87

Sanshuo - Salamander puppet

Karasu - Crow

Kuroari - Black ant

Goodbye?

Few days have passed since Shikamaru arrived in Suna. Temari and himself were trying to catch up all that time they had missed together… The time that there were feelings between them, but there was no confession about it. Temari's health was improving with every hour.

After her morning training session with Kankuro, she had decided her other brother deserves her attention as well.

"So you want to get a written permission for marrying Shikamaru?" he asked.

"Yes, I do. I plan to take that permission to the Hokage and ask her for permission on her side. I presume our Council won't just give up on my services."

"That's because they realise what a loss it would be for Suna. I hope you realise it too."

She smiled.

"I do. But Kankuro is staying here, right? And Tenten is taking care of my arrangements quite well."

"But she is going to go home at some point," he shrugged.

"Will she?" Temari raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by that?" The Kazekage frowned.

"It doesn't really matter right now. The time is going to show…" She waved her hand like to toss this as something minor…

Gaara looked at her for a minute like he was trying to guess what exactly she had in her mind. His face frowned and it looked like he reached some kind of inner conclusion about all of this.

"Well, if we got Tenten involved anyway, maybe it is not the worst idea if she travelled with you to Konoha? She hasn't gone home for awhile and I am pretty sure she won't mind. What do you think?"

"I think this is one really good idea." Temari smiled. "Should I tell her?"

"Please do so."

The woman nodded and attempted to ask something else when there was a knock on the door. The man lifted his hand, gesturing to her to shut up.

"Come in," said Gaara.

The door opened slowly and Tenten entered the office.

"Gaara-sama…" she started right away, then her eyes laid down the other kunoichi. "Temari!" she smiled.

"We were just talking about you."

"Really?" Tenten was truly surprised.

"Yes. Shikamaru and I are going to travel to Konoha in three days. We will be really happy if you would come along. The Kazakage is fine with the idea," she winked.

Tenten immediately lightened up.

"It would be wonderful to see the girls and my teammates." Her smile became radiant.

"So it is decided. We are leaving in 3 days."

"I will inform Godaime." Gaara sighed. "I will ask you to spare Kankuro this information. I have something specific in mind."

Tenten frowned but nodded anyway. Gaara was taking good care of his siblings and she believed his request was rational. There was a good reason for sure and Tenten didn't have to know what it was all about…

"So why did you come to me?" Gaara asked, turning to Tenten.

"Right. I was going to ask about the kids' final test." She smiled uneasily. "There was nothing about that in the notes you gave me. And the exam is coming soon. I needed to know what exactly they need to be able to do, what are the criteria for a valid exam and is there some kind of change during the years or it is something with constant content."

"Temari?" He turned to his sister, obviously confused.

"Yes… I will take care of this." She grinned.

"Thank you." Tenten said.

"Wonderful. I do not want to hold you here more," he said and started reading a report, ignoring their presence completely.

Temri lightly pulled Tenten's sleeve and nodded towards the door. Both women went out of the office and walked down the hall.

"During the training Kankuro mentioned he was going on a mission tomorrow morning," she said. "I suppose Gaara would want to keep him calm. If he was about to know you are going away while he is not here, he would be more anxious… than usual."

"But why would he be anxious? I am coming back anyway."

"Look… My brother… He is a bit different towards you." Temari sighed. "I think communicating with you has pulled another side of him out. He looks deeply attached to you."

"What's the other side?" Tenten frowned.

"He is somehow…" She thought a bit longer as if to find the most suitable adjective. "...kinder."

"Kinder?"

"Yes, he is definitely kinder. He used to be way sharper, his behaviour was tougher, if I may express this way." Temari smiled. "But I think you are supposed to know your presence really has an impact on him. I see it as a positive thing. You are important to him."

Tenten nodded slowly thinking carefully over each word she just heard. There was a logical reason for him to feel her close, she also did. She was convinced it was because of the intimate, personal information they shared through the three questions… Anyway there was a great amount of information she just didn't have a way to know about. That was because of the limited time she spent with him… It was not enough to cover… well everything.

"But why would this make him anxious?" Tenten insisted.

"If the mission is overly hard and risky, he becomes… peculiar before it. Uneasy… If that's the case with his next mission, you will see for yourself."

"My presence or absence shouldn't be affecting him. He is a shinobi and during a mission he is supposed to think of the mission."

"We are all shinobis, Tenten… But we are merely humans. Emotions are inherent in humans that interfere with the shinobi's sober judgement." Tenten reluctantly nodded. "But if you are able to eliminate even one factor of my brother's anxiety and this way increase his chances to come home, I beg you to do it."

The brown-haired kunoichi continued walking in silence. There was suspicion growing in her mind that Kankuro had started to develop deep feelings towards her for real. If that was the case, it would be more than normal he would feel anxiety - that was just a normal human feeling. If he knew she was safe in Suna, protected by Gaara, the Kazekage, there shouldn't be any uneasiness about her and he would be able to focus on his mission better.

"I think I understand." Tenten sighed and Temari nodded. "What kind of plans do you have today? Will you have time to talk about the kids?"

"I do have rehabilitation." She smiled slightly. "We could talk when I am done in the hospital. I will come to the school since you have classes today, right?"

"Yes, I do. But will you have time after I am done with the classes?"

"I have… plans with Shikamaru." Temari's cheeks flushed just a bit, causing Tenten to laugh. "Don't laugh at me, girl."

"I just thought you are not bothered by…"

"I am not bothered." Temari turned to her and smiled. "It is just that he turned out to be incredibly creative…"

"Oh…" Tenten laughed again. "I wouldn't think so, knowing him. I would think he would be too lazy to move more than the required minimum…"

"Exactly. I thought I would be the one with most of the ideas and experience. You have no idea how wrong I was."

Tenten shook her head in disbelief.

"Please do not educate me about those topics… I won't be able to look at him…"

Temari smiled. It was hard even for her to look at him after the first night they had sex for first time. She still couldn't accept the idea of him being that sexual, creative and skilled, so her surprise was more than great. But… she couldn't say she was disappointed in any way.

When Tenten came back to their room after the classes, Kankuro carefully examined his Karasu puppet. He was repairing one of the head mechanisms with tense expression.

"Hey," she said quietly, closing the door behind herself.

"Hey," he replied without moving his gaze from the puppet.

She didn't say anything more. She thought it was a good idea to just take a shower and leave him work, postponing the talks for later on. When she entered the bathroom and attempted to close the door, Kankuro said something she failed to hear. Taking a few steps back, she raised her eyebrows.

"Could you repeat?"

"Please, lock the door." He repeated calmly.

"Erm… Why?"

"My self control is really weak today." He smiled slightly and turned to his puppet yet again.

Tenten stood there and looked at him for a bit, but she finally decided the moment for questions was not now. His reason was simple and honest enough. She didn't intend to contest it. Especially since his request didn't require much of an effort. She just entered the bathroom and locked the door.

When she was ready, she got dressed for dinner. Kankuro was still working over his puppet's head, still a tense expression on his face.

"Are you having dinner tonight?" She asked.

"Yes." He looked at her. "But I still have some work to do on that thing." He sighed but got up on his feet, unsummoning the puppet, sealing the scroll.

"Could I help somehow?"

"Actually you may be able to. We can go to a free training ground after dinner. I want you to try to break my Sanshuo's right weak point mechanism. I need to know its extent of reliability."

"All right. I will do what I can."

"Thank you." He smiled and even though he hesitated for a second, he still leaned and kissed her forehead. Tenten blushed and turned away. She couldn't get used to his sudden little gestures of tenderness.

The man opened the door before her and waited for her to exit. Then closed it and caught up with her. The following conversation was all about the weak point of Sanshuo. Even during dinner he was talking mostly about missions as if his mind could not accept any side information at the moment. Tenten realised fully why Gaara wanted her to stay quiet about her Konoha visit and what was the meaning of Temari's explanation about him being "peculiar".

"When you depart tomorrow I want you to be extremely careful." The Kazekage said. "If anything indicates they have sensed you in any way, just flee and come back. In no case you should fight them. Do you get that?"

Kankuro nodded, a serious expression on his face. And he didn't say anything more. The tension was so thick, Tenten thought she would be able to touch it. Then she glanced at Temari with something resembling despair. For this short period of time she was close to him, he was always determined, mostly calm and often it looked like he accepted everything for a joke somehow. She understood now that it was something like his self-defence mechanism. But really, usually he was ready to smile and make a joke. Right now he looked like a different person she didn't know anything about.

Temari just shook her head and said nothing.

When they were done dining, Kankuro got up and nodded to Tenten, urging her to go with him.

"We need to test Sanshuo tonight." He simply said and with no further details and without looking back, he headed down the exit.

Tenten pursed her lips and got up as well. She wished everyone good night and followed Kankuro out. She picked her pace up in order to catch up with him. When she reached him, she slowed down and walked with his pace.

She felt a really strong urge to grab his hand but she was uncertain how he would react right now. She glanced at him - his facial expression was blank, nothing could be read over it. Her heart ached really painfully… Without realising what she was doing she put a hand over her chest.

"What is wrong?" Kankuro stopped suddenly and turned to her.

Tenten turned away. She couldn't bring herself to answer right away. He stepped forward and lifted her chin so she would look at him.

"Tell me." His expression softened and a worry appeared in his eyes. "Please."

"I have never seen you like… this… before. I don't know how I can approach you."

He released her chin and smiled apologetically.

"I am sorry. I have a really dangerous and important mission starting tomorrow. So I am trying to imagine every possible situation and options for reaction. I am trying to mentally prepare. I worry before the mission starts so I could stay calm while it lasts."

Tenten nodded shortly - that was his way of being shinobi.

"You look really disturbed."

"Because I am disturbed." She frowned. "I am just… looking at you… And I am not sure how well I know you."

Kankuro smiled warmly.

"Tenten, I can assure you that you are in possession of the greatest amount of personal and intimate information about me."

"But I had no idea you looked like that before dangerous missions… And obviously Gaara and Temari know that." She smiled just a bit and Kankuro relaxed his arms beside his body. "This is a result of being together with them for so many years. This is not something we could accomplish right now."

Surprisingly he reached out and hugged her. He pulled her to him and closely pressed her to his chest.

"Have some patience. Time is something we bring with ourselves."

She turned to face him and in a casual gesture of tenderness, she rubbed her nose on his collarbone. Then she laid her cheek on his chest and closed her eyes. She breatheаd deeply into his scent as she was trying to remember it. She slowly raised her awareness that this could be one of their last hugs… ever… And she couldn't swallow her incoming tears right away - a little betrayal drop ran down her cheek, reflecting the moon's rays and silvering her side.

Kankuro shut his eyes. He felt his heart threatening to tear apart in front of this image - the creature, he came to feel so dear, crying in his arms. He couldn't possibly lie to her. Actually there is no sense in saying a thing. It was enough to just hold her close and hope from the bottom of his heart that this is not going to be the last time…

Tenten succeeded in damaging the new side mechanism of Sanshuo and now Kankuro was repairing it in another way on the nursery's room floor. Tenten was sitting on the opposite side of the room on her heels and was silent. She was watching his dexterous movements and the tense expression on his face. He didn't look at her even once while he was working.

Around midnight he sighed pleasingly and rolled up his scroll. He carefully put it where the others were. He stretched his body and then he turned to Tenten.

"You really didn't have to stay up and wait for me. You could have gone to sleep."

"No, I didn't have to stay up." She nodded, a slight smile on her lips. "But I wanted to wait for you."

"I really think you would miss me a lot if I don't come back." He laughed sincerely and she nodded.

"That's about right." She agreed. "Now it is time for my first question - would you miss me if I am gone?"

His facial expression changed to serious, his warm dark brown eyes gazed in hers with unhidden tenderness.

"I would miss you painfully." He confessed and reached out to caress her face.

His fingers slid down her shoulder and her arm until they reached her hand. He took her hand carefully and led her out of the nursery into the darkness of the bedroom. When he got to the bed, he sat down and pulled her into his lap. Tenten let herself sit and snuggled against his body, seeking his warmth. His heart was beating fast and strong. She lifted her hand and put it on his chest, just above his heart.

"You know…" he whispered. "When I was coming to Konoha, knowing I will get married, I couldn't have imagined it would be you. I couldn't have imagined there would be a moment, soon enough, that I wouldn't be able to accept my life in any other way… Can you imagine yourself back in Konoha again? To live your life just the way you did before? As if you have never been here, with me?"

Tenten pulled back a bit so she could look into his eyes - there she could see everything - there was sadness, there was fear, there was tenderness, there was even anger. She could see another feeling as well, though she feared to give it name since there was a chance she was mistaken.

"That's my first question…" he whispered again. "And I really would like an answer…"

"No…" She shook her head.

"You don't want to answer it?" He raised his eyebrows.

"No…" she smiled weakly. "I can't imagine my life, can't imagine living the same life as before I met you."

He released a quiet sight filled with relief.

"If I come back from this mission-" He started to talk, but she interrupted him.

"When you come back from this mission." She said firmly but he shook his head.

"If I come back… I would like to show you my real home."

"Another room on another floor?" She smiled.

"Nope." He also smiled. "I haven't lived in the Kazekage's home for some time now."

"Then why are we here?"

"Because my home is my castle. I haven't let anyone in but my siblings. There was no way for me to let an unfamiliar person in there."

"You mean me…"

"You were just an unfamiliar person."

"You are right. I still am to some extent."

"I know you well enough to think of you as a familiar person." He rolled his eyes to emphasise his words.

"Kankuro, that… That you want to show me your real home… Does that mean you have made a decision and have figured out your feelings towards me?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I want you to stay with me. I believe… I think I have started to fall really deeply in love with you."

Tenten froze and her face started to flush. She couldn't bring herself to say anything. She wanted to scream with joy and hide ashamed at the same time.

"What do you think… about that?" He asked but he looked like he already knew the answer.

"I think I will give you my answer when you come back from that mission. Then you will have one more reason to do everything in your power and get here alive."

There was a crafty little smile on the tips of his lips.

"Sounds fair."

He traced her face with his warm gaze, stopping on her lips.

"Can I kiss you now?" he asked quietly.

"Nope." She shook her head and just for a brief moment she enjoyed his confusion. "This time I am going to kiss you."

Before the smile could blossom on his lips, she leaned to him and hesitantly touched them, so lightly, just like a butterfly's wings. She placed her palm on his cheek, trying to be a bit bolder. She remembered one of his kisses and tried to recreate it - she traced his lips carefully all over and then gently bit his bottom lip, feeling his smile under her own lips. She felt irrational fear from her boldness and pulled back.

"Don't hold back, don't be ashamed," he whispered. "There was nothing up until now you did and I didn't like."

She shuffled off his lap and while feeling empowered by his words, she straddled his thighs and slid ahead until her body was closely pressed to his. Tenten took full advantage of his surprise, placing both her palms on his side, lifting his face to hers. Her lips yet again were seeking his. But this time she was confident enough to join her tongue in. His low growl of approval was that little something, making her even more relaxed.

His hands roamed over her back, causing her to shiver.

She stopped, placed a hand on his chest and pushed him backwards. She had already decided what she would do next… Kankuro realised just now what was going to happen and reacted right away - he grabbed her hands while they were approaching his zipper. He shook his head and pulled her to lay atop of him. There was something else - he fully remembered what kind of conditions she held in order to have sex with a man. What she just attempted to do was equivalent to a confession that she already loved him. The following emotion was so sudden and so strong, he almost choked.

"I can't let you do that…" he whispered quietly, his voice trembling. "Not now…" He gently caressed her hair.

She looked up at him with painful confusion in her eyes.

"Why…?" He could sense her disappointment and pain in that single word.

"Call it egoism." He smiled slightly and with a lot of tenderness. "There is no way I can forgive myself if you give yourself in to me and I never come back to you."

She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at his face.

"You are coming back." She said as there was no other option.

"Your faith in me is touching," he said sincerely. "But there is no way we can be sure about it. Let's be realistic and look at the non pleasant options as well."

"If we do… And we accept that you are not coming back… Then I would have missed my only chance to be with you in that particular way."

"This is true." He nodded. "But it is not so important according to me. Because you are here with me now. The whole you - your heart, soul and mind are the things I desire even more than your body. And you are giving them to me now, which I find way more precious."

She looked in his eyes, really deep as if she could see his soul, and all she could find there was sincerity. He believed fully in what he was saying. Imperceptibly there was a smile on her lips. Just now she realised he had overcome the pure physical side of his attraction to her. That really meant his feelings were already deeper.

"If you happen to come back… There is no way you are going to sneak out of sex so easily." She said quietly and laid down on his chest.

"If I come back… You would wish you never said this." He laughed. "Don't worry, you will be able to try all your twisted ideas on me. I am already yours…"

She lifted up and tenderly kissed his lips. Then rolled on the bed and crawled up to the pillows. Kankuro followed her and wrapped her in a tight hug. He had no intention of letting her out of his arms this night… They both knew it could be for the last time…

Tenten was heading to the Suna's gates together with Shikamaru and Temari. The sun was still hidden behind the hills. The shadows were still long, pale and somehow sad, just like herself. She was looking ahead, but barely saw anything. Her mind was troubled and filled with terrifying images that could technically be true. The last two nights, after Kankuro has left, were filled with nightmares. She just didn't want to fall asleep…

"Hey…" Temari carefully touched her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Tenten you should have some trust in his abilities. He will come back."

Tenten looked at her and forced herself to smile.

Temari had realised her brother was really in love. On their last training session together, just before he left, she had spoken with him. She had forced him to confess about it, even not with the exact words. But he didn't have to use those words actually, since she knew him really well, since they were children. She needed less than half a word to just understand…

When she went to send him off in the morning of his mission start, she witnessed something that made her heart warm and ache at the same time. When she was close enough, she saw her brother holding Tenten tightly and whispering something to her. The girl had snuggled against him. Temari hid right away, feeling uncomfortable to interrupt them. In a minute or so Kankuro had leaned and kissed her forehead gently. Tenten on the other side had lifted on her toes and kissed him back passionately, wrapping her arms around his neck. When the kiss was over, the girl stepped back looking straight into his eyes, with tears in hers. She turned away and headed to Suna. She never turned to look back… Kankuro had stood there, looking after her until he couldn't see her anymore.

Temari carefully approached him in the meantime, but didn't say a thing.

"Temari…" He had said. "Please, look after her as much as you can…" He had pleaded.

"So you finally found something you can value properly?"

"Yep… Who would have guessed it is actually your fault?" he had smiled.

Now Temari looked at Tenten and she could tell the other woman looked like a wrack.

"I trust in his abilities." She whispered. "But I can't know the abilities of the shinobies he is after. That's why there is no way to know how dangerous this mission really is."

Temari didn't say anything. What Tenten said was completely true. Exactly because no one knew the abilities of the other shinobies… That's why the risk was unknown.

Tenten turned back to look at Suna for one last time before the village hid behind the trees. Then she looked just ahead, where Konoha was waiting for her…