Reconciliation

Elliot's heart booms in his chest like the base of a concert stereo blasting out into a stadium. It rushes in his ears and drowns out the nurses and doctors streaming nearby him into a sterile, white blur. Elliot's mind is only focused on one thing.

Finding Liv.

He hasn't been able to catch his breath since he received the call.

"Is this Elliot Stabler? It's about Olivia Benson, there's been an accident…"

Elliot jogs down the hospital hallways, eyes bouncing off walls, doors and direction signs, body dodging nurses and nearly crashing into trolleys. Elliot silently curses himself for not asking what had happened to Olivia when he was on the phone with the nurse, leaving his mind to the torture of imagining what has happened.

Elliot halts when he enters Block D, reading the black words printed on the wall, Trauma Unit. Elliot swallows and squeezes his eyes shut, pushing away a new wave of vivid, graphic images featuring Olivia's broken and bleeding body.

Elliot finds the front desk and runs over. "Detective Elliot Stabler," he pants, briefly flashing his badge. "I'm here for Olivia Benson, someone called me earlier."

The reception nodded, briefly looking down at her computer. "Right, detective. You'll have to check in and wait-"

"No. I need to see her. Where is she?"

"You can't go in; the doctors are operating."

"Operating?" Elliot's voice rises, emotion ringing deep in his voice, from threat or fear he isn't sure. His fists pounds into the desk and his spine lengthens, shoulders squaring over hers. "What the hell happened? When I was on the phone twenty-minutes ago with the nurse nobody mentioned an operation."

"Sir, please calm down."

"Like hell I'll calm down."

"You may find that if you stop yelling, she'll be able to help you."

Elliot whips his head around, furious eyes searching for the interruption and landing on Rafael Barba, standing a few feet away from him near the water cooler. It takes a heated beat before recognition flickers past Elliot's eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

Barba ignores his question and walks over. "Liv was in a car crash. She has a fractured rib, but no other broken bones, head trauma or internal bleeding. They're performing surgery to stabilise her fracture. It's a straightforward procedure and the doctors think she'll be okay."

Elliot's still seething, but his breathing slows as he takes in the news. She'll be okay.

The receptionist clears her throat, and nervously pushes a clipboard with a sign in sheet towards Elliot. "I'll need you to sign in and take a seat detective. I'll let you know as soon as you can see her."

Elliot snatches the pen, scribbles his name down and walks over to the waiting area. Barba watches him plunk himself down on a chair and follows him, taking a seat next to him.

"You didn't answer my question," Elliot says gruffly, his eyes staring straight away.

Barba almost chuckles, the laugh exhaling through his nose in a puff of air and twitching at the corner of his lips. "I could ask you the same question detective."

"I got a call to come down."

Barba watches Elliot hunch over from the corner of his eye, elbows resting on his knees, head hanging with a new heaviness. He understands Elliot's stress. That was Barba, moments ago when he was riding with Liv in the ambulance, holding onto her hand, arm hanging limp from her unconscious body.

"I saw Liv earlier tonight... when I left Forlini's, she was getting into a taxi. The taxi was just pulling out when the car hit it. It came out of nowhere…could have been going eighty a mile."

Barba watches Elliot's fist tighten and his muscles tense creases into his forehead. He can feel the stress vibrating from his body.

Elliot's voice is hoarse when he speaks. "Did you find out who hit her?"

Barba shakes his head, looking bitter. "The son of a bitch drove off. Hit and run."

Elliot lifts his head up, fury flashing across his eyes. "You didn't take a photo? See his plate?"

Barba's eyes narrow with irritation. "Sorry detective, I was too busy dragging her unconscious body from the cab and calling an ambulance."

Elliot lowers his eyes and for a tiny moment, feels foolish with his accusation. He lets out a small huff of air, silent. On some level, Elliot knows his rage is a little unreasonable. He should be grateful that Barba was there to get her help in time.

Still, Elliot says "So you two were at Forlini's? I'm surprised she was willing to see you after what you did."

Barba tenses. "She was hurt, I know I betrayed her, and I don't expect her to forgive me yet. But I don't regret what I did."

Elliot's head snaps up, his eyes flashing furiously onto Barba's. "You defended my wife's murderer."

"I was defending her reputation," Barba fires back, his pace quickening. "Which, given your complete disregard for the laws and procedures, wouldn't matter to you. No Stabler, you take the laws into your own hands, don't you? No matter what violence you inflict, no matter the cost?" Barba's tone rises. "Do you have any idea what any other lawyer would have done to her on the stand? It's more than just her reputation, this could have jeopardised her career."

Elliot almost scoffs. "You're trying to tell me you helped Wheatley walk free, to protect her career?"

Barba's eyes harden onto his. "Let's be clear detective. We won the case because your team failed to provide substantial evidence beyond reasonable doubt and because you and Liv didn't follow due process. Let's not forget that you and your team conspired to frame Wheatley." Barba pauses for a moment; sees something flicker pass his gaze, loathing. Barba continues, "Second, you don't get to question my character or my intentions with Liv."

Elliot's eyes narrow onto his. There's something in the way he says the last statement that makes him fume, sending prickles of anger running up his skin and clouding his chest. Who the hell does this guy think he is?

Elliot studies Barba, the corner of his lips curling into his cheek. "You don't care about Liv."

Barba raises his eyebrows. Despite his pure loathing towards Stabler, he can't help but feel amused, seeing Elliot try to bate him. "And you do? You left SVU ten years ago, without a single goodbye."

Elliot exhales a huff through his nose. "You don't know what happened."

"I don't? I hear you shot a girl, the daughter of a rape victim. Then you ran off to Italy." Barba sees his fingers curl to the side, feel the rage pulsing from his body. It pushes him on. "What I can't understand, is how it took Internal Affairs so long to realise what you were capable of…years of police brutality swept under the rug."

Elliot's cheek curls, tugging his lips into a smirk. "Like you don't have skeletons in the closet?"

"I don't deny it. But I've never hurt my friends, I would never hurt Liv. Frankly, I don't understand how she can speak to you after how you betrayed her ten years ago."

Elliot doesn't bat an eye, but Barba sees his fingers curl deep into his fists, can sense the rage pulsing from his body.

Elliot shakes his head to the side, blocking him from view. He huffs, "You're not worth my breath Rafael."

Barba raises his eyebrows higher. "Keeping your cool? Wise. I don't suppose the doctors and nurses will be as tolerant of your anger as your team is back at the station."

"Go to hell Rafael," Elliot growls. "You don't get to judge me."

"Why? Because I defended your wife's murderer? I know I hurt Liv, and I hate myself for it, believe me. If there was any other way-"

"My family watched their mother's killer walk free, and you fought to make it happen. They live with that pain every day."

"And Wheatley is dead now. So, tell me what your anger is really about?"

Elliot is silent. However, Barba can see his fists clenched tightly, his shoulders squaring away from him, tense.

Barba knows he should stop provoking Elliot, but what he said to him hit his never. I'm surprised she was willing to see you after what you did. Perhaps because Barba's encounter with Liv was so recent, it still feels raw. And perhaps because he can see how totally blinded by love Olivia is, that she sees past Elliot's arrogance, belligerence and total abuse of power and was willing to sweep aside years of friendship with him, all because he stood up against Elliot.

Yet it was Elliot who left SVU. Barba remembers learning from Rollins about how hard it was for her to be accepted into the team, to earn Liv's trust, due to the shadow of Elliot Stabler. Barba knows that Elliot's presence never left Liv. Yet it was Barba who witnessed Olivia conquer her demons following her kidnapping, become a mother and transform their precinct.

She's changed. Yet Olivia still sees Elliot through the same pink hearted lenses, as if he never left.

"You want to talk about pain detective?" Barba asks suddenly, breaking the silence. "Do you have any idea what Liv has gone through these past ten years?"

There's something in Barba's tone, a sombre sincerity, that grabs his attention. Elliot lifts his head up, turning to the attorney. "What do you mean?"

Barba exhales a laugh, sadness and amusement crossing his features. "She never told you, did she? Of course she didn't…"

Barba knows that Olivia wouldn't want to give Elliot more pain.

Elliot wants to know more.

But Barba's phone rings, grabbing his attention. Instantly, Barba whips it out, as if he was expecting it.

"Rafael."

Barba stands up and walks a few feet away for some privacy, but Elliot can still hear snippets of what he's saying. LucyYes, I'm at the hospital…No, it's not critical…Noah's away…yeah, I can meet you outside in an hour.

Elliot draws the connections together, realising that Lucy must be Olivia's babysitter, and Barba is organising to take Olivia's son to the hospital. Elliot swallows back guilt. He forgot about Noah. Elliot recalls their brief encounter on Mother's Day, remembers Noah's doe brown eyes and head of chocolate curls. He knows he's adopted, but the resemblance to Olivia is uncanny.

Elliot watches Barba go to update the admin desk, his mind turning over Barba's words. She never told you, did she?

Why didn't she tell him? What's she keeping from him?

Elliot recalls his recent interactions with Olivia, each one leaving with his invitation to take her out and the hopes that maybe, she'll open to him. Time and time again, Olivia politely declines each offer. Elliot thought that perhaps she wasn't ready to trust him yet and still needed more time.

Now Elliot wanders if there's more to her not wanting to open up, if she's wanting to protect him too.

When Barba returns, he notices that something has changed within Elliot. He notices the pull of Elliot's brows together and his eyes staring a few inches across the ground, looking deep in thought. When Barba sits down, Elliot lifts his head.

"You're right," he says with dry sincerity. "I don't know what's happened these past ten years, but you do. Tell me what she's gone through."