjas also moved away from them where kaa-chan was chasing after a giggling Shisui. This guy seems to have a death wish. I can't keep track of him. He's so fast!

"I know I am a gambling addict. You didn't have to broadcast like that!"

"I never said you are a gambling addict, I just said that you suck – OW!" "Granny, stop throwing boulders at the injured and innocent." Shisui said cutting the boulder in half with his tanto! This is getting out of hand. kaa-chan is fighting a nine year old. This is ridiculous! 'That Shisui is taking away everyone's attention from me. How could he!'

Involuntarily, tears of anger and frustration came into my eyes and I started to,

"WHAAAAA! WHAAAAAAAAA!" I am out of control. And once a baby start crying then it's hard to stop.

"STOP IT! You are making Tomi-chan afraid." Not the reason I started crying but since it got me attention then who cares. Now I understand why in my past life, my attention seeking cousin used to cry in every little thing. But that tactic stopped working after a while. I need to use this tactic carefully. Plus since my past life, I had a thing against being a crybaby. Only my parents cared and that was enough.

"Awe Hime-chan, big bad grandma made you cry. Let me make it up to you." Out of nowhere, Shisui summoned a book in his hand. I can't read the title but I didn't have to.

"The best book to have ever existed, The Tale Of The Utterly Gutsy Shinobi by my idol's sensei, the great toad sage Jiraiya!" I stopped crying because of the shock factor. And he did some kind of pose too that makes me want to puke again.' Is he going to read that to me? Since I am in this world I really wanted to read this. And the Icha Icha series. Ahem!'

I made grabby hands at Shisui from nee-chan's arms. Come to think of it, Shisui seems very adept at handling me compared to both kaa-chan and nee-chan combined. Which is odd considering both are way older than him? Hmm, something to think about. No matter how good he seems. Still not gonna make him change my diapers. I have some dignity damn it!

Nee-chan was displeased that Shisui's tactic stopped my crying. She reluctantly handed me over to Shisui who carried me inside the tent. There he put me on his lap, opened the book on the first page and started narrating the story in 3D. Wait a minute. 3D!?


Author Note : Shisui is a character that is rarely explored or kept alive in fanfics in my opinion. Let's hear about all your fanon theories about him if he was kept alive. ;)