Chapter 4:

It took almost the entire drive until Ellie realized that she hadn't really planned out what she was going to say.

Her thoughts were still stuck in the past. Yesterday to be exact. And everything that had happened since. She worried about Alec at her home, hoping that she hasn't overwhelmed him too soon with this much responsibility over her kids in his fragile state. She almost expected the phone to ring with Tom in the line, telling her frenzied that Hardy has left to go for a walk on the cliffs.

Ellie honestly didn't believe that she'd ever be okay again with seeing him brooding close to these rocks. Next case they have, he could bloody well look for another place to do his thinking. This wasn't working anymore.

And then she drove into the town where Hardy's ex lived with their daughter and Ellie shuddered in shock as she realized that not only did she not ask for the exact address but she also had no idea what to say. She figured she'd be calm and rational. Making Tess honestly and unmistakably aware of how severe the situation was. Ellie was sure they'd be able to talk about this and find a solution. After all, they'd met before and got along fine.

But that was before she knew the truth about what she did.

As Ellie stood in front of Tess' doorstep - after checking back with Alec for the address - she didn't reckon with the overwhelming rage that suddenly flooded all her senses. Red-hot anger that she had repressed for Alec's sake now came back with full force.

That woman behind the door was responsible for the terrible pain he was in! She was to blame for Alec's suicidal thoughts! She had exploited his love for his daughter, convinced him that he was the one hurting her and pushed him into thinking that ending things was his best way of action. She did this when he was reaching out to her, knowing that he was vulnerable and in need of comfort.

The blood was pulsing through Ellie's veins. Oh, she'll regret the day she cheated on him when I'm done with her!

The door opened and Tess Henchard stood opposite her. Confused at first, then recognizing her and then smiling in that cold, condescending way of hers. As if Ellie's appearance wasn't surprising, but amusing to her.

"DS Ellie Miller. What brings you here?" she said, snarky sarcasm dripping from the sharp edges of her words.

"Tess." Ellie greeted curtly. "I bet you can imagine, can't you?"

With crossed arms Tess craned her neck to look over Ellie's shoulder. Seeing that Alec wasn't waiting in the car that was parked at the side of the road, she looked back at her, feeling validated. "What did he do now? Harass you? Believe me, I never found a way to turn that grouch into a socially functioning person." she joked.

"It's nothing he did." Ellie stressed sharply. "Or at least nothing he's to blame for."

Tess lifted her brows. She managed to look puzzled and defensive at the same time. "Well, I guess you should come in then so you can tell me all about it." she said reluctantly, stepping aside.

Ellie marched past her. A berating voice in her head told her urgently to calm down. It wasn't her place to make a scene. She was here to mediate, not to make everything worse. But wasn't it already past the point of any repair, another voice argued. Alec was hurting so bad that he already went for drastic measures to end his misery. Actions needed to happen now! There was no time for idle chitchat.

"Do you want a cup of tea or coffee?" Tess offered on her way to the kitchen.

"No." Ellie stated outright; she had made up her mind to which voice she would listen. "I just came here to tell you something and then I'll be on my way. And I'd advise you to listen closely."

Tess turned around to stand by the dining table across from Ellie. Neither of the women made a move to sit down. Tess' eyebrows went up even higher, readying herself to knock down Ellie's challenging attitude. But Ellie beat her to it, taking the wind out of her sails in the most shocking but effective way possible:

"Last night… Alec attempted suicide."

That, finally, wiped the self-righteous smirk off her face. "What?" Tess uttered.

"It's true." Ellie said grimly.

"I-Is he okay?"

"Well, for now at least." she said and then continued to explain, "He was in a really shitty mood ever since he returned to Broadchurch. Worse than ever, but I didn't think anything of it at first. But then he said something… it just slipped out. Something about not belonging anywhere." Ellie glowered at Tess but she didn't flinch. "I came by his house last night to make sure he's alright, but he wasn't there. Just found a note he left... for Daisy."

This time Tess' eyes briefly flitted towards a staircase in the room somewhere behind Ellie's shoulder. "You know, I think we should take a walk." she said. "Talk outside-"

"No, I don't think so." Ellie argued harshly. "I won't give you the chance to talk this down or belittle his actions. I saw him up there. He was sitting on the edge of a bloody cliff! T'was pure luck that I even found him on time!" Her voice grew louder. Heated. Passionate. "You didn't see the pain in his eyes. You didn't have to sit there with him, convincing him not to jump. Or maybe you saw it coming and you just didn't care!"

"Wha- Ellie, how can you say that! Of course, I didn't know." Tess argued, but in a voice that was still hushed and strangely nervous.

"Didn't you?!" Ellie snapped. "Because you've known him for much longer than I have and it didn't take me long to figure out that something was wrong. The difference is that you didn't want to see it. 'Too complicated', right?" Ellie deliberately used the words Tess must have used with Alec, waiting for her to recognize them, but she only shook her head in defence, crossing her arms.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that his note was meant to let his daughter know how much he loves her! I'm talking about the pain when he told me how rarely he's seeing her and how much he misses her!" Ellie ranted furiously.

"Would you lower your voice, please!" Tess tried to interject.

"Is that all you care about right now?" Ellie questioned incredulously. "I know I have no right to barge into your family business like that, but he is in serious pain! I'm sure he's not all innocent, but right now your ex-husband feels broken enough to wanna end his life because you refuse to let him be with the person he loves most! Can't you see how much damage this stupid lie has already done?"

"Ellie—"

"What? Surprised that I know about Sandbrook?" she said, cutting off whatever Tess has been meaning to say. "Listen, he already took your blame. He gave you more time with Daisy than you deserve in my opinion and he'll never get it back. But what you're doing now is not fair to both of them. The least you can do is finally come clean to your daughter and live with the consequences. It's time for her to learn the truth and make her own decisions!"

"The truth about what?"

Mortified, Ellie froze as a new voice spoke up and only now, she also realized why Tess was glaring so furiously at her.

Ellie whirled around and saw the young girl standing at the bottom of the staircase. She was pretty. Tall, like her father, dark-blonde hair and, oddly enough, bright blue eyes.

Daisy Hardy.

Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! She did make it worse! "Ah… uhm…" Ellie uttered, her throat running painfully dry.

Daisy didn't really acknowledge her presence. With eyes widened in shock she stared at her mother. "Mum, what is she talking about? The truth about what?"

"Daise, darling, go upstairs." Tess said, a strained smile on her face. "I'll be there in a minute. We can talk then."

Fear pierced Ellie sharply as the girl abruptly turned her head towards her. "Is this true? Did dad try to kill himself?"

"Daisy, please!" Tess asked her again and, reluctantly, her daughter started to retreat.

Ellie saw the disbelieving tears glistening in Daisy's eyes and felt the full extent of her epic fuck-up crashing down on her at once. "I, ah… I-I think I better go now." she stuttered meekly when the women were alone again.

"Oh, really? You think you've done enough?" Tess huffed sarcastically.

Ellie flinched. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry. I… I-I didn't mean to-"

"Listen, I get it." Tess cut her off sharply. "You were worried... and for a good reason." She sighed heavily, running her fingers through her curly, dark hair. "Just go."

Ellie tilted her head down. "Okay." she muttered, quickly fleeing towards the exit. There she dared to look into Tess' eyes again. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't want her to find out like this."

Tess gave her a steely look, not really giving away any of her emotions. She reminded her very much of Hardy on a bad day. Then she briskly shut the door in her face.

Muttering and cursing under her breath, Ellie hurried back to her car, slamming her hand down hard onto the steering wheel. "Shit!" she cursed again, this time aloud. That poor girl. If Daisy was going to call Alec before her mum could talk her down, Ellie was dead meat.

She pulled out her phone. Her hand was trembling. She didn't dare to call and let him know what happened. Not over the phone where she didn't have any control over his reaction. Ellie cursed again. What should she do?

It wasn't like Daisy wouldn't have found out anyway. At least that had been her goal, to convince Tess that it was the right thing to tell Daisy the whole story of her parents' divorce. But she wasn't supposed to find out about her father. About what he almost did.

Oh, god, Hardy will kill her!

She should have listened to her inner, calm voice. She had been too angry from the start. Too scared and haunted by the horrifying events from the night before. She should've let Tess get a word in. Should've agreed to her suggestion to talk outside. And of course, she should've reckoned that Daisy would be somewhere in the house, too; Ellie wasn't exactly talking quietly. Bloody hell, what a mess she'd made!

Suddenly, the front door flew open and Daisy stormed out. Tears were streaming down her face. Ellie was out of the car and halfway across the pavement before she even realized what she was doing. Tess was right behind her daughter.

"Daisy! Please wait!" she called after her, but the young girl was already too far away.

"I drive after her and bring her back." Ellie offered carefully, waiting for the mother's permission. Tess looked at her for a moment, trepidation and regret in her eyes, but then she nodded.

Ellie hurried; she started the car and drove in the same direction Daisy went. She saw the girl running for a whole while, then she caught her breath and walked a bit slower. Seemingly still with a clear destination in mind. Ellie took care that Daisy didn't notice her and followed.

They eventually reached the edge of a field. Ellie parked the car at the side of the road and watched Daisy cross the field, heading towards a small gathering of trees. Again, Ellie followed, now on foot. She lost sight of the girl as soon as she had reached the trees, but Ellie went on.

Soon, she heard the purl of some kind of water. A small brook divided the last houses of the neighbourhood from the forest. What a nice, beautiful place, thought Ellie.

She heard the sobs before she even spotted Daisy; it didn't fit this peaceful location at all.

She was sitting, almost hidden, between the knobby roots of a big oak tree that was leaning into the brook. Considering how fast Daisy had found this perfect little spot for her, Ellie assumed that it wasn't her first time hiding here. Was this her refuge whenever her parents fought? How often did she come here? When did she find this place?

Carefully, Ellie moved closer. Daisy had pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them and hiding her head in between. When Ellie stepped on a dry twig, Daisy quickly raised her head, looking startled from teary eyes.

"It's just me." Ellie said, upholding her hands in a disarming manner. "From your house, remember?"

The girl relaxed visibly, quickly wiping the tears from her red cheeks. "Who exactly are you anyway?" she asked, her throat a little rough from crying.

"My name is Ellie Miller. I, ah… I'm a Detective Sergeant working with your dad in Broadchurch."

Daisy sniffled, looking her up and down. "Miller." she then repeated, apparently recognizing the name. "My dad has talked about you. You're the one he solved the Sandbrook case with."

Ellie nodded, smiling friendly. "Yah, that's right."

A new tear rolled over Daisy's cheek and she looked away. "So you really know him then. It's all true what you said."

Ellie's heart broke as Daisy began sobbing anew. "Oh, sweetheart…" she murmured and quickly tried to find a way to sit down next to the poor girl. She lowered herself onto a big root and tentatively placed a hand upon her arm. Daisy flinched at first but didn't shake her off. She was only sobbing harder.

Shocked, Ellie suddenly recognized the many similarities between yesterday and right now. Again, she found herself responsible to offer comfort to a saddened, vulnerable member of the Hardy family while sitting at the edge of a body of water. At least it wasn't a cliff this time. The drop to the little brook was only a few feet and the water knee-deep at most. Ellie just hoped that she was also able to ease the pain she'd caused Daisy.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you had to find out like this." Ellie apologized, stroking her hand softly up and down Daisy's arm. "I never meant to stumble into your house like that, yelling at people without thinking. I was just… I lost control over myself. I'm sorry, I never meant to cause you any pain."

"It's okay." Daisy murmured, wiping her nose. "I-I'm not mad at you. If it weren't for you I probably would've never known. Mum wouldn't have told me on her own."

"Oh, I'm sure she would've." Ellie tried.

"No." Daisy decided firmly. "She kept it from me for so long already. When Dad came back... I knew that something was different from the way they fought. Dad really tried to be there for us, but Mum didn't want him to be. And…" She sobbed. "And I took her side. I thought she had the right to act so cold towards him after what he'd done to us, b-but… now I know... he didn't do a-anything."

Daisy's voice broke towards the end and fresh tears welled up in her eyes. Her whole body trembled in torment and Ellie put an arm around her. She knew she couldn't really say anything to make it better. For that she didn't know enough details. Ellie wondered if Daisy already knew them all.

"Please… please, c-can you tell me… how's my dad? Is he hurt?" Daisy asked fearfully after she just so recovered from crying. Looking directly into Ellie's eyes, begging for honesty, Daisy seemed so much younger than she really was. The image of her as a baby, safely in her father's arms, popped back into Ellie's mind and it almost caused her to cry along with her.

"He's fine, sweetheart. I promise." she said. "He misses you a lot, but, physically, he's fine. Right now, he's at my house. Told him to watch my boys while I'm here. The older one is almost your age and I told him to call if there's a problem." Ellie quickly pulled out her phone and showed Daisy her lock screen. "See, he hasn't called, so your dad's okay. He's safe."

With shaking hands, digging into her knees, Daisy nodded. "I wish I would've talked to him! He'd tried so often to call and I never answered." she suddenly exclaimed. "If I had known… i-if I..." She briefly squeezed her burning eyes shut. "He was so alone… the whole time. He didn't deserve any of this."

"I know." soothed Ellie, squeezing Hardy's girl to her side. "I know this must be so hard for you, but it isn't your fault. This is all on me. I'm so sorry that I scared you, but I promise that he was never all alone. I think he knew that he could come to me with his troubles, it's just… well, I'm sure you know how stubborn he can be."

"Yah." Daisy nodded meekly. "I… I wanna call him now. I wanna make sure he's okay."

"Quite right." Ellie replied. "But first, I think you should go back to your mum's-"

"No!" Daisy vehemently interrupted, shaking her head.

"She's worried about you."

"She lied to me! She caused all of this. I don't wanna talk to her." Daisy argued fiercely. After a beat, she suddenly looked at Ellie. "Can you take me with you when you drive back to Broadchurch? I wanna see Dad."

"Oh, I can't do that, Daisy." Ellie told her apologetic. "I meddled enough with your family affairs."

Daisy clenched her jaw, trying to hide how big her disappointment was. But Ellie knew teenagers. She saw it in the girl's eyes that her mind was already spinning, trying to find another way to get what she wanted.

"Go home first." Ellie therefore tried to persuade softly.

"It's not feeling like home anymore." Daisy muttered stubbornly, but Ellie continued.

"Talk to your mother. Calm down. Make sure you get all the details before you make any big decisions. I promise I will look after your dad in the meantime. Nothing will happen to him while you decide on what to do." Daisy remained silent. Frowning angry and determined, but listening. "In the end," Ellie said. "I think this all happened because your parents both love you very much. Mistakes were made, I'm sure by both of them. Just hear her out, okay?"

She didn't seem convinced, but Daisy curtly nodded her head in agreement.

"Good." Ellie said, smiling calm and conciliatory. "I'll take you back then, okay? I parked my car at the edge of the field."

Daisy continued to stare into the clear water of the brook for a moment, seemingly gathering strength from its peacefulness. Then she looked at Ellie. "Alright." she said.

They didn't talk anymore once they were inside Ellie's car. Daisy gazed out the window lost in thoughts. Brooding like this, she looked very much like her father.

Tess must have been waiting by the window because the door opened before they even got out of the car. "Daisy." she sighed in relief, but her daughter walked past her without a word or a glance. The disappointment was clear in Tess' eyes, but she didn't seem surprised.

For a brief moment Tess and Ellie exchanged words. Reserved but politely thanking and apologizing.

Then Ellie got into her car again, sighed deeply, and, finally, she drove home.


Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think of my story! :)

One chapter to go...