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Translation editor - Pink Shirt
Thank you! /bow

Side Effect

Kankuro was following all the medical instructions to recover himself as fast as possible. He wanted to start the procedures quickly enough and that required him being healthy.

As much as he had understood, Hinata would do the first one to let him take his time. Kankuro had spoken to her to express his honest gratitude for her sacrifice. Hinata had told him that she loved Tenten very much and she would have done even more for her if they had only let her. She had no idea how everything had started, she thought Kankuro loved her friend even before their marriage.

Now in the hospital's hallway Kankuro was sitting on the bench waiting for the first procedure to complete. He was hoping that Tenten would get better, even slightly, was better than nothing at this stage.

Tsunade came out 30 minutes later looking really exhausted. She looked at him and gave him permission to go in with a nod nodding to come in. He didn't hesitate and stood up immediately. He passed by Godaime nodding slightly and entered the room.

Hinata was lying next to Tenten on a bed, specially placed there for the procedure. Kankuro could imagine why there was a bed needed - even if he dared to guess the piercing pain lasted just a few minutes, the following exhaustion was too much to bear standing. Hinata was looking really drained at the moment. She sat in on the bed and caughted few red drops perfectly visible on her white handkerchief.

"Hinata-sama…" he whispered, his hands helplessly relaxing near his body. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she nodded and smiled slightly. "Those procedures really can drain out the body in just a few minutes," she added with a serious expression.

"I am going to handle this from now on," he firmly said.

"I have no doubt about that," she smiled.

The panting Naruto, who had been obviously running up until now, came into the room. He passed by Kankuro and stopped dead in his tracks next to Tenten's bed. His expressive face was showing exactly how sad he was. Then he lifted his eyes to look up at Hinata, smiling gently:

"Are you all right?" She only nodded. Kankuro noticed the delicate way she turned her handkerchief and hid the red droplets from the blond man.

Naruto turned to Kankuto. Approaching carefully he placed his hand on the man's shoulder.

"I am really sorry," he said sincerely.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault," Kankuro smiled slightly.

"If I can do something, anything for her…"

"There is nothing you can do," Kankuro shrugged, his eyes finding their way to Tenten's pale face. "Tsunade-sama told me she tested you and your compatibility is the lowest."

"Yes, with the big amount of chakra you have it would be nice to be able to help her." Hinata added. "But I was there…your chakra flow was broken, which means that there isn't really anything that can be transferred to Tenten and also you can get hurt as well in the process."

Naruto looked at her, smiling tenderly, making her blush.

Kankuro inwardly noted the change in their relations, but he didn't have the desire nor the power to think about them right now.

Kankuro sighed and turned on the side of his bed.

The spots that he had wounded some time ago had started to tremble painfully after only one procedure.

Less than an hour ago was the second one and the place on his back where his last serious wound was, had started to hurt immensely. According to Tsunade this was a normal body reaction so she didn't really pay attention to that one. That was actually good. If Gaara received information the side effects were not as worrying, he would give permission to go on with the procedures.

Kankuro shifted again, unable to find a comfortable position in the bed. He felt his whole body sore. In an hour Tsunade was going to pay him a visit and interrogate him about how he felt and if he had noticed something potentially worrying.

The man sat in his bed, placed his feet on the floor and got up. He felt way better when none of his body parts were touching anything solid. He walked around the room until he finally stood in front of the window. He looked at the distance and barelysuppressed the first wave of panic rushing over him - for just a spare moment the whole image in front of his eyes blurred beyond recognition before it became clear again. He did not see that one coming… He leaned on the window's frame and tried the same exercise again a few times but the image remained clear. Kankuro decided that this was something he wasn't going to mention to anyone at least for now and especially if it didn't repeat anymore. He had a very bad feeling it was not only going to repeat itself, but it was going to get worse…

Tenten had responded very well to the procedures and had managed to come to consciousness a few times. On the other hand, Kankuro was so extremely exhausted he wasn't able to move for several hours after each chakra transfer. But there was only one procedure left and he was determined to stand up until the end, no matter the consequences. Tenten was going to get well… What would happen to him, was another matter. It cost him a lot to cover up for the side effects. The only thing he allowed himself to say out loud was about the unbearable muscle pain - and he received painkillers, frequent hot baths and massages, which seemed to help quite a bit. But none of those things seemed to help with his main problem - he was losing his eyesight. The images before his eyes were not only blurred most of the time, they were also getting darker. At this point there wasn't anybody that knew. And soon enough he would have to behave like a normal shinobi which would lead to telling the truth…

A quiet knock on the door took him out of his thoughts.

"Come in," he said loud enough to be heard through the door.

With a slight smile and a moderately worried expression on her face, Temari entered the room. He sensed her - her aura, her chakra signature, her height and her colors - everything was pointing out to her.

"Temari," he smiled but immediately after that he had to lean back and close his eyes. He could not differentiate images anymore.

"Kankuro we have to talk seriously!" her voice was firm. Kankuro heard her sitting on the wooden chair next to his bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" He tried his best to stay calm.

"I've spoken to Tsunade-sama. She told me that it was very weird that you lack any other side effects besides muscle pains.

"I know this, maybe it's just…"

"Kankuro! I know you are hiding the side effects," she interrupted him quietly.

He sighed and sat up, looking stubbornly in his lap. Temari had discovered what was going on, she knew him well and could sense he was hiding something. She was worried…

"There is just one procedure left…" Kankuro said.

"One procedure could kill you, do you get that?" she hissed. "Tenten is a precious friend of mine, but… Kankuro, you are my beloved brother. I can't possibly let you self-destruct while lying to all the people who hold you dear."

He shook his head, refusing to join the conversation.

"I am not going to let you lay low, got it?" Temari approached him dragging the chair with her. "Tell me what the side effects are, Kankuro! I can't nor I want to look at you insisting to devastate yourself or even suicide…!"

"I have never wanted you to sit around and watch me self-destruct…" he whispered.

"You can be a big jackass, my dear elder brother… It doesn't matter if you keep your secret or not…if you tell me or not…if you chase me away or not, I am going to stick by your side, holding your stupid hand! I am your sister, I love you…"

He chuckled and finally turned his face to her - a little bloody tear overflowed in his right eye and went down his cheek. Temari flinched while taking a sharp breath and reached out to wipe the drop out.

"When this first appeared.." she asked, her voice trembling.

"They appeared after the third procedure." He said calmly.

"What is the side effect exactly?"

"My eyesight is worsening. It is getting kind of fading out. I see a collection of blurred images with paler but darker colours. After the fourth procedure the image had never become clear again." Kankuro's smile was filled with sadness. "I think I am getting blind, Temari…"

"You should tell to…"

"I can't!" he interrupted her. "I must finish the procedures."

"Kankuro…" His sister started to talk slowly, dragging his attention to what she was saying. It was important for him to hear her out. "Think this through very carefully. Tenten is going to blame herself for a lifetime if you get blind to save her. Hear me out, I am a woman and I am a shinobi… If Shikamaru and myself were in your shoes, I was not going to forgive myself for such a thing, do you understand me?"

He was silent - it was obvious this point of view was something new to him.

"Talk with Tenten. It was about her, she also should have a saying in it." Temari placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned forward to touch his forehead with hers. "Please… Listen to me."

He nodded shortly.

"I am not going to let a word out," she assured him. "But I beg you, do not put us all, the people who love you, in such a useless situation."

The woman kissed lightly his cheek and headed to the exit while wiping her own tears away.

Kankuro gave it a second thought as he promised his sister. She was right and he knew it. He sighed quietly and got up off the bed pulling out all his strength to do so. He intended to check if Tenten was awake and tell her what was going on… He was sure she would refuse the last procedure so he had to convince her not to somehow…

Kankuro knocked on Tenten's door and patiently waited for an answer. His heart skipped a beat when he actually heard her voice saying "come in". He opened the door and there she was - standing in front of the window. The man saw her shape shifting to him and he clearly heard her surprised gasp when she saw him.

"Hey…" he said quietly and slightly smiled at her.

She didn't answer… Maybe she had smiled, maybe she had frowned… He couldn't tell and that made him really sad, causing his stomach to clench in a painful ball.

"Kankuro…" she whispered in a few moments and rushed towards him.

Before he fully realised what was going on, her hands were tightly wrapped around his neck and her body was pressed against his. A very emotional cry was causing her shoulders to shake. She was rubbing tenderly her face on his collarbones.

"Hey…" He also wrapped his arms around her body and placed his cheek on her head.

"They wouldn't let me come see you," she kept whispering. "I wanted to come days ago… I was told you need a lot of rest and it would be better if I stay away…" Tenten was sobbing more and more, incapable of holding up the emotional explosion gathering power inside of her.

Kankuro stroked her hair. He was told the very same. He had wanted to go see her the moment he knew she was awake, but he was told to let her rest instead. But now he had to see her… And he still couldn't believe he held her in his arms.

His hand stroked the tips of her recently cut hair, which was barely touching her shoulders. It was still as soft as he remembered it. The woman chuckled through her tears.

"It is not really pretty now, is it?" Her tone was almost cheerful.

"On the contrary, it is very pretty," he denied. "It is attached to the very alive you, there is no prettier hair," he whispered, burrowing his fingers within the soft locks and pressing her even closer to him.

Both of them needed time to believe the other one was alive and they were actually together right then. Their senses didn't need that time, it was needed by their minds - those shinobi minds that were replaying tragedies over and over and were showing them all the scenarios when something could go wrong. And when their minds finally believed they were next to each other, that they could make body contact, they pulled away. Tenten's face was happily glowing, her hazel eyes were examining his face when she gasped in surprise yet again.

Kankuro wiped away his bloody tear from his cheek and sadly smiled.

"We really need to talk," he whispered and she clenched to his arm.

"Kankuro, what is going on?" her tone was quiet yet serious.

"Come, let's have a seat…" The man headed to the bed, went around it and sat on its edge with his back to the door, facing the window. "Sit beside me."

Tenten compiled and he stretched an arm on her shoulders, hugging her.

"Do you remember what happened there… in the forest?" He started from afar.

"I remember I was attacked and I was trying to defend. So I did until I couldn't keep them away anymore."

He nodded and attempted to ask something more, but she stopped him, placing a hand on his knee. She was begging him to not ask anything.

"Tsunade-sama told me you have carried me here. That you and Tasura had run for about a day and a half without any rest, so you could be here on time… to save me…" she turned her head to him and touched his shoulder with her forehead. "Thank you."

He wasn't able to answer so he just kissed the top of her head.

"I also know what had happened after you brought me here," she continued to talk even so quietly. "I know I needed a chakra donor in order to survive. They explained to me how exhausting the procedures were and that they give out really harsh side effects." He could feel the weight of her gaze. "I spoke with Hinata yesterday and got her to talk and describe for me the way she felt during and after the procedure. And even though she wasn't really willing to share all of this in the beginning, I still know now her body handled the chakra transfer terribly. All of that information led me to the conclusion you must feel devastated after not one, but several transfers."

He said nothing…

"I do know you, Kankuro… Even when we were travelling to Suna… I do know from personal experience you don't hesitate to overlook yourself for the sake of someone else." She was silent for a few seconds to underline her words. "What I think you don't understand is, you hurt the people around you this way…"

Kankuro squeezed his eyes for a brief moment and quietly sighed. Tenten kept on talking…

"You have no idea how grateful I am for all you do… But as you risk your life…"

"Tenten… I would not be able to cope with the thought that I could have done something and I didn't. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. Call it selfishness …"

He sensed her gaze and right after it - her fingers on his cheek.

"You are a lot of things, Kankuro. Being selfish is not amongst them." She pulled herself up and gently touched his lips with hers. "I am not letting you do any more procedures." She was whispering but her words came out extremely nonobjectional.

"But…" he attempted to protest but a new touch over his lips left him silent.

"My life is out of danger. One procedure less would only make my recovery slower, which I don't really see as a big deal."

"Tenten, I…" she used a kiss again in order to keep him mute.

"I want you to talk with Tsunade-sama and tell her in detail all of your side effects and to not hide anything. If she knows what is going on, she may be able to help you out. Gaara should also be notified, you know…"

Kankuro sighted and nodded.

"Would you tell me… about those bloody tears?" she asked carefully and he couldn't say no.

And he told her… He told her about the way the world looked, about the shapes, the colours… the darkness. He told her about how sharpened his other senses had become to compensate for the lack of normal eyesight. Tenten was just sitting, cuddled in his body and was listening carefully. Sometimes she would ask a question, but mainly she was just listening.

"Other than the muscle pain and the worsening eyesight, is there something else?" she asked, yet so carefully. And since he kept his silence, she decided to share with him what exactly was worrying her. "Tsunade-sama had told me she had observed lung destruction a few times as a side effect of this… So I am asking you - do you get short of breath, is the air enough for your normal breathing?

"I don't think this exact problem is something that is coming over me. My breathing is as normal as ever…"

Tenten sighed with relief. He was hesitating if he should share his other problem he noticed after the previous procedure. He knew he would have to let her know if this condition continues longer or if it became permanent. That would prevent him to perform his purely manly part in one full intimate sexual relationship, after all…

"Three questions?" she asked suddenly, he flinched and chuckled.

"Three questions," he confirmed.

"Are you still going to take me to your real home?" she whispered.

"Only if you would still like to come along," he replied and felt her nodding with her cheek still pressed against his chest.

"If the side effects persist and my condition doesn't change… Wouldn't it be better if you consider finding another man who…

His head suddenly bounced backwards… Tenten had stood up on her feet and had slapped his face hard. He felt the distinctive burning on his cheek.

"Don't you even dare finish this sentence!" she threatened. "I won't think twice to take advantage of the situation and kick your ass."

"I have already advised you once you shouldn't do that ever again…"

He was suddenly on his feet, moving smoothly. He grabbed her, turned around and pressed her against the wall so she wasn't able to move. He held her wrists within one hand, pinning them above her head. His other arm was holding her shoulders and rib cage still. One of his legs was blocking her legs around the knees, so he would prevent her from kicking him.

"What I am saying may not be something you like. I still insist on you hearing me out."

He couldn't see her face well enough but he felt her tears wetting his forearm. He couldn't afford to soften right now…

"I understand that you don't want to think so far into the future. I also want everything to be alright and those side effects to just fade away. However, there is a chance I would be almost blind. I won't be able to execute my shinobi duties well enough. Maybe I will succeed in adapting. But if I don't, there is no way I'm pulling you down with me! Do you understand this?" He heard her a quiet, muffled "Yes". "I want you to think about this. I want you to know that I will free you from myself to let you go back to Konoha to have the most normal and happy life you deserve." She was trying to wallow her sobs down, but couldn't really do it.

"I know it's difficult for you to imagine this right now, but it's possible. So now I'm asking you- will you consider finding someone else who will make you happy, if i don't recover? A simple "No"came from her lips, he nodded his head. He wouldn't give up persuading her. He would even ask Gaara to send him somewhere far far away, where he would be dead for the rest of the world if needed.

"There is a condition if you want me to consider this option." She whispered and he raised his eyebrows looking at her questioningly.

"If Tsunade-sama categorically says that your condition will be permanent, then I promise you I will think about finding someone else."

"Seems fair."Kankuro nodded.

"Would you let me take care of you?"- she asked using her second question.

"I will." He confirmed.

"Is having children important to you?" suddenly he asked, releasing her carefully from his grasp.

"What do you mean?" she frowned.

"You know what I mean… Is becoming a mother something you hold dear?"

"Well, honestly I haven't thought about it much. It's not my child's dream. For me, having children always seemed like an obligation instead of a desire or a craving." She shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed. "I know that this type of answer can disappoint you or make you look at me differently, but I'm honest."

"I also consider having a child an obligation, especially since I am the oldest son of Kazekage... It was clear to me my marriage will be surely arranged with the main purpose of having an heir," he laughed.

"Well, you are partly correct, anyway - your marriage is arranged," she laughed too.

"But it had a different goal." He shrugged.

"The purpose was yet again to serve someone else." Her smile changed a bit, though he didn't see the change. "In the end the result may be the same…"

He didn't dare to answer that…

"Why all of a sudden you started talking about children anyway?" she asked.

"Because I have something to tell you on that occasion/matter."

"And what's that?" Tenten slightly tilted her head, her voice was tensing a bit.

"As well as the worsening eyesight i noticed i lack sex drive." Tenten did not respond so he sighed and decided to be blunt.

"Tenten, for now its phisiologically impossible for me to have sex. I don't know whether this is something reversible or not. But this is another reason for you to consider a new relationship with someone that can give you a child. Because there is a possibility I can not."

Tenten stood still. Her eyes were all over Kankuro's face trying to suppress any possible wild reaction. It was very important to react as calmly as possible towards this problem. She took a deep breath, slowly and quietly.

"I think it's too early to worry about this." she answered calmly. "But I will insist once again to you talk to Tsunade and to tell her everything. I beg you!"