Heya. Decided to write one of these. I only watched a few 60's Batman episode, Return of the Caped Crusaders and the original 60's film, so bear with me.
Batman and the Home Invasion!
One day at Wayne Manor in the living room, Millionaire Playboy Bruce Wayne and his young ward Dick Grayson were playing checkers when Alfred entered the room.
"Sir, there's some people at the door." He announced "Are you expecting guests?"
"No." frowned Bruce "I'm not." He turned to Dick "Do you mind if we finish this game in a minute, old chum?"
"Go ahead, Bruce!" grinned Dick, amiably "I'll wait here while you do that!"
And so Bruce and Alfred left the room and headed towards the door. Upon opening it, they were met with a sight that chilled them both to the bone.
Standing at the doorway were four figures wearing domino masks.
"Can I help you?" Bruce politely asked, simply raising an eyebrow at the domino masks.
"Indeed you can, you Do-Gooding dunce!" Replied a portly figure as they all took their masks off, revealing four of the vilest villains Bruce had ever encountered.
The Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime!
The Riddler, the King of Conundrums!
The Penguin, the Bumbershoot-wielding Bird of Prey!
And Catwoman, the Countess of Criminality!
"Don't move you fools!" Cried Joker, pulling out a gun "One move and I'll blow your head off!"
Bruce and Alfred reluctantly put their hands up.
"What do you want, you Immoral Incarnates?" Bruce Demanded, angered that they had come to his home like this and rather annoyed that he would have to postpone his and Dick's game of Checkers.
"Call your ward over here!" Penguin ordered "At once, if not sooner!"
"Of course." Replied Bruce "Just a moment!" He leaned against a portrait and put a palm to the side of his mouth "Dick! Get over here, old chum!"
Unbeknownst to the villains, however, he had pressed a concealed button on the portrait's right hand...
...
Back in the living room a light descended from the ceiling, soundlessly flashing blue. On it was written: 'BAT-ALARM!'
Quicker than a hunted fox, Dick rushed out of the room and towards the study, opening the bust and pressing the red button. A secret passage opened in the walls, revealing two poles. Without a moment's hesitation, Dick jumped onto one of the poles and slid down as fast as the laws of physics would allow him.
By the time his acrobat's feet touched the floor of the Batcave, the Automatic Bat-Costume Changer had transformed his appearance into that of Robin, the Boy Wonder!
Rushing towards the Bat-Computer, he pressed some buttons and a computer screen emerged from the floor with 'BAT'CCTV FOOTAGE' painted on it. The screen flickered to life, and the images showed by the Invisible Bat-surveillance Cameras were shown.
Holy home Invasion!
At the screen showing where the study was, Bruce and Alfred were being held at gunpoint by none other than Joker, Penguin, Riddler and Catwoman! Thank Heaven he had managed to get down the Bat-poles before they had arrived!
Now, how was he going to get them out of the house?
...
Back in the study, the frightful foursome were very, very angry.
"Where is he, you benevolent bonehead?" Barked Riddler, pointing his gun at Bruce and Alfred.
"I'm afraid I don't know. He was in the Living room when you rang, but now he's not there." Bruce calmly replied, silently wondering how Robin was going to get them out of this.
Enraged, Penguin swung his Umbrella at the bust on Bruce's desk. It fell on the floor with a thump and opened up, revealing the button that opened the entrance to the Bat-Cave.
"What's this?" Asked Penguin, picking the bust up.
"Don't touch that!" cried Joker with alarm "I pressed that last time I came here! I ended up going on some kind of crazy fireman-pipe-ride!" He shuddered at the memory.
Catwoman peered down the secret entrance "It looks like it leads to somewhere." She told them observantly.
"Go down there, for all I care!" Snapped Joker, irritably "More money for the rest of us!"
"I strongly advise you don't." Bruce Protested, trying to put on a calm façade while secretly he was panicking on the inside.
Then Catwoman noticed something behind the poles. A sign. "'Access to Batcave Via Batpoles'" She read.
The four crooks looked at each other.
"Could it be...?" Wondered Riddler, in awe at the thought.
"But it can't be..." Muttered Joker.
"But it must be!" Cried Penguin "Catwoman, go and take a look!"
Agile as a panther, Catwoman jumped onto the poles and slid down them. After a few minutes, she called up 'Boys! Get down here!'
The three crooks looked at one another for a moment. Then Riddler jumped onto the poles with a mad cackle and slid down them. Joker, Penguin, And a reluctant Bruce and Alfred followed.
The three crooks stared around. It was an enormous cave with machines all over the place.
"Thundering guttersnipes!" Cried Penguin, gaping so much that his cigar fell out of his mouth.
Joker clapped his hands with utter glee "My word! We're in the Batcave! We're in The Batcave I say!"
"And that means-" Catwoman pointed at Bruce Wayne "That HE is Batman!"
"Haaaah-haaaah!" Crowed The Penguin "We've beaten you, Caped Crusader! Without your secret identity, you're finished!"
Joker shoved past him and raised his gun to Batman's head "Anything to say before I blow your head off?"
"How about 'Take this'?"
Joker turned to see a green-gloved fist flying towards him.
'POW!'
The Harlequin of Hate stumbled back, clutching his nose.
Robin was standing in front of them, fists raised "Surrender, you Cowardly Crooks!"
"Not on your Nelly, Boy Blunder!" Yelled Penguin, raising his umbrella.
Bruce and Alfred took this opportunity to snatch The Guns away from Joker and Penguin ('SWIPE!') and throw them away '(CLATTER!'). Catwoman, the only one without a gun, hissed in anger and lunged at Robin. The Boy Wonder sidestepped her and tripped her, making her fall onto the ground ('THUMP!'). Before anyone else could react, he sprayed her with a black canister, and she slumped unconscious.
"What did you spray her with?" Demanded Joker "Bat Knock-out gas!?"
"I'm afraid not, you Vile Villain! I sprayed her with our new Bat-Amnesia Spray!" Replied Robin, proudly "If we spray you with this, you'll forget what happened in the last twenty-four hours, you Egregious Outlaws!"
"You'll have to beat us first!" Snapped Penguin, raising his Umbrella.
A three-on-three brawl began. Batman fought Riddler, Robin battled Penguin, and Joker and Alfred had a rematch against one another, this time with fisticuffs.
Batman grappled Riddler for a bit, before ducking and punching him in the chin ('BIFF!'). They then exchanged some blows before Bruce grabbed a nearby desk chair and smashed it against Riddler ('CRASH!'). The Crooked Conundrum-maker was thrown back and fell to the cave floor, sleeping like a baby.
Robin struggled with the Penguin at first, But he soon slapped him on the hand ('SMACK!'), making him drop his umbrella. Robin swiftly dropped to his knees and snatched it up, releasing a wave of Umbrella-Sleeping gas at the Penguin, who fell on his back slowly and dramatically.
By this Point, Joker had already given up and was doing his best to run away (while hooting with laughter) from Alfred, who was chasing him around the cave. While Robin stayed behind to spray their fallen foes, Batman rushed to help Alfred.
Joker eventually gave up running and turned to face Batman and Alfred "I'll beat you yet, you do-gooding dunderheads!" He growled, and with that, he threw a punch at Batman ('POW!'), who retaliated with a kick to the side ('BAM!'). He grabbed the Clown and threw him against the ground. ('CRASH!') Joker quickly got up and threw some more punches at our hero, which all missed.
They fought for a few more minutes before Robin ran up and gave the Clown Prince of Crime a Jumping Kick to the face ('WHAMM!'). Without wasting any more time, the Boy Wonder then sprayed Joker in the face with the Bat-Amnesia Spray, making him slump unconscious onto the ground.
"Well done, Boy Wonder!" Grinned Batman, placing an Arm around his young Ward's shoulder "Dick my boy, I am so proud of you!"
"Thanks, Bruce!" Dick smiled "I'm just glad I solved this mess."
"Let's take them to the Police Station." Bruce told him "They won't remember a thing and we can tell the Police everything."
"Hang on, Master Bruce." Alfred said "I can do that. We have some spare masks in the Attic and you can tell the commissioner everything over the phone. You have a game of checkers to finish."
Robin grinned "I'd forgotten all about that!"
Bruce smiled "I think that's a good idea, Alfred. You can go ahead."
...
A few hours later, Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara stood next to a rubbish skip, staring at the unconscious Joker, Penguin, Riddler and Catwoman, who had been unceremoniously dumped there by persons Unknown...
...
Hope you enjoyred! Favourite and review!
