Disclaimer: see my profile
"Spencer Reid cherished sunsets and felt ambivalent toward the sunrise. On the one hand, a morning meant a new day, a new opportunity to – be. On the other hand, sunlight seeping into his room through drawn blinds heralded another day of wishing, hoping, desiring - Jennifer, as he called her in his thoughts when he lay alone in the dark.
Today, the sunset closed out a day of violence, and hope renewed that he could stand every day for the victims. He could go to his lonely bed believing that he made a difference, that someone cared.
Spencer's thoughts tumbled over themselves after the end of his – magic trick with Dr. Theodore Bryar as he walked along the silent passenger train. Soon it would move again, its diesel engines whining, its wheels grinding steel on steel, and its horn blasting into the night. It would continue onto its destination in Dallas.
As he walked past LEOs, and other crime scene personnel, he heard someone call his name. A voice that never failed to send his heart into overdrive and butterflies into his gut.
"Hey, Spence," JJ called to him from behind.
"Ah – hi, JJ."
"Glad to see you again," JJ said with a smile as she squinted against the sunlight brightening unbearably in the west. "Knew I would."
"What?" Reid said in utter confusion.
"You know," JJ said, and her smile dimmed slightly. "You said, 'Could at least one of you act like you'll see me again?"
"Oh," Spencer said and felt the blood rush to his face. "Everyone had this look on their faces as if I were walking to my doom."
"I wasn't thinking that but I - was - concerned," JJ said.
"You were?" Spencer tried to shove down the hope rising in his chest.
'Well, yeah. We are friends, right. I didn't - don't want anything to happen to you. I'd miss you around every day."
"You would?" Spencer said as his stomach clenched.
How can you be a genius and dumb when it comes to a beautiful, unique, intelligent, strong, kind woman like JJ. Of course, she only wants to be friends.
"Yes. I like you, Reid. You make me laugh."
I make her laugh. Why? Did I do something stupid?
"I do?" Reid asked.
'Yes. You always come up with a weird or funny fact or statistic that makes me laugh when I most need it."
"Oh, well, I should go help Gideon or something," Reid said after blinking hard and clearing his throat against tears.
"Sure. I'll see you on the jet."
Reid watched JJ walk away. She appeared to be in a hurry. Maybe she needed to talk to the press or with Hotch.
Or she can't wait to get away from you. Remember that it was her idea for you to remain friends instead of trying to date. She invited Garcia along as a buffer. What more do you need to realize that she doesn't care about you that way? Stop being stupid and get on with your life.
Later, when Reid climbed into the SUV and watched the last rays of sunlight sinking below the horizon, he sighed and resisted the urge to hang his head and let tears fall. After all, the sun would rise again and bring back the promise of a new day.
Now, he would go to the hospital and see that Elle had a clean bill of health. He'd know that one of his friends had survived an ordeal that put them both on the razor's edge of disaster. He would know that someday he'd look at JJ and see only a friend.
