"Isn't it beautiful, Batman?" Joker asks with a grin as Batman holds him dangling in the air. "Look at it! We did this together, you and I! We were made for moments like this. Ah ha ha ha haa..."

Spittle and blood flies out the Joker's mouth as he throws his head back with his usual loud and wild laugh, as the city burns in the background.

*** A short while later ***

Police sirens wail as Gotham PD arrives at the destroyed remnants of the theme park. Several officers and the commissioner jumped out of their cars so quickly you'd swear they were still driving.

"I'm sorry it took so long Batman." Commissioner Gordon says. "The whole city is in chaos and we're trying to put out as many fires as we can."

"It's fine." Batman responds. "I think you will find more explosives and detonators in the old circus tent, along with a dozen or so of Joker's goons all subdued.

"Thank you, Batman." Commissioner Gordon tells him. "Do you want us to take the Joker off your hands while we're at it?"

The Joker is sitting on the ground now, feet bound and handcuffed behind him. He turns to the commissioner and smiles like he barely noticed he had arrived. He does his best to wave at him despite his hands being restricted to his back. "Hi." He says passively.

"No!" Batman responds. "I think it's best if we don't risk it, and I take him to Arkham myself."

"Alright Batman. Be careful." The Commissioner tells him.

Batman reaches down and forces Joker to his feet, before leading him to the Batmobile.

"Bye!" Joker shouts to the Commissioner and other officers. "I had a lovely time."

Batman grumbles and no one answers.

When they get to the Batmobile, Batman has to lift Joker and toss him in the back seat. The Joker plays a game of exaggerating his grunts as Batman does so. Batman does not acknowledge him, before climbing into the driver seat.

"Oooh! Where are we going?" Joker asks playfully. "I hope you're taking me to somewhere nice. I wore my best today."

Batman tries to sigh silently as he closes the top and starts the car, still ignoring Joker. The Batmobile is surprisingly quiet considering its size. Batman has to resist yawning as he looks at his dashboard. He considers speeding the whole way to Arkham.

'It's the end of the night.' Batman thinks to himself. 'I'll just take it slow.' He turns the A/C on and starts driving away slowly.

"I do enjoy a lovely cruise." Joker says. Batman continues to ignore him.

Ten minutes into the drive and they start seeing the signs of city life. The billboard lights and neon signs help keep Batman a little more awake and alert. Batman peers into his mirror to check on the Joker. He is sitting up and looking out the window, but he does notice Batman is staring, so he cracks a smile at him.

"R'you checking out my cleavage Batman?" Joker asks. "I wore something low cut for you." He references a rip in his shirt, before chuckling.

Batman looks ahead. When he does he spots a Burger Castle to the right. Despite trying to ignore it, his stomach grumbles very loudly. He hadn't eaten all day.

"I told you we should have left earlier, Batsy." Joker says. "Now you're getting the hanger pains. Hee hee." Batman avoids looking back. "Is that why you're ignoring me?" Joker asks.

Batman doesn't respond, but unfortunately his stomach does. "Gurmble!"

"Well, it's a good thing you don't drink blood." Joker says. " You didn't leave much." He throws himself down and lays on the back seat.

Batman is trying to ignore his stomach, but it's worse than usual today. It grumbles a few more times. He knows he can't call Alfred about food, with Joker in the car.

Not knowing what came over him, Batman catches himself suddenly turning into a McGothams parking lot.

"Whoa!" Joker exclaims noticing the change in course.

Batman circles around the building and pulls up to the drive-thru. When he gets to the intercom, he opens the Batmobile's top about halfway, so Joker doesn't try to jump out.

"Welcome to McGothams, how can I help you?" A young sounding boy on the intercom asks.

Batman wonders if he should really order something, but decides he is already there.

"I'll have a Gotham Burger, with the works." Batman asks.

"Did you want the combo with that?" The intercom asks.

"Yes." Batman answers.

"And I'll have the chicken tacos!" Joker says, now sitting up and leaning forward.

"Sir, we don't have chicken tacos here." The intercom answers.

"Don't listen to him." Batman grumbles. "Make the drink a water." He says, continuing his order.

"Did you want it bottled, or in a cup" The intercom asks.

"Do you have chicken filets?" The Joker asks.

"No, shut up!" Batman says. "Get back!" He places his hand on Joker's face and pushes him back. Joker loudly and playfully tries to bite Batman's fingers.

"We have the chicken filet salad." The intercom answers.

"Yeah! Get that!" The Joker shouts.

"NO! Don't listen to him!" Batman says loudly.

"So no chicken filet salad?" The intercom asks.

"No!" "Yes!" Batman and the Joker answer at the same time.

Batman stops, turns around and gives Joker an angry glare. Joker snickers then makes a pouty face. "You're no fun." He says, before looking away.

Batman turns back to the intercom. "Just the Gotham Burger combo, no salad."

"Ok, Gotham Burger Combo with a water." The intercom asks. "Do you want to Gotham size that, for an extra forty-five cents?"

"Yes." Batman responds.

"Oh Batsy, you know what all that food is going to do to your tumsy wumsy?" Joker asks playfully.

"Shut up!" Batman says.

"What?" The intercom asks.

"Not you." Batman replies. "What's my total?"

"It'll be $7.85 at the window." The person says.

"Thank you." Batman responds while trying to pull forward.

"Don't forget the ketchup!" Joker tries shouting at the intercom. Batman ignores him again.

The Batmobile starts to pull up to the window, and even before they reach it, the kid excitedly opens the drive-thru window and sticks his head out.

"Whoa! That's so cool!" He says. "It looks like the real thing."

Batman looks at the kid questioningly for a second before choosing to play along. "Thanks."

"Are you coming back from a costume party or something?" the kid asks.

"Yeah!" Batman responds, shuffling through his console for his wallet.

"It's date night!" Joker says, hidden from the back.

"Oh cool. This is so rad." The kid says. "It'll be $7.85."

Batman starts looking through his wallet and realizes he does not have any cash. Feeling a little concerned, he pulls out a credit card, but it has "Bruce Wayne" printed on the front.

'Shit!' Batman thinks. 'I didn't bring any cash." He contemplates using the card, but he knows it'll be too obvious. Batman digs through the center console again, but finds nothing. He then turns toward the passenger seat and sees a brown leather bag he picked up earlier. He knows it's evidence, but he decides to look inside it anyway.

'Just my luck.' Batman thinks. 'It's full of money.' He contemplates the moral of using some, if he plans on returning it anyway.

"Uh oh!" Joker says. "That's not yours, Batsy! You can't just take that."

Batman frowns, trying to still ignore the Joker. He reaches in and finds a loose twenty dollar bill.

"Gasp, Batman! How could you?" Joker asks before chuckling.

"Shut up!" Batman responds. He turns around and tries handing the bill to the cashier. Unfortunately the boy cannot reach.

Batman tries leaning out, but the driver seat is surprisingly far from the window. He has to open the top a little more and partially stand to hand the kid the money.

"Whoa! Cool Joker costume!" The kid says, now being able to see the Joker.

"Thanks!" Joker responds. "I made it myself." The kid keeps staring and admiring the detail.

"Well, He helped me with the make up." Joker references Batman.

Batman shakes his head when the kid looks at him.

The kid goes inside the window and rings up the order. He opens the window again and hands Batman his change. "Did you want the water bottled or in a cup."

"In a cup!" Joker says. "And can you make it a soda instead?" The kid nods.

"No!" Batman responds, startling the kid. "Bottled is fine."

"OK." The kid replies, going back into the window for only a moment. "Here you are." He comes back out with the water, which Batman accepts. The kid goes back into the window, but does not close it this time. He is admiring the Batmobile.

"I hope you don't mind me asking," The kid suddenly says. "You said it was date night."

Batman rolls his eyes and looks away.

"I thought there'd be girls with you." The boy says. "Are you going to pick them up?"

"No, there are no girls." Batman replies, not thinking of his wording.

"Oh... Okay." The boy says, glancing at the Joker, then looking away embarrassed.

"Nope," The Joker says. "Just me and the Honey."

"Oh," The kid responds.

"Shut up!" Batman tells the Joker. "It's not like that." He says toward the kid while trying to look forward with a straight face.

"Don't be like that!" Joker says, before looking back at the kid. "He loves me! We're the perfect couple, him and I."

"We're not dating!" Batman interrupts loudly.

"Well, No. No, we aren't." Joker says. "He doesn't want to make it official, yet."

"We're not a gay couple!" Batman grumbles, loudly.

"No, of course not." Joker says feigning modesty. "He just likes the way I make him feel."

Batman frowns angrily, but chooses to stop talking. The boy looks at Joker, then Batman and can feel the angry tension in the air.

"I'll just go get your food." The boy responds, slowly closing the window.

"WE SUCK EACH OTHERS' COCKS!" Joker yells loudly and starts making slurping noises as the window begins to shut.

"SHUT UP! That's not true!" Batman shouts.

The boy turns red as he walks away. Batman can now see the cook and another employee trying to peek out the window. Batman closes the top to the car partially, concealing Joker.

A moment later the boy comes back with the food, and struggles trying to reach Batman around the partially closed top. "Enjoy your food, sir." The boy says.

"Did you make sure not to forget the ketchup?" Joker shouts. "I don't want to have to come back around."

The boy's ears turn red with concern as he does not really remember. Batman throws the bag of food on the passenger seat and drives off before Joker can say another word. Joker grunts as he flies to the back of the seat.

When the Batmobile reaches the street, the Joker tries once more to crack a joke. "You're not even going to bother checking the contents of the bag?"

Batman ignores him.

They continue driving for a while and the smell of the food does not help one bit. Batman's stomach grumbles a couple more times. They know they're near when they pass a large billboard that says Arkham exit. Jokers stomach rumbles.

"Hey gimme a fry, Batman?" Joker asks.

Batman ignores him.

"Oh, come on! They're only getting cold." He says.

Batman continues to ignore him.

The Joker looks back out the window, turns his body, and leans against the opposite side. "Didn't even ask if I wanted something." He grumbles.

As Batman continues to drive, city life seems to die down a bit and one of the only places he sees lit up is the Gotham Bank. Normally he would ignore it, but he remembers the twenty dollars he borrowed earlier. Not wanting to make an extra stop after the asylum, Batman decides to pull out the money now, then leave the evidence with the security at Arkham.

The detour does not go unnoticed.

"Hey, while we're running errands," Joker interrupts, "Do you think we can take my suit to the dry cleaners? I seem to have gotten blood on it."

Joker waits for a response which never comes.

"I have no idea where it came from." Joker continues trying to annoy Batman. "Do you think it's mine?"

Despite being in a parking lot, it's empty and Batman zooms to the drive-thru ATM. Once again he has to move the top back enough to stand. Batman pulls his card out of his wallet and tries to quickly place it in the machine. He is eager to get this done and drop off the Joker.

"I saw a B!" Joker shouts.

Batman turns and sees Joker leaning his head out the window trying to get a good look at the ATM and card.

"Your name starts with a B, doesn't it?" Joker asks.

Batman pushes Jokers face away, but he just rushes forward again. Getting annoyed and not wanting Joker to look at his bank account, Batman grabs his cape and throws it over Joker's head.

"Hey, that's not nice!" Joker responds. "Are you being modest, Billy?"

Batman, annoyed, jumps out of the car and tries covering the screen with his body as well.

"No? Not a Billy?" Joker asks. "How about Brian? Is your name Brian?"

Batman hits a few buttons on the ATM for a quick withdrawal.

"Wait a second." Joker says. "You're not a Bob, are you? Ha ha! Imagine that. Bob the Bat!"

Batman pulls out his money, and quickly ends the ATM process. He turns around and pulls his cape off of Joker who is now leaning very far out.

"Sit back down!" Batman snaps, pushing Joker back into the back of the Batmobile.

"Ugh!" Joker says. "You're not one of those stuck up guys that puts their nickname on their card, are you, Barry?"

Batman jumps back into the batmobile and starts closing the top again. When he gets in, he places his card and most of the money into his wallet.

"It doesn't actually say Batman does it?" Joker asks, trying to lean forward.

"Get back!" Batman tells him.

The Joker does not oblige.

Batman is holding a twenty dollar bill and glaring at Joker, who starts to grin happily. Realizing he is letting Joker get to him, Batman chooses to ignore him again. He turns to the bag of money and shoves the twenty dollar bill in it, before zipping it up.

"You sure I can't have any fries, Bruno?" Joker asks, feigning politeness.

"No!" Batman says, before shifting gears and stepping on the gas. The Joker is thrown back as the car jerks forward. Batman doesn't notice the joker has managed to twist his right hand most of the way out of his cuffs.

"Gee Bartholemew, you're so moody today." Joker complains.

The rest of the ride is mostly quiet, with the joker pointing out random unimportant things, and making a big deal about them. Batman spends the time trying to ignore him.

They reach the tall black gates with their gothic letters stating "Arkham Asylum."

"Home sweet home." The Joker gaffes, double checking if Batman is watching. He isn't.

The gates open and Batman slowly drives up the long entrance to the front of the asylum. When he gets there, several orderlies and security guards are waiting with a special stretcher covered in restraints.

"Oh, it's my favorite warm and comfy bed." The joker says, shaking his right hand to get the feeling back into it. "I hope they febrezed it. "

Batman is just eager to get rid of him. When they reach the front, the orderlies rush to the Batmobile as the top begins to slide back. Little does Batman know, the Joker is slowly standing up directly behind him with his usual mischievous grin.

The top clicks as it opens completely and the two orderlies panic seeing the Joker poised and ready to strike.

"Batman!" One of the orderlies shouts in a panic.

Batman turns around a little too late, as Joker leaps forward, over the passenger seat, and dives head first into the McGotham food bag. The Joker makes it a point to chew as loudly as he can as he tears through Batman's food. "Om nom nom!"

"Hey! Stop that!" Batman shouts trying to pull Joker out of the passenger seat.

"Oh it's so good!" The Joker says, before diving back into the bag. Batman pulls even harder, and the joker comes out with a large chunk of burger in his jaws, dangling by a paper wrapper. He shakes his head like a dog, throwing food and sauce everywhere.

"Get out of my car!" Batman says angrily. He grabs the loose cuff and pulls Joker's right hand back, locking it in place again. Bits of burger and paper are still falling from Joker's mouth.

"I told you the fries were gonna be cold, Benny." Joker tells Batman. He then looks at the orderlies for reassurance. "Aren't cold fries just the worst?" He asks them. Neither knows how to respond.

Batman pulls the Joker out of the car and grabs the bag of money as well. He pushes him toward the orderlies who begin strapping him into the stretcher very quickly. They've clearly had a lot of experience doing this before.

Batman then angrily hands the bag of money to one of the security guards. "Be sure the police get this. It's evidence." He turns away and stomps back to the Batmobile.

"I didn't finish my meal!" The Joker says, sadly.

Batman reaches into the car, grabs the food, and angrily throws it to the ground.

"Oh Braxton, I wanted that." The Joker whines, before starting to chuckle.

Batman jumps into the Batmobile and starts quickly driving away before the top can even close.

"Thanks for the ride, Bosco!" Joker calls out. "I had a fun time!"

Batman is too far to hear.

"You gonna eat that?" Joker asks one of the orderlies, while trying to gesture toward the ruined food.