Chapter 21


BushClan/Icepaw

The scent of blood plagued the young medicine cat. She rested among the apprentice's den, curled up to her brother for comfort. Tumbleheart was home, she should be happy, yet Foxgaze somehow thought she had abandoned them. No amount of wishing was going to bring an answer or proof. All Icepaw could do was let Poppyclaw tend to the wound while she got rest. Tumbleheart rounded up the new cats into the apprentices den, making room for them in the spacious den.

Icepaw wasn't sure how, but they became their protectors from the rest of the Clan. When dawn came, she was on her paws when Poppyclaw was checking on Flamepaw's stub of a tail. The infection was seeming to settle, Turtlepaw had long since left the den with Maggot. Carefully, she nosed her way out, the blurred colors and shadows swimming in her vision like a river of fish flickering in the depths. She didn't dare squint, knowing she would never see any clearer.

Her misgivings on her path of a warrior had haunted her paw-steps for moons. She had lost a lot of her confidence when her sight began to fail and her struggles to hunt with her white pelt. Even though she had ways to compensate for the pelt, her self-confidence had drained through the tips of her claws. Feeling more and more focused on the darkness that was taking over her vision. Consumed by it and her fears of the war against FearClan, she supposed even with sight she would have changed paths. The calling of a medicine cat came to her as easily as stalking a mouse.

Comfort swamped over her, Poppyclaw had been so gentle despite his usually sharp tongue. His dry humor was a welcoming mew to her ears. He treated her with respect, taking her suggestions and inquiring answers gently. She always wondered why and now she understood. He was being more then a mentor and friend, he was being a father figure to her and encouraging her to follow the path she had chosen. Every patient they had since they shared equal care over, spreading the news of their condition and the herbs they were using.

The stark white apprentice was confident now more then ever. Sickness and infection were the only battles she felt she could fight. Tooth and claw was only a secondary to protect the store of herbs. Her misgivings about not being able to be a warrior and failing Nightstar had faded like shed fur in the wind. No longer battling her anxieties day in and out, she felt at home among the medicine den. Once the infection cleared, she was positive Flamepaw would be able to be a warrior.

Even now, the russet-colored apprentice was kneading his bedding impatiently. The fever that wracked his body seeming to have been broken enough for him to itch on leaving the nest. She remembered touching her nose to his to check his temperature. It was the lowest it had been for a while. There was no reason to keep him cooped up when a little fresh air could do him good. Her frosty indigo eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Seems like your fever has gone down. We still need you to stay inside, but if you want, I can get Twilightsky so you two can practice some balancing techniques." she offered.

Flamepaw's nest rustled as his lifted his head eagerly. "Really? What if I can't ever balance again?"

"I'm sure there are plenty of cats who loose their tail and are able to find their balance." she replied, "Besides, you need to move around and get some fresh air. Poppyclaw should have shown Twilightsky how to help you, saying it will be like helping a kit find their paws after their eyes open."

The dark ginger shadow nodded, "Alright, get Twilightsky then. No offense, but I don't think you would be strong enough to hold me up if I fall over."

"None taken," she replied back, adding in teasingly, "You might just flatten me like you used to do when your eyes opened first all those moons ago."

A purr of amusement filled the air, lifting her spirits as much as her brothers. With a flick of her tail, she padded out of the den. Knowing how many steps she had to take to reach the outside. Slipping out, she checked the air and wind. All seemed calm with a gentle cold breeze. Tasting the air, the cold didn't seem bad enough to aggravate the fever Flamepaw still had. Still, she twitched her ears, already growing colder and colder with each passing heartbeat.

Licking her nose idly, she angled her ears to the warrior's den, about five cat-lengths away. She could hear the rasp of a rough tongue working quickly through sleep-rumpled fur. With confident steps, she approached, picking up the familiar grassy scent of Jaggedcloud. For some reason, the she-cat always smelled like crushed up grasses to her, she supposed it was only her nose being stronger now that her sight was made of murky darkness and shadows.

Jaggedcloud paused, a small trill in her throat in question. "Is something the matter with Flamepaw?"

"Nothing bad to report." Icepaw answered her warmly, "I just wanted to see if Twilightsky can help Flamepaw find his balance well enough to spend some time outside before the Dawn Patrol returns."

"Are you sure he wouldn't mind with those cats in there?" she murmured worriedly.

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" she replied dryly, "Besides, their going to be doing hunting lessons out there until Maggot comes back before going to hunt altogether."

"I still think it's not right to have BloodClan-cats here." The reddish-brown and white tabby she-cat admitted.

Icepaw looked away. "Well, it's Morningstar's decision. We have to put faith in him for it."

"And what about Poppyclaw having a tom for a mate? I heard the toms grumbling about it. Is it true? Should he no longer be a medicine cat for that?" she asked, her muzzle close to her ear to whisper.

The apprentice flicked her ear irritably. "Why should it matter? He is working the same as always."

"Well, wouldn't it be the same for all medicine cats? We wouldn't want them to favor their loved one more then the others." She pointed out.

"If that was the case then I would have favored Pigeonstream and Flamepaw more." Icepaw reminded her, "They're my loved ones as well, but as a medicine cat, I have to care for everyone equally. In that sense, I wonder mostly about if a medicine cat has kits if it's really so bad. Can't the other cat in the relationship look after them or even one of the queens or elders? I don't know what the big deal is exactly, probably why Poppyclaw hasn't made me a full fledged medicine cat."

Jaggedcloud seemed less troubled as she nodded. "That is true, all medicine cats have siblings who are warriors and parents who are as well. Although, would it mean you are allowed to have a mate?"

She shook out her fur with a nod. "Who knows, I mean, who would want to be mates with a blind cat? Let alone one who has to be around the sick often! It wouldn't be that healthy I'm sure. Physically speaking at least."

"True, but I just hope StarClan will allow it. I mean, they might turn on Poppyclaw and revoke his ability to see signs."

Icepaw blinked, confused and feeling a little scared. Could StarClan be so cruel to do such a thing to Poppyclaw? The cat who worked so hard for his Clan? Frowning, she turned away to head into the den. She had to forget about it. There had to be some bending of the rule. There was no way it could be as stiff as a rock and not be flexible as a blade of grass. She had no answer to the worries Jaggedcloud had, but now she was considering it deeply herself.

Questions that only StarClan could answer, now that she thought more about it. She approached the dark cream tom with blue-gray patches. She could imagine him curled up with his fluffy tail over his nose, a blue-gray paw covering half of his flat-face; his flanks rising and falling slowly in a deep slumber. She closed her eyes as the picture entered her mind as clearly as though she could see it. Reaching forward, she placed a cold paw on top of his outstretched dark cream leg.

With a snort, his body jerked beneath her paw. Her frosty indigo eyes opening with amusement as she pictured his orange eyes blinking up at her in worry and wonder. His tail tip flicking nervously for the state of his apprentice in her care among the BloodClan and kittypets. Blinking a friendly greeting, she spoke.

"Flamepaw is getting restless, his fever had broken overnight and isn't so bad today. You may take him into camp, granted you can get him on his paws safely. I assume Poppyclaw taught you how to help his balance?"

Twilightsky must have nodded as he began to rise to his paws. "He has, I know I have to be patient with him as he learns to live with so much of his tail missing."

Icepaw nodded, "Excellent. He is waiting for you. By now Jaggedcloud would be leading a dawn patrol to make sure FearClan is staying in their own borders. So, I want Flamepaw back in the apprentice's den when they return. I think that would be enough time for him to practice his balancing skills and walking. When the sun-high patrol comes back you may help him back out to continue practice. After I see to him to make sure he isn't too warm or cold."

Twilightsky grunted. "Of course, and those strays?"

"Tumbleheart will have them practicing hunting skills in camp." she replied, "So it should feel more like he is part of a training session, especially if you have him practice the hunter's crouch while you're at it."

The tom seemed still unhappy, but he brushed by without a complaint. She may be an apprentice, but this was her patient. As much as she would love to do this duty, she knew it was Twilightsky's job as a mentor to encourage their apprentice to recover. Somewhat soothed, she headed back out, a pang of sorrow filling her up at the thought of not having enough herbs for the sick.

She began to leave the warrior's den lost in her thoughts as the camp seemed to be bustling with activities. She blinked, realizing how lively it had become with the new cats. It was almost like BushClan wasn't under so much stress of FearClan or greencough. Yet, she knew that it was still under a lot of stress. She could practically taste it in the air. Twilightsky was unhappy about the new cats, while Tumbleheart is as focused as though she was hunting a nervous rabbit with the new cats. The medicine den was full of sickness: two kits, an elder, a warrior and a deputy.

Shaking out her fur, she padded over to the medicine den, carefully skirting around the camp to check on the elders. From scent alone, she could tell that Talonshine and Shadewhisker weren't doing so good. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. They smelled musky, but not sick. A pang filled her at the realization that they were stretched so thin, their bedding wasn't being seen to. Horrified, she pushed her way into the den.

"Talonshine? Shadewhisker?" she called gently, before an unfamiliar scent bathed her tongue.

"Icepaw?" Shadewhisker meowed, a dark shadow moving in the din of the den. "We haven't expected you to come over here, unless..."

"Is something wrong with Dappledrift?" Talonshine suddenly asked, the sound of dirt being scraped as the skinny elderly tom stood up.

"No, I just wanted to check on you." she replied, puzzled as she added in, "Although, there seems to be another cat here?"

"You are correct." the familiar mew answered her, a warm comforting scent coming closer to her. It was Jasmine and among his strange scent was the scent of the musty bedding. "I thought I should help bring some clean bedding for these cats. Is that alright?"

"It's fine." She replied, feeling relieved, "Perfect actually. I was about to apologize to them for being so busy I couldn't come to help clean out the old bedding and asking Morningstar to have Turtlepaw come and do it."

"Well, I felt weird not doing anything in particular to contribute. Poppy told me, no I'm sorry. Poppyclaw had told me that apprentice's look after the elders to help understand the respect they deserve. He also mused it might have been some time since they have been seen to since so many cats have been sick. So I offered to try and help while he got some rest."

Icepaw nodded, "Thank you. When you're finished come see me at the medicine den. I can give you some moss we stored away so you can use it for their nests."

"Alright, I'm sure Shadewhisker and Talonshine can point me the right way." the cream and white tom mewed.

"Of course we would." Shadewhisker meowed, "Someone has to when you're new around here."

Icepaw blinked warmly, dipping her head in thanks before backing out of the den. Her heart lifting as she padded to the medicine den. The underground den was filled with the stench of sickness. It was sour and bitter, easily not for the squeamish cats to handle. Despite her nose and ears being stronger then the others, she still walked in, having grown used to it days ago. Carefully, she checked on each cat by order of who was closest to the entrance.

Dappledrift was first, her breathing was weak as she struggled to breathe, each wracking cough making her wheeze with the effort. She touched a pawpad to the elder's ear, feeling a fever scorching through the once powerful warrior. She felt downward, realizing that the elder was going down hill fast. Her bones were sharp beneath her pelt, each scar that bore no fur felt hot to the touch, much like sun-scorched stones. Her fur was matted, rumpled with signs that she had not groomed herself today, but had attempted to before giving up.

The elder was close to death, each breath weakening as greencough ravaged through her body. Slowly, she pressed a paw onto the shoulder of Dappledrift, feeling her weakly move. Those fever-clouded yellow eyes possibly looking up at her with some form of admiration of how hard she had tried to keep them all alive.

"It's alright." the elder croaked, "I've lived a long life and bore the greatest cats I could ever birth. I don't fear seeing StarClan young one. You have done your job."

The assurance should have soothed her, but instead, she felt a painful emotion in her chest. She must have failed somewhere, but with a shake of her head she looked away, closing her eyes as she spoke. "StarClan, watch over Dappledrift and guide her to your comforting lands full of prey and warm patches of sunshine. Allow her to live just long enough to tell her mate and kits goodbye. Let her speak her mind before she crosses onto the journey you must take her on, please."

"StarClan will fetch me when it is right." Dappledrift murmured, "Just be swift, Icepaw."

She nodded, turning and padding away. She poked her head out of the underground den, pricking her ears before she heard Foxgaze and called out to him. "Foxgaze, fetch Morningstar and Taloneshine quickly! I need the help of fast and strong paws!"

There was hesitation, before she heard the young tom bound over to the leader's den with an urgent meow that she couldn't make out. Soon the paw-steps of the very pale cream tom were rushing towards her while the younger tom hurried to the elders den, only to be halted by Talonshine appearing on his own accord. He may have been old, but he was as fast as a young warrior. With them gathered, she lead them into the cramped den.

"What did you need us for?" Foxgaze asked softly, probably trying to not breathe in the sickly stench. "Is it Dappledrift?"

Icepaw stopped by the nest, the old she-cat moved slowly, answering for her. "My time is coming, Foxgaze. I wanted to see my mate and kits one last time."

"You can't be going yet." Foxgaze protested, sounding almost like a kit.

"Mother, please, you still have more life left within you, don't you?" Morningstar asked softly.

The elderly queen moved slightly while her mate moved closer. "I feel the pull to my new home, Morningstar. I can't stay forever, but I won't be gone. I'll still watch over you and wait for your father to come join me when it is time."

"I'll miss you, my precious flower." Talonshine murmured, pure emotion flooding out of him.

"And I will miss being here with you." she breathed weakly. "Foxgaze, I trust you to believe in your older brother when things are bleak. Morningstar, I trust you to remember the strengths of your younger brother. Talonshine, I trust you to be proud of all of our grand-kits. Who knows, maybe they will remind you of me when they can visit you again. Tell them our stories, just as we always have before."

Icepaw listened patiently, sitting adjacent to them before going to check on the other cats. The pair of sickly kits were curled up together. Blazekit was small and weak, growing weaker as well. Gently, she picked up the weakening kit and brought it over to Dappledrift. She could feel their eyes on her as she placed the young kit with his grandmother.

"He is weakening, if he goes, I hope he goes soon with you." Icepaw breathed, "I believe that you can help walk him to the stars with you."

Dappledrift slowly curled around the moon old kit. "Foxgaze, I will protect this kit in StarClan and teach him to be a powerful hunter. Just like he always wanted to be in life. I'll even give him his own warrior name so he can be a warrior with his brother in StarClan." she was starting to sound breatheless.

"That's enough." Foxgaze meowed. "More than enough for me and Applemist."

"Tell her and Maplekit that we love them always."

"I will." her youngest son promised, the emotion thick in his mew.

Icepaw closed her eyes, wrapping her tail around her paws. "I'm so sorry that I cannot do anything more." she dipped her head in the deepest respects. "I can give them poppy seeds so they can slip away in their sleep. It's what Poppyclaw would do."

"Then give it to us." the elder rasped.

Icepaw nodded, looking to her patient's kin for their okay. Talonshine's shadowy form nodded, along with Morningstar and Foxgaze. "I will go get the poppy seeds. Foxgaze, if you wish, you can fetch Applemist to come say goodbye to your kit."

"I will ask her." he replied solemnly, leaving the den in a hurry.

Her leader sighed softly. "Of all the kits, I was hoping Blazekit would survive with Bubblekit."

"There is a chance Bubblekit might not make it." Icepaw replied as she headed to her store of herbs. "There is even a chance Lightkit and Amberkit will catch the sickness."

"I almost wish they had." Morningstar confessed, "Just so Foxgaze won't think StarClan is punishing him."

"Perhaps they are." she replied evenly as she pulled out the pod of poppy seeds and brought them over, placing them at her paws. "He did harm Tumbleheart and refused to share prey with the cats she brought to help. Still, I doubt StarClan would ever bring sickness upon a Clan for something that petty."

"You never know." Morningstar mumbled as Applemist came into the den.

The warm milk-scent clung to her pelt as she approached the elder and kit. She could almost see those yellow eyes begging that this isn't the end or just some horrible bad dream. The latter of which Icepaw was familiar with. When her mother, Gingerstrike, died she had hoped it was all a bad dream. It wasn't and that made it hurt all the more.

"I'm so sorry." Icepaw started, the grieving queen's head snapped at her as a bitter growl of emotion filled the den.

"Why couldn't you save them? What kind of medicine cat gives up like this?" she snarled.

"They have grown weak, Dappledrift is on the end of her life. I am only providing her poppy seeds until I can see what I can salvage from what we stored away. There is a chance Blazekit could survive, but if I have nothing to help him then he might not make it."

"She is only an apprentice," Morningstar scolded Applemist sternly. "She isn't a miracle worker and if she was no cat would die. We know you are grieving, but do not blame an apprentice."

"If she was a full medicine cat it wouldn't change anything then?" Foxgaze challenged.

Talonshine spoke up next, scolding his youngest son. "Silence! It's leafbare, no herb grows during this time without the frost and ice killing them. Unless we can find herbs that survived then these cats can be saved."

"We're stretched thin enough." Morningstar reminded them. "This is a medicine den anyway, it's not the place for these arguments."

Icepaw blinked, an idea forming in her head. "What if I take a warrior with me to find herbs?"

"You have done enough." Applemist scowled.

"No, if I can find catmint, I can save these cats, maybe even Blazekit. It might not be too late. Poppyclaw or even Jasmine might know." She offered.

As though speaking his name had summoned him, the cream and white tom appeared. "What about Poppyclaw or me?"

Foxgaze rounded on him. "Were you spying on us?"

"I came for moss so I can finish cleaning the elder den's bedding." Jasmine answered calmly, before prompting again, "Is there something else I can do?"

"Have you ever seen catmint in the Twoleg Place?" Icepaw asked.

The advisor seemed perplexed, before answering. "Well, in a few gardens I have. Why?"

"We need it." Morningstar answered. "Foxgaze can finish the elders den if you take her to Twoleg Place and find the herb."

"It might be tricky for her to navigate there." Jasmine warned.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." Icepaw answered, shaking off some poppy seeds for Dappledrift. "Lick those up, I'll have Poppyclaw come and keep an eye on everyone."

"I'll stay here until she passes." Talonshine offered, "Just so she won't be alone and neither will Blazekit."

The apprentice nodded as she went to fetch the moss for Foxgaze, she brought it back in balled up heaps. "Here, this should be enough. We'll try to make it back before dusk."

"You trust this stranger?" the dark ginger tom growled.

"Just as much as I trust you to fetch Poppyclaw once you get the moss into the elder's den." Icepaw turned her blind gaze to Applemist. "I cannot promise Blazekit will be strong enough to recover fully, but I will try to find catmint to save him and everyone else. Go back to Maplekit while I go to places a blind cat really shouldn't go."

Applemist hesitated, before her bleary shadow nodded. "Take care, may StarClan light your path."

Jasmine finally mewed, "Come with me then. We do not have much time to loose. Tell me to slow down if you need me to. There has to be some nests nearby that have the herb."

Icepaw nodded, squeezing her way through the throng of cats and heading into the unknown. Worry plagued her along with the anxieties of leaving the comfort of the medicine den. However, she pushed it as far down as she should. She had to for the sake of being a medicine cat. If there was herbs across the large flat thunderpath then there was hope that she could save her patients before any more of them died.

.

It wasn't long after leaving the BushClan camp that Jasmine had weaved her through the undergrowth and into the open expanse of the flat thunderpath. It's strange black stone was as rough and unforgiving as the battle she experienced moons ago. She was a warrior apprentice back then and had fought tooth and claw before she was wounded so badly she had a limp for half a moon or so. Everything had moved so fast back then. Now, it felt like a long distant memory.

She was now going blind just because of how she was born. Her ears and nose often burned beneath the sun, but in the cold it was harder to tell. They still got burned, but she wasn't bothered by it anymore. She was used to the pain while her sight failed ever so slowly. A shadowy fog had taken over her vision since then. In the murky fog shadows of faded colors moved. She had no depth perception nor could she see far enough into the shadowy fog.

Even now, she trailed after Jasmine through the icy snow, the whiteness of it shining brightest where the sun hit it. So much so she could vaguely see the shape of the tom in front of her. His faded colors barely a smudge in the shadows and white. He was trotting at an even pace while her shorter legs trotted half a cat-length behind. She was panting as she followed him into the unknown, her fur prickling uncertainly. There were monsters here and they could easily wake up to pounce on them. With her being as blind as she was, she could easily run into a monster's paws and be their fresh-prey.

Soon, she felt Jasmine's tail tip brushing against her nose. A silent signal for her to slow down, she assumed. She slowed her pace as they soon stopped. Their billowing breaths heaving as Jasmine looked around. She could tell from how loud his panted whenever his face turned to where she was, as though double checking they were safe. Soon, his paws crunched near-silently on the packed snow. His tail hanging low as she padded forward a step, the tip of the tail a little higher then it was before.

"It's newborn-kitten length tall." Jasmine informed her as he stepped out of her way. "You can handle this."

She nodded, touching the cold stone ledge with her nose. Measuring it experimentally, she stepped up onto it safely. With a nod, she allowed Jasmine to continue into the hedges. She crouched low as she crawled underneath them, their branches raking through her fur like claws as Jasmine started to climb up the hedge. She wasn't sure where exactly they were, but she followed his lead. Placing her paws carefully as she scaled up them.

Soon enough, Jasmine lead her onto a very thin and precarious ledge. She fought for balance as she dug her claws into what felt like a frozen tree. Jasmine waited patiently until she felt she could move. Keeping her belly low, she followed the confident tom along the ledge. Her claws aching as she crept along at a slower pace. They passed to a garden that had the scent of another cat in the air. The cream and white tom lifted his tail in greeting.

"Hello, does your Housefolk grow catmint here that we can take some sprigs?" he called out in a warm meow.

The cat, an ancient kittypet by the sounds of it, answered. "We have them inside, but I don't see why you young cats would want them."

"I'm flattered," Jasmine purred, leaping down. "You stay up there, I'll be back with as much as I can carry."

"That will do." Icepaw answered shakily, clinging to the ledge with all her might.

Jasmine turned his attention to the kittypet, "My name is Jasmine. My friend here has some cats who are sick and catmint is the best cure for their ailment. I'll still leave plenty for you, I promise."

"My nose isn't as good as it used to be." the kittypet, a tom, admitted. "So feel free to take as much as you like."

"Are they home?"

"Not at all."

Soon their voices faded, leaving Icepaw feeling alone and cold to the bone. She wanted to relax, but it was hard. She wasn't even sure how she was going to turn around, after all she didn't trust her balance with how difficult it was to move into position as it was. Her tail tip twitched as she began to work on turning around. By the time she managed to, with a few minor slips and squeals, Jasmine had come back with the tantalizing scent of fresh catmint.

Her ears perked up, surprised that Twolegs would keep such a precious plant. With goodbyes and plenty of thanks, Jasmine lead the way back to the hedge and climbed down with care. Or at least, it's what it sounded like to her ears. With a grumble, she followed digging her claws into the familiar bark of the hedge. Slowly, she made her way down and back on the other side of the hedge. Her claws ached, but she gave a great big sigh of relief.

"Not fun?" Jasmine mumbled around the catmint.

"It was hard to stay up there. I might need more practice, especially if we plan to use the Twolegs for catmint!" she shook out her fur, shaking each paw in turn.

Jasmine grunted, flicking his tail dismissively, "You'll get used to it. When the sickness is gone, I can take you here to help build that skill."

"I'd appreciate it." Icepaw meowed, following his lead again. "I'm sure by then my claws won't be aching."

A rumbling purr was her only answer, not that she minded. She felt more at ease now that they could potentially save the cats back in camp. Perhaps Jasmine would earn Foxgaze's trust if Blazekit survived the sickness. Her heart felt lighter the closer they got to camp. No monster woke to disturb them, almost as though StarClan was telling her that this was the path they needed to be on to survive this trying leafbare.

At last, Icepaw felt more than confident in her skills. She was still young and always learning, but she had faith that she was now following the path she had been born to follow. The one she was now so sure that she should have been on since she was five moons old. A path that was just as exciting and difficult enough for her to pad along without her old anxieties fighting to control her paws. Assured, she walked all the way back to camp with Jasmine, this time walking beside him as though she had walked this path for many, many moons.


Author Note:

Over 5,000 words long, I am on a roll with these chapters lately!
I'm excited for where this story is going, I do have a basic idea how to get it to where I want, but I do not have it set in stone, so I'm doing my best!

Also, my apologies for taking long breaks in between. Life gets in the way, but I will get this story done before this year is over! (or at least attempt to! XD)

Anywho, thank you for reading, have a great day/night! - NightSky