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Warning for Attorney/Waitress/Muggle!AU, mentions of character death and breaking and entering. The word count is 1,094 words. I hope you all enjoy Gilderoy Lockhart: The Worst Attorney Ever.


Sybil sat petrified in front of the huge oak desk that belonged to the famous attorney Gilderoy Lockhart. She only wished that she could remember what the man was famous for. She knows she had heard the name Gilderoy Lockhart before but she just can't remember where. When the police had asked if she wanted to hire an attorney to try her case Gilderoy's name was the first that had come from her lips.

"Now me through the events of the evening as you remember them," Gilderoy said, smiling a smile which he must have thought was comforting and charming at the same time. It only served to make Sybil more queasy.

"I was just finishing up my shift as a waitress at The Minister's Bar and Grill," Sybil said, thinking back on the events that had landed her in the unfortunate position she was now in. "It was only me and the bartender a man by the name of Lestrange that were left in the restaurant. We had just made our way to the back to begin the routine check to make sure that everything was clean and secure for the evening when the bell rang signaling that someone had entered the restaurant."

"Interesting," Gilderoy interrupted, nodding as though this made all the sense in the world. "Continue, please."

"Well, you see, no one should have been able to enter the restaurant at all," Sybil said, remembering how she and Lestrange had shared a look of surprise. "Lestrange had locked the door before we began our trek to the back storeroom. No one should have been able to get in. No one."

"I see," Gilderoy said, hanging upon her every word as though memorizing it for later. "What happened next?"

"Well, Lestrange goes out to check what's going on and see who had entered the restaurant," Sybil continued. "He had thought that it was one of the owners coming to check up on us and make sure we were doing the close procedure properly. But it not have been because I could hear Lestrange's voice raise angrily at the intruder."

"What exactly did Mr. Lestrange say to the intruder?"

"He asked what the person was doing there and how they'd managed to get in," Sybil said, feeling her whole body begin to shake with fear of the memory of what followed next. "The man's answer was far too quiet for me to hear. But the gunshot that followed echoed through the whole restaurant."

"So this intruder shot Mr. Lestrange?"

Sybil nodded. "I could hear the struggle of the two men even from my hiding spot in the back storeroom," she said, tear springing to her eyes. "Lestrange is…was a much stronger man than he looked like. He used to be on the school wrestling team with his older brother Rodolophus. But the blood loss must have been too much for him. The next thing I know the light that was faintly streaming into my hiding place was blocked out. I could feel myself being hauled up to my feet."

"Do you remember anything else that followed, Sybil?" Gilderoy asked, looking at her sympathetically. "Anything at all?"

"I remember struggling to keep the gun from pointing at me," she answered, the faint memory of her own ragged breathing playing in her ears. "I don't know how but I was almost able to wrest the gun out of his grip before it went off and the man went down like a sack of potatoes."

"The gun went off during the struggle and not after as the police report from one Mr. Riddle says?"

Riddle? Riddle was a neighboring shop owner near the restaurant. He'd complained loads about the patrons of the restaurant coming to his shop and messing about with his things. Sybil wouldn't put it past him to have hired someone to ruin the reputation of the restaurant by making it seem unsafe. She just didn't think that he'd do something like try and ruin her reputation as well. He'd seemed like a friendly old man when she'd first met him.

"The gun went off during the struggle," she said firmly, unbelieving that someone would try and call her memory of events into question. "I'm sure of it. I remember hearing the gunshot and feeling the intruder's hand go slack upon my own. That couldn't have happened if it was after the struggle, am I right?"

"How much do you make as a waitress, Miss Trewlawney?" Gilderoy asked, causing Sybil's cheeks to heat up.

"I don't see what that has to do with anything at all," she said, feeling really indignant at what he seemed to be suggesting.

"Alright." Gilderoy held his hands up in surrender and moved past the question that had offended her. "Did you call the police after you had realized what you had done?"

Sybil nodded.

"Mr. Riddle reports that he had heard raised voices coming from the restaurant before he went and called the police," Gilderoy said, looking at her carefully. "Are you sure that you called the police, Miss Trewlawney? You didn't call anyone else?"

"I called the police," Sybil said, not liking what she was hearing. "There was no one besides myself and the dying man in the restaurant. If you don't believe me you can check the security cameras. If Mr. Riddle really did hear a raised voice at all it was mine when the operator asked if my calling was a prank or not. I'm not the sort to play pranks on hardworking folks. Especially not in regards to someone dying."

"It's funny you should say to check the security cameras because I was told that the tapes had been taken into evidence by the police and had been lost," Gilderoy said, looking at her. "Isn't funny how the one thing that could help you prove your story magically gets lost on its way to the police?"

"How is that funny, Mr. Lockhart?" Sybil asked, her eyes blazing with both anger and fear as she glared at him. "How is any of this funny at all?" It was then that she remembered what she'd heard about Gilderoy Lockhart attorney at law. He was absolutely the worst lawyer to ever lawyer in the entire world and you should only hire him if you were looking to lose your case. "I think that I will take my chances with the public defender. Thank you for your time." She stood up and knocked upon the door leading into the prison proper and walked off back to her cell.


I hope you all enjoyed Gilderoy Lockhart: The Worst Attorney Ever as much as I enjoyed writing it.