~Hunter's POV~
I would admit that Sunday was a bad day. Doing all that flying, plus the ceremony for Jay and Liz. Treyden and I were glad to be able to lay down and sleep that night. Monday wasn't horrible as I got to see everyone after a good night's sleep; spent most of the day showing my family and friends photos and videos from the last ten months in Iraq, then Treyden and I gave a few stories of the busy and slow days. No, Monday was all right, and I loved being able to hold Audrey all day except for when we separated for bathroom breaks or eating lunch. Tuesday was Jay's funeral, and that was harder than I anticipated. Treyden and I arrived in our formals, Striker One did too. We sat through the readings about Jay's life and then Treyden, Theo, Andrew, and I ended up folding the flag and giving it to Jay's mother.
Following the flag folding was Conner, Nikolas, Amanda, Danielle, and Amber doing the three-gun volley in Jay's memory. When the ceremony was over, we went to the after party for an hour or so then Treyden, and I returned to my house where we shared some time consoling one another over the loss. It was understandable now why Harry wanted to give us the mourning period because having to attend the funerals of your fallen friends was harder than just knowing they died and were getting sent home to be buried. Watching the burial made things a considerably harder to cope, more so because we didn't have the war to distract us.
After losing a friend in battle, the company would come together to pay tribute then give us the night to get our heads in order. Following the next day would be back to work, and that kept us from thinking about how hard the family was taking things, or that we didn't have to attend the services and funerals. With Jay and Liz, we didn't have that distraction because we came home from Jay's and sat in silence a few minutes until we couldn't fight back how much it hurt to say goodbye. Wednesday and Thursday were spent trying to prepare for Liz's funeral on Friday. On Thursday, Treyden decided to stay with Theo and Andrew for a few days so I wouldn't have to put him up the entire time we were on leave. I didn't mind honestly, Treyden was my best friend, and he always had a place with me.
The funeral was at 9:30 am, lasted a good thirty minutes to say some words then go through the motions of folding the flag and doing the gun salute in Elizabeth's memory. By 10 am, we were at the after party, but I only stayed until 10:45 before decided to go home. Arriving at home, I noticed the house was empty. Mom was working; Dad had taken the recently made shopping list, so I assume he was out doing that. I knew Caitlyn was with Audrey and the rest of my friends for a few hours. I guess that means I'm home alone for a bit. I sat quietly in my room for ten minutes before grabbing my laptop and hooking up to the big screen.
I started going through photos and videos of the last ten months in Iraq. In two more weeks, I would be going back for another eight months of the same. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just browsing and enjoying the memories with friends. I even found some stuff from Basic and AIT mixed in the folder. I hadn't been watching the time while I just started putting on videos, sitting back to relax. I saw things of the platoon in the entertainment hall having a good time with playing music and doing karaoke. I watched my surprise birthday party all over again and got to see the times we were relaxing in the mess hall after an extended mission.
There were so many memories right in front of me of the last ten months, and it hurt to accept now that four of those people, my friends, had passed away and our little Hooligan family was smaller. Gods, I missed them. Video after video, I just watched while the time ticked away.
~Regular POV~
Hunter got found by Salvatore, Caitlyn, Audrey, and his friends when they came to the house after Sal came home from shopping. The time was 12:45 pm, the others had come over wondering if Hunter was there and sure enough, he was. However, they didn't expect for him not even to acknowledge when they had entered the room.
"Hunter?" Audrey tried but still no response, they trailed his line of sight to the TV and discovered that Hunter was watching videos of the Hooligan platoon together. The one he was looking at now was a night in the entertainment hall. All of them with a can of soda in hand, some food set out on a table off to the side and the soldiers were laughing, smiling, dancing and having fun then it showed them relaxing and everyone trying to get Hunter to agree to sing or so it appeared that way.
"Hey, hey! Easy man," Treyden put a hand on his shoulder. "We're all on the same side here. It was just a compliment. You do sing good, and if it weren't for you, then we never would have been able to do that dinner show. We got that mission at 2200; you're exceptional at riling everyone up,"
"And my singing is going to get everyone pumped up for an incredibly dangerous mission into enemy territory?" Hunter arched an unamused brow. The platoon nodded to him, even Trey, Theo, and Andrew. "Fine. You get one," he sighed heavily in defeat. The group cheered happily. "Are you picking something or should I just go with my stylings?"
"You write songs?" Elizabeth blinked in surprise.
"On occasion, yes," Hunter shrugged.
"We wanna hear one of yours!" the soldiers said in agreement.
"Of course you do," Hunter sighed as he got up and moved to the stage and hooked up his phone and started scrolling through his instrumentals. "This is one I made right after RJ passed away," the room fell quieter now, everyone remembered how much that death bothered Hunter. It would be interesting to hear the song Hunter made after that unfortunate event.
The others stayed quiet, curious themselves as well. The music on the video began, but Sal happened to notice that Hunter closed his eyes while sitting on the couch and moved closer so he could get a better look at his son's face and was a little surprised to see tear stains on his cheeks. Hunter took a small breath in and lowered his head a bit.
"Eighty-nine cents in the ashtray, half filled bottle of Gatorade rolling in the floorboard. That dirty Vikings hat on the dash, dog tags hanging from the rearview. Old Skoal can, and cowboy boots, and a go Army shirt folded in the back. This thing burns gas like crazy, but that's all right. People got their ways of coping, oh, and I got mine..." Hunter opened his eyes looking at the screen but never noticing them.
"I drive your truck! I roll every window down, and I burn up, every back road in this town. I find a field; I tear it up 'til all the pain's a cloud of dust. Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck," The others could see it being performed on the video but it didn't compare to Hunter singing it live.
"I leave that radio playing, the same old country station where ya left it. Yeah, man I crank it up. And you'd probably punch my arm right now, if you saw this tear rolling down my face," It was that moment that Salvatore watched a few more tears fall from Hunter's eyes. "Hey, man I'm trying to be tough. And Momma asked me this morning if I'd been by your grave, but that flag and stone ain't where I feel you anyway!"
One the video they noticed that Harry and a pretty large group was entering.
"What's going on?" Harry inquired.
"Ssh. Hunter is singing a song he wrote after RJ was KIA," Jay mentioned as the others found a spot quietly and watched.
Even in the video, Hunter kept his eyes closed the entire time.
"I drive your truck! I roll every window down, and I burn up, every back road in this town. I find a field; I tear it up 'til all the pain's a cloud of dust. Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck," There was a slight pause as Hunter took a deep breath. "I've cussed, I've prayed, I've said goodbye. Shook my fists and asked God why, these days when I'm missing you this much..." it trailed off slower as Hunter closed his eyes tightly and made a fist with his hand until it cracked, but his head remained lowered. Sal was able to see that Hunter was trying to keep it together.
"I drive your truck. I roll every window down, and I burn up," the music picked up, "every back road in this town! I find a field, I tear it up, 'till all the pain's a cloud of dust! Yeah, sometimes..." another short pause. "Brother sometimes, I drive your truck. Mmhm, I drive your truck. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, I drive your truck," The video seemed to stop after everyone started clapping and cheering for him. In the video, Hunter ended up smiling with a nod to them. However, with Hunter on the couch, that didn't happen.
Sal moved in front of Hunter and knelt down, then put a hand on his shoulder as Hunter's head snapped up to see his father looking at him sympathetically. Sal didn't need to ask what was wrong; he didn't even have to ask if Hunter was all right because he knew better. Hunter had to go to two funerals this week and trying to be strong, but pain like that wasn't something that could be held in. Hunter hadn't realized he was crying until he felt the tears still falling down his face. Sal seemed to give Hunter a reassuring look, one that told him; it's okay.
After that, Hunter let go what he'd been trying to hold in since Sunday. Salvatore saw Hunter's bottom lip start to quiver and then just pull Hunter into a tight, comforting hug. It was all Sal could think to do, just hold his son and let him cry. Hunter's crying was silent, but it could be seen in the slight shaking, the rest of them stayed quiet until the door opened and Caitlyn went to see who it was. It ended up being Treyden, Theo, and Andrew.
"Where's Hunt and why is it so quiet in here?" Theo asked. Caitlyn put a finger to her lips.
"Hunter's not handling the pain of losing friends well," Caitlyn whispered and had them follow her into the living room from the kitchen. Caitlyn pointed to Hunter on the couch; he had his face buried in his hands and Salvatore holding him. Treyden glanced at the TV and saw what Hunter had been watching then he elbowed Theo and Andrew to see the same thing.
"I told you he wasn't okay," Treyden muttered. "Hunter is my best friend, and I know when he isn't fine or trying to hide something,"
"You knew he was having trouble coping?" Audrey asked.
"We just noticed he wasn't at the party anymore. It ended about fifteen minutes ago, Striker One was saying goodbye to one another, and someone mentioned Hunter's truck was gone then someone else said that Hunter left at 10:45 am. Which was odd because the four of us were gonna go grab lunch," Andrew sighed. "It was Treyden's idea to come here and look for him,"
"And I was right to assume what I did," Treyden rolled his eyes as he moved to the couch and sat next to Hunter and put a hand on his back.
"We just got here about ten minutes ago ourselves. That means Hunter has been here by himself for almost two hours watching these videos," Caitlyn sighed sadly.
Treyden turned his attention to Hunter and started rubbing his back to try and calm him down. "It's okay, Hunt. No one expects you not to be upset," Treyden attempted.
"I-I should...have...che-checked to make sure everyone got out..." Hunter replied in a trembling voice. Nope, Treyden wasn't going to let Hunter do that to himself. Treyden lifted his hand and smacked Hunter right upside the back of his head which forced Hunter to pull away from his father and look at Treyden quickly. "Ow! What the hell, Trey,"
"I'm not going to let you sit here and blame yourself for what happened to Mason, RJ, Jay, or Liz. It's not your fault, Hunter," Treyden said sternly.
"I'm the platoon leader, it's my job to make sure my team stays together, and everyone gets out. It's...my job to keep everyone safe. I-I should have stayed...back and made sure everyone got through the smo-" Hunter was cut off by Treyden glaring at him.
"For the love of Thor, Hunter, shut up! Alright?! Yes, you're the platoon leader, but you know what else you are? Fucking human. You cannot have eyes on every single one of us, okay? One person cannot watch that many people at one time when things were that hectic. Understand me? That mission was hell. We got ambushed, we got pinned down being shot at from both above and ground level. IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT!" Treyden yelled at him.
"We all miss the people we've lost, we all feel that pain together. You're beating yourself up over something you couldn't control..." Theo offered.
"Mason and the guy he was fighting ended up outside area where we swept for bombs, he stepped on an IED and you know we couldn't have saved him. I'm sorry we couldn't get his body to bring home, it wasn't safe for us to go over there until we marked where bombs were to avoid them and even after we did that, there was no body to bring back. For RJ, again, you could only do so much, Hunter. You helped four others escape being killed by enemies; there just wasn't enough time to get to RJ before that guy shot him and had you been too close, you could have been shot too. Take some comfort in knowing that you killed that soldier and brought RJ home," Treyden reminded.
"With Liz, Hunter, it was an ambush. We all got taken by surprise and Liz was the first one to get killed when that happened, I know how hard it was to watch what happened, and there was nothing we could do to save her. Liz was dead within thirty seconds of being attacked, but at least we managed to bring her home too. And for Jay's death, you couldn't have known that he fell behind after we used smoke cover to get away. You heard the autopsy report, he sprained his ankle and couldn't run, so he tried to hide, defend himself even, but he still got killed," Treyden continued.
"Exactly, Hunter. You couldn't have known anyone was missing until you did a roll call on the chopper. As soon as you realized he was missing, you went after him. Don't you remember what you said to Trey when he tried to stop you by saying; the last time you entered a fight we escaped from you nearly got killed. You told Trey; We don't abandon our friends, and no one gets left behind. Now I'm the leader of this platoon, and whether Jay is alive or dead, I'm bringing him back with us," Andrew reminded.
"You did your job, Hunter. Maybe not everyone made it out alive, but you did your job by getting everyone you could to safety than going back out to get those who passed away or look for who fell behind. Nobody blames you for the losses we've dealt with, and if Andersen thought you were failing at your job, then he wouldn't let you stay platoon leader. Come on man; you got yourself shot in the side with a cracked rib and nearly buried alive just to save a little girl. You're an amazing friend and leader to all of us, Hunter and we're all proud to serve under your command and fight beside you. Now you knock off this blaming yourself shit, get your shoes on, grab your phone and wallet and come out to lunch with us," Treyden told him firmly.
"Save all that emotion for the enemies when we get back in two weeks because we're gonna light 'em up with everything we got," Andrew said putting his hand out.
"We'll show these bastards a thing or two together," Theo stated as he put his hand on Andrew's.
"That's right," Treyden grinned putting his hand out. "Remember who we are and let everyone know it. Come on, boss! Who the hell are we?..."
Hunter found himself smiling as he put in with the others. "We're the Archian soldiers, and if you fuck with one of us, then you deal with all of us. On three boys!"
"One. Two. Three. ALPHA DRAGONS!" the four soldiers yelled out throwing their hand in the air then laughing. Sal could only smile seeing Hunter look happy again. The small group of them connected hands and hugged, Hunter, thanking each of them for coming to make sure he was okay and snapping him out of his self-doubt and what not.
"Alright you four, go on and get out of here for lunch," Salvatore informed them. Theo, Andrew, Treyden, and Hunter grabbed their things and headed out.
"So, he was blaming himself, and that's why he was upset?" Renee asked after a few minutes.
"It's the unfortunate burden that a leader carries with them. Hunter is in charge of the soldiers for Alpha Hooligan platoon, and as such, he feels that if anyone gets hurt or dies, then it's his fault because it's his job to keep them safe. However, the lesson that he just learned is that even as a leader, you don't control everything that happens. War is a dangerous place, and anything can happen at a moment's notice. Hunter is upset that four of his friends died under his command and he feels like he let them down," Sal informed.
"How did Treyden know he was blaming himself?" Fisher inquired.
"Because Hunter started talking about the what if's, the should of, would of, could of and those are keywords that point to someone feeling like it might have turned out different if they did something differently. Treyden made Hunter realize that things happened the way they did and nothing would change it. Hunter knew deep down that it wasn't his fault but when you're trapped in grief and have so much time to yourself, you view things differently. That's why it's never good to be alone right away when these things happen. You saw how fast Treyden, Theo, and Andrew came here when they realized Hunter left the party early when they were supposed to go to lunch. Treyden knows that Hunter will say he's okay when he's not in certain situations," Sal explained.
"To put it simply then. Hunter's army friends know it's been an emotional week for Hunter, that he tried to be strong and say he was okay when the pain of losing his friends was consuming him. Also, that reality set in during the funerals, plus the time alone made Hunter doubt himself and feel it was his fault?" Audrey questioned.
"Correct," Sal nodded. It was the truth, Theo, Andrew, and Treyden knew Hunter wasn't okay so like good friends, they came to cheer him up and make him feel better. It sucked to a degree though, Hunter seemed more inclined to let his army friends in instead of them, but it was understandable. Trey, Theo, and Andrew were with Hunter when these deaths happened, they all saw the same thing and understood the pain. For now, it was probably best to let Hunter hang out with the people who were mourning the same as him. Hunter had a very emotional week, but it was apparent that his friends had Hunter's back and proved it without a doubt after today.
