Severus POV
I feel the wind hit my face and my body, an emptiness settles in my stomach, it's like I'm flying but I know I'm falling, I remember perfectly stepping off the edge. I open my eyes and look down, no one cares that I'm falling. I can see them, they are going on with their lives like this is nothing. Nobody cried, nobody even noticed. It's like I'm already a ghost, as if I didn't existed. Kinda thought they might care, I guess I've never mattered much, I knew they wouldn't cry for me, I don't deserve it.
They've called me weak and if I'm completely honest I know I am, a complete waste. I don't want to let anyone else down so I'd rather let it all go. I keep falling and I don't want to stop, without me they'll all be better off. From one moment to the next I don't feel the wind anymore but water, an ocean surrounds me and the emptiness of my stomach vanishes leaving a terrible weight in its place, the pressure sinks me, I try to scream but my head was underwater, nothing comes out and my throat soon it's being filled with the water. What can I do? My lungs start to burn, I feel the oxygen leaving my body, I want to fly again, the water is too dense and I can't move, my eyes fill with tears and I hope it will all end soon but...
Arms hold me tight, I shake in terror. I don't want to be trapped, I need to break free, I scream and this time I hear my voice. Someone calls my name over and over, it sounds familiar but I can't remember who it is, a bottle is pressed against my lips and for a moment I don't know what to do, the voice begs me to drink the contents and I do. I hate the feeling of being filled with water again but it seems vaguely familiar, I swallow and I know I've drunk it before but I don't have the mind to think what it is. Everything goes dark again, my body feels heavy but it's different this time it's not the pressure of the water but soft darkness protecting me. I open my eyes one more time.
I don't know how long I spent in the darkness but slowly everything starts to take shape, the memories come back to me and I feel a body next to mine. I'm not falling anymore, I'm not drowning anymore, now that's just a memory. I look in front of me and see those brown eyes full of concern for me. I feel his hand take mine and kiss it, he shouldn't, someone as useless as me doesn't deserve that attention, but even against what I believe I can't help but smile a little as I feel his loving gaze. How I wish it was directed at anyone else, I'm too damaged and I can't be what he needs, I don't know why he tries so hard if in the end I'm not worth it, it's a waste as long as it's for someone like me.
He kisses my forehead and whispers, "As long as I'm here no one can hurt you". I want to believe him, I know it's delusional but I want it even though I don't deserve it, that's my weakness.
