Here is the promised long chapter. This is where it's getting dark...

Also, there are spoilers for season 1 and 2 if you haven't seen it already.


Chapter 2:

Ellie couldn't get this encounter out of her mind for the rest of the day.

Her colleagues were looking at her questioningly when she stepped out of DI Hardy's office, but she could only shrug. She couldn't imagine what had led to this rather unlikely emotional outburst.

Ellie waited for him to return so she'd be able to apologize, but Hardy didn't show. She wasn't sure what to make of it. Part of her still resented him for running out on her like a child having a tantrum and she continued being angry because he left her no other choice but to take charge of the station for him. And he's complaining about other people not doing their jobs, she railed in her head.

But when the day came to an end and there was still no sign of her boss, Ellie began to worry. She recalled the details of their row and what Hardy had said to her at the end of it:

"Because there's nowhere else I belong either!"

That sentence shocked her. It told her way more than Hardy probably intended her to know. Ellie remembered the difference in his character compared to when he first arrived here years ago. She thought he seemed sadder now, for some reason. Or did she just not know him as well back then? Was she too focused on Danny's case and her own heartbreak that followed to notice the sadness hiding beneath anger and his bad temper?

And if it was new, how did it come to this? What happened in the last two years that made him so sad?

Ellie regretted now that she didn't press harder on this topic before. She should know about this, shouldn't she? Weren't they friends? Sort of?

Alec Hardy had been there for her during Joe's trial. He was the only one she could talk to, the only one in her whole town who didn't seem to hate her for not realizing that she'd been sleeping next to a murderer. The thought still sent chills down Ellie's spine and made her sick.

Hardy wasn't great with being compassionate and he had a lot of his own demons to battle at the time. But he did manage to help her navigate through her conflicted feelings of love and hate for her husband.

And now, Ellie realized, it was her turn to be there for him. Whatever it was that he was going through at the moment.

Ellie packed up and headed home, deciding to visit Hardy later tonight to see how he was doing. Distraction, until then, came in form of her boys. Tom, who was on speaking terms with her again but who started to hang out with some questionable new friends, hadn't done his chores at home and Ellie had a brief moment of wanting to strangle him for his laziness. Ugh, bloody teenagers!

He was now sulking in his room after receiving a proper bollocking. And then there was her little one, Fred, who didn't want to go to bed tonight. He kicked and screamed for the better part of an hour before finally drifting off from sheer exhaustion.

When Ellie let herself fall onto the sofa afterwards, she was so knackered she could've probably fallen asleep by just closing her eyes.

But, suddenly, she thought of Hardy again.

She looked at her phone. It was late. Later than she'd planned for driving over to check on him. He was probably already asleep. Putting the phone away again, she considered staying exactly where she was and just wait until tomorrow to try and have a chat with him. She'd probably spare herself some more yelling; today's quota was more than fulfilled.

But there remained an uneasiness within her. She couldn't really describe it. Didn't know where it was coming from, either. But, eventually, it made her mutter some curses under her breath and get her jacket after all. Something told her that it was better to sort this out right away rather than wait until the morning.

She stuck her head into Tom's room, prompting him to hurriedly put his phone away and glare at her.

"Mum!" he huffed in annoyance.

He behaved suspicious enough that it would be worth asking what he was doing, but right now Ellie simply didn't have the energy. "I'm going out for a bit, but I'll be back soon. Keep an eye on your brother, will you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Out. Now." he hissed.

"Leave the door open or you won't hear him. Call me if there's an emergency." she said unimpressed, turning away.

"I heard him before." Tom muttered, but Ellie just rolled her eyes, refusing to be pulled into another argument.

She left the house and went off towards the coastal end of Broadchurch. It was where Hardy lived. Not in a million years would she have imagined him moving here, let alone so close to the sea that he hated so much and the spot where they'd found poor Danny Latimer years ago. His house was close to everything in the sense that it was visible from almost everywhere in town, yet the location up the hill was also very secluded. He had not one direct neighbour.

It did fit him pretty well, actually.

Ellie parked her car and started the short walk towards Hardy's house. The light was still on. At least she didn't drive over in vain. Ellie wrapped her arms around herself as a gust of wind made her shiver. Up in front she saw the white curtain by the front door blow outwards.

It made her pause.

Did he leave his door open? It's cold outside. Why would he do that?

Without consciously noticing it, Ellie's steps grew a bit faster. A sixth sense somewhere in her suspicious copper mind came to live and it warned her to be on her guard. She tried to ignore it, refusing to act on the assumption that the world was a hopelessly bad place where bad things continuously happened. That wasn't her view. At least it didn't use to be.

She reached the entrance door. It was open. Ellie carefully stepped inside. "Hello? Hardy, it's me, Ellie Miller."

She listened, but there was no sound except the wind and an echo in her ears. Only when she also noticed the tightness in her chest, Ellie realized that it was her heart, pounding ominously against her ribcage.

"Sir? Are you there? Your door was open." she called out firmly. If he was here, he must have heard her by now. She swallowed, stepping further into a simple but surprisingly comfortable looking living room. She'd never been here before. He'd never invited her.

She looked around. All seemed quite normal. No signs of a break-in or a struggle. As if he just went to bed and forgot to close the door and turn out the lights. It was eerily calm. "Sir?" she called and after a sigh and a gulp, she tried something different. "Alec?"

No reply.

The uneasiness within her grew to worry but she tried to mask it. "I suggest you better answer now because you know I will barge into your bedroom if I have to." She waited, looking around for clues to her boss's whereabouts, but nothing immediately jumped to her attention. "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you." she said and made her way towards a hallway where she assumed the bedroom was located.

He better be there, she thought anxiously while the alarm bells in her head continued to ring, making her aware of various horrible scenarios she could walk in on at the end of the hallway.

Could be his heart. Doesn't he have a pacemaker nowadays? Could he still have an attack? Maybe he's lying somewhere, unable to move or to call for help. He could be unconscious. He could be…

Ellie abruptly redirected her train of thoughts.

Maybe he just went for a walk. Yes, or maybe he's just fast asleep.

Suddenly, Ellie stopped. As she was walking passed it, she spotted something on the dining table. It was the only thing lying there. The light above was illuminating the rest of the room. Like a beacon it was calling attention towards it.

A piece of paper. No… it was an envelope. A simple, short name written on it in navy-blue ink.

Something dark haunted Ellie's thoughts. She stood there frozen. Her mind was empty. Swallowing her stuttering breath, her heart pounding, she shuffled closer to the table. Her fingers felt numb and trembling as she picked up the envelope.

It was her name.

Ellie.

Nothing else. Not Miller. Just Ellie.

She remembered the last time Hardy had called her by her first name. When he told her about Joe. Tears automatically sprung to Ellie's eyes and she didn't even know what this was about yet.

Darkness spread, but she was unwilling to see. She only knew that it was bad.

Very bad.

Ellie opened the envelope. In her clumsy, shaking hands the contents spilled out. A folded piece of paper and a photograph.

The latter, she picked up first, studying it closely. It was old, crinkled edges and folding lines through the middle of the picture. It showed a younger Alec Hardy, sans the scruffy stubble of a beard, the everlasting frown and the tired lines around his eyes. There were wrinkles, but they only showed joy; a bright, wholehearted happy smile on his face.

She almost didn't recognize him.

Safely in his arms rested the cause of his happiness: A beautiful, tiny baby bundle. Wrapped in pink blankets, eyes closed.

Daisy. His daughter.

Ellie's tears welled up more. He must have been a totally different man back then. She had never seen him smile like this.

All these warm emotions almost made her forget the letter that accompanied the picture. Quickly, Ellie unfolded it. There was just one line, written unmistakably in Hardy's handwriting. And suddenly everything went cold. Her horrible dark thoughts became reality:

"Give this to Daisy. Tell her I love her."

Ellie struggled to take the next breath. The room swam in front of her eyes. No way, her mind screamed, it can't be! Was he serious? Was this exactly what she thought it was? It sounded almost like… he was saying goodbye. Was this…

Ellie's stomach turned; she wanted to throw up.

Was this... a suicide note?

"Because there's nowhere else I belong either!"

"Oh my god." Ellie whispered, his words from earlier were ringing in her ears. She pressed one hand in front of her mouth but it was shaking. Everything was shaking.

Crumbling.

Breaking.

Her instincts had been right. He was sad. More so than usual. Ellie had yelled at him today. She had forced this sentence out, this verbal realization of not belonging anywhere. Did she prompt this? Would he have been okay if she hadn't pushed so hard? Was it her fault?

"Oh, god. Oh, shit." Ellie cursed, wiping her nose, trembling in panic.

No, she couldn't afford to panic. Nothing was her fault yet. She just needed to find him.

Quickly. Now. Get moving!

She yelled at herself, but her body wasn't complying. She couldn't believe this was happening. Should she have seen the signs before? He'd been unhappy by default since she knew him, but he seemed to be driven by his pain. It pushed him to do better, didn't it? What changed?

No time, Ellie reminded herself sternly and finally a jolt went through her and she jumped into action. She snatched the letter and the photograph from the table and put it in her pocket. Her other hand fished for her phone.

While waiting for someone at the police station to pick up she hurried quickly through the rest of the house, bravely pushing doors open without knocking.

"Wessex Police, how can I-"

"Shut up, Bob." Ellie cut in. "It's Ellie. I need you to ready everyone at the station. Call them at home if you must. We need to find DI Hardy."

"What? Why would we want to do that?"

It was a joke, aiming at diverting her obvious panic but it missed by miles. "Bob, I swear to god, this is serious! We need to find him."

"Alright, alright, I call the troops. What happened?"

Ellie finished searching the house but it remained empty. Fear and helplessness set in heavily. If he wasn't here, he was somewhere out there. How the bloody hell was she supposed to find him out there?! "I… I'm not sure. I think it's my fault." she swallowed, deciding not to disclose too much to her colleague and friend. Alec wouldn't want that. It was her name on the envelope. "Listen, just have the teams patrol the whole area around his house. Check everywhere. Call me immediately if you find him, understood?"

"Got it, Ellie. You sure you're alright? Should I send someone to you, too?"

"I'm fine." she replied quickly. "Call me the second you have news, okay?" She waited for affirmation and then hung up.

Next steps. Ellie tried to think logically – like he would – but fear got in the way. What if she was already too late? She couldn't bear losing another friend. Not again.

She hammered numbers into her phone once more, calling Alec. She doubted that she would reach him but she had to try at least. She paced his living room, one hand put to her side, an attempt to keep herself upright and steady. Soon Ellie realized that there was a faint buzzing coming from a jacket by the door. He had left his sturdy Mac behind. Phone in a pocket inside.

Of course! Bloody wanker, just wait 'til I find you, she cursed him in her head but it helped only slightly with her desperation.

She ran out of the house and stopped again right in front it, breathing quickly. The sloping driveway gave view to the whole of Broadchurch. A sight that overwhelmed Ellie. How the hell should she find him in time? The town was small, but still big enough to hide one indiviudual man. It had hid Joe from them two years ago. And Alec was the one who found him. Everyone else was blinded by plain sight.

Where would the grumpy DI even go? It wasn't like he had a favourite spot in town that he used to frequent. He always made sure to let everyone know how much he hated this place.

Ellie paused. Maybe there was one place he hated more than the rest:

The beach.

She circled the house, running. Around the back, a perfect view from the window by his dining table where she found the envelope, there was the sea, the sandy pebbled shore and of course... the towering cliffs.

"Oh god, no. Please, not again." pleaded Ellie desperately.

She started running towards the sound of the waves. A sound that, on some level, would forever remind her of the body they found there. Beneath the cliffs. Although Danny never really jumped as they first thought. Please, not again. Not again, her mind repeated over and over as she was running.

Long green grass swished around her knees. Cold. Wet. Slippery beneath her feet. She reached a forked pathway at the end of the field. Down to the beach or up to the cliffs? Ellie stopped abruptly, hands on her knees, breathing raggedly. Where to? The expression on her face must've shown her agony of indecision. But then a gut feeling overcame her and without questioning it, she ran up the hill.

If there was still a chance, she needed to be up there.

It was dark on the cliffs. No street lamps, just the moon appearing and vanishing behind the moving, billowing clouds. An unreliable source of light. Why didn't she bring a torch? Ellie strode on; she knew her way around the cliffs. She'd be fine. But what about Alec? She clenched her fists. They were ice-cold. The wind was strong and the waves sixty feet beneath crashed to the shore like thunder. She could hear it clearly. And Alec wasn't even wearing a jacket.

It was stupid to worry about him getting a cold in this dire situation, but she did. Ironically, however, it was the fact that he didn't wear his dark rain coat that made her find him.

Ellie had been walking for only a little while when the moon reflected something white ahead at the edge of the cliff. Her heart stopped as she recognized the shirt for what it was and the body belonging to it.

Such a thin, wispy figure, hands propped up next to his body, the head tilted stoically downwards. She found Alec Hardy like this, sitting at the very edge of the clifftop.

"No." she wheezed. Fear had closed up her throat, preventing her from screaming, but only until the first shock wore off. "No!" she then cried, running closer. "Stop! Please, don't!"

He whipped his head around so quickly, Ellie feared he'd lose his balance. Shock and agony on his face.

"Sir, please-"

"Leave me alone!"

"Alec!"

"Go away!"

"I won't!" she declared, but her feet abruptly stopped her from moving closer anyway. She was sure there was protocol for this, but right now all logical thoughts left her brain and only fear and her thumping heart remained. She upheld her hands, showing him that she won't come nearer. With tears running down her cheeks she only dared to whisper, "Please, don't jump."

It was like he hadn't heard her at all. Slowly, he turned his head away, his gaze fixing downwards once more.

Terror spiked. "No." Ellie whimpered and she could see how his shoulders tensed. Only a few steps separated them. The wind was howling, the waves rumbling, but this time he must have heard her.

"Please leave." His answer was only a whisper, too. Broken, frail and small. It wasn't a voice she'd ever associate with him.

"I won't." Ellie repeated, trembling. "I can't leave you here."

"It's alright. It's not your fault." he rumbled slowly and she marvelled how he could know exactly what she was thinking earlier. "It's… I… I thought about this. It's for the best. There's nothing left for me here. I'm done."

Crying, she listened to his words, picked with deliberation. It scared Ellie that there was absolutely no panic in him. This wasn't an ill-considered, rash decision. This was his truth, his firm conviction. An opinion that would be so much harder to change. But Ellie would try. She would try bloody everything to convince him otherwise.

"No, you're not. You're not done, do you hear me?" His gaze didn't swerve. His destination was clear. "Please listen," she begged. "Just listen to me." She took one more step and he quivered, one hand swiftly upheld in her direction.

She stopped. Beneath his now upheld hand she saw a tiny piece of rock loosening from the cliff and tumbling, plunging, towards the ground below. It made her heart stutter. He was too close, much too close to the edge already. Ellie glanced downwards. She herself was close enough to see the water's edge meeting the sand. The sight made her dizzy.

She stretched out her hands again. "Okay. I stop. See... I stop. Please, just wait. Please." She carefully patted her pockets for her mobile phone. "I'm going to call off the colleagues now. I panicked." she explained. "I mobilized everyone to find you, but I haven't told anyone what you're planning, okay? You have my word, they don't know a thing."

She waited. Waves crashed to the shore. The wind tugged fiercely at both their hair. He nodded slowly and his hand dropped next to him once more.

"Alright, stay with me, okay? Don't move." Ellie put her phone to her ear. "Bob? Listen, call everything off. It was a false alarm… Yah, found him. Just overreacted a bit… Yah, sure, I'm alright… Okay, thanks. Bye." She put the phone back. "See, now it's just you and me. No pressure, okay? No one's looking for us. You can talk to me." she said.

He shook his head the tiniest bit. "Don't wanna talk."

She clenched her hands with determination. "No, forget it. I'm not gonna leave you until you've talked to me. I'm not going anywhere." Bravely, she stepped closer. He turned his head quickly again, but his gestures didn't stop her this time. His face darkened angrily.

"What're you doing? No, don't!"

Ellie sat down beside him. She was shivering from head to toe, but she was hell-bent on not showing him. As she saw the ground far below, however, her breath stuttered and she swiftly grabbed his arm.

"Miller—"

"Don't you dare call me Miller right now!" she snapped. The fear was audible in her voice.

There was a pause. "Ellie… don't be stupid."

"Oh, thanks. I could say the same about you."

"You have a family." he insisted.

"So do you!"

This time he didn't answer.

Even without directly looking at him, Ellie knew that the heavy, sad darkness settled back over his features. He tried to shake her grip away but she held on. "Let go." he whispered.

"Not a chance." she said, finally tearing her gaze away from the abyss and towards the furious, sharp pain in his eyes.

"I might just drag you down with me." he said.

"I think you're too much of a good person to do that." Ellie decided calmly.

Alec snorted dryly. "You misjudge me."

"I don't think so."

A pause. Her grip around his wrist was firm, but he no longer struggled against her.

He's tired, Ellie realized with alarm. Tired of struggling. Tired of yelling. His voice was so uncharacteristically soft and quiet just now; she could barely understand him over the roaring sea. Ellie gave his wrist a careful squeeze. "Talk to me." she coaxed softly. "What happened? What made you want to do this?"

His eyes were empty. He was staring down towards the water, unblinking, but he wasn't really seeing it. "You can't help me." he said after a long while.

"I'm not trying to." Ellie promised. "I just want to understand… and then I'll try and see if I can help you."

"You can't."

"Please… let me be the judge of that." she said.

The pain seemed to ripple and rage right beneath Alec's skin. Ellie wanted nothing more than to put an arm around him, squeeze him tight and console him properly, but she didn't dare. Physically, she had never been this close to her boss before. She had no idea how he would react to even greater proximity. Ellie was amazed that he allowed her to hold on to him in the first place; he'd always seemed to be squeamish about physical contact, hadn't he?

Ellie's breathing stuttered as she thought back and realized with shock that, in fact, this wasn't entirely true.

Alec was the one who offered her a hug when Joe pleaded not guilty. He had tried, more than once, to comfort her in this hard time, even though he did it so awkwardly. But Ellie had always brushed him off. Quite harshly, actually. She didn't even want to give him a hug when he left Broadchurch after the trial.

She did completely misjudge him!

But not in the way he meant.

Alec Hardy has been lonely and broken-hearted for so much longer than she ever thought. And only now Ellie realized that deeply hidden beneath his gruff, rude exterior was a surprisingly vulnerable cry for love.

Ellie bit her lip. She couldn't cry now. This wasn't the time to wallow in guilt. Right now, it was all about him and he still hadn't said anything. Ellie saw him try, though. She saw him fight an inner battle against the voices in his head, which, she could imagine, were telling him all sorts of dark and scary things: That it was no use opening up to her now. That it was too late. That he should end the hopeless misery he found himself in.

"Do you mind if I take a guess?" Ellie asked finally. She got no visible acknowledgement that he had heard her but she continued anyway. "Is this... has this something to do with your family?"

His body tensed. His breathing changed. The air came quick and pressed and he clenched his jaw, trying viciously to keep himself from breaking down. Ellie knew then with certainty that she was on the right track.

"Did something happen…" she paused for the last time. "With Tess… or... with Daisy?"

And, finally, there it was: The heavy release of pressure.

As soon as Ellie mentioned his daughter's name, Alec began shaking violently and out of nowhere a flood of tears spilled from his dark eyes. His face was twisted in raw agony as he sobbed, wept and cried.

Ellie's heart leaped in her chest, stinging with sympathy. Without thinking now she grabbed his hand with her free one and wrapped the other arm tightly around his spindly, shaking frame. His limbs were so cold. How long has he been sitting here? "Oh god, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she hushed. "I know you're hurting, but it's alright. I got you, okay? Talk to me. I'm here for you. I'll listen."

For minutes she spoke soothing words, reassured him and kept him save in her one-armed embrace. Alec was swaying forward every now and then. Ellie didn't know if he did it on purpose or not. She didn't want to think about it. Together they sat on the verge of death, wobbling on the thin line between safety and downfall. Alec wasn't ready yet to find comfort and Ellie knew she had to be patient. If she forced something on him, it might actually push him over the edge for good.

The moon eventually came out between the clouds again and she saw the tears glistening on his face. He had forced himself to stop crying, but his muscles still flinched, his lips still quivered. The fingers of his free hand dug deeply into the rocky earth, holding on, while his eyes never glanced away from the ground far below. As if it was calling him. The crashing of the waves a siren song luring him to come and rest forever in its embrace.

Ellie's fingers were getting numb. She was clutching his cold hand so tightly, but she still feared that he would manage to slip through. "Can you talk to me?" she gently begged again. "Please? Can you explain to me what happened?"

The trembling of his lip intensified, his face contorted in pain. He opened his mouth, so very slowly, but no sound came out. He dropped his head even lower, until his chin almost touched his chest, closing his eyes and concentrating on breathing deep and steady. One time. Two. Three.

A lonely tear, squeezed from his closed lids, ran over his cheek, then he looked up again towards the blackened sea. "I thought…" His voice was rough and he had to swallow before he was able to continue. "I thought I could return home. Fix my family. Be with…" A shiver went through him. He clenched his jaw. "Be with my daughter." he finished. "But I was wrong. There's no home anymore. I… I tried to reconnect, but… I can't. Tess keeps me away from Daisy. Says it'd been too hard…" More trembling. "Too hard on Daisy when I first left. She wants to protect her… f-from me."

Alec leaned forward. Ellie felt it distinctly and she dug her fingers into the sleeve of his shirt, pulling him back. "No." she hushed gently. He moved his shoulders, trying weakly to shake her off of him. His head was turned away from her as if in shame.

"I've hurt my daughter. I left her alone." The wobble in Alec's voice was clearly audible. "I only make things more complicated for her. It's for the best to stay away. Let her continue to hate me."

Ellie tried to understand him, tried to find the truth beneath his dark, self-loathing words. Thinking that she might have found the root of all evil, she took a chance. "Is that what Tess said?"

He turned back to her, slowly but suddenly, revealing that he had started crying anew. But his mournful eyes met hers for the first time and Ellie knew she must've hit the metaphorical nail on its head. "She's right." said Alec. "I broke our family apart."

"No, she's wrong." Ellie held fiercely. "Two people are responsible for a relationship to work out. Don't take the blame for everything." She paused, thinking. She remembered reading something that had opened her eyes to many things. Until now those were still only assumptions in her head, but suddenly the picture seemed to get much clearer. "Sandbrook wasn't your fault." Ellie said boldly.

Now his eyes widened in surprise. Finally some life returned into them. "H-How did you know?" he uttered.

"I've read the article in the Echo about you. Didn't get around to it when it first came out, but I read it after you'd left." she said. "It wasn't you who lost the pendant. And, yet, you risked everything for this case. You fought so hard. It was clear that it was personal to you, I just didn't realize how personal." His silence encouraged her, convincing her that her suspicions were true. "The article never mentioned who had the affair, who you were protecting… but I think I got to know you pretty well during the reopening of this case and your time here. It wasn't that hard to figure out."

She paused, giving him the chance to come clean on his own, but his gaze was stony and hard. "It was Tess, wasn't it?" His eyes closed heavily. Pain and sadness reflected in his features. No more affirmation necessary. "Does Daisy know?"

His free hand came up to rub over his face, then he tiredly dragged it down again. He seemed so discouraged. As if he had already fought a dozen times with himself, debating if he should tell his daughter the truth or not. "No." he breathed, his answer so soft it was immediately carried away by the wind.

Now it was Ellie who shivered. But it wasn't the cold. "And you're sitting here, ready to end your life, without telling her what really happened!" Hot anger bubbled within her. "Is that why Tess thinks it'd be too complicated? Because she's afraid of Daisy turning against her if she finds out?"

"Stop, Ellie-"

"Doesn't that poor girl deserve to know the truth?"

"Stop!" Alec exclaimed. His voice was like a sore, open wound and she was putting salt into it.

Ellie swallowed, forcing herself back under control before she continued. "How old is she? Daisy?"

Alec took a moment. His eyes softened gradually, as if he saw his daughter right in front of him. Ellie recognized that special look of love in his eyes. "Sixteen." he whispered. "She'll turn seventeen this year."

Gently smiling, Ellie rubbed her hand up and down his arm. "Sixteen." she repeated appreciatively. "Practically a young woman then."

"Don't say that." Alec blurted out.

Ellie's smile broadened a bit. He sounded almost normal just now. "You know, if she's anything like you, she can handle the truth." she added.

Love turned back to agonized pain and sorrow. "She barely talks to me. I…" He breathed heavily, fighting for control over his voice. "I miss her… s-so much." The fight was lost and he sobbed quietly.

Ellie squeezed his shoulders. "Then fight for her! Don't give up."

"I have. No use." he mumbled. "She's... closer to her mum. She'll be fine. All grown up now… doesn't need me anymore."

"Oh, bollocks! You're her father. Of course she needs you." Ellie argued strongly. "If she's angry and not speaking to you, it's probably because you left home again without telling her why."

"I can't." Alec shook his head vehemently. "I can't tell her why. She'll hate us both. Who can she trust if she knows her parents lied to her like that? I can't-" Alec clenched his mouth shut when he noticed how upset he was getting. He breathed through his nose, taking a moment to regain control. "She's with her mother." he said brokenly. "She's happy right now. I'm not… I-I don't fit in… anymore."

With this declaration he cast his eyes downwards once more. But there was something different this time:

There was fear.

Ellie saw it clearly in his eyes. Desperately, she held on to his first sliver of doubt. "You have the right to be with her." she said. "She's your kid, too. If it were me, there would be nothing stopping me from seeing my boys." A memory made Ellie's heart sting as she recollected how Joe begged to see Tom and Fred once more. But she shook the pain away. This situation was different; Alec did nothing wrong.

"Tess will have to accept that." she continued. "She has to realize what she's doing to you."

Alec was back to not responding again. His thoughts – as his eyes – were far away. Maybe thinking of previous fights he had with his ex-wife. Maybe telling himself that he wasn't worth all this trouble. All the things he'd said before, all the self-loathing… Tess had obviously played him well. Alec was genuinely believing now that he's the bad one in this family. And he was giving up, letting her win.

What a power Tess has over him, Ellie wondered with alarm. He must still love her way more than she loves him. After he'd done so much for her – giving up the love of his only child so that she could still have it – it just wasn't fair that he got cast out so callously.

Ellie swallowed bravely. She just came to a very firm decision. She reckoned there would be pushback but still she deemed it necessary. Now that all the pain was out in the open, she hoped that Alec would be more receptive of her help.

"I know... your relationship is complicated... obviously." she started telling him. "With all that's been said between the two of you, it won't make this situation any easier, right?" No response. Ellie braced herself. "So… how about I'll talk to Tess."

"What!?" Abruptly, Alec came back from his silent musings and looked at her horrified. "No!"

"It's okay, I'm going to tell her that you're not feeling well and-"

"You won't!"

"She has to know about this."

"No, she doesn't!" Alec growled a sense of betrayal in his voice. "Leave it alone, it's none of your business!"

"Oh, isn't it?!" Ellie exclaimed. She reached inside of her pocket and pulled out the old photograph of Alec and his baby daughter. She held it out to him and he immediately recoiled, as if it caused him actual, physical pain to look at it. He squeezed his eyes shut, turning away. His breathing quickened again. Ellie held on to his arm but kept the photo out for him to see. "Didn't you write me a letter to give this to your daughter?"

"Please… take it away. I can't look at her." Alec whimpered.

"Because you know she deserves to know the truth… and you can't quit knowing you haven't tried absolutely everything to get her back." Ellie said patiently. "Right now, you're too emotionally unstable but that's okay. That's why I'm here... I'll talk to Tess for you."

He made a sound in the back of his throat, as if he was about to protest again, but Ellie squeezed his arm.

"Look," she said, soft but firmly. "Look at me. I'm sitting here next to you on top of a bloody cliff. Don't you dare say it's none of my business! As of now, it is, and I'm going to help you sorting this out. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help, Alec, quite the opposite." she said earnestly. "It shows how strong you had to be until now. If afterwards you still want to throw yourself from the top of a cliff…" Ellie swallowed as her voice was getting thin. "Then I know I probably won't be able to stop you. But let me try this first. Let me help."

During her speech Alec had reluctantly opened his eyes again. With unshed tears brimming in them he gazed longingly at the picture of his little daughter. When he finally took it from Ellie's hands, his movements were slow and stiff. Lovingly, his thumb stroked over the bundle of pink blankets that his younger self was holding in his arms and Ellie had to stifle a sob.

A single tear fell from his chin and was immediately lost in the vast air of nothingness down the cliff. Then Alec gently put the photo into his breast pocket, holding it there with his hand.

For safekeeping, Ellie reckoned. He wouldn't take it down with him, would he? She waited for him to say something, to explain, but he didn't. She hoped this meant that he silently agreed with her plan, but she didn't dare bringing it up again to clarify. At last – since she didn't know what else to say – she asked softly, "Are you ready to stand up now?"

The waves were still calling, crashing steadily against the shore in the long pause that followed her question.

Finally, Alec nodded.

"Okay." Ellie smiled timidly. "Thank you. Here, let me help you." Quickly, but carefully, she scrambled to stand, taking Alec's hand and pulling him to his feet.

His long limbs were stiff and cold. He moved slowly and when he was standing, he swayed on his feet. They looked at each other. Face-to-face at last with him towering above her and their hands still clasped. He looked exhausted and terribly sad but Ellie kept her timid smile.

Once more Alec turned away and looked down to the still and empty beach, as if he'd already pictured himself lying there…

Then he turned back to Ellie, took a deep breath and stepped away from the edge.

Ellie realized – only now again – how fast her heart was beating. While she'd been sitting there, the earth had seemed to have stopped moving and there was no sound except wind and sea and Alec crying. But now the relief had her heart beating wildly. For now he was safe. Shivering and walking terribly unsteady, but safe.

"You can lean on me if you like." she offered.

He grumbled, but his long, wiry arm landed tentatively on her shoulder. She held on to him and, wordlessly, they made their way down from the clifftop.


Thank you for reading and remember, it would mean so much to me to know what you're thinking, so please review! :)

To be continued...