Chapter 16 – The End

WARNING – I'm not exactly sure how to phrase this, so I'll put it how I can. This chapter features references to Captain Hook's horrific parenting, up to and including the encouragement of self/assisted mutilation/amputation. Which sounds really awful, but it's a non-graphic reference, and it's really not that bad. Please see endnotes for specifics if you're worried about it.


-:-:-


"Sweet Evil, Harry," his older sister murmured, Harriet kind enough to aim an expression of pity at him as the motley assortment that was his family slid into the room. "What did ye think was going to happen?"

"Fuck off, Harriet," Harry muttered, motioning towards the outfits he had hung up for them. "Get your shittin' clothes on."

He didn't need to be kicked while he was down, though the fact that Harriet chose to do so was no large surprise. Many a time their father had shown him favor over her on the basis of being male, whether the affection was deserved or not. Usually it wasn't. That was just the way of these things.

"Hey," CJ said as the Smees trickled into the room, closing the door behind them. "Stop crying and show me how to do that eyeshadow shit. I'd ask Harriet, but she's helpless."

"By choice," Harriet muttered, looking over her outfit with something like approval.

"Sorry about what happened," Sammy said, always the kindest, most empathetic among them. All of Mr. Smee's children were adopted – white haired orphans that didn't have a better place to stay. He'd gotten Sammy to be a companion for Harriet, who'd been on her own in the beginning, and the eldest Smee had gone off to act as Harriet's first mate when she'd started her own crew. Squeaky and Squirmy were more of a pity move than anything else, the twins mostly mute and thoroughly beaten down by the world. Mr. Smee had sheltered them in the Jolly Roger, kept them away from the rest of the crew until he could herd them towards the crowd of maniacs CJ ran with.

"Thanks, Sammy," Harry sniffed, graciously accepting the handkerchief the eldest Smee passed over so he could dry his cheeks. He'd have to redo his concealer, but it was fine. There were worse things in life. "And I'll show ye how to do eyeshadow, runt."

"I want an ombré," CJ insisted, purposefully being extra bratty to play as a distraction. Such was their relationship, and she knew that as much as he grumbled, he was thankful for it. "With your new pretty colors. No fucking red, ye hear me?"

"Yes, your highness," Harry drawled, herding her over towards the vanity.

He ended up doing Harriet's makeup too before helping Squeaky and Squirmy with their hair. Mr. Smee looked like a proper gentleman in the clothes Harry made him, and they spent a few minutes in a private conversation, the first mate expressing how very proud he was of Harry, how he knew he could do this.

It was how Harry was treated to the explanation for his adoption into the Hook family – Mr. Smee finding him on the barges and carrying him home. He'd told Harry's dad that one of the whores had brought Harry to him – passing Harry off as Captain Hook's, and seeing as the man wanted nothing more than to have a son, he'd gleefully bought into the lie.

"Sexist pig," Harriet muttered as she admired her new outfit – something close to ceremonial pirate wear, as Harry would never be stupid enough to try and give her or CJ a dress. "Glad he's dead."

"Hear, hear!" CJ cheered, happy to make different faces in the mirror to admire all angles of her new makeup.

"Ye gonna eyeshadow up, fishbait?" Harriet asked when they were all more or less ready, Harry sliding on his gauntlets.

"I'm already wearing enough shit as it is," he muttered, trying to slip into his usual grumpiness and struggling when he'd gone so many months without.

"But ye look so pretty with eyeshadow," CJ whined. "I go to school and say 'there's my pretty brother, and none ye shitheads can touch him' and all the other girls are jealous 'cuz their brothers are ugly as bricks."

"We might not be Hooks anymore," Harriet began. "But we're stylish motherfuckers, Harry. Don't let your broken heart or this stupid monarch bullshit stop ye from doing what ye want."

Harry paused. His world had already crumbled, what the fuck did it matter if he wore eyeshadow?

"That's the spirit!" Harriet crowed when Harry settled in front of his vanity, doing up a quick teal smokey eye before he herded his Isle family down to meet his other family and get this shit on the road.

-:-:-

It was fortunate that Harry was accustomed to bearing the weight of punishment with a stoic determination – otherwise the coronation would have been unbearable. It started in a painful way with him walking – alone – down a too wide path, the entirety of the crowd's focus pinned to him. He felt exposed and stripped down under their gazes, like he was being ripped apart for judgement, the privilege offered up to thousands of people across the united kingdoms as it seemed like every camera in Auradon was trained on his face.

He dealt with the weight of it was a practiced sort of detachment, a narrow tunnel vision settling in that allowed him to block out his ex-lovers and current partners, his new family and his old family and a host of smiling royals whose attention he didn't deserve. Sound seemed to cut away as he ascended the alter where King Edmund and the bishop were waiting, King Adam and Queen Belle standing just off to the side in a show of support.

He got through the vows of leadership mechanically, for all that he'd spent weeks panicking over them. He recited each perfectly, earning increasingly pleased smiles from his grandfather before he finally prepared to slide to his knees, the bishop turning to the crowd to address them one last time before Harry was properly coronated.

"Are there any among you who object to this coronation?" the bishop asked, mostly for tradition's sake. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

King Edmund and King Eugene had assured Harry many times over that no one would say anything at this point. That they would pause for a moment before moving on, and then he'd be crowned and presented and they could go eat snacks. King Eugene was very insistent on the snack thing, apparently it had been the hope he'd clung to for his coronation.

Harry knew snacks were a paltry offering for the current woes waging in his heart, but at this point, he would gladly take it as a bright spot, at least until that moment of supposed silence was distinctly broken.

"I object," a regal looking blond woman announced, her clothes overly ornate and gaze as sharp as the crown resting on her head. "Let the record show that Queen Ingrith of Ulstead objects to this coronation."

"Oh good," another older queen murmured, dressed almost entirely in black. "Someone with some sense. Let the record show that Queen Narissa of Andalasia also objects."

"Weselton objects!" another dignitary offered, predictably followed by the Southern Isles objecting, and at this point Harry wasn't even humiliated because it seemed to be all so very predictable.

At least Uma had already disowned him. This wouldn't make her look bad.

"Honestly," Queen Ingrith spoke up. "Do you expect us to say nothing as you attempt to coronate someone so obviously unsuited? We all celebrate the return of your grandson, King Edmund, but making him heir to anything would be a bit of a stretch. The boy didn't even qualify for regular schooling."

Harry didn't flinch. There was no point in it, she hadn't said anything that wasn't true.

"The Isle of Galifem objects!" a woman in ornamental warrior wear called.

"Merroway Cove objects!" another man called.

"As does Khaldoun!"

"That's seven," the bishop said, shifting a somewhat nervous look to King Edmund. "One more and we'll be forced to call for a council review."

"This is preposterous," King Edmund rumbled, for once shifting out of his look of constant joviality to appear something like the warrior Harry knew he had to be. "Who the Dark Kingdom chooses for its heir is none of your business. This is a power move concealed as concern, and I won't stand for it!"

"Do I get a vote?" Harry asked the bishop quietly, noting the growing tension in the crowd.

The bishop blinked at him, startled, as did King Edmund. "You could resign from consideration, I suppose."

"Cayden," King Edmund began to say, his brows furrowed in concern. "Please-"

"I'll do that, then," Harry said, walking off before they could have a fucking conversation about it.

It was fortunate that he was so very paranoid. That he'd already reviewed the blueprints for the throne room so he could have an idea for all potential retreats. He took the side door located closer to his Isle family instead of his biological one, pushing out into a small side hall and going he didn't even know where, just so long as he was by himself.

Though he couldn't even get that much before of course Harriet followed after him, CJ hot on her heels and Sammy her constant shadow. Mr. Smee likely held back to keep an eye on Squeaky and Squirmy, who probably didn't understand what just happened. They thought too highly of Harry, they always had. He had to know that their hero worship would always end in disappointment.

"What the hell are ye doing?" Harriet hissed as she marched to catch up with him. "Get back in there and get your damn crown, ye idiot."

"They don't want me to have it," Harry snapped, tugging off his ceremonial gauntlets in angry motions and tossing them aside. "And the only reason I wanted it was to give it to Uma, and she won't have me anymore!" With the gauntlets gone, he got to work on his gloves. "What's the fucking point? I'd be an awful king. I couldn't even be a good fucking representative."

"Harry, ye were a fine fucking representative," Harriet shot back, and it didn't even look like it pained her to say as much. "Have ye ever thought-"

"Perfect," a new voice interrupted, and the four of them rounded the corner to see what was likely a group of assassins waiting for them, all dressed in Corona guard uniforms and waiting with swords drawn. There was maybe thirty of them in total. "We can get all of you at once."

Well, at least they were finally learning.

"Ye can fucking try," Harriet snarled, hook brandished high as she removed the ceremonial sword she'd been given to wear, and maybe Harry had ensured they were more effective than ornamental in case of something just like this, but he hadn't thought anything would come of it. Honestly, after two assassination attempts, he'd have thought they were done with him.

"What the hell do ye want?" Harry snapped as Sammy and CJ readied their weapons, Harry transforming his own hook and holding it at the ready in his left hand. "I already declined the throne. Ye won."

"The hell ye did," Harriet muttered. "You're wearing that damn crown if I gotta slit the throat of every objector in there. What the hell are they going to do? Send me to the Isle? Oh no."

"Maybe I should help ye," Harry shot back. "Then I could go fucking home."

"Idiot," Harriet sighed. "Ye can have more than one shitting home-"

"Guys," Sammy said, his sling held up the ready. Seemed like he'd been armed with powder bombs as well. "Could we focus on the people who want to kill us, please?"

"Always so polite," CJ grumbled before they launched their attack, Sammy riddling the crowd with powder bombs before they threw themselves into the fray.

"This is fucking stupid!" Harriet snarled as she alternated between knocking people out and gutting them. "Who does this kind of sloppy, ineffective bullshit? They didn't even wait for us to be unarmed. They could have fucking killed ye in your sleep but no, they had to make a production of it!"

"That's the shit I've been dealing with!" Harry shot back. "Total amateur hour!"

"It's a fucking insult, is what it is!"

The banter was habitual and calming by way of its familiarity, and a steady distraction from the fact that they were, without question, losing. More disguised attackers were streaming in for every few they knocked down, and Sammy could only shoot so many pellets before he risked incapacitating one of them. As much as they nagged the lack of subtlety with the attack, there was no question as to its effectiveness.

Harriet and Harry tried to keep CJ and Sammy behind them, tried to create an opening so they could run. Whether they would take it or not was another question, but they had to at least try. They had to do that much. They had to-

A flash of light, and suddenly Jay was there, his hands glowing with red, pulsing energy that he waved in an intricate pattern, muttering something under his breath in Agraben. In the next moment, the attackers still on their feet immediately collapsed, seemingly unconscious, leaving them surrounded by a hoard of bodies.

"Holy shit," Jay said, his determined expression shifting into one of shock. "Does literally everyone want to kill you here?"

It sounded like a joke, some of their usual banter they would have indulged were they actually still friends. As such, it cut Harry straight to the core, left him floundering as he sensed the approach of others, even if he didn't know who they were.

"Sorry," he gasped, heat building in his eyes. "I'm sorry-"

Jay gave him another startled look. "Hey, that's- Harry, this isn't your fault. Also…" He closed the distance between them in determined strides, seeming not to care about the blood that splattered Harry's ceremonial outfit. "Please don't cry. Mal and Uma sprung the whole wedding thing on us, but I need to know where your head's at, because we sent you to Auradon and suddenly you were dating five other people and while I have a good idea why that is, I kind of want to know what your exit strategy was for that little relationship."

He was cupping Harry's face between his hands, grip so very gentle it made Harry shudder because this- this was what he'd been missing. He'd missed Jay, and his loyalty and his dashing looks and his soft consideration. He'd missed him so much he couldn't help but cry, because Jay wasn't his to want anymore. Uma had declared that, and what Uma wanted went.

"I um- thought it was obvious," Harry sniffed, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. "They'd dump me. They'd have to, eventually."

"Okay," Jay said, giving him a small smile that made Harry think maybe the Agraben didn't entirely hate him. "That's what I thought, but I think maybe they might disagree with that."

"It's inevitable, though," Harry murmured. "Ye fucking saw all those objections. Eventually they'll realize all those people were right and this new family will figure out I'm broken like da said-"

"Fucking, forget our dipshit father, Harry," Harriet snapped, moving so that she was in his line of sight. "He was a psychotic, abusive asshole. Just because he spent the first eight years of your life nitpicking everything ye did and beating ye when it didn't measure up to his perfect understanding of what he thought a man should be doesn't mean he was right. I mean – who the fuck asks an eight-year-old to stick their hand in the water and wait for a crocodile to bite it off?"

"Harriet…" Harry began, swamped with sorrow as he kept his gaze pinned to her face, not daring to drop his focus to the stub where her left hand used to be, a signature hook gleaming in the bright light of the hallway, covered in blood.

"He got me with his crazy because I was desperate for his approval," Harriet snapped. "But you left."

"I was scared."

"And good on ye for that," Harriet pressed. "Good on ye for heeding your damn fears and getting out of there. Getting to Uma. It was the best thing ye could have done, and that doesn't make ye a coward, it doesn't make ye unfit."

"It doesn't make you a failure," Jay said, capturing Harry's attention with ruthless efficiency. "Harry, your father – all of our parents – they were psychopaths. We can't believe the garbage they fed us and still get by; we have to move on. Those people you're dating – I mean, they seem to care about you a lot-"

"They don't know me," Harry hissed. "If they did-"

"Sweet Evil, Harry," Harriet growled. "You're not that good an actor. They know ye plenty well."

"They care about you because they know you," Jay declared. "And you are so wonderfully amazing they couldn't help but fall for you. Now, I need to know if you care for them in return."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, feeling new tears slip down his cheeks. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I promise, I- when they dump me-"

"They're not going to fucking dump you," Jay snapped, dragging him forward into a hug. "Just like we wouldn't have dumped you for being separated from us."

"But…" Harry shuddered against his chest. "Everything ends. It always ends, and I have to pick up the pieces, and-" He buried his neck against the curve of Jay's shoulder. "I just want Uma. I'm not fit for her anymore, but I want- if I grovel, do ye think she'll let me work for her again? She doesn't have to pay attention to me, I just- I want-"

"Harry." And there was Uma, her hand on his cheek, her gaze soft and concerned and nothing like the detached picture of neutrality she'd faced earlier. "Sweet Evil, Hook."

"Uma," Harry croaked, leaning into her touch. "The- I got this, for ye," he said. "The crown, I mean, I was gonna- I didn't want it but I was gonna give it to ye, it's all- it's- I promise it was for ye."

"Harry," Uma repeated, tilting her forehead against his. "Was Prince Ben for me too?"

"If I could give him to ye, I would," Harry said. "What's mine is yours, captain, I didn't forget that. I'm sorry I'm weak. I'm sorry I embarrassed ye."

"You have never embarrassed me," Uma said, her voice gravely serious. "You've never embarrassed any of us."

"But ye don't want me anymore," Harry whispered. "I know I fucked up-"

"Harry," Uma interrupted. "You went on tv claiming five other people. You suddenly became a prince and made no effort to reach out to us." She paused, sighing. "I might have been insecure. Thought you didn't want us anymore."

"I couldn't risk the notes getting compromised," Harry pressed, his voice threatening to crack. "And the only reason I did any of this was for ye."

"I know, Harry," Uma sighed again. "You didn't want to leave but you did it because we asked you to, and that's on us."

"Thank you," Jay said, seeming vindicated. "I told you he needed a support structure-"

"Don't gloat now, Jadir, it's obnoxious."

"Excuse me," and that was Ben cutting in, joining their group with a confused expression. "Sonny, did you- did you really think we were going to dump you?"

"Ah hell," Harry croaked, reaching up to rub at his eye. "Ye were here for that."

"We've been here for most of it," Ben said. "Lonnie's holding Aziz back now."

"And I'm not happy about it," Aziz grumbled from some distance away, startling a laugh out of Harry.

"Get in fucking line," Mal shot back somewhere near the Agraben prince.

"Can we talk?" Ben asked, curling an arm around Harry's shoulder, heedless of how close it brought him to Jay. "Because I feel like we have a lot of stuff we need to cover."

"Sure," Harry said, figuring they may as well get it over with.

"Bright side," a new voice said, and they looked over to see Uncle Varian draw close to their group. "We finally figured out who was trying to kill you."

"And also who arranged for your kidnapping," Uncle Vance chirped, because apparently all of Harry's family decided to look upon the remnants of their bloodbath. "The first and the second one. Turns out, it was all those lovely people who objected to your coronation."

"And since they're, you know, arrested," Varian said. "Their votes don't count. So technically, no one objected at all."

"I do, though," Harry sniffed. "I object a lot."

"Well, I order you not to," Uma said, like it was as simple as that. "You're going to become a prince, and you're going to be a damn good one because you're already a damn good leader."

"I'm not, though." Harry shook his head. "I'm weak."

"Harry Hook," Uma said, her tone hard. "Who do you belong to?"

"You," he said, feeling his body relax at the familiar affirmation.

"And what do I own?" Uma asked.

"The best," Harry said.

"You are mine," Uma repeated. "So what does that make you?" Harry paused for a moment, not feeling like he'd earned the validation, but Uma was relentless. "What does that make you?"

"The best," Harry echoed, his voice small.

"Louder," Uma ordered.

"I'm the best," Harry said, feeling his cheeks darken.

"Damn right, you are," Uma said, grinning wide. "If you're really not ready for it now, it can wait, Harry. It can always wait. This is our new world, and you don't have to do a damn thing you don't want to, but don't turn it down because you don't think you're good enough, because that couldn't be further from the truth. You are the best, and the best is more than capable of ruling a kingdom, of having a family that loves him, of having a multitude of partners to dote upon him."

"Which is a thing we need to talk about," Jay chirped. "Because I'm not marrying you guys without Harry."

At that, Ben let out a low growl. "You're not taking him-"

"Stop snarling," Uma ordered. "We're not depriving Harry of anyone else that he loves. If he trusts you guys, we do too."

Ben blinked, surprised at how thoroughly his anger was cut off and seeming a bit off balance because of that. "What?"

Jay reached up and gave his cheeks a few comforting pats. "Be prepared to date a bunch more people, is all we're saying."

"What?"

-:-:-

His family – both sets – were kind enough to allow Harry a private moment with his current and ex-lovers. They were funneled into a private sitting room that his- that Lady Cassandra swore up and down was safe.

"This still isn't the craziest coronation we've had," she informed him as she ran a hand through his hair.

"Yep, we don't do normal," King Eugene chirped. "So don't worry about it. The guests are going to chat it up in the ballroom while we finish arresting everyone, so you take your time."

"We love you," Queen Rapunzel said, nuzzling his hair. "We love you so much. That will never change, Harry. No matter what you do, that will not change."

Ugh, she must have heard what he said about disappointing them. It was like he couldn't help but be humiliating.

"Could ye um- look at my sister's hand?" he asked, desperate for a change of subject, and the queen merely grinned at him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before she whisked herself away to check on Harry's other siblings.

And then it was just Harry positioned between his old partners and his new partners in a kind of standoff that he was wildly unqualified to manage.

"This is simple," Jay said, clapping his hands together. "Harry loves you guys, and we trust Harry."

"And also love him," Evie added, her gaze fierce, as though begging one of them to argue this point.

"Right." Jay grinned. "We love him and if he loves you, we are also willing to love you. Bam, everyone wins."

"Um." Chad said, tugging at his dress uniform cuff. "I'm still a little confused. I thought you guys were going to marry each other? Why do you want Sonny? Or- Harry?" He sent Harry a confused look. "Is that their nickname for you?"

"Yeah," Harry said, feeling his cheeks flush slightly. "When I introduced myself as Harrison, Ben came up with the nickname Sonny. So um-"

"So you followed Ben's lead," Jay deduced. "Which I'm guessing you did a lot in a desperate attempt not to make the Isle look bad."

"Right," Harry said, getting an unhappy look from Uma.

"Harry, you aren't capable of making the Isle look bad," she declared. "That's why we sent you in the first place."

"But…" Harry began. "But I had to change so much about me."

That made his current partners tense – actually, it made everyone tense, but it mostly made Evie look stricken.

"No, Harry – just the way you dressed," the princess murmured. "We wanted to give you a shot at blending in so you wouldn't feel self-conscious because even if you say you're not, we know you get that way. And I thought your makeup was another distancing measure, I didn't realize that was something that made you feel happy." Evie's expression crumpled into something truly apologetic, and Harry wondered how he could have ever thought she might have hated him, not when she'd always been pure and kind and sweet. "I'm sorry, Harry, I did it all wrong. I didn't mean to make you feel like you weren't good enough, I just thought maybe you'd have fun getting to focus on your sewing rather than fighting. We all know you hate violence."

"You didn't mention you felt uneasy about this before leaving," Uma said. "We've got rules about that shit."

"I know, captain," Harry murmured. "I just- I didn't want to disappoint ye."

"So he got in his mission mindset," Jay finished. "The one where he'll do pretty much anything if he thinks it will aid the mission, to the point of detriment."

Ben tensed. "Dating us, was that-?"

"Weren't you listening?" Uma asked. "He figured you'd dump him."

"I have a few things I'd like to say about that," Aziz spoke up. "Later, of course."

"Think a couple of us feel that way," Lonnie said, one arm wrapped around Doug's shoulders.

Ben fidgeted. "But um- did he want to date us at all, or did he just feel obligated to?"

Instead of answering, Uma turned to face her wayward first mate. "Harry, tell me all the reasons why you love Prince Ben."

"Oh." Harry flushed, feeling hot. It wasn't something he particularly wanted to do, but Uma asked, and he could deny her nothing. Or- he didn't want to. Because he had a choice. "He's sweet, captain. He loves books, loves them, and would gladly lose a day buried in them but he would never allow that because he's so devoted to his people, devoted to making Auradon a better place. He's generous and just- thoughtlessly kind, and he's not afraid to acknowledge when he's in the wrong. When he realized why Chad acted the way he did, he changed his behavior towards him without thinking, without objecting, because it was the right thing to do. He doesn't have pride, not really, or if he does it's entirely reserved for us – because he made one of us smile or laugh or comfortable. He tries hard to stay calm but sometimes his beast takes over and he always feels terrible after the fact, always strives to make sure it won't happen again because anything less is unacceptable."

Uma cut him off before he could keep rambling, turning her sharp gaze back to Ben. "I haven't been here, so I don't know how your relationship started, but I can bet almost anything that the only reason Harry allowed it was because he thought it would make you happy. Which I realize to you probably sounds awful, but if you haven't realized it by this point, Harry doesn't go out of the way to indulge himself or his own happiness. He never would have thought to ask you out on his own, but I don't doubt for a second that he loves each and every one of you. Has a little speech like that for every one of you, the same way he'd have a speech for each of us."

Ben considered her for a moment, then turned his gaze to Harry, his expression neutral. "Could you please tell us all the reasons you love Queen Uma?"

"It would take years," Jay drawled, letting his head fall back with a sigh. "Just give them the highlights, Harry."

"I will give them whatever the fuck I want," Harry snarled. "Uma is- she was the first person I ever loved. The first person I ever dared to try caring for. I was certain nothing would come of it, but just getting to work by her side, that was enough for me. She's always been generous and brave and strong, been unyielding when others would break. She recruited orphans for her crew instead of other VKs, she could run the Chip Shoppe with perfect efficiency even though she hated it. She's lovely and brave and when I came to her proposing a partnership, so sure she would throw me out on my ass, she looked me over – scrawny and dirty and wavering on my feet – and threw me a dishtowel. She shared her pallet with me in the attic of the Chip Shoppe, threatened to gut me if there was any funny business." He smiled, at once overwhelmed with fondness. "As though I'd ever dare."

"I'm sensing a recurring theme here," Lonnie said, her voice gentle. "Of low self-esteem."

"It is a constant bane," Mal spoke up, her eyes blazing green. "It had been getting better when we took over the Isle, but-"

"But that was with our constant reassurance," Jay spoke up. "And I'm sure you guys have been reassuring him as well, but since he didn't feel like his 'true self' or whatever, it didn't take."

Harry flushed, embarrassed by the accurate deduction. "I'm a fucking mess-"

"No, you're Harry," that was Gil, who could seem to hold himself back no longer, Gil who stubbornly wrapped himself around Harry and burrowed a morose expression against his shoulder. "You're pretty and kind and you let me cuddle you even though you didn't like me."

"Gilly," Harry sighed, carding a hand through Gil's loose curls.

"I missed you so much," Gil croaked, shuddering against him. "I cry myself to sleep all the time, and then I saw pictures of you in your pretty makeup with your shiny boots and I'd miss you even more, because you looked so happy and I wanted to be there with you. I wanted to make you smile."

"Gil…" Harry didn't know what to say. "I'm not- I'm not the same person that left."

"Yeah, you're a super handsome prince now," Gil sniffed. "Dating other super handsome princes and a musician and a badass warrior lady."

"I'm not a prince," Harry hissed, because this terribly awry coronation should have proved that well enough. "And I got soft-"

"But you've always been soft," Gil said, blinking up at him with a confused look. "You're just really good at hiding it."

For a moment, Harry was just struck still, and then Uma was sighing. "You say 'soft'," she murmured, curling a hand around Harry's shoulder. "We say sensitive or empathetic-"

"Greedy," Harry interrupted. "Stupid."

"You're not stupid," Doug snapped, his lips pressed together in an unhappy line. "You never have been and you never will be stupid, Sonny – Harry. And if we have to keep telling you that every day for the rest of your life for that to take, we will, because you have always been and will forever be a blessing in our lives."

There was a beat where everyone tried to process this.

"I like that guy," Carlos murmured, seeming somewhat dazed before his cheeks flooded in a dark flush, like he hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"I like him too," Uma declared, giving Doug an appreciative look. "He's right, and I didn't realize how right he was until you left the Isle. I knew your absence would be hard, but I didn't realize how difficult it would be, exactly. We've been together since we were eight years old, and you were the first person who ever believed in me, who supported me without any kind of ulterior motive. Losing that was a hard blow, and I'll admit I might have closed myself off in an effort to make it hurt less. May have buried myself in work, and then we saw you dating new people, saw you smiling with your new family- I decided it was over because it hurt too much to make an effort to untangle the mess."

"I didn't really help," Mal muttered. "I was angry too. You were supposed to be ours, and then they got to see you dress up and be pretty and cuddle with you and hold your hand and shit."

"You think so highly of us," Uma said. "And so lowly of yourself. We made our engagement announcement and you just figured that was it. You didn't even try to fight it, you just took it, and that made me mad too."

"It shouldn't have," Jay interrupted. "Harry's number one goal has always been your happiness, Uma, it gave him a reason to keep going."

"And then we put him in a situation where he could only equate the Isle's success to your happiness," Evie spoke up. "Which led to him putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on himself."

"Which was what I was afraid would happen," Jay sighed. "Look, the long and short of it is that we're a group of people who love Harry Hook or Sonny Smee or Cayden Fitzherbert a fuck ton. We can argue the steps that brought us here, but the important thing is that we love him, and he loves us."

"So… you think we should all date?" Aziz asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

"I mean, we've all pretty much already been vouched for," Jay said with a shrug. "We are Harry-approved, and Harry's the best. Therefore, we are all the best."

"Stupid," Harry muttered, dragging a hand over his face. "Don't be fucking stupid."

"If it's for you, sweet cheeks, I'll be as stupid as I want," Jay said with a wink, flirting with Harry as easily as he always did.

There was a moment of silence, and then-

"Okay," Lonnie declared, making everyone blink. "I can work with this."

"Um," Chad said, shifting uneasily. "Theoretically, what if um- they think some of us are too obnoxious to date?"

Instead of answering this, Harry turned his attention to Gil. "Would ye go cuddle Chad, please?" he asked. "I think you'll like him."

"Okay, Harry," Gil chirped, pressing a kiss to his cheek before he strode across the room, gathering a flushing Chad into his arms with a startled squawk. "Hello, Mr. Prince. I was very jealous of you a few hours ago even though I was happy Harry could get someone as amazing as you to love him. I mean, obviously you love him, he's the best."

"Aw, geez," Chad murmured, shuddering into his hold before he clung tight to Gil's shirt.

"For the record, that's not going to happen," Evie declared, the lot of them smiling as their two blonds cuddled together. "Like Jay said, we've all already been Harry-approved. Sure, there will be a period where we get to know each other, and maybe some of us won't move past strong friendships, but that doesn't mean we can't be together and appreciate each other for who we are."

Harry bit at his bottom lip, mostly because this seemed too good to be true. Getting everything he wanted, everyone seeming happy, there had to be a catch.

Well, obviously this wouldn't be permanent. They were still teenagers after all, going through phases-

"I don't like that face," Ben declared, moving to more or less cuddle Harry with Uma.

"Yeah, we're not fans of it either," Uma said, studying Harry with narrowed eyes. "What's going on in your head, Hook?"

"Just…" Harry said, flushing. "It's nothing-"

"You think it won't last," Ben deduced, a lightbulb seeming to go off behind his gaze.

"We're teenagers," Harry pressed. "Of course it won't."

"Fun fact," Lonnie interrupted. "Ben's been shopping for engagement rings. This is supposed to be a surprise, but Ben has no subtlety."

"I'll get rings for all of us if it will prove our dedication," Ben pressed, not denying what Lonnie said, which meant he had been looking for rings, that he still wanted to give them despite the fact that Harry was a liar and covered in blood and had been shamed out of getting coronated, a failure in almost every way.

"Asshole," Mal snapped. "We will get them rings. We, as in, you, me, and Uma, got it?"

Ben met her glowing gaze with a low growl, leading to an intense stare down before Mal strode forward and hooked her finger into the collar of his dress outfit, dragging him down to-

Oh, they were kissing.

"Classy, Bertha," Uma drawled, amusement in her tone.

"Like they haven't been eye fucking since the moment they met," Aziz muttered, gaining Lonnie's interest.

"Jealous, Bobolonius?" Lonnie asked.

Aziz shifted uneasily. "I mean, the rest of us are pretty great too."

"This is true," Jay agreed, making a show of looking Aziz over. "Especially in those pants."

Lonnie perked up. "They're great, aren't they?"

"Incredibly," Jay agreed.

"You should help me look them over," Lonnie said, a spark of mischief in her eye. "Test the fit and structural integrity, you know? Just to be safe."

"I think we might need a second opinion," Jay declared, and then he was grabbing Evie's wrist tugging her over giggling visage over towards an Aziz that had flushed crimson.

At some point during the exchange, Gil had settled down on one of the couches with Chad in his lap, the two blonds trading shy kisses while Gil cupped between Chad's legs, making him shiver with a delightful cry.

"Should have known this would devolve into sex shit," Uma muttered, looking over them fondly before her gaze landed on Doug. "Don't think I forgot about you, champ. That sweet talk of yours deserves a reward."

Doug flushed crimson. "I'm um- I can't go past making out until I um- present my first courting gift to you, though. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for that, sweetheart," Uma said, carding her fingers through Doug's silky locks. "We'll just make those kisses count."

And then she was boxing him against the wall, Doug's flush spilling down his neck as he tentatively reciprocated, trying hard to stay in control.

Carlos approached Harry carefully, clearing his throat. "I guess you're stuck with me, then."

Harry growled. "No one's fucking stuck with ye, ye hear me?" he snapped before dragging Carlos into a filthy kiss, ravishing him the way he'd been wanting to since he saw him in his smart suit.

"Harry," Carlos gasped, rutting against his thigh already, a telling hardness straining against his pants from that alone. "Harry, Harry."

"I love ye too," Harry said, pulling Carlos into another kiss, and yes, this was lunacy, and maybe it would all end terribly, but-

But for now, they had each other, and that counted. It counted for a lot.

-:-:-

Eventually, they had to straighten up and do adult things like return to the coronation Harry had already given up on. It was fortunate that Jay seemed to prioritize sex when it came to learning magic as he was able to clean up any accidental mishaps with a wink and a glowing sweep of his hand. More than one of them could use it, not that the cleanup could hide the bruises Mal and Ben had sucked into each other's necks, each of them seeming proud of the bite marks they'd left behind, even if Ben was a little embarrassed.

"Don't be," Mal ordered, letting him nibble at her wrist. "I like your inner beasty."

Ben's response was to simply shudder, leaning into the hand she cupped against his cheek.

Some couplings were more explosive in nature than others.

Harry was also a bit worried about the Lonnie/Jay power dynamic, the two of them seeming to get along like true partners in crime. Harry would have worried that Aziz might feel like he was getting left out, but both of them were determined to dote on the Agraben prince as much as they doted on Evie, which was a lovely sight indeed. Chad and Gil were a match made perfect in Harry's heart, and watching the two of them stroll hand-in-hand, trading quiet conversations and bashful kisses was not a thing Harry knew he needed until he finally saw it. He knew he wasn't the only one who felt this way, Uma looking them over in hunger and approval more than once, Ben doing the same.

After they'd ravished their respective partners, Uma and Harry had coaxed Doug and Carlos together, the two of them working through their usual reserve to talk about electronics once Doug realized Carlos' watch was custom made, sending them on a whirlwind of tech talk, Doug showing Carlos his phone and making comments about cementing a more permanent communication system between the mainland and the Isle to prevent future issues.

"It's a good crew, Harry," Uma said, curling her hand in his as they walked towards the sitting room that held his family – not biological or Isle-bound, just his family, because they all counted now. "You did well."

"Thank ye," Harry said, cheeks flushing dark as he reveled in her support, something he'd been so long without. "I'm sorry, Captain-"

"We don't need to start that up again," Uma cut him off, not rolling her eyes even when it was obvious she wanted to.

"But I gotta say it," Harry pressed. "I made ye look bad, turning my back to ye in the eyes of the public. I wasn't thinking. Evie didn't specify if Sonny was single and I didn't ask because I was scared of what the answer would be."

"The answer would be that you're mine, Harry," Uma said, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "No matter what, always and forever, you're mine."

"And also Chad's," Lonnie chirped, walking hand in hand with Evie beside them. "And mine. And Evie's."

"Ye think we can actually do this?" Harry asked, throat feeling tight with disbelief and hope. "It was already a stretch before – Ben's dad didn't want it-"

"Fuck my dad," Ben cut in simply, earning an approving cackle from Mal. "Figuratively, but seriously, forget what he said. Our lives are our own, and we should lead them the way we want to. And if we want this, then that's what matters."

"But it's not normal," Harry said, feeling his cheeks heat with embarrassment. They'd already thought him unfit before when it had just been five partners, who knew how many people would object now, assuming Harry tried to be coronated again.

"Forget normal," Mal scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Who needs normal?"

"And more than that," Doug spoke up, a dark flush spilling across the bridge of his nose as he and Carlos upgraded to holding hands. "Who decides what normal is? We've been over this, Sonny, we've all got our own standard of normal, and even if we don't hit that, at least we can be something close to it, right?"

"You know, in the same general vicinity," Jay chirped. "Next to it, just on the horizon."

"Yes," Aziz grinned. "Let's all be next to normal, that sounds like it would fit us much better."

"I agree with the son of my dead dad's arch nemesis," Jay declared, wrapping an arm around Aziz's waist and dragging him close with a squawk. "I will admit, that does add to your allure. May I sex you later?"

"Light," Aziz groaned, blushing and lovely for it, because usually he was the unrepentant flirt.

"Oh yeah," Lonnie cackled. "I am seeing nothing but benefits with this new arrangement."

"Ye all are lunatics," Harry muttered, but he had Uma on one side and Gil on the other, Chad offering him bright smiles and everyone he cared about in one place, going towards the rest of the people he cared about, so maybe it wasn't as scary as it had been this morning.

"Your lunatics," Mal hummed, tugging Ben forward. "Now let's go finish this coronation."

Harry sighed. "They won't-"

"They're gonna," Uma and Ben said about the same time, the two of them sharing a delighted look before they pushed forward into the sitting room, into the future.

-:-:-

Harry was coronated in the ballroom at his grandfather's behest, seeing as he'd already said all the vows he needed to in the cathedral. This was met with immediate and overwhelming applause, his dad – his actual dad – leading the charge for the celebration, calling in trays of snacks and drinks as the band started to play a festive tune.

As expected, Harry was in high demand that night. Not just from his partners, but from his family.

"Check it," Harriet said, almost bashful as she held up her left arm to reveal a hand – firm and true – where her hook used to be. "Your mum's magic hair really is the shit."

"She's your mum too," Harry shot back, grin likely manic as he took Harriet's reclaimed fingers in his own. "Like I'm dealing with all these new crazies alone."

"Probably for the best, then," Harriet hummed, looking over to where CJ was dragging King Eugene around the dancefloor. "That little shit's got our dad wrapped around her finger."

"As she damn should," Harry said, puffing up with pride before he was stolen away by Ruby for the next dance.

"This is the best day ever!" Ruby declared, spinning him in wild circles. "I mean, the part where people were mean and tried to kill you wasn't great, and the almost-heartbreak, but our family's so much bigger now and I love it. Harriet and Sammy are so cool!"

"Don't let her hear ye say that," Harry grumbled. "But ye can tell Sammy. Poor lug has to deal with my- our sister's crazy on the regular."

"And now he gets to deal with all our crazy," Ruby hummed before she abandoned all pretense of dancing to drag him into a hug. "You know this is forever, right? We're not going to stop loving you, even if you go evil and try to take over the world or something. You're not going to disappoint us because of how you dress or who you date or what your grades are in school."

It was an echo of something his parents had already said, but now all of his family seemed determined to repeat it to him constantly, even Squeaky and Squirmy, who rarely felt comfortable enough to talk.

"What were ye expecting?" Harriet scoffed when Harry had been trying to swallow down tears of happiness. "They fucking love ye, stupid."

"They love you too, Harriet," Mr. Smee had added in that kind, gentle voice of his, and maybe Harry hadn't been the only Hook crying after that reunion.

"So… six more partners?" his dad said when they both managed to catch a breather, King Eugene determined to heap the 'best snacks' onto Harry's plate, as though there were any bad ones. "Love it. I'm all for it. As long as you communicate and respect each other and don't try to cut anyone out of anymore marriages, I'm totally in support of this."

"Dad," Harry groaned, though that only made the king smile wider, because Harry had stopped referring to him as king.

"I'm not even surprised," Sultana Jasmine offered, General Mulan nodding sagely beside her. "Honestly, I'm not. You take care of each other, Sonny, and as long as you do that, we'll support you."

"I was expecting more of an objection," Harry said, gaze traveling to the dancefloor where Aziz was guiding Mal in giggling circles. Lonnie wasn't far from them with Carlos, the young De Ville seeming entirely in awe with the might of Lonnie's strong personality.

"We trust you," General Mulan murmured. "And we trust our children."

"Besides," Sultana Jasmine spoke up. "I think poor Adam's going to do all the objecting for us."

"Internally," General Mulan added. "Because I don't think Belle's going to let that business pass for a second."

"Oh, hell no," Sultana Jasmine agreed, the two of them sharing a delighted smirk that expressed their appreciation for the queen of Auradon.

It was, overall, an entirely perfect ending, and Harry was still confused as to how he had gotten in, shifting under the foreign weight of his black and teal crown.

"Looking good, Fitzherbert," Uma drawled when he took her out on the dancefloor, Gil nearby with a blushing Doug clinging to his arms, Chad and Evie putting most of them to shame with their effortless grace. "You feeling good too?"

"I'm feeling great," Harry replied, seeing no point in hiding it. Across the floor, Sammy was asking a bashful Jane to dance, Audrey looking more relaxed than he'd ever seen her as she accepted Harriet's invitation out onto the floor. "Almost too great."

"Feels too good to be true?" Uma prompted, one brow raised. "I sympathize. This morning, I thought getting through this coronation would be more of a trial than anything else." She paused, both of them watching Ben get dragged around by an enthusiastic Jay who seemed more focused on flirting than he was dancing. "Amazing what a little communication can do."

"I know, I know," Harry murmured, his cheeks heating in embarrassment. "I'll not forget twice, captain."

"Damn straight, you won't," Uma muttered. "I'm not doing this shit again, Harry. We're together forever, okay? That's our new next to normal."

Harry swallowed, looking out on the crowd of people that had come to celebrate him, his lovers and his friends and his family, teammates and tutors and not one of them looking askance at the former Isle trash that had ascended to the status of royalty, because none of them saw him the awful way Captain Hook had painted him for more than half his life.

"That's perfect for me," he said, allowing himself to bask in the warmth of his happiness without the fear of it getting stolen away.

This was his now, and while he'd always been allowed to keep it, now he finally believed that.

Which was proof that he actually could learn a thing or two, wasn't it?

"Excellent," Uma said, squeezing his hand. "Now let's put the rest of these assholes to shame. Jay's looking a little too smug for my tastes."

"Can't have that now, can we?" Harry cackled, and then he was spinning his captain – his queen – around the dancefloor, effortless and perfect and true, providing everything Harry had ever needed from the beginning to the end, to the new beginnings that unfolded before them.

And that, he decided, would be his next to normal.


-:-:-


Endnotes:

Hey, lookie there, managed to fit in the title – just in case you forgot what it was ;D

Story notes:

I'm pretty sure this is my first time writing the Hook siblings together, and I just love them to pieces. It was a fun experiment, especially with the Smees there to counter their chaos.

Queen Narissa and Andalasia are from the live action movie 'Enchanted'. Queen Ingrith and Ulstead are from the live action movie 'Maleficent – Mistress of Evil'. The Isle of Galifem is from the Aladdin animated series. Khaldoun and Marroway Cove are from the animated series 'Sophia the First'. Khaldoun isn't actually evil, as far as I know, they don't go much into it during the show, it's just an extra kingdom to round up their lineup, but I needed another objector for things to sound impressive so for the moment, their leader's evil. Oops, sorry.

I'm pretty sure I got Bobolonius from the Aladdin wiki. It's part of the Sultan's full name (it came from the Aladdin animated series) and to be honest, I don't know if he has multiple first names or if that's a family name so I just used it as a family name for the sake of expediency.

Again, not one to encourage teenage proposals, but this is escapist fantasy romance nonsense, so we're just going to enjoy this fictional absurdity for what it is.

WARNING – So basically there's a reference in the second scene to Captain Hook giving his kids a test of sorts, which has to do with – you guessed it – his hook. In that they also needed to lose a hand to get their own hook by way of feeding it to an alligator. It obviously didn't happen to Harry, but Harriet does mention it, and I wanted to add the warning so as not to catch anyone off guard.

Until next time :D


-:-:-


'I don't need a life that's normal, that's too far away. But something next to normal would be okay. Yeah, something next to normal, that's the thing I'd like to try. Close enough to normal to get by' – 'Maybe' from the musical Next to Normal.