Chapter 36


FearClan/Lion

With each step, Lion had kept her word. They stopped when the kits needed to eat, taking the chance to scavenge for food, meet back up and move on. Three sunrises had passed and with it the sight of home not far away. Looking over the Twoleg stone-bridge it was time to make a final effort to return to FearClan. There was nothing she could say to prepare these cats. Therefore, she dove in head first.

The ice still silenced the river, it's comforting sound always vanishing every leafbare, but she could feel it in her bones. Soon, it would be free from it's confines and run free once more. She slowed, looking back to the cats she was leading, they followed more warily and with a hunger in their eyes. Would the territory be big enough to feed all of them? She had to hope it would be as they approached the final thunderpath between them and the stone-bridge that lead the way to the territory of her heart.

Pair by pair, each cat ran across the path. Their paws kicking up melting snow as they dashed across. Showers of blackened slush being splashed up by the monster's round paws. Nearly coating every cat with it's sickening stench. Lion made sure to not let her leg get in the line of the slush, Knowing full well her angry red wound was struggling to heal on it's own. She cleaned it often, but it was still painful and, on that day at least, it was beginning to ooze a strange yellow liquid.

She felt fine, or she was at least telling herself that. In truth, she felt uncomfortable in her own fur. Almost as though her leafbare thick fur was too warm for her. It was only the beginning and she knew it. With a final nod, she raced across with the last cats, keeping pace with them as she tried to not use her injured leg. She was faster with it off the ground, but she knew it wouldn't be long until running was a distant memory.

Swiftly, she padded to the front of the cats, counting every single one of them before she was satisfied that their crossing had been successful. With a final flick of her tail, she lead the way along the river bank, following it to get to where she, Berry, and Moth had passed through for what they believed was the last time. A small pang of grief found it's way into Lion's heart. In truth, only one of them didn't make it back, but Lion liked to think Berry's spirit was following them somehow to be home. Whether it was true or not, she didn't know for sure; but she did know it gave her comfort.

A comfort that her friend would find her way home like the hero she is. With each slow limp lurching her closer and closer to home. The sun was beginning its descent, bathing the land a deep dark orange while the clouds that were rolling in from the horizon a deep scarlet. Her tail held high as she lead the Giant Garden Fragment deeper into the marsh that she called home. Soon, Quail was by her side as she picked up speed.

Soon the frosted tendrils of brush clattered behind her as she wove her way through like a fish in water. Frost decorating her pelt, making the cold sink straight to her skin as she rounded the familiar trail and found the camp entrance. At last, she could breathe in the scents of home as she pushed her way through to the other side, breaking into the open clearing just as the sun began to sink into the horizon far beyond their view.

Instantly, eyes were trained on her as she limped into the clearing. The familiar creamy brown she-cat staring with a single honey-colored eye that was full of shock. Feeling triumphant, she let the cats pour in behind her, exhausted from their long trek, but already eagerly sniffing around for a place to sleep. Soon, the older she-cat rushed Lion, her pelt spiking in hostility.

"You actually came back?" she huffed out, stopping before her, her single eye raking over her appearance. "How?"

"I didn't die as a kit when my mother was chased off her territory." Lion pointed out gruffly, "Nor on the way to being your plaything. You figure it out and tell me, because I honestly can't say how I made it back alive."

"Where is the leader?" Heather meowed, take me to him this instant.

Lion raised her tail, "With pleasure."

Before Heather could open her jaws to speak again, Quail was soon sidled up to her. "Is this ragged she-cat causing you trouble?"

"This is Heather." Lion spoke slowly. "She was the one who sent me out to find you. She is surprised I made it back at all."

"With that limp, it's no wonder." Quail commented, before addressing Heather, "So, what is the meaning of sending three cats out to find the Giant Garden Fragment?"

"We need help putting BushClan into their place. Which would have been unneeded if some dumb kit didn't go to save them." Heather gestured to a familiar spot in the clearing, the den of reeds that was once Lion's den before she shared it with Hawk.

"What happened while Lion and Moth were gone?" He asked, his tone serious.

Heather scoffed. "A lot has happened, for example, we got hunted by some foxes and they killed Thistle, a kit, and Dusk, a she-cat who is only useful in being a Kit-Watcher."

"Poor Hawk." Lion whispered, staring at the den, unaware of whatever scorned look she might have been receiving.

"What do you mean poor Hawk? That she-cat has been doing nothing but messing with plants for sunrises now! If it has done anything it has been just eating food she hasn't even worked for." Heather snapped, lashing her tail.

"Never mind that!" Quail growled, "What else did she miss?"

"Why should it matter in what she missed?" Heather pointed out crossly, "Lion's never been one of us, she always had an adder for a tongue."

"Are you or are you not the cat in charge here?" Quail asked, clearly loosing his patience.

Heather flicked her tail to the massive gnarled root. "I was, but then that cream and white tom took over, saying he was an advisor of the Giant Garden Fragment."

"Jasmine, no need to be a stranger, come down here." Quail called, flicking his tail slightly.

Lion looked over as a cream and white tom jumped down from the gnarled roots of the massive willow tree. His frosty blue eyes unreadable as he padded over. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"Is something the matter?"

"Remember how I told you I lost track of my mate and never saw him again?" Jasmine asked, getting a nod in return. "I found him again and I wish to stay with him, but he can't leave where he is just yet. I wanted to request that Hawksight would take my place as the advisor here. I plan to walk her to where we could meet him on the night of the half moon. Would you be willing to let me go, or should I give up on being with him forever?"

Quail was silent, obviously troubled for a few heartbeats before dipping his head. "You are allowed to, I will not get in the way of your heart."

"Are you certain?" Jasmine asked, twitching his tail. "By then, Willow should be well again. Even though Hawksight would take my place as advisor, I will teach her all I can on how to advise properly along with her healing."

"Are you mad?" Heather exclaimed, "That is Clan-cat actions, we don't need it!"

"And Willow is to take over when he is twelve moons old." Jasmine pointed out, ignoring Heather. "He is at most six moons give or take. I want him to spend his next six moons learning from you and Shatter on how to be a proper leader to take over."

Quail nodded, "I see, I will tell Shatter to begin speaking with him if he is strong enough."

"Why is no one listening to me?" Heather growled, looking to Lion with hate in her eye. "What did you tell him?"

"The truth." Lion replied, "The truth of what I have gone through living as your plaything. The truth of what Hawk has to go through. The bullying, abuse, and pain. What have I done to deserve it? All I have done was hunt and take care of FearClan despite you being the cats who made my mother and I leave. I watched my mother die, I even kidnapped BushClan-cats for you and Cedar and nothing has gotten better. I'm tired of fighting for something that doesn't even want me here."

"You want to know why?" Heather hissed, gathering attention on them.

"Tell me, what did I do?" Lion inquired, anger and confusion burning from her chest.

The creamy brown she-cat lashed her tail. "Your father was supposed to be Cedar's mate long ago." She began, making Lion's blood run cold. "Bushstar betrayed Cedar, using her love against herself. He went with your filthy mother and had you. Then he goes to Cedar and had kits with her, only to steal her first born. Since you are his first born, you deserve everything."

Lion was silent, hardly able to stay standing on her paws. The dream she had when she desperately wanted to know. The words telling her she was an heiress in an unknown voice. It was all true, not something her mind conjured up to try and make sense. She stared at Heather, her honey-colored eye glittering with malice and hate, sparkling with a joy of telling her this truth that was kept from her for so long.

"So I was born?" Lion asked softly, taking Heather aback by the pain in her voice. "I was born and that was enough to give me punishment? That is why I work so hard without anything changing?" She was livid, but she swallowed it, fighting to remain composed.

"Don't play dumb," Heather tried to back track, "You obviously knew your place."

"No, I truly didn't know my place." Lion spoke coldly. "I knew I was looked down on, but I tried to be perfect for you and Cedar. Anything to never be killed like my mother. If all my hard work was for nothing, you should have told me. If I wasn't going to be able to earn your favor, then why am I here? Why do you make me think I can achieve anything here?"

"You should have known-"

"When no one tells you, how should you know?" Lion growled lowly, her anger spilling into each limb. "How long had you known?"

Heather didn't answer, her eye wide as though she was seeing the anger for the first time. Lion raked her gaze away, a rustle from the barrier caught her attention. It was the black and brown tom, Pounce, looking skinnier then she had ever seen him. If anyone would know, it was the former River-Cat who had been there since she was a kit.

"Pounce," she demanded, standing before him. "Did you know who my father was?"

The tom tipped his head to one side. "What brings this to your attention? I thought it never mattered to you on who your father was."

"It didn't before, but Heather told me that Bushstar was my father." Lion told him, narrowing her eyes. "Tell me if this is truth."

Pounce hesitated, before nodding. "It is."

"Why would you ask him?" Heather sounded offended, "Don't you trust me?"

"He was once my mother's friend before he killed her under Cedar's orders. I grew up with him around, I trust him more then your snake-tail."

Pounce nodded, "I promised Finch to not tell her. It was her dying wish, but since you can't keep Cedar's promise, why should I?"

"What do you mean?" Heather growled, "I never promised to not tell that flea-bitten she-cat who her father was."

"True, but you did promise to be leader after her, didn't you?"

"That advisor made me step down." Heather tried to explain.

"And you told Lion who her father is even though I told you I would never tell her unless someone else does against my will." Pounce snapped. "I even told you Finch promised me to never tell Lion. So you and Cedar agreed on it with me and then punish her over and over. I had thought that by now you would have stopped hurting her."

Lion stood still, watching for a long moment, before stepping forward. "Enough. I have heard enough. I'm going to my den and if I am gone before you wake, don't expect me to come back."

Pounce shrugged. "Do what you must. If you want to know the best place to live and still be close to the river, let me know. I know of a nice spot."

"I'd rather have a place where I can't be found." Lion replied honestly, "I'm sure it's a wonderful place, Pounce. I'll visit it some time."

Slowly, she padded to her den, head low and tail twitching. The storm inside her heart and mind filled her, making the fur on her shoulders rising with the anger and tension. The closer she got to what was once her den, the more aware she was of paw-steps following her. She turned her head to look, seeing it was Moth, but not even seeing him had lifted the rage beneath her pelt.

"I wanted to make sure Heather wouldn't try anything with your back turned." Moth explained awkwardly.

Lion stared blankly, before asking him, "Is this why you and Berry wanted to stay away? Because then I wouldn't be hurt anymore?"

"We felt guilty for holding you back and for a lot of things that couldn't be helped." Moth told her gently, "I just wanted you to finally be happy, we decided that we can prepare to leave should Heather still be cruel and bring it up to you and Hawk."

"I don't run away, Moth." Lion mewed softly, "You know that I would rather tear Heather apart myself. Just so she knows I am not running from her, I am running to keep her and the rest of this, whatever it is, safe from the anger inside me. Maybe I'm just being a thorn bush, but I would rather have a reason to not come back then run away."

Moth winced slightly, before admitting. "It's not like any of us had treated you well."

Lion stepped away, slipping into her old den, hardly surprised to see Hawk and Willow. Without a word, she padded to an empty nest and curled up in it. If Hawk had said anything, she didn't pay her any attention. All she was focused on, was why. Why did Heather look horrified that her treatment had been on something Lion, herself, couldn't control.

Was there something she was missing? Something that made Heather look like a cat seeing a monster come at her head on had to be important. Whatever it was, she was tired. So much so, it was as if her long journey to and from Twoleg Place was not the only journey. She had spent so much of her life full of hate because of Cedar and Heather actively having the others bully her, getting worse when Cedar died, and now they looked like they had just realized it was all wrong of them.

It hurt more that they hadn't believed it was wrong until she had to ask and get her answer. Fury was deep inside her, yet with a hefty sigh, she knew it was all she had. A rage that she couldn't do anything with. Nothing, not even bringing the Giant Garden fragment was going to save her from being mistreated. Being with the Giant Garden fragment had been far better for her, but here she was even more bitter and angry then before.

"Would you like someone to listen?" A familiar mew spoke to her, soothing her emotions in an instant. With one look, she saw the familiar dark brown tabby she-cat, her sparkling green eyes as welcoming as always.

Lion wanted to wail, bury her face into the younger she-cat and hide among her long fur. The pain in her chest grew more and more, until at last, she nodded with her vision wavering. "I don't know what to do." she admitted.

"Come now, tell me anything." She pressed gently, slowly laying beside her, her long fluffy tail curling around her.

The silver tabby tom even spoke up. "I'll go get some fresh air so you can both speak in peace, Hawksight."

"Thank you, stay near the den if you can." Hawksight called as the young tom slowly made his way out of the den.

"Willow has grown a lot." Lion murmured.

Hawksight nodded. "That he has, but he still has many more moons to grow into." She glanced to Lion. "Much like you and I do. Clan-cats change their names, but never does it mean they stop learning and growing into new moons of wisdom."

"I take it you heard what had happened outside." Lion whispered.

"A little bit." Her friend admitted, "Why don't you tell me your side though? How you felt and what is making you all upset."

"Upset? That's an understatement." Lion groaned, feeling more and more at ease. "I learned my mother, Finch, had been mates with BushClan's founding leader, Bushstar. The cat who FearClan despises most. And it was why they treated me like crow-food and made me feel less of a cat and despise them above all."

"Well that was how you felt before and I know that well." Hawksight pointed out, before adding in more seriously. "But how are you feeling now?"

Lion hesitated, before admitting. "Confused and hurt. They all just acted like they never thought it was wrong to do those things to me. Even when we are away, Moth kept acting like I never have an opinion and I'm unreasonable. Which I will admit, I am careless, but what do I have to care for? I'm stuck in a place that hurts me and I got stuck with a tom who gets jealous because I'm getting along with another tom."

Hawksight blinked, seeming to be in thought before nodding. "I think I get it. You feel misplaced and knowing your father has made FearClan realize they had followed blindly. Yet, your misplaced feeling continues even away because Moth had tried so hard to not be like the others that he ended up thinking like them anyway."

"That isn't the worst part." Lion told her. "He has feelings for me that I don't have for him and he thinks I have feelings for Quail, but I don't."

"Then who do you have feelings for?" She asked.

Lion looked away from the comforting green eyes. "I don't know. I like how Quail treats me with respect and I also like that Moth is trying to change to be a better cat. But, I never felt anything to any cat. All I ever felt was anger or hate and that was just because I get treated worse then a fox."

"I believe that." Hawksight mewed, resting her head on her paws. "I think they just have feelings for you, but Quail has been in a healthier group then this one, so you tend to lean to him more. It's not that you have feelings for him, you just want to feel validated and know that someone won't try to hurt you again. While Moth has, time and time again, hurt you in some way despite him not thinking he did."

"What if I choose the Giant Garden to live with?" She asked, glancing to her.

"Then that is where you feel you belong most. Perhaps you would find a cat who you can have feelings for. Who knows. The world is a big place, even those treated unfairly can find a place to call home."

"And you? What would happen to you if the Giant Garden fragment leaves with me? Who would protect you?" Lion asked softly.

"Willow would," Hawksight said with such certainty, that even Lion could believe it. "He has a good head on his shoulders and in six moons he will be an even better leader."

"I hope your right." Lion murmured.

"Is there anything else?" her friend asked gently.

Lion hesitated, thinking hard on what she could say. She felt she had said everything that bothered her, but she also knew one more thing was making her fur itch like there was a pesky flea in her pelt. Although, she would be far from surprised if it was the case, she hadn't been able to properly look after herself for a long while. Until, she felt she could bring it up.

"Heather looked shocked for having punished me all this time because of who my father is. I don't know why she looked like that. She knew who he was long before I did."

Hawksight listened, before looking to the den wall. "I see, I wish I knew why so I could tell you. Whatever it may be, I'm sure it wasn't your imagination. I'm sure there is a reason, I just don't know what it could be. StarClan would never know, so I cannot ask them."

"So she has to tell us to give answers." Lion whispered.

"Perhaps, but sometimes there is no need for answers." She promised her friend, "Sometimes, you just need to know who is there for you and who isn't. Willow and I will always be by your side, that is a promise we will never break, no matter how many moons it will take for one of us three to die."

Lion nodded slowly, sighing softly as she came to terms with the truth of the matter. She felt at ease with Hawksight, even if her name had changed, she would always be that understanding cat who tried her best no matter what. A cat that she could lean on and depend on more then any other. Now, she knew she couldn't leave. Hawksight was the only cat she could speak with comfortably with her heart exposed.

For a tough she-cat like herself, it was like having a younger sister to be with. Something that she would never let go and desperately wants to cling to. No matter how hard life could get for her, she had her faith in Hawksight and whatever that may come. Moth can change, he doesn't have to, but he wants to. Perhaps, the tom he becomes will be the tom who she can let in. A tom she can finally trust, but for now, she could only dream of a place where Moth was only good at acting the part of being like the others and being truly what she needed.

Strangely, this thought alone was more then enough to give her pleasant dreams. Dreams where Berry has survived. Dreams of her injury having been seen to much sooner. Dreams of a place where she felt at home. The only dream she had ever continued to dream of even with the welcoming trickle and gurgle of the river that washed all of the negative emotions out of her mind to a faraway place that she couldn't see.


Author Note:

If anyone had read Lost Secrets, Chapter 4: A Broken Heart you would know exactly why Heather is shocked. If you hadn't, I recommend it. A lot of what goes on inside Heather is in there. Especially in how she grew up to how she treated Lion.

I am very sorry for taking a long time between chapters, life keeps getting in the way and makes it difficult, but I keep coming back to make sure I update and write more chapters whenever I can. I will finish this story, I am determined to.

That is all, thank you for reading and have a nice day/night - NightSky