We both sat in silence. But it was a tense silence. What time is it now? Surely close to midnight. I gazed briefly at Liam, his sea green eyes locked hauntingly onto the shoreline.
I wonder if he knows why Finnick's disappointed. It was bumbing me out that Johanna hadn't signed off on the note. I knew the spile was her doing yet only Finnick Odair bothered to sign it. Is she also disappointed or just Finnick?.
I sighed and cleared my throat. "It's because we nearly died of thirst, isn't it?".
Liam's head slowly rose and he turned to me with a frown. "Maybe it's because you said my mother went insane".
Okay, so I kinda deserved that but at least I'm trying to break the tension. I bit my lip and turned away from him. The both of us enduring even more of that heavy silence.
Suddenly, the arena was filled with a thunder like bang and immediatly we both stood, weapons pointed at the wooden white door. Our breaths shallow and our limbs tight ready for action. Only the door remained closed, in the distace a giant like tree was being struck repeatedly by lightning.
I slowly lowered my axe and stared at the giant tree. I heard Liam sigh and roll out his shoulders. "Guess its midnight then".
Right. How could I forget? This arena is one giant clock. I nodded not trusting myself to say anything. I never thought I'd say this but a part of me just wants to go home. To live in my room even if I'll be woken up at five-thirty by Johanna everyday. It's still better then being on edge every second of every waking minute I'm in here.
I sat back down in the sand, drawing little sriwls and a tree. I felt Liam's eyes on me, he was still standing but hadn't said anything. But I knew he wanted to, I'm just not in the mood to talk to someone so rude. "You're not what I expected".
I looked up at him with a frown. "What's that supposed to mean?".
He smirked and sat across from me in the sand. "I thought you'd be more like Johanna."
I paused in my little drawings and rose my eyebrow at him. "Well, if it's any consolation I think your exactly like your father". And that's not a good thing.
He shrugged. "I didn't mean to offend you".
I frowned. Yes he did, infact he's probably annoyed that I'm happy at the compariosn being so different. I smirked. "You didn't".
He rubbed the back of his neck casually and glared at the ocean. "Yeah, I gathered that".
And then I laughed. Like, genuinelly laughed. He gave me a confused look which only added to my amusment. Until, I had to hold my stomach and try to breath through my nose to stop. All the while, Liam Odair stared at me like I've gone mad. "S-sorry. But if you honestly think that Johanna Mason of all people is the way to upset me...". And that was it, I was laughing again.
He shook his head at me. "You know in here she's basically your only life line, right?. I wouldn't be laughing at her".
I sobered up and glared at him a little. "Well that's up to her. Besides we're...".
What was I going to say?...Basically strangers, if I say that I'll lose all my sponsors.
He tipped his head at me expectantly. "You're what?".
I shrugged. Might as well pull this around somehow. "Family".
He scoffed. "Family. Some family we've got. It's because of family that we're here in the first place".
I nodded, that's true. "I always figured you'd volunteer".
He rose an eyebrow at me and I sighed. "Growing up you were always so in everyones face. Even in District Seven, everyone knew all about you. We even had this bet going around that at fourteen you'd volunteer. And I thought you would, but you never did. And that always surprised me".
He suddenly smirked. "It surprised you that I didn't want to die?. You don't think much of me do you?".
I shrugged. "Not really."
He suddenly leaned in closer to me, till his face was centimeters from mine. I found myself involuntarily holding my breath. "Want to know a secret Mason?. I don't think much of you either".
I rolled my eyes. "Figures".
And then we both laughed. Wether it was fear or the thought of our parents shaking their heads at us while they watch through screens. We laughed for a good ten minutes. The both of us knowing we hated eachother. Both just as famous, perfectly skilled in a weapon and not tied to a family member. The only reasons we're in this alliance.
I woke to someone kicking me. I groaned and lifted my head off the sand to find Liam looking pointedly down at me. "Your watch".
He didn't wait for a response before walking over to a nerby tree and leaning against it. His eyes had instantly closed and his breathing stablaized. But I knew better. He's not alsleep, not really.
I sat up and looked down at the sand dejectedly. It's too dark to doodle so this is gonna suck. I looked down at the axe by my side. It managed to shine in the moonlight and I smirked. I'm sure Liam won't mind if I take it out for a spin.
I made sure not to aim too close to his tree. Before I paused. It probably looks like I'm about to kill him. I'm not, but this axe is my only one. If I blunt it then I'll have to go into Johanna's arena. I shivered before shaking my head at that dreaded thought. I sat back down dejectly into the sand.
I bet all of Panem now probably thinks I chickened out of killing Liam Odair in his sleep. Well, if Finnick and Johanna weren't disappointed in me before then they certainly are now. I decided to focus on the white wooden door that looked so out of place on this beach.
I tried my hardest to clear my head. But I can't. It was like somebody was squeezing my brain so it spirals with a hundred different thoughts. Thoughts like, Johanna doesn't know anything about me. Well, apart from that I want to work in the printing press wharehouses. I frowned. I dodn't even know if I want that. The one thing she knows about me, and it's a lie.
I scoffed and dug my axe agressivly into the sand. Why should I even care what she knows about me?. Because she cried before I entered my hovercarft?. I scraped my axe even harder into the sand. How do I know she wasn't just acting for my own benefit?. I wouldn't put it past her just so I'd have something to fight for.
Urgh!. It was so out of character that I'm suprised I didn't see through it until now.
I felt my hand subconciously tighten on the tiny metal leaf dangling off my neck. The next thing I know I'm pulling on it agressivly before it snaps. I can feel tears starting to fall down my cheeks but I don't care. I don't care that It'll probably cost me sponsors because I'm so mad.
And then I'm storming up to the ocean and the next thing I know I scream a little before throwing it as far as I can. It flies before me and lightly splashes into the water.
I watch it sink meters away from me and let out a rather loud sniff. And then I'm sobbing while holding my hands around me as if to hold in some otherworldly pain. Pain I don't even know how to process.
But then I hear that tiny voice in my head screaming 'what if she actually meant it'. A whole wave of regret hits me in the face. Next minute I'm not even thinking as I mutter out a slight ''Shit!". And start wading in the water to try and reach it.
But then I'm thigh deep, waist deep, neck deep and then I'm sobbing. In the water with waves I have no expirence managing. But I can't go further, otherwise I'll die. I can't believe I got this far but I guess with how overly emotional I am, I hadn't even realised I was out this deep.
Oh God. I'm out deep in the water...And I can't swim. I open and closed my mouth like a fish in slight panic before dunking my head under the water and moving ungracefully back towards the shore. But honestly, I doubt I'm even managing that. Because it's like the water is pulling me in the opposite direction. Every time I think I may just make it up for air another wave dunks me before I have the chance. Sending me whirling under the pressure of the currents. Until I see spots and suddenly I'm not screaming anymore. Its silent. And for the first time I realise silence is the worst sound in the world.
