Chapter 4: Seasons: Spring Shower
A soft spring shower dampened the thatched roof of the old farmhouse. Xena breathed deeply, taking in the earthy scent of the wet hay. Her son rested quietly in her lower belly. Xena knew the days of him rolling and kicking around with wild abandon inside her were nearing their end as he pushed his way lower in preparation for birth. With a soothing rub over the bottom of her belly, Xena considered the changes that the seasons of her pregnancy had brought. This was her third pregnancy and yet somehow it felt entirely unique. Xena's feet and ankles hadn't plumped up like fat sausages with either Solan or Eve. Xena guessed that all the bedrest with this pregnancy was likely the primary culprit where the water retention was concerned. But she also knew she had put on more weight with this baby too. Probably because she couldn't quit craving honey, of all things. Since they'd settled back in at the farm. Xena had gone through copious amounts of it, eating it on everything from bread to chicken. Once she had recovered from the delivery, Xena was looking forward to being able to go for her morning run again. Physical inactivity carried as much mental strain for her as it did physical. And, although the past few months had, at times, seemed interminably long, Xena marveled at the fact that she would be holding her baby in her arms before the next full moon.
Muted light filtered through the bedroom window and Xena watched rain droplets trickle down the window pane. Fat gray clouds filled the sky beyond the rain-streaked window and Xena heard thunder rumble gently in the distance. Ares, she guessed, was somewhere beyond those clouds. She hadn't seen him since the night he'd left her in the farmhouse with Gabrielle. Eve had visited numerous times, Lila and Sarah had come twice, even Virgil had made the long trek from Athens to see them, but no Ares. They'd had Olympian visitors too. Aphrodite, Cupid, and Eileithyia were frequent companions. Hestia and Demeter had both been welcomed guests, if unexpected visitors. No one had dared speak his name, except for Eileithyia, the goddess of childbirth, on one occasion. She had told Xena that Ares had asked to be present at the birth. The goddess clearly thought the request bizarre for a male, especially a male god and her inclination was to ban it outright, but she had promised him that she would propose the idea to Xena. And so she had. Surprisingly, the warrior had agreed to allow it.
The smell of breakfast took Xena's attention away from the heavens. Gabrielle carried eggs, sun-dried grapes, barley cake, and a cup of fresh goat's milk on a wooden tray. Xena smiled when she saw a little dish of honey next to the barley cake.
"Hope you're hungry," Gabrielle sat the tray down on the bedside table.
"Famished," Xena said, as she repositioned herself to sit up in bed. "Aren't you going to eat?" She noticed that there was only food for one.
"I picked at my breakfast while I made yours. I was actually going to do some writing and then maybe some meditating on the front porch while it's still raining."
"Wish, I could go out and enjoy it," Xena sighed.
"Soon enough," her friend promised, smiling at Xena's swollen belly. "Need anything else?" Gabrielle asked as she headed for the door.
"No," Xena answered and started smearing honey on the barley cake.
"Okay, just slide the tray under the bed when you're finished. I'll come get it later." Gabrielle stopped and smiled at Xena in the doorway a minute before she left. The next thing Xena heard was the front door open and the sound of the rain beating loudly on the yard in front of the house.
After breaking her fast, Xena felt the urge to relieve herself. She debated on calling Gabrielle but decided that she could make it to the chamber pot by herself. She wasn't completely helpless. Plus, she didn't want to disturb Gabrielle whom she could hear chanting above the thudding of the rain.
Xena moved the bedcovers aside and sat up on the edge of the bed, putting her bare feet firmly on the rough wooden floorboards. She hated how flimsy her legs felt. The warrior in her had always prided herself on her strong thighs. Months of non-use, however, had begun to take their toll on her muscles. Using her hands for more leverage, Xena pushed herself off the bed and made her way carefully over to the toilet. The baby pressed hard on her bladder, making its fullness that much more noticeable.
"Damn," she cursed as she felt the shower gush down her legs and spatter off the wooden floor onto her feet. Xena hurried to the chamberpot before calling out to Gabrielle. Xena could still hear the bard chanting as the room was bathed in a shower of silver white light.
Eileithyia stepped out of the light and moved toward Xena. "Have your contractions started? I got the sense that I was needed urgently."
"No, but my water just broke."
"Well, contractions won't be far behind. Let's get you to Olympus."
"Can you get Gabrielle?" Xena asked and thumbed toward the front porch.
"As soon as I get you settled." Eileithyia took Xena's hand preparing to pop them to her Olympic estate.
"And Ares?" Xena asked, but quickly added, "he wants to be there." She didn't want Eileithyia reading too much into her request. As much as Xena wanted him there she didn't want or need knowing looks from his family.
"It will be done," the goddess assured. "Now let's go." She held Xena tightly and rushed her through the aether to her awaiting birthing chamber.
AXAXAXAXAXAXAX
Ares and Apollo were enjoying their hunt in the Dadia forest when Hermes found them. The messenger god narrowly missed being clipped by one of Apollo's arrows when he appeared out of the aether. Ares laughed boisterously at the near miss.
"Nearly lost a wing there," The god of war ribbed the winged messenger.
"Well, good for you I didn't take an arrow to the heart. I have news for you. Though, I don't know why I even bother." Hermes rolled his green eyes extravagantly.
"Well, spill," Ares put the arrow he was holding back in its quiver.
"It's Xena, she's back at your sister's, she's expected to deliver within the next day or so."
"Guess this means that I have the deer all to myself," Apollo slapped his brother on the back, "I know you've only been killing time with me. Go be with your mortal wench."
"She's not a wench," Ares' lips curled at Apollo.
"I will always have a certain distaste for your Warrior Princess. But, look, let's not fight, brother. A new Olympian is being born today."
"Apollo, it was self-defense, I was there," Ares reminded his brother that Xena had only killed his twin sister Artemis because the goddess had fired on Xena first.
"Sorry, doesn't matter for me, I'll never get over losing my other half. But, I'm genuinely happy for you, if this child is truly what you want."
Ares nodded, understanding his brother's grief. Wishing he had words of comfort but that area was never a strong suit for him. So, he turned to Hermes. "Let's go. I'm going to be a father!"
AXAXAXAXAX
Gabrielle was pleasantly surprised with the birthing chamber that Eileithyia had prepared for Xena. Sunlight poured in from the west facing portico, illuminating the whole room. The large ivory curtains that decorated the south facing window were left to billow in the warm wind. The bard took notice of the dozens of candelabras and braziers placed strategically around the room, should the delivery go on into the dark hours of the night. The relaxing aroma of lavender filled the room. Gabrielle counted two oil burners and saw an altar with burning sticks of incense and guessed they were responsible for the pleasant fragrance.
Xena lay on a low bed. She didn't appear to be in any pain, yet. Two of the goddess' attendants sat on either side of her. One had placed a warm compress on Xena's lower abdomen. The other was rubbing olive oil on her delicate nether region. The birthing stool sat by the bed waiting for the moment when Xena would bring new life into the world.
Gabrielle joined the servants at her friend's side. "Is there anything I can do?"
Eileithyia placed a reassuring hand on the bard's shoulder. "She's comfortable for now, just keep her company. She'll need you more when the contractions start."
Gabrielle took Xena's hand, "I can't believe it's time, already."
"I know," Xena replied and squeezed her friend's hand.
Gabrielle noticed that Xena looked beyond her and Eileithyia as if she was expecting someone else to be in the room. She didn't have to guess just who her friend was searching for.
Gabrielle wasn't sure if she wanted him to come or not. On the one hand, she could see that Xena wanted him there, but on the other, he always seemed to upset the warrior and she did not want Xena to have to suffer him and the pain of delivery.
"I am getting her some wine, would you like a cup, Gabrielle?" One of the servants asked.
"Yes, please. white if it isn't too much trouble."
The bard felt Xena grip her hand tighter and noticed a sharp intake of breath.
"Xena?"
"She's having her first wave of contractions," Eileithyia smiled and moved in beside Xena. "You ready?"
"Do I have any other choice?" Xena responded.
"We went over those already, and as I recall you pretty much declined all of those offers," The goddess teased with a wink.
"Oh yeah," Xena grinned and fisted the gossamer sheet in pain.
As the contraction rippled across her pelvis, Xena looked again at the double doored entryway. Where is he? Xena thought. Hadn't he asked to be here? Hadn't Eileithyia sent Hermes to find him? Maybe he had changed his mind. Men, after all, didn't typically attend child births. Why did she care? Why was it so important for her to have him witness this?
When the contraction settled, Xena laid back against the couch. Eileithyia wiped the sweat from Xena's brow. The warrior looked questioningly at Eileithyia but didn't dare give voice to her thoughts. The goddess smiled back in understanding. She leaned down and whispered to Xena, "he'll be here. It's all he's talked about for months." Xena nodded and her face softened.
The servant returned with the wine. Xena took a small sip of deep red, hoping to relax a little. A second attendant brought a fresh warm towel and situated it on Xena's lower belly. Xena griped her wine glass as little tighter as the current of his presence ripped through her body. She hadn't felt it in months and despite the fact that she was in the middle of labor, her body responded to his arrival. Gods, it was impossible for her not to want him. She huffed as she reminded herself that her want of him was what got her into this little predicament in the first place.
Ares appeared in a flash of silver light. To her surprise he was holding a cradle. He placed the cradle a few feet away from the birthing stool and joined his sister at Xena's side.
"Do you like it?" He asked, indicating the cradle.
"It's beautiful," Xena answered and then noticed the intricate detailing etched into the birchwood. The head and foot boards each had engraved chakrams in their arches. The footboard was decorated with twin swords that replicated her own blade. Two brilliant blue sapphires set in the swords' hilts added a touch of elegance to the piece.
Ares jawed tensed with pride. He half-expected her to have a snide comment just for the sake of having a snide comment but the watery look in her eye told him he had done something right. "Took me months and several panels of wood to get those chakrams just right. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to draw a circle?"
"You made that? Yourself?" Xena asked, setting her wine glass down on the table next to the birthing couch. She hadn't realized how anxious she'd been about seeing him again. And now that he was here she felt more relaxed than she had anticipated.
"I had a little instruction but I did it all, from chopping and planing the wood to carving those swords. Okay, I didn't cut the sapphires. Those were given to me as an offering, but I did set them."
"The god of carpentry now?"
"Well, with Hephy gone, why not, somebody's gotta do it. But enough about me. How are you feeling and how's the baby?" Seeing that all the seats were taken, Ares materialized one out of thin air and sat beside Xena, on her left side, opposite of Gabrielle. The god was at a loss as to how to help but he saw that Blondie was holding Xena's right hand in her own so he reached up to take Xena's left. Gabrielle always seemed to know how to soothe Xena.
"Get back to me after a few more contractions. I am sure I'll be ready to rip your head off by then," she sneered but sweetly.
"I missed you too," Ares smiled and brought her hand up to kiss it. Ares was a little shocked that she didn't rip it away before he could make contact. Instead, she let her hand linger and even ran her pinky lovingly along his bearded jawline. Ares saw the bard bristle out of the corner of his eye.
"I mi–," Xena started to respond but then sat up sharply on the bed, wincing in pain.
"Lay her back down," Eileithyia ordered.
Xena reluctantly relaxed but spasmodic pulses of sheer pain gripped her lower belly. Causing her to jerk forward again. It pained Ares that he could do nothing to alleviate her pain. He hoped it wouldn't get much worse. One of Eileithyia's handmaids brought another warm cloth and laid it across Xena's belly.
"What's that for?" Ares looked at his sister.
"The warmth helps ease the pain a little. So can massaging. Would you like to rub her?"
Ares wanted desperately to rub her. He wanted to do anything to take an active part in this miracle. But he figured, she'd rather have Gabrielle do the honors. Still, it never hurt ot ask.
"Xena?"
Xena heard the question with her ears, she saw the longing with her eyes, but she felt his need in her heart. Nodding, she slowly placed his hand where the pain was the most intense.
He splayed his hand across her rounded belly. He was amazed at how big their child had gotten. Ares kneaded softly with broadly splayed fingers, applying gentle pressure with his fingertips where she had indicated. He caused a low heat to radiate from his hands which soothed her even more.
"Can we turn her?" He asked.
"Yes, gently." the goddess nodded.
Ares rolled Xena onto her left side toward him. He ran his open palms down her lower back, continuing to let the heat emanate from his godly hands. A pleasurable moan escaped Xena's lips. "Feels better, don't stop," she begged.
"Anything I can do?" Gabrielle asked.
"No, this is so good, perfect, unbelievable," Xena muttered but then another sharp pain racked her body.
She reached for anything to grab on to to alleviate the cramp. She found Ares' leather encased knee. Ares increased the heat and pressure on her back but it seemed to be helping less now.
Sweat broke out anew on Xena's brow and her bangs matted to her forehead. She breathed faster and more shallow. On instinct he removed his hands from her back and applied them to her forehead but with a cooling touch instead of warmth. She relaxed back on the bed again as the contraction eased.
"You want some more wine?" He asked reaching for her glass.
"Water," she panted.
With one look from Ares, one of the attendants headed off in search of fresh water.
'Mmmmmmmm," Xena moaned painfully behind gritted teeth.
"The contractions are progressing quickly. You're lucky, this isn't going to be a long labor," Eileithyia called as she moved to the end of the couch. She reached between Xena's legs and inserted her fingers up her opening. "Very quickly," she confirmed.
"Ahhhghhghhfuckfuckfuck," Xena wailed.
"It's okay, you're doing great." Ares didn't know what to say. He'd seen Xena take arrows, shrug off fierce blows, survive brutal cuts, and overcome bruising that left her black and purple from head to toe. She was easily the toughest person he knew, male or female; immortal or mortal. He wished he could stop the pain for her, somehow take it into himself.
"So are you," she praised before letting out another ear-splitting cry.
Eileithyia applied another glob of olive oil to Xena's perineum.
"What are you doing?" Ares asked.
"Moisturizing the area to lessen the tearing."
"Tearing?" His eyes nearly popped out of his head?
"Yes, Ares, a child's head the size of a man's fist is about to come out of a canal about as wide as a finger. It stretches but only so much. Don't you know how this works?" Eileithyia sighed.
"I've never given it much thought to be real honest!"
"Fuuuuuuuuck!" Xena sat bolt upright on the bed. "Fuck you, you did this. You did this to me, you miserable bastard."
"Whoa, Xena. We both."
"Fuck you, fuck off."
"You want me to leave?" His heart fell at his feet.
"Oh, no you don't. You don't get off that easily. Get your ass over here."
Ares didn't know how he get closer and he was becoming fearful that she might just rip his godhood off.
"Sit behind me and do that thing you were doing with your hands but use the rest of your body."
Ares scooted in behind the woman who was about to be the mother of his child. The only love of his immortal life. He couldn't resist. He pulled her hair to the side and kissed her tenderly on the side of the neck. "I love you, you are amazing," he whispered in her ear. Then, he gave her the warmth that she had requested. Xena fell back into his body. Ares was overcome with emotion and fought tears. How many times had they been one in battle? How many times had he thought that she somehow completed them? And yet none of those times compared to what he was feeling now. They were literally becoming one as their bodies melded together and they worked to bring their child into the world.
He struggled to keep his voice even when he asked, "You thought of a name yet?"
"I want. . . .ugh. . . .mmmm. . ..want to name himmmmmm. . . owwwww. . ..after my brother," Xena was fighting her own emotions and the pain and exhaustion of labor but she managed to answer, "I'd like to name him after my brother."
"Lyceus?"
She nodded and exhaled loudly.
"Lyceus of Amphipolis," Ares proclaimed his son's name loudly.
"No," Xena shook her head.
"No?"
Xena belted out another round of agonizing pain. "Olympus, Lyceus of Olympus," she said.
Ares didn't even bother to hold in the tears now. She intended to give their son his place name in honor of his immortal lineage. It was her way of acknowledging Ares' parental rights to the child. His warm tears on her back felt like a soft spring shower. She turned and kissed him softly on the cheek.
Eileithyia checked Xena's readiness again. "It's time, Xena. let's get you over to the stool."
Ares helped Xena onto the stool allowing her to squat for the final delivery.
"Ares, place your hands beneath her, at her opening. When the baby crests, be ready to help him out." Eileithyia guided him.
Ares nodded. He couldn't believe the time was here.
"Xena, are you ready?" Eileithyia placed a hand on Xena's shoulder.
Xena shook her head.
"Yes, you are," the goddess coaxed. "Now, I want you to take a couple of deep breaths then push, okay."
Xena nodded then sucked in a breath.
Fluid seeped out of Xena, coating Ares' hand with a mixture of amniotic juice, blood, and olive oil. He was glad he had the stomach for war because this was just as bad.
With a furious grunt, Xena pushed until she no longer could. She collapsed back against Gabrielle who had moved in behind her when they had moved to the stool and Ares had taken up his position to help the child from the birth canal.
"Again, Xena," Eileithyia encouraged.
"No, no more, I can't." Xena panted. The pressure was intense. Her other deliveries had been painful but nothing like this. It felt as if he was going to blow her apart.
"Yes you can," Ares bellowed. "You are Xena. Xena of Amphipolis. The Warrior Princess, the Chosen and Beloved of the God of War. You are unstoppable, invincible, the greatest mortal to ever live. . . "
"If it'll shut you upppppppppppp" Xena gritted her teeth and bore down again.
Ares felt at her opening, he could feel the head. "I feel him, by Zeus, I feel him, my son!"
"Xena, push," the birthing goddess ordered.
Xena took a couple more breaths then, putting one foot on Ares' shoulder as a brace, Xena bore down and pushed.
"Ares, see if you can get hold of him." Eileithyia encouraged.
Ares grabbed a cloth to clean the bloody gunk off of his hand and reached in for his son.
With a final triumphant grunt, Xena pushed and Ares pulled until their son plopped out and took his first breath of life. Ares held him up in the air and the child let out his first battle cry.
Eileithyia took the child from his father and cleaned and swaddled him. Ares and Gabrielle helped Xena back onto the low couch bed. Gabrielle situated her pillows as Ares lovingly pushed her damp hair back off of her face.
"Xena, that was, that was beyond words. I've never been prouder. You did a magnificent job."
"We, Ares, we, I couldn't have done it without you."
The birthing goddess brought the raven-haired baby over to his parents. She handed Lyceus to Ares who gently placed him in Xena's awaiting arms.
"Hi, Lyceus. I love you little man," Xena cooed. The babe opened his bright blue eyes and looked at his mother. Xena's tears fell from her cheek to his, causing him to cry at the unfamiliar sensation.
"Ohhh, it's okay," she rocked him to soothe him. "I bet I know what will make you feel better."
Xena pulled her birthing gown aside and put Lyceus to her breast. He nudged around, trying to find the right rhythm, finally he latched on.
Ares swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat that formed from watching Xena nurse his child. He promised himself that he would do whatever it took to be what she needed.
AXAXAXAXAXAXAX
Three days later, Lyceus lay asleep in his cradle. Xena walked around the birthing chamber trying to work out some of her soreness. She also wanted to get back to work rebuilding her muscle as soon as possible. It felt so good to be able to get out of bed. She walked out onto the east-facing patio and was delighted at the beautiful garden that stretched out between Eileithyia's Olympian estate and Athena's old residence.
"Are you feeling up to a walk in the garden?" The goddess asked from over Xena's shoulder. She was so quiet that Xena hadn't even noticed her presence.
"I think so, would you mind looking after him for a bit?" It felt eerily odd to be able to trust an Olympian with her infant but she knew without a doubt that Eileithyia adored her son.
"Happy to." Eileithyia gladly agreed to watch the sleeping infant. She wanted to bond with her nephew as much as possible before Xena took him back to the mortal world to live.
"Thank you," Xena smiled at the goddess before roaming off through the garden.
The warm Olympian wind blew softly against the long purple linen gown she wore. She inhaled deeply enjoying the sweet scent of the roses in perpetual bloom. When she reached the edge of Eileithyia's estate, Xena looked over to Athena's vacant villa. It lacked a floral garden, instead, the goddess of wisdom had opted to decorate with fountains and statuary punctuated by topiary archers. Xena admired the solid gold laurel tree that took up the center of the courtyard. Extravagant but graceful, nonetheless.
A warm tingle crawled up Xena's spine, sending a pleasurable jolt up her still very sore center.
"Why are you out of bed?" Ares asked as he appeared, the concern evident in his voice.
"Don't worry, I cleared it with your sister. She's with Lyceus."
"I know, I was there first. He's still sleeping. He's the most precious thing I've ever seen. I wanted to hold him but she nixed it. Said he needs to stay on his schedule.
"He just ate about a half hour ago, so he'll be out for about another three or four."
"How are you feeling?"
"Sore, but better."
"Emotionally?" He asked.
The question took Xena aback a minute. She couldn't really remember Ares being concerned about her emotional well-being. "What do you mean?" She asked for clarification.
"I mean how do you feel about all of this? Any regrets?" He asked, hoping for raw honesty.
"Regrets?"
He moved in behind her and ran a hand softly down her exposed bicep. "You know, you didn't ask for this, getting pregnant. And with the way he was conceived. I just wish it could have been a little more tender."
Xena turned to face him. He placed his hands on her waist. She ran her thumb along his jawline and rubbed his full bottom lip. "Ares just because it wasn't tender, it doesn't mean he wasn't conceived in love. Is that what you're worried about? That he was conceived in anger?"
"Well, sort of," he confirmed.
"You and I do anger so well, but it doesn't mean that we hate each other. I don't hate you. And, I don't believe that you hate me."
"I could never hate you, Xena. I get frustrated with you, exasperated. Sometimes I'd like to shake you senseless but I never hate you."
"Oh, you are going to tell me about frustrated? I am not the one that's always pestering."
"I only pester because you won't give me access any other way."
"I know and I am sorry. It's just that with you the anger is familiar. Passion with you is familiar. Compassion and love, those scare me coming from you," Xena confessed.
"I scare you? My love scares you?"
"Yes, because if I let myself go there, let myself believe that you and me, that we could have all the things I've dreamed of having with a man . . ." her voice caught in her throat, "if you let me down, it would hurt, it would kill me, my soul. I would be afraid, I'd let the darkness back in."
"You wouldn't and what's more, Xena is that I would never let you down. If you give me the chance to prove myself, I swear it Xena, on my godhood, which I would lay down for you in a heartbeat. Is that what it will take? Do you want me to give up my immortality and join you two on Earth, because I will. Just say it, Xena, one word."
She reached up and kissed him softly on the lips. He tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled back. "I don't want you to give up your home. Your place is here on Olympus. I just think we have to take this slowly. It's new territory for us."
"I see how Blondie is with you. She never makes demands on you, not like I do."
Xena shook her head, "Please don't compare yourself with Gabrielle. It's not the same, it could never be the same. And don't make her out to be a saint. She does make demands, all kinds of demands on me. The difference is" that her demands make me a better person."
"And mine pull you back into the darkness?" He looked down in defeat.
"They did. I can't be your warrior queen, Ares. I am not Xena, Destroyer of Nations anymore, I don't want to be."
"I don't want you to be," Ares looked into her eyes hoping she could see the truth he was speaking.
"I know. I do," she toyed with a lock of hair that was curling at the base of his neck. "But, you do want me to be your queen, to be immortal and that is not something I am sure I can commit to. And sometimes, it seems you won't be satisfied with anything less."
"You're right, I've been an all or nothing kind of god. And when you don't give me what I want, I push the buttons that I know will get a reaction out of you, like that night in the temple."
"Ares, please don't ever blame yourself for that. We both know that it was me who pushed your buttons that night. I wanted it. I wanted you to fuck me to within an inch of my life. I wanted you to be so brutal that I'd hate you forever."
He pursed his lips and swallowed hard. "Xena. . ."
"Shhhh," she placed two fingers on his lips.
"Let me finish. The problem is that we both know that there is nothing you could do to make me hate you forever. I'm not going to throw a laundry list of things that you've already done because that would be petty but suffice it to say that I've already got plenty of reasons to despise you and despite all of that, I still yearn for you and not just in my loins. You are here, "she placed his hand on her chest," you always will be. I love you, Ares."
"I love you, Xena."
She reached up and kissed him openly and honestly. He pulled her into him, she didn't resist.
After Ares broke the kiss, they stood in the rose garden just holding each other for a few minutes. Xena's head rested on Ares' chest. He stroked her raven tresses tenderly.
Ares wondered where they went from here but decided that Xena would let him know when she was ready. He knew that as soon as she was fully healed that she would be returning to Earth with Lyceus. It pained him but he wasn't about to pull a power play, not when things were going so beautifully between them. He was just glad they had come to terms with each other. At least now, he would be able to watch his son grow up and not just from afar.
They were interrupted by Gabrielle clearing her throat as she came up the cobbled path.
"Hey," she looked to Xena, "just coming to see if you needed anything."
"No, I have everything I need," Xena said and took Ares' hand. She turned to Gabrielle, "Ares was just going to give me a tour of Athena's old place."
"Okaaaay," Gabrielle replied, concerned that Xena was letting her hormones drive her mad, "Can we talk, in private before you go?"
Xena looked at Ares, "Give us a minute?"
Great, he thought, this is it, the moment that Blondie reminds her of all the poisonous reasons that she shouldn't let him back into her life. But he had promised Xena he would make no more demands so he backed off.
"Sure, I'll go see if Lyceus is up yet."
"He isn't, I was just there," Gabrielle sniped.
"Well, then, I'll watch him sleep." Ares disappeared into the aether.
"What is wrong with you?" Xena asked. "Why did you deliberately try to antagonize him?"
"What's wrong with me? Xena, what's wrong with you? Look, nevermind, I am sure your emotions are running a gamut right now, but this is Ares, yes, he's the father but we both know that that is not a good thing. You told him to get lost and now you're all huggy kissy with him. No wonder the guy can't get a clue with all the crazy mixed signals you're sending him."
"Mixed signals?"
"Yeah, you know, get lost, come hither, make up your mind for Zeus' sake."
"You might not like my decision," Xena warned.
"Oh, is that right?" Gabrielle asked. "Xena you are not thinking clearly. You need to take a step back, let your hormones get themselves under control and re-examine what's going on here."
"Here's what I know. Five minutes ago, I was happy, blissfully so and now I feel dirty, cheap. You know I am starting to think that it's not Ares that makes me feel dirty but your judgment of my feelings for him."
"Well, Xena, there is a reason for that. Look at all he has put you through and you can't get him out of your system. He must hold some kind of sick power over you." Gabrielle charged.
"He does. It's called love."
Gabrielle took a step back. "So what are you saying? That you wanna be with him,now?"
"I am saying I don't know what I want right now because I am emotional but I am saying that I was happy and feeling really good five minutes ago, feeling like I was making progress, like he was really listening to me and you come and try to soil it. I am tired of that. He and I need space to work this thing out and as my best friend I hope you will honor that."
"Oh I see, best friend, so we are back to that are we? We both know that I am more than that?"
"Don't start that," Xena spat, "We have hardly been exclusive. I never wanted to be."
"But you do with him?" Gabrielle's stomach churned.
"That is beside the point. All I am saying is don't make this out to be a monogamous relationship, It isn't, never has been."
"Fine, very well," Gabrielle agreed. "But you can't seriously expect a monogamous relationship from him. He's a male god, they are notorious for their debauchery."
"I am not having this argument right now."
"Great, put if off til later, just like everything else dealing with him, you always do."
"Because when I tell you how I feel about him, you always react like a fucking hydra!"
"Whatever, when do you think you'll be ready to go back to Earth? I'll just stay with Dite until then."
"No need, I can get Eileithyia to take you back now."
"Xena, I am sorry, don't be that way. I don't care to wait for you."
"Look, I am not sure I am going back for a while."
Gabrielle's heart feel to her feet. "What do you mean, you can't stay with Eileithyia forever."
"I am hoping I won't have to," Xena smiled.
"You are going to move in with him?" Gabrielle asked in utter disgust.
"Not exactly," Xena said, "Look, if you want to go back, I won't stop you but I am thinking of staying at least for the time being." With that revelation, Xena headed back up the stone path to find Eileithyia.
Gabrielle just stood in the garden, her mouth agape. Xena's hormones were definitely askew.
Xena found Eileithyia on the patio. She looked into the goddess's chambers and saw Ares looking lovingly into the cradle at his son.
"Eileithyia, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Athena's estate, why is no one using it?"
"Well, as a virgin-goddess, she didn't have any heirs. Everyone else already has a place. They offered it to me but I didn't feel right annexing it to my estate, so I just left it empty. Why do you ask?"
"I was wondering, if it wouldn't be too inappropriate. . .look, I'd like it if Lyceus and I could stay on Olympus for the time being but I don't want to inconvenience you and I don't want to move in with Ares. We have issues we have to work through."
"Oh, Xena, I think that is a wonderful idea. I'll have it cleaned and you two can move in as soon as this evening, if you like."
"Tomorrow will be fine."
"When are you going to tell him?"
"Right now," Xena smiled at Eileithyia.
"I'll have yours and Gabrielle's things taken over to Athena's villa right away," the goddess glowed with enthusiasm.
"Don't bother with mine," Gabrielle called as she came up the sidewalk, "I won't be staying."
The next day as Xena got comfortable in her new quarters, her tears fell like a spring shower at the loss of her best friend. She would miss Gabrielle but when she thought about her future on Olympus, all she saw was the promise of perpetual summer.
