In which Alfred doesn't keep his fat mouth shut, and gets into even more trouble


When Gilbert had suggested egging Ivan's house, Alfred had agreed on the condition Ivan must not be there when they did. Ivan was quite a large and muscular boy, and though Alfred was quite strong himself, he didn't want to risk getting in a fight with an angry Ivan. Gilbert had assured him Ivan would not be home, he'd heard from a friend who was a friend of someone who knew Ivan's big sister in college that Ivan would be away from home and visiting her that weekend, which is why they had come on a Saturday.

What Alfred had forgotten to take into account, however, was that Ivan didn't live alone, a fact he was regretting more and more as Natalya, the girl known as The Psycho, Terror of West High, Russian fury and many other terrifying titles, but mostly as "Ivan's crazy sister" stood with crossed arms and glared at him. She was known to have a brother complex, even claiming she wanted to marry her big brother, though she wasn't teased about it.

There were two reasons for this, the first being that hearing the word "brother" seemed to activate her complex, and she was known to beat up, break noses and ribs, and on ocassion, dunk heads in the public toilet when anything negative about her brother or her relationship with him was suggested. The second was that agitating her resulted in her clinging to Ivan even more than usual, which agitated him, who had not been proven to have beaten anyone up, but anyone who pissed him off often ended up in a cast that they refused to talk about while Ivan beamed at them in a way that chilled blood.

Basically, messing with either sibling meant both siblings would go after you, which is something nobody wanted, and Alfred was belatedly realizing he'd just placed himself into that exact situation. Inwardly he cursed his traitorous friend who had bolted without warning the instant the door opened, leaving Alfred alone with the damning evidence in his hands, facing a furious Natalya.

"I'll give you 10 seconds to explain."

Natalya graciously offered, and Alfred, sweating furiously, began to defend himself, stumbling over his worlds and backtracking often. Natalya drew her brows to gather and gave him a sharp look, and Alfred flinched and abruptly shut up, for once sensing being quiet might save his life.

"So you're trying to get back at Ivan?" Natalya summed up, not looking at all gracious. "Why? You'd better have a good excuse for it, or else. "

She didn't add any further details to her "or else" but Alfred's active imagination quickly suplied a few, ranging from broken bones to decapitation, and he couldn't help but remembering the pet graveyard behind Ivan's house, the perfect place to hide a began to sweat even harder, and he prayed to a God he didn't actually believe existed to come and save him. No one came, and Natalya continued to glare at him.

Alfred opened his mouth to make a clever excuse. Unfortunately, his mouth didn't take orders from his brain, and just said whatever it wanted.