There was a lot of chaos ensuing within the Haddock Household walls after Treyden called Sal called in a panic about needing help to find Hunter. Though, Trey was so worked up in a worry that Dustin had to take the phone and explain to Salvatore about Hunter being gone and the note that was found under the couch. Of course, Sal reacted like any concerned father and jumped to his feet saying that they would find him before it was too late. What Salvatore gathered from the few sentences was that Hunter couldn't deal with the losses of his fallen friends and had taken off in a broken-down state of mind, which was never good. As soon as Sal hung up the phone, he quickly woke up Viola and Caitlyn.
"Sal, what is wrong, it's six in the morning," Viola began.
"Treyden just called me, Hunter's missing and left what sounds like a suicide note. We're gonna go look for him and pray to the Gods we make it in time," Sal explained as calmly as he could.
"W-Why would...Hunter want to kill himself! W-We just saw him last week!" Caitlyn panicked while throwing on a pair of socks and shoes.
"I said it sounded like one. We don't have time to debate this, call Andrew and have him help us. Vi, you call the Jorgenson's," Sal ordered as Caitlyn called her boyfriend, knowing he was awake at this hour and Viola called the Jorgenson residence while Sal was grabbing his keys and calling the rest of the friends who lived in Berkton. It was confusing and hard to explain, but everyone got the bottom line and drove out in car pooling manner to get to the Fury house. Arriving there within the hour, Dustin let them in, and they saw Treyden panicking on the couch.
"Alright, everyone just...calm down. I'm sure Hunter is okay. All his evaluations came back normal, and he wasn't at risk of snapping," Sal tried to console the worried friends, his daughter, and wife. Audrey stepped forward towards Treyden and saw the note on the table as she picked it up to read it over. "Something you find?" Sal inquired.
"Examining. In most suicidal people, if they are aiming to kill themselves in a breakdown, don't write a note this neat and would be on the premises trying to commit suicide. I've been learning about it in school. Hunter wrote this calmly, there are no tear stains on the paper or a shaky hand," Audrey pointed out.
"We're wasting time!" Viola sobbed with worry.
"Look, I don't think he's trying to kill himself, I don't see that in his words. It's clear he's suffering depression and PTSD because he says he can't stop seeing or hearing it all. I think the no sleeping comment comes from that, he keeps seeing death and can't sleep anymore, so he wants to sleep and remember them alive not dead. Also, he's saying he can't live like this anymore or deal with it, while that can point to suicide, I don't think its the case because he said too that he wants to be happy again but feels like he can't with all the pain," Audrey informed them.
"You think he's breaking down because of the hurt he feels but because he says he wants to be happy?" Dustin asked.
"Besides, in rushed suicide, he wouldn't haven't had a clear head to write this and be able to drive. But, enough time alone and he could try to find an outlet for the pain. I think he left a clue to finding him; I want to be happy again, and I'm going to the place I know I can be," Audrey repeated as Salvatore looked at Treyden.
"What death him hardest, Trey?" Sal asked, and Treyden got up now.
"Ha-Harry's did, he died in Hunter's arms when we were pinned down. Harry told Hunter to leave him behind and save the company, then he died. Then Hunter got hurt and was recovering in the hospital until the end of the tour," Trey stated.
"And like with all fallen soldiers, a ceremony was held for him after the attack was over, right?" Sal inquired. Trey nodded, "But Hunter didn't get to go and has spent a majority of healing from the wound here with you. I think I might know where he would have gone," he stated as a glimmer of hope reignited in Treyden. "Harry's grave. If what he's saying in that note is he wants to remember them as they were, going somewhere to be happy then he's not trying to kill himself, he's trying to mourn to cope with things,"
"Load up; we're going to Murdmount!" Dustin stated. Not wasting another second, Treyden and his father led the charge to where Harry was buried, twenty-five minutes away.
(Murdmount; Soulwings Sanctuary)
"Harry is buried towards the back along the stream, I was here when they buried him," Dustin informed as Treyden scanned along the water and saw a few grounds keepers, then Hunter's truck parked. Treyden looked closer and saw a figure sitting in the grass; head against the fence, body, looking limp.
"Hunter..." Trey whispered as he took off towards the back, Andrew right behind him. Trey hit the ground and saw the pictures in Hunter's hand, ones of the Hooligan Platoon and Plasma Fire Company when they all started in Afghanistan. Treyden lifted Hunter's chin and looked to see Hunter's eyes open but tears falling slowly.
"I-I just wanted to...be close...and remember the times...when it didn't hurt," Hunter wept. Treyden didn't even care, he pulled Hunter into his arms and held him tightly just as the others were rushing up. Once in Trey's embrace, Hunter held onto him tightly, buried his face in Trey's chest and cried.
"It's okay. Ssh, everything is going to be fine now," Trey soothed while Andrew looked at him worried and rubbed Hunter's back.
"Trey," Dustin got Trey's attention who just glanced over to his father, "Did he hurt himself?" Trey didn't want to look or pull away from the hug because it's what Hunter needed right now, to know he wasn't alone in this. When Hunter calmed down a little, Trey pulled back and rolled Hunter's sleeves up to check his wrists and then checked for other marks, weapons, or signs of pills. After that, Trey looked to his Dad and shook his head.
"Son," Sal knelt down next to Hunter now and hugged him, "Why didn't you tell anyone you were feeling this way?"
"I-I thought...I was strong enough to deal with it," Hunter replied in a cracked tone.
"No one is strong enough to cope with PTSD by themselves. You have to talk to someone, anyone at all but you can't hold the pain inside," Andrew mentioned to Hunter. "I have a mild case of it, so does Treyden. We both see counselor to cope,"
"It doesn't make you strong to do it alone, it's admitting you know you can't and asking for help. We're all here for you, Hunter, you don't have to bear the burden by yourself," Treyden held Hunter's hand tightly then hugged him again. "Don't ever...scare me like that again,"
"I-I'm sorry...I just-" Hunter started to cry again. "I can't...stop seeing it. I can't sleep and I don't...feel like me,"
"It's okay. It's alright. Nothing else matters other than you're alright and now that we know what's wrong, we can work on it together," Salvatore interjected. "Come on, let's get back," he said after a few minutes. Andrew and Trey got Hunter to his feet and then into his truck, Trey got the keys and turned it on. "We'll meet you back at the house,"
(A Month Later)
After getting back to Treyden's house, Sal sent the others home to leave it just be himself, Trey, Andrew, and Dustin there to work with Hunter. It started with Trey helping Hunter get a shower to calm down and the other three discussed how to go about this situation. It was agreed that Hunter didn't want to kill himself but he was getting to a point where a moment of weakness like this could be worse and Hunter slipped up with self-harm are going through with suicide. Dustin suggested that Hunter needed to be watched for a few days until his mood evened out. Sal and Andrew agreed with that. Next it was recognizing Hunter needed to see a professional psychologist and take some personal time off work to get his head in order.
When Hunter was out of the shower and dressed, Treyden confirmed that Hunter didn't have self-harm injuries and also that Hunter managed to fall asleep sitting on his bed and the three males explained to Trey what they felt should happen but Trey also told his father and Hunter's about why Harry's death was hard for Hunter to cope with. As more time passed leading into April, Hunter was doing better. It started with Hunter taking a week off work, then finding him someone to talk to about everything. The remaining time was working and spending time with Trey, family, and friend who helped him stay distracted and took the time to ask if he was alright or needed to talk. It was a slow start and still had a long way to go but Hunter was able to sleep again and start enjoying things he'd stopped when the depression hit.
~Hunter's POV~
Gods, I felt like an idiot. How could I have even thought that my family, friends, and even Trey wouldn't be here for me if they knew about the pain I felt? I never should have hid it from them and maybe I wouldn't of suffered for so long alone. I ended up admitting in my appointment to the doctor that there were times I thought about killing myself but always stopped because I knew how much it would hurt those who cared about me. I was doing better now, a month later. My wound was completely healed too and on top of psychology appointments, I had my physical therapy too. Doctors said it was looking good and would be fine come May. That cheered me up a lot and thankfully, I didn't have to wear the sling anymore.
I felt to the degree that it might have had a play on my emotions. I was useless without my left arm; I was limited with everything not being able to use it. I noticed now that I could use both arms, and have the freedom again; I was happier than before. I wasn't taking any medications for the depression or PTSD; the doctor didn't think I needed them. I was back to doing things I like such as being able to make love to my boyfriend again and with no restrictions either. I could shoot my gun, lift things, and sleep. Gods, I was happy to sleep. There were still moments I had trouble, but Treyden was there to get me through the night by holding me, waking me up slow so I was looking at him and it was a sense of comfort.
My psychologist and I only met once a week now, therapy appointments twice a week. The rest was working and spending time with family and friends. Andrew was living with Conner and Nikolas; he didn't like living in his and Theo's old place alone, I couldn't blame him. Trey and I talked about getting our own place too, but nothing decided on yet since I was having all the issues not too long ago. It almost turned into a big fight, Treyden reminding me that we were supposed to talk if something was wrong and the fact I hid when I wasn't okay. I understood Trey's point because he started crying and explaining that he was afraid to lose me, how could I be upset about that reasoning?
I loved Treyden, and he was scared not to have me by his side. It opened my eyes honestly, what was I without him? Treyden is my first same-sex relationship, and by the Gods, I wanted him to be my last too. Meaning, I never wanted to lose him. I was Treyden's first lover too, and he made his stance clear that he didn't want to lose me. In May, we'll reach two years of dating, and I knew exactly what I was going to do to show him how much he meant to me, how much I appreciated him being in my life and standing by me even when I started feeling depressed. Trey could have walked away, said he didn't want to deal with someone like me, but he didn't. Trey stayed and helped all he was able to. I wanted Trey in my life forever, and I was going to make it happen.
(May 17th, 2021)
Today is Monday, Treyden and mine's two year anniversary, we both took the day off work, and I had the whole day planned for us. Breakfast and lunch dates, mini-golfing, the shooting range, ice cream and a walk in the park. It was a little weird because so far, this was going exactly like when I planned to propose to Audrey before the truth came out of her abortion. Yep, that's right. I'm planning to ask Treyden to marry me, I knew what I wanted this time, and I'd never been surer of my choice. It was going to be a quiet night, just us. Dustin already made plans to disappear for the evening knowing what was gonna happen.
The day was perfect, and now, it was 6:30 pm, and we'd be enjoying a peaceful night at home, I was making dinner for Treyden and me, and over that is when I planned to ask him the big question. No one knew about this; I hadn't told a soul because I wanted it to be special. Getting home, I told Trey to slip into something more comfortable while I cooked so he took a shower and I made the food. It was one of Treyden's favorites; breaded and friend chicken tossed in with some butter, garlic, and herb pasta, a light layer of cheese. The time ticked away, soon it was 7 pm, and I set up a small table in my room with a table cloth and candle, then two plate and utensil settings. Finally, I brought in the food and placed the food on the plates; I kept the ring in my pocket.
"Hunter, where are you? You said dinner time," Treyden asked.
"In my room, Love," I called back, then dimmed the lights and stood ready after taking a deep breath. This is what I wanted, Treyden as my husband and in my life until we took our last breaths. Treyden entered the room, and his eyes widened. "Happy anniversary," I said softly.
"Baby, it's...amazing. I love it, thank you," Treyden smiled broadly while he hugged me and I laughed a little returning it, then I led him to the table and let him sit before myself in the seat across from him.
"Anything to see you smile," I replied while taking the covers off the plates, revealing the home cooked meal to him. "Your favorite,"
"You remembered!" Trey gasped excitedly.
"Of course I did, silly. Wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I didn't," I remarked while lifting the wine glass up, yes, I did wine over beer; decided to be a little romantic tonight. Trey raised his as we touched them together lightly, "To us and many more years together," I toasted as Trey blushed with a nod.
"To us," he repeated as we both took a sip then began eating. Doing this, we continued to talk about anything. Trey asked how I was doing in my appointment, both types and I said I was happier than I was two months ago in March. When dinner was over, I moved over to my phone dock and flipped on the music, a song I wrote him and me. (It's just Back At One by Bryan Mcknight, in case anyone was curious!) At this time too, I set my phone to record while bringing Trey to his feet, dancing with and singing to him. "I love you, Hunter,"
"I love you more," I said as the song was coming to an end. "I want to thank you, Treyden. You've been amazing to me since we've met and you're always here for me too. You could have left me, run away when I got depressed and suffered the PTSD. You could have broken up with me for not keeping my promise to tell you if something was wrong. You are my very best friend and my lover too. And I hope you know how grateful I am to have you in my life," I paused when the song stopped, and I stared at him, taking one step back. "I got you something, but first, I need to know if you're happy with me?" I asked gently while holding the ring box behind my back.
"The feeling I have for you doesn't have a word to describe it, Hunter. Since meeting you, even before we started this relationship, not a day passes where I'm not smiling because you are in my life. What we have...it's not just love, Hunt. It's something much deeper; true love, that I never want to lose," Treyden said, I smiled as opened the box behind my back, then held Treyden's left hand before bringing it around into his sight while I got down on one knee.
"Then say yes, and you'll never have lose it. I love you, and I can't imagine my life without you in it, Trey. Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband, will you marry me and make me the happiest man alive?" I asked lovingly. Treyden's eyes widened, I saw them start to form tears.
"Yes..." Trey whispered out and then the smile before he tackled me down hard to the floor. "YES!" he shouted, I kissed him deeply and slid the ring on his finger. It was a semi small, black band with diagonal accent diamonds going around the whole thing. We got off the floor as I set him on my bed, then cleaned things up quickly after turning off the camera. I had taken pictures of everything. Tomorrow morning, it was going up on my social media page in an album titled; Best Night Of My Life. It would be everything we did, then show the video. When everything was set in the house, I turned my full attention to my fiance with a smile before kissing him passionately then laying him down on the bed with me over him, and we started making love.
There was no better way to end this night than by engaging in the most intimate act a couple could do. Everything had been perfect, and now we were engaged to be married. My life couldn't get better than this, and I felt like me again, I was happy and madly in love with this man. I loved Treyden, and he loved me, he was the only one I will spend the rest of my life with.
