2

8 years ago.

"I can't Dimitri, I just can't!" I whispered, desperation in my voice. My eyes stung.

"I know Roza, trust me I know, but we can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this." His voice cracked, and sounded so, so dejected.

"This is killing me" he whispered, a tear leaking from his eyes. I moved from pacing the floor to kneel in front of him on the bed. He had his elbows rested on his knees; head buried in his hands. This strong, fierce man was reduced to a hollow wreck. We both were. I rested my forehead against his, revelling in his scent and heat, and buried my hands into his hair. I loved Dimitri so much, but he was right. This was killing us.

"I…" I stuttered, trying to gather the strength to say the words. "I think this is it. The end".

He lifted his head to meet mine, and I saw the resignation in his eyes. Saw his agreement before he voiced it, and my heart shattered. We were both full-on sobbing now, clutching to each other, and I pressed my lips against his gently, savouring the feeling.

"I will always love you Roza" he whispered, "even if we are not together anymore. You will always be in my heart".


I woke up in bed with a start, gasping at the pain the dream had caused in my chest. I hadn't had this dream for a long time, I used to have it on repeat. The moment we agreed to end things at Adrian's house for Christmas had killed me, and probably always would. We had held each other so tight in bed that night, clutching on for dear life, and had gone before everyone had woken up, blaming some important guardian business. Eddie had been the only one who had known the truth, as he saw us leave in the morning whilst on guard, and both mine and Dimitri's red and swollen eyes had told the truth. I gave him a small headshake, and that was it.

I forced myself out of bed before I could dwell on the memory and grimaced as the full effects of last night hit me. Not only the hangover but seeing Dimitri, him taking me home, I had even thrown up in front of him for god sake. And then yet another bullet hit me. Vasily. My mouth hung open and I stopped hobbling to the bathroom, feet rooted as I thought about what had happened. I groaned audibly and buried my head in my hands.

"Your late" Lissa said, a flicker of annoyance in her voice as I stumbled through the door.

"I'm sorry, not feeling so great" I whispered, coming to a stop next to her.

"This is really important to me!" she whined, before coming to an abrupt halt. She walked closer to me after pausing, scenting me.

"Stop Liss, that's creepy" I grumbled, stepping further away from her, knowing full well what she was going to say. No matter the amount of perfume I had put on today, the alcoholic smell radiating off me was undisguisable.

"Look, I know you're not on duty today and that you don't have to be put together, but I expect you not to turn up still drunk! You know how much I'm dreading this, and I need your support!". Her voice was seriously rising. As usual, I tried to diffuse the situation with a joke.

"Hey, at least the half-drunk dhampir will pull attention from you."

She rolled her eyes but gave up with the chastisement. Today was a royal luncheon. Lissa had implemented them early in her reign, and they were held monthly, serving as a chance for royals to air their opinions. It really was a smart idea, as it meant there was less day-to-day bickering amongst families. Unfortunately, however, they were almost always unbearably dull.

Lissa strode into the hall the luncheon was held in with me and Christian following behind and went to take her seat on the throne. Christian and I stood at either side of her and were purely there for moral support. The luncheon went on, and eventually, I was given a nod from Lissa that signalled she was ok and I could circulate. I almost ran to the food table where I loaded up on plain carbs (I wasn't sure that my stomach would accept anything else and I certainly didn't want to throw up here) and I started to circulate, talking to the people I found least repulsive.

My legs were indeed stiff from the running yesterday, my feet were sore from the barefoot walking and my head was pounding from the hangover. All in all, I was miserable and counting down the hours until this damned thing ended. All of a sudden, someone caught my eye. Someone I wasn't sure I was ready to see after last night.

"Vasily, hi," I said, rather sheepishly. "How's your head?".

"Better than yours," he said winking and defusing the tension between us.

"You're not normally at these things. What gives?" I asked curiously.

"Hans sent me. He needs to talk to you about shifts."

"What, now?" I exclaimed, wincing as it hurt my head. He gave me a quick nod.

"Ughhh, that man," I groaned. "Surely, he should have retired by now. Lemme just go tell Lissa".

Once I had cleared my leave, I headed off with Vasily towards guardian headquarters.

"So… last night" Vasily started. "I had fun".

"I did too" I agreed, smiling. "I had a lot of fun".

"And… us?" he prompted.

"Well, I meant what I said last night. I value our friendship a lot… but I guess I'm not against seeing what happens between us". Thankfully, Lissa's dull luncheon had given me plenty of time to think about what I wanted to do about Vasily.

A huge grin filled Vasily's face, and he fist-pumped the air, making me laugh.

"That's good because I've made a dinner reservation for us at The Octagon on Thursday night."

"A bit presumptuous isn't it?" I teased. "Don't they always say don't count your eggs until they hatch… or something".

He laughed broadly.

"Nothing wrong with confidence in my abilities, Rose" he teased, turning to wink at me. Something about the way he said my name gave me a very, very small flutter. He had an American accent despite growing up in Russia, like a lot of dhampirs did, but there was a faint foreign accent mixed in. Nothing like Dimitri's though.

We entered the guardian building and all conversation halted. Man, if these guys knew what had actually happened between us, they would go nuts. That, or they just wouldn't believe it after all the denying we had done for the past few years!

"Hans," I said walking into his office without bothering to knock. "I really don't appreciate being called here without any notice," I grumbled.

He huffed in response and looked up from his desk, setting down the papers in his hand.

"Take a seat Hathaway". His voice was gruff and… tired. Actually, the more I looked at him I could see the heavy bags under his eyes, the prominent wrinkles and silver hair. Considering the man was older when I graduated, he must be nearing forced retirement now.

Whilst guardians were given the opportunity to join in team guarding and managerial positions (as Dimitri had been called to do), they were forced to retire at 60. There were a lot of rules about older guardians actually fighting (Hans had been grumbling at me for years that all he was allowed to do was sit at a desk), and it was actually a sound law that made them retire at 60. It was presumed, and often true, that if a guardian did choose to extend service that they would never leave. Unless forced. As I say, a sound law.

"This is…well, a delicate matter Hathaway" Hans began, once I had sat down. "As I'm sure you have all speculated, I am nearing retirement.".

The way he said the word 'retirement' made me sure that it was forced.

"I have two candidates for the position, and either would do a fantastic job, but I wanted to get your opinion before I choose".

I felt a flush of pride come to my cheeks, how our relationship had grown from the girl he punished relentlessly, to an esteemed colleague who had some serious respect.

"Who are the candidates?" I asked, exited for the insider's knowledge.

"You are," he said gruffly. "You and Belikov".

My mouth fell open.

"Now, before you speak, hear me out," he said quickly, holding up his hands. "I know that you are young to be considered for this job, and I know that you still have 7 years of active service, but this job won't be here when you are pulled. Belikov would stick it out to the end if I know him as well as I think I do, and so you wouldn't get the opportunity. Now, I think you are both well suited to the role, and definitely qualified, but you have the lead. You have already managed a team, a large team, and have taken on the admin roles along with the job. You have experience of rotating, but also making the important decisions, and you have proved to be right 9/10 times. Belikov, I'm sure, would get to grips with everything, but it would take him a while, and so you are my first choice Hathaway.".

I opened my mouth, but he shook his head and began again.

"Because I understand that you are both very close in the running for this position, I have created a new role within the advisory team. As you know, I have a few guardians to which I delegate the smaller, less important things. Whilst this is certainly useful, it means my workload is massive. I haven't minded, not having a family or anything, but I think it needs to change. The queen has improved so many aspects of dhampir life, and so I am doing my part too. I will be the last ever head guardian. Instead, there will be a president, and a vice-president, who work with a team. The vice-president is the position I will offer to whoever doesn't get the job".

I shut my still open mouth and tried to process his words. This was huge. Re-writing of the law books huge. I loved the idea of having more people involved in important decisions, and I loved how Hans was doing his bit to ensure guardians were treated like people and not machines, but this was a lot of information to take in.

"I… this is huge" I stammered. "I think I'm going to need some time to think over the decision," I said eventually.

Hans nodded and started back on his paperwork, giving me a nod to the door.

My head was reeling as I walked back to my flat. I had been offered the most powerful position a guardian could have. Man, if my mother could see me now. How on earth had I been offered the position over Dimitri? The God of planning and preparation. The thoughts kept flooding through my head, fast and uncontrollable, and I decided that despite last night (the hangover had now faded) I was in need of a drink. I fired off a text to Lissa, my go-to gal for this type of thing.

Yo, drink tonight? I need it.

What's up? Xxx

I don't wanna talk about it. Nothing bad. I promise. X

Wish I could, got a stupid council meeting tonight :(

Booooooo

Bad form

So boring

I'm sorry xxx

Families have been arguing again.

Not wanting to get into moroi politics, I didn't reply to her last message, and instead changed direction, heading to a bar frequented by mainly dhampirs. It was often quiet, and would definitely be now considering it was only 4 am. Perhaps it was bad that I was going back into a bar after less than 12 hours, but I didn't really care right now. I needed to mull thoughts over, and that was a job best done with a beer.

I ordered one, along with two bags of chips, and sat down on a barstool to muse. Unfortunately, a deep Russian voice interrupted me. Why was it so hard for a girl to get a little alone time around here!

"I'm surprised to see you here after last night," Dimitri said, his voice low and rough, but laced with humour.

I shifted on my stool to face him (he was sat two stools down, and I mentally chastised myself for not noticing). I fixed the Hathaway smirk that I knew riled him up on my face.

"And I'm surprised to see you here, considering you don't like fun" I snapped back, still smarting a little that he had rescued me last night.

A sly smile appeared on his face, a warning of the barb that was to come.

"I don't like fun huh? I remember we had a lot of fun at times".

My face went red, and a felt a small (minuscule really) heat begin to grow in my stomach at the recollection of what he was discussing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said primly, turning back to the bar and taking a big gulp of my beer. Dimitri chuckled softly, knowing my ruse all too well.

A few minutes went by as I sipped, and I thought I would finally get some peace when he shuffled up a stool to sit next to me. I shot him a glare and rested my elbows on the bar, huffing loudly, again causing a chuckle.

"You know," he began softly, "You haven't changed in the slightest. Sure, you look older and somehow carry yourself…better, but you haven't changed".

He seemed as if he was talking to himself, that I wasn't listening. But I was.

"I look old?" I screeched, the comment hitting home a little hard after the grey hairs and wrinkles I'd noticed yesterday.

"No, no, not like that," he said grimacing and trying desperately to backtrack. "You are still as beautiful now as you were when we first met.".

Again, I don't think he thought before he spoke. We both went red and took a particular interest in our drinks.

"All I meant Roza, is that you are still the same person I met at St. Vladimir's. You have the same wit, humour, charm, charisma and personality. I'm so glad this life hasn't taken that away from you".

The heat in my belly grew, but I turned to smile at him.

"Good luck to any guy or job that tries to take that away from me, strigoi, moroi or dhampir!" I joked, deflecting just how much those words meant and flashed him a grin.

"So, tell me about you then Comrade". The old nickname was peculiar on my lips but made him smile. Made us both reminisce.

"Well, despite not actually chatting for what, 5 or 6 years…"

I didn't bother to interrupt and say that whilst we had seen each other in passing 6 years ago, we hadn't spoken like this. Not since… the day he left court.

"I haven't really been doing much. The family I guarded were rather reserved, I followed the guy to work, then home, and that was my life.".

"Any friends, girlfriends?" I questioned innocently.

He smiled at me.

"Not really. Friends came and went, not much opportunity to go out and socialise when you're the only protection your family has, and girlfriends, well, there have been girls but nothing close to…well, to something I'd think seriously about". He looked me straight in the eye. "What about you?"

"Well, I have a really good group of friends, mostly guardians, but of course I still see Lissa, and the rest of the gang whenever they come to court. I'm really thankful for the guardians though. They're a good bunch, if a bit unruly" I laughed, thinking about past adventures.

"And boyfriend's?"

"Pretty much the same as you. There have been guys, but never anyone serious."

"And… Vasily?" He questioned, frowning slightly as he remembered the name.

Last night suddenly rushed back to me.

"Well… I don't really know" I said hesitantly.

"Do you care about him?"

"Yeah, a lot". I was sure about that at least. "We have been best friends for years".

"That's always the best ground on which to build a relationship," he said, smiling.

"Yeah… it is" I breathed, remembering that first step Dimitri had taken into accepting that it was more than friendship between us.

"You know, it's really nice to be able to catch up and just… chat," he said, smiling. I smiled and leaned over to give his warm hand a squeeze, feeling the familiar skin and calluses that I used to know so well.

"So how come you found me last night?" I asked, a gleam in my eye.

"Well, luckily for you" he joked, "I had just gotten off the plane and was heading to guest housing for the night before I rescued you."

"Rescued? Pfhhh" I breathed, throwing my arms up in mock dismissal. "I was perfectly fine and capable of looking after myself."

"Sure, if you call looking after yourself being too drunk to stand. Its certainly been a while since I saw you like that".

"Hey, it's been a while since I ended up like that!" I exclaimed. "You had your messes to clean up back in the day" I joked.

"Oh, that I did Roza" he laughed. "You were often the worse mess of all, I used to have to peel you off me and force you in the tub by threatening to withhold sex for a week!"

I laughed at the memory, even if it made my heart sting.

We chatted and chatted, time drifting by until I looked at my clock and realised, I really should be in bed by now considering I was on duty tomorrow. Especially considering Dimitri and I'd had a few more rounds after the first drink. He saw me look at the time and grimace.

"You on shift tomorrow?"

I nodded and pulled a face.

"When do you start?" I asked,

"Not sure. Hans has given me a week to readjust to court life, said he doesn't know what sort of job I will be in yet. I guess I should appreciate the break but I just want to know what sort of crap I'll be doing".

"Now that you're an old man," I said, winking and punching his arm but feeling incredibly guilty that my indecision was holding him up. I really must decide tomorrow. It was barely noticeable, but I knew him better than anyone and saw the small frown my comment caused.

"Hey, don't worry comrade," I said, swishing my hair and smirking. "You're still sexy as hell".

I blurted the comment out without even thinking (perhaps the beer really wasn't a good idea) and Dimitri's mouth actually opened slightly. Unfortunately, it only increased the sexiness even more. Oh man, I needed to go home. He threw off the comment after a few seconds and smiled.

"Want me to walk you home?" He asked.

"Nah I'm good, I think my feet work better tonight. Despite what you saw yesterday, my tolerance really has gotten better!" I argued.

"I will believe that when I see it" he laughed. "Perhaps we could do this again?" he asked hesitantly, almost nervously. "Not as a date or anything" he assured quickly.

I smiled widely.

"Yeah, I'd like that," I said. "It's nice to chat after so long. Perhaps we can be friends again now that you are at court".

"I'd like that" he echoed, a small smile on his face. "Here's my number," he said, showing me

his phone so I could copy it into mine. "Send me a text when you're free and we'll meet up. I'm free pretty much all week until Hans gives me an assignment".

I smiled and assured him I would, before heading out of the bar, towards my flat.

It's Rose. Put me in your phone as 'General Rose'.

I wondered if he would remember the many jokes we had made about who was the general when I'd fled court, but a few seconds later his text gave me my answer.

I'm sure we agreed that Sydney was the general?

Pff. Only one general here.

You can be the general if I can be the driver.

His text made something flutter inside me, and a huge smile appear on my face. He remembered everything. I'm sure I'd said those exact words.

Whatever Comrade. You do you, just

put me in your damn phone.

You always change the subject when you can't win.

Oh, I always win. It may take a while,

but watch this space. Seriously though,

I'm going to check what my name is under

when I next see you.

No worries.

Look forward to it.

Good night Roza

I turned my phone off, a small smile on my face, and walked back to my flat to think about Hans' proposition.

I hope you enjoyed that chapter! I know that it's out rather quickly, but I had finished it ahead of schedule. That, and I'm going to try and post as much as possible whilst my workload is quite low, I was unable to post at all for a few months last year because things got so busy. Hopefully, I will get this story finished before it happens again.

Anyway, please leave me a review to let me know what you thought, I got some really amazing reviews last chapter and I'm so, so grateful! I only got 2 answers about the lemon question, so please let me know what you want! I'm happy to write a scene or two in, but it's just to people's preference. I will go with the majority.

Thanks for all your support!