Hi, friends!

Back for #upsteadweek day 2! A day late, but better than never!

Everyone's back to filming today, we're one Wednesday closer to September! So exciting!

Happy Reading, xo S.


The sound of soft baby cries coming from the monitor on the nightstand next to her woke Hailey from her sleep. She carefully sat up, not wanting to wake up Jay, peeling his arm off her abdomen. He took the midnight feeding and graciously left her in their bed to sleep.

She slipped her robe on over her sleep shirt and stepped out the bedroom door, padding down the hallway into the nursery. Emerson Lyra Halstead, or Emmy as her parents fondly nicknamed her, laid in her crib, softly whimpering, waiting for someone to come in and scoop her up.

"Hi there, little babe."

At the sound of her mom's voice, Emmy's eyes focused on Hailey's and she started kicking in her sleep sack. Hailey unzipped the sack and lifted her up, grabbing the pacifier that was wedged in the corner of the crib, which is what probably caused Emmy to wake up, not that Hailey really minded. Emmy was three months old, and Hailey had taken an extended leave to be at home with her during the early stages of her baby's life.

Hailey grabbed a blanket from the changing table, and sat down in the glider in the corner of the room, situated right by the window,

"Why'd you wake up, hm?"

She laid Emmy on her chest, covering her back with the fuzzy pink blanket. Hailey rocked slightly, making the glider move slowly back and forth, as she rubbed her hand up and down Emmy's back.

Emmy's soft curls were just starting to grow in and Hailey couldn't get enough of them. She had dark hair like Jay, but her eyes were bright blue like Hailey's, and her pale skin was shining in the moonlight that was slipping through the curtains.

"You're such a pretty little babe, Daddy's already polishing off his rifle. Right? Daddy's gunna go crazy."

Emmy cooed at Hailey's voice and wrapped her fingers around a piece of Hailey's long blonde hair, softly tugging at it as Hailey rocked back and forth.

"Why is mama's hair your favorite, hm? Why do you like it so much?"

She pried Emmy's fingers from her hair and tossed it over her right shoulder, bringing Emmy up to lay on her left shoulder. She stuck the pacifier in the baby's mouth, feeling Emmy relax against her, and laid her head back, taking in the room around her.

Hailey and Jay returned home from their anatomy scan, where they just discovered the sex of their baby. Both were impatient people and wanted to know what they were having as soon as possible. When the tech at Med said they were to be expecting a little girl, Hailey's eyes welled up and she felt Jay squeeze her hand.

The pair were on their way out when they ran into Will, who was coming around the corner at a powerwalk.

"Hey you two! I was hoping to catch you on your way out."

Jay and Hailey smiled at him, Hailey resting a hand on her barely noticeable bump, the other hand laced with Jay's.

Will was rocking back and forth on his heels, anxious to hear if he'd be welcoming a niece or a nephew.

"So…was the tech able to tell? If not, I can page Natalie to do it again for you guys."

Hailey shook her head,

"No need, we actually just found out."

Jay and Hailey shared a look,

"She will be making her appearance mid-December."

Will lit up,

"A girl? Oh man."

He hugged Hailey first, careful not to crush her belly, and then hugged Jay, whispering in his ear,

"Ma would be so happy."

Jay nodded, trying to fight the tears that were prickling behind his eyes.

Hailey wiped her own tears away, watching the two brothers embrace. Jay never really voiced a preference on what he wanted, all he said was that he didn't care as long as it was a healthy baby. Hailey could see a little Jay running around, with freckles and blonde curls and his gorgeous green eyes. But as soon as the tech said they would be expecting a little girl, she felt her whole world shift. Now all she saw was a little girl, with curly hair, having her daddy wrapped around her finger.

Hailey continued to glide back and forth, taking in the nursery décor. The room that once was used as storage was slowly transformed into a nursery that looked like it came off the pages of a Crate and Barrel catalog. She smiled at the memory of watching her friends transform the room she was sitting in.

Their friends, along with Will, Voight and Platt, rallied together to clear out the room, put up the wallpaper, hang curtains, and put together furniture, amongst other things. None of them let Hailey lift a finger, so she watched from the hall as the room came alive, making sure everyone helping were fed and hydrated at all times.

"Can I sleep in this room? It's so peaceful."

Vanessa and Kim were sprawled out on the area rug, taking in all their hard work from the last few weeks. One wall was covered in muted pink floral wall paper, while the other walls were a calming shade of white, the glider was set up by the window, the crib was against the wall with the wallpaper, and all that was missing now was the guest of honor herself.

Hailey chuckled from the glider, as she was much too round now to make it down to the floor comfortably. She was exactly 37 weeks and feeling it. Adam and Kevin were leaning against the other wall, after triple checking the changing table bolts were tight and secure.

"Sure, when she's screaming at 3am to be fed, I'll make sure to call you."

Vanessa rolled her eyes at her friend,

"Aunt V, at your service."

Hailey chuckled,

"You say that now."

Jay walked in with a box in his hands, and Hailey instantly knew what it was. He walked over to her and offered his hand, helping her to pull herself up.

"We have one more thing we need your help with."

Hailey smiled,

"As honorary aunts and uncles, I think it's about time we tell you all Baby H's name."

Kim let out a squeal,

"Ooh I've been waiting for this."

Hailey held one end of the box and Jay pulled at the other side, reveling a circular wooden plaque with muted pink rose buds decorating the top, bearing her name.

"Baby H is officially Emerson Lyra Halstead."

Jay wrapped his free hand around Hailey's shoulders, pulling her into his side,

"Or Emmy for short."


Hailey could feel that Emmy wasn't asleep, but she was still calmly laying on her chest, so Hailey continued to run her fingers up and down Emmy's back.

"I hope I didn't pass my insomnia down to you. Not being able to sleep is the worst, right?"

Emmy spit her pacifier out, landing on Hailey's lap, and Emmy started pulling at her mom's shirt.

"Ah, you're a hungry baby tonight Emmy girl."

Hailey glanced at the time on the baby monitor, 3:10am. She chuckled to herself, right on time, a trait she most definitely inherited from Jay. She shifted Emmy to her other shoulder while she unbuttoned her sleep top, placing her baby under her chest so Emmy could latch on. Hailey shifted her legs to rest on the ottoman and gently tapped her fingers on Emmy's backside, humming quietly as her baby nursed.

Jay rolled over to pull Hailey closer to him but was met with an empty space. He glanced over to the monitor on the nightstand, seeing Hailey in the glider, their baby resting against her. He stayed on his side and watched the two of them; Hailey pulled Emmy from her chest and she let out a loud wail, as Hailey switched sides, bringing Emmy to her right. Emmy reached up and again grabbed onto Hailey's hair but this time she didn't pull, she just held on. Jay chuckled seeing that, he also liked to have a hand in his wife's hair, it was always so soft.

He rolled back over, Hailey's soft humming floating through the monitor helping him to relax and close his eyes – 6am would be here before he knew it, and he always took the morning feeding, allowing him some quality time with Emmy while Hailey would get in her morning workout.

Back in the nursery, Hailey buttoned her sleep shirt back up and brought Emmy back to her shoulder, draping the blanket back over her. She scooted down in the glider a bit and brought her knees to her chest, cuddling up with her girl. Leaning over, she flicked on the white noise machine with the intent of putting Emmy back in her sleep sack and going back to her bed with Jay. But, as she looked down at her baby, seeing Emmy's hand wrapped around her top, she couldn't bring herself to get up.

She always heard the saying babies don't keep, and now she finally understood what people meant by that. Hailey felt like it was yesterday that she and Jay brought her home, and now, she's three months old. So, forgoing all the baby books she read that said not to rock your baby to sleep as it forms a bad habit, she wrapped the blanket around herself, gliding back and forth, letting the peace of the nursery come over them.

About an hour later, Jay rolled over again, and went to pull Hailey into his body, but came up empty. Running his hand through his hair, he sat up, and took the baby monitor in his hand. Upon a closer look, he realized that Hailey was sound asleep in the glider, one hand resting on Emmy's back and the other across her bottom. His face broke out in a huge grin. He still sometimes couldn't believe this was his life – that he married Hailey, they purchased the beautiful house they live in, and had a baby. He never could picture this for himself, but Hailey walked into that credit union all those years ago and changed everything for him.

Standing up, he walked out of their room and into the nursery. He stood leaning against the door jamb for a few seconds, just watching his wife and baby sleep. He saw that Hailey's head was tilted at a weird angle, so he crossed the room and carefully lifted Emmy from her arms. She stirred a little but Jay was quick, grabbing the pacifier from Hailey's lap and popping it in his daughter's mouth,

"Hi baby. We gotta let mama sleep a little, yeah? You must be getting bigger, you're daddy's hungry girl today."

He walked to her crib, but held her for a few more seconds before putting her down, kissing her little button nose,

"No more growing. You have to stay little forever."

Emmy reached up her hand, patting his face where his stubble was just a little grown out – his baby was obsessed with hair. He took her hand gently, pulling away, and kissed her little fingers, lowering her down into her sleep sack. He zipped it up, and kissed her nose again,

"Good night my girl, Daddy loves you. So so much."

Just as he was standing up from leaning over her, he felt Hailey's arms wrap around his waist, her forehead resting in the middle of his back,

"I couldn't put her down. I know everything says we shouldn't rock her but…"

Jay stood up, turning in her arms, and pulled her into his chest,

"I know. But who cares. She's precious and she'll only be this little for so long. Before we know it, she'll be thirteen and begging us to drop her off a block from school."

Hailey giggled and ran her hands up and down Jay's back,

"Ugh stop that. I don't wanna think about that. She's my perfect baby."

Jay chuckled and tugged on her hand,

"Come on, let's go back to sleep. It's so late."

As he walked them back to their bedroom, Hailey's head resting on his forearm, he stopped suddenly, just as Hailey was getting ready to climb into bed,

"What's wrong? Is she crying?" Hailey just wanted to wrap herself up in Jay and close her eyes.

Jay smiled and shook his head, giving her his 'Hailey smile,' as their friends have dubbed it,

"Nothing's wrong. Quite the opposite – this is perfect. I mean, you know that for a long time, this was never a version of life I expected to happen to me. I was full of grief and PTSD, and…"

Jay trailed off and laid down next to Hailey, her head finding its resting spot on his shoulder, and he felt her soft breaths on his neck, her hand running up and down his arm,

"Jay…"

He shook his head and smiled again,

"That day you stomped through that credit union - my world shifted, everything changed. Even if I didn't know it yet. You're the only person I ever let myself think ahead with, I never let myself feel enough to think of rings and white dresses, a house or a baby. And now look – I, we, have all that. But you…you loved me through everything, and eventually, I let myself think of all those things because of you – it's you, it always has been."

Hailey was smiling, biting back her tears, and leaned over to kiss him. Jay wasn't a wordy man, more action, but when he did voice how he felt – it never failed to give Hailey butterflies, and this instance was no different,

"It was always, and will always be, you for me too."

She kissed him again, and Jay rolled over, pulling her on top of him. He slid his hands under her sleep shirt, pulling it up and over her head, as Hailey pecked down his neck, settling on the spot that made him let out a husky, sexy sound.

Neither of them wound up going back to sleep that night.