Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone who has favorited, followed, and/or reviewed my story so far. It is still a work in progress, but I am doing my best to post at least once a week, depending on how chaotic real life is. Thanks for your patience! As always, please leave a review and let me know what you think. Happy reading, everyone! :)
Within a couple of minutes they had arrived. Carlisle slowed to a stop, allowing Bella a moment to get her bearings before he slowly eased her off of his back and into a standing position. "Are you feeling alright, Bella?" Carlisle asked her. Bella nodded, "Yes, that was exhilarating" she said, smiling at him. Carlisle chuckled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. As you can see, the water is only a few feet deep here, so it's the perfect place to swim."
"It's great," Bella said as she moved to float on her back "very beautiful and relaxing." "I'm glad you think so." Carlisle said. "I'm rather partial to it myself. Esme and I have enjoyed several swims here." When he spoke Esme's name aloud, Carlisle felt a pang of guilt about how little he had thought about his wife during his time away with Bella. He realized that he had really gotten caught up in his physical urges and thoughts about the days ahead. He never expected to have such an internal struggle with what was asked of him. He knew this was just a means to an end, and that when their trip was through, he would be going back to Esme, and Bella would be marrying Edward. Deep in thought, Carlisle didn't realize that Bella was watching him intently.
"Carlisle... are you sure you're okay with all of this? I mean... I just don't want this to cause problems with your marriage. I love Esme and can't imagine hurting her." Bella said quietly. "Yes, Bella, I'm alright. I'm sorry about that. I was just reminiscing." Carlisle smiled kindly at her. "I promised that I would be here for you and Edward in whatever way I was needed. I fully intend to keep my promise. Are you still comfortable with everything we have planned?" He asked her, with a concerned expression on his face. He was beginning to wonder if Bella was having second thoughts.
"Yes, I think so." Bella said nervously biting her bottom lip "I mean, I know it's the only way I can be with Edward while I'm still human. You've been great so far, Carlisle. I really appreciate you doing this for me... for us." Bella's mind went to Edward and she began to think about how things would be when she and Carlisle arrived home from their trip. Would Edward want to make love to her right away? Would he want to wait until their honeymoon? Would she feel the same way with him as she was feeling with Carlisle? What if he wasn't as good as Carlisle? Carlisle was the experienced one, after all. Would she be left wanting more from Edward? What if Edward's feelings for her changed after she was with Carlisle?
Taking a deep breath, Bella dunked back under the water, willing it to clear her racing thoughts. When she re-emerged, she ran her hands over her face wiping the water away. "Bella, sweetheart, are you alright? Your heart is racing. A penny for your thoughts?" Carlisle said softly, moving towards her in the water and placing his hand on her lower back. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I was just thinking about Edward." Bella said honestly. "I'm sure you miss him." Carlisle said, nodding his understanding. Bella nodded slowly, looking down. "Yes, I suppose I do." Bella said thoughtfully.
Carlisle could see the uncertainty in Bella's eyes. Meeting her gaze he spoke again. "Bella, are you worried that things won't be the same with Edward when we get home?" Bella blushed and nodded again. She didn't know how Carlisle read her so well. It was like he sensed her emotions and knew exactly the right thing to say. "There's more to it than that, isn't there, sweetheart?" Carlisle said, slowly rubbing his hand in circles on her lower back. Bella bit her lip again and looked down. "Please, Bella, you can be honest with me. I am here for you." Carlisle said sincerely.
Taking a shaky breath, Bella spoke softly again "I just... I guess I was wondering if it will be the same with him. If I will feel... this way when I can be with him intimately. I mean... what if he isn't as good at... all of this... as you? You're so much more experienced. What if he doesn't feel the same way about me after I'm with you? What if..." "Shh, Bella, it's okay" Carlisle said soothingly "It's understandable for you to be feeling unsure. Perhaps you would feel better if you gave Edward a call once we get back to the boat? I have my cell phone with us, and I'm sure he would love to hear from you."
"Thanks, Carlisle. I think maybe that would be good. I'm sure talking with him will help settle my nerves." Bella said with a shy smile. "Of course, sweetheart. Now, I think that's enough of this heavy conversation for now, don't you?" Carlisle asked her. "Yes, of course, Carlisle. I'm sorry for being such a downer." Bella said quietly. "Hey now, there is no need to apologize, sweetheart. Come here." Carlisle opened his arms to her, pulling her into a hug. Bella relaxed into Carlisle's embrace, laying her head against his chest. After a minute, Carlisle released her and met her gaze with a twinkle in his eye. "Stay here, sweet girl, I'll be right back."
Bella looked to him, perplexed as to where he was going, as he disappeared under the water. Less than a minute later, he returned, holding something behind his back. "Close your eyes and open your hands" he said. Smiling, Bella did as she was told, curious as to what he had found. Carlisle placed an item in her hand before speaking again "open your eyes, Bella." When she did so, she found a conch shell. "Oh my gosh, Carlisle. This is beautiful." Bella said, admiring the colorful shell in her hands. "I'm glad you like it, it's one of the many perks of being able to swim to the ocean floor and see clearly in the dark." he winked at her.
They spent another hour or so floating around and enjoying one another's company before the breeze picked up a little and Bella shivered. "Are you ready to head back to the boat?" Carlisle asked her. Bella nodded. She was starting to feel a little chilly. Carlisle crouched down in front of her "your chariot awaits, my lady" he teased. Bella laughed and climbed back on his back and they headed back towards the Eclipse. When they arrived, Carlisle lowered the ladder for them to climb back onto the boat. Once they were back on deck, he hurried to grab Bella's towel, wrapping it around her to help warm her up. "Thanks, Carlisle" Bella smiled at him as she dried off.
"Bella, I'm going to go take a shower below deck and give you some privacy to give Edward a call." Carlisle said, grabbing his cell phone from a nearby cupholder and handing it to her. "Take all of the time you need. I am not in any hurry, and I want you to feel certain that this is still what you and Edward want before moving forward. Whenever you're done on the phone, we can meet back at the dining table below deck to discuss the plan for the rest of the day. Does that sound alright to you?" he inquired.
"Yes, that sounds good. Thank you, Carlisle. I really appreciate it." Bella said, giving him a shy smile. "Of course, sweetheart. I will see you soon." Carlisle saidas he headed below deck to shower. Once Carlisle was out of sight, Bella moved to sit on the sunpad at the bow of the ship, overlooking the water. Crossing her legs, she held the cell phone in her lap, staring at it. She didn't know how to start the conversation. What exactly do you say to your fiance on the phone when you're second guessing your decision to lose your virginity to your future father in law? Groaning quietly, Bella took a shaky breath and dialed Edward's number.
"Carlisle, is everything alright?" Edward answered on the first ring. "Actually, it's me." Bella said into the phone. "Bella, Love, are you okay? Where's Carlisle?" Edward asked her. "Yes, Edward, I'm fine. Carlisle just went to take a shower and give me some privacy. He suggested that maybe I should call and talk to you, to make sure that this is still what we want to do, and to settle my nerves." she said quietly. "Bella, Love, there is no pressure. If you changed your mind, that is completely okay. You don't have to do this if you're not comfortable with it."
"No, Edward, it isn't that. I was just having some feelings about all of this, and I guess I was starting to worry. I just think we need to talk about it. I mean what if this changes things between us? What if you don't feel the same way about me once I'm with Carlisle? What if it causes problems with his marriage to Esme? I can't hurt her like that." Bella said anxiously. "Bella, please listen to me. Nothing could ever make me love you any less. You are my reason for existing. I promise you, nothing will change between us. And Esme was a part of this plan too. She is okay with it and understands. Carlisle is devoted to her and they have a strong marriage. Everything will be alright, Love."
"I know, Edward, and Carlisle has been treating me so well. He's been so extremely patient and understanding. It's just so... intense. I didn't expect it to be like this." Bella said nervously. "Bella, please be honest and tell me what you're thinking. Have you changed your mind about being with Carlisle?" Edward asked her, with concern in his voice. "No, I don't think so. I guess I just needed to know that we are good and that this isn't changing anything between us." Bella said.
"Alright, Love. You know that I love you. I promise you nothing is ever going to change that. We will have the wedding and honeymoon of our dreams when you get home. Please just try to relax and enjoy your time with Carlisle. I trust him with my life and I trust him with yours. I promise everything will be okay, but Bella, if you change your mind, please be honest with us, we will all understand." Edward said with empathy. "Okay, thank you, Edward. I love you too. I will see you when we get home." Bella said before they ended the call.
Taking a steadying breath, Bella stared out at the ocean for a few more minutes. She was going to do this. She was determined to stick to the plan. Giving herself a mental pep talk, so pushed herself into a standing position and headed to meet Carlisle in the dining area below deck. "Hi, Bella." Carlisle spoke kindly to her as she arrived below deck. "Hi, Carlisle. Thanks for letting me use your phone." Bella said, handing it back to him. "Of course, sweetheart. Are you feeling better?" He asked her, his gaze meeting hers. "Yes, I am. It helped to talk to Edward." Bella said. "That's good to hear." he stated. "Have there been any changes to the plan that I should be aware of?" Carlisle asked her.
"No, Carlisle. I still want to do this. I know that everything will be fine. I appreciate your patience." "You're certain, Bella?" Carlisle asked her again, intently meeting her gaze. "Yes, I've made my decision." Carlisle pulled her into another hug, tucking her wet hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss her gently on the forehead. "Alright sweetheart, why don't we take a seat and discuss the plan for the rest of our day then?" "Okay, sure, that sounds good." Bella said before following him to the dining table and taking a seat across from him.
After they were both seated, Carlisle spoke again. "The shower is off of the state room. I imagine you'd like to get cleaned up and warm up after our swim. I have stocked it with everything you may need. There are towels in the cabinet next to the sink. Bella nodded "yes, that sounds great, thanks." "Of course sweetheart. I've taken the liberty to lay some clothes out for you in the bathroom. I hope that's alright. I didn't think you'd wish to put your swimsuit back on." Carlisle said offering her a kind smile.
"Thanks. I appreciate that." Bella said. "I can tell you're feeling cold, so we can wait until after you get cleaned up to discuss the plan for dinner and the rest of the evening." Carlisle mentioned. She started to move to stand and head towards the bathroom to take a shower, but Carlisle stopped her, placing his hand over hers and giving her a cautious glance. The look in his eyes gave Bella a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. "What is it, Carlisle?" she asked him anxiously.
"Bella, I would like to examine you before we engage in any other sexual activity. It's necessary in order for us to continue with the plan for the remainder of our trip." He spoke reassuringly to her. "Are there any questions that I can help answer for you about the examination process?" Carlisle asked her. Bella blushed before looking at him and spoke quietly "I'm not really sure. I guess I don't know a lot about it. It's always given me anxiety to think about, so I haven't done much research. I don't like invasive procedures," Bella said. "That's why I hate needles so much." "Would it help if I talked you through what I will be doing during the exam?" Bella nodded, "yes, I think that would be helpful " she said.
Carlisle took Bella by the hand and they headed to the state room. Releasing her hand, he walked over to the nightstand drawer where he had placed his examination instruments and opened it. He laid everything out on the top of the nightstand, closing the drawer so Bella would not see the other items he had placed there. He then extended his hand towards her to invite her to come closer.
"Bella, this is everything that I will need for your pelvic exam. Please don't let anything intimidate you. I will be wearing gloves, and use a lubricant on my fingers and on the speculum so that it doesn't cause pain when I insert it." Carlisle showed her how the speculum clicks open and explained how it allows him to check her cervix. Then, he explained the process of a bimanual examination and how he will insert two fingers into her vaginal canal and gently push on the outside of her lower abdomen to feel her female organs.
Carlisle could see the fear in Bella's eyes and hated that she was feeling so anxious. He knew that they needed to get the exam out of the way to be able to continue with the rest of their plans for the weekend. "Bella, sweetheart, perhaps it would be best for us to go ahead and get your exam completed after your shower. I can sense your anxiety and I'm guessing perhaps you'd like to get it out of the way?" He asked her with an understanding smile.
"Umm, sure I guess so." Bella said, starting to tremble. "Bella, it's alright, I am here with you and I will talk you through this. Try to relax and trust me." Carlisle murmured, pulling her into a hug. "Why don't you go ahead and take a shower and get cleaned up from our swim and I will prepare everything. Here is a shirt you can wear after your shower. You can leave the other clothes in the bathroom until after your exam" he said, handing her an oversized t-shirt. "Please leave your underwear off. Whenever you feel ready, you can meet me back here, alright?" He kissed the top of her head before she nodded shyly and walked towards the bathroom to clean up.
Carlisle busied himself sanitizing everything that he would need to examine Bella. Once everything was clean and prepared, he laid a clean sheet on top of the bed and took a seat on a stool from the nearby desk area to wait for Bella to finish in the shower.
Trembling from her nerves and feeling like she might be sick, Bella took a quick shower, all the while trying to steady her breathing. After drying off and combing through her hair, she put on the long t-shirt that Carlisle had given her to wear. While it covered her nearly to her knees, she still felt nervous knowing that she did not have any underwear on underneath it and Carlisle would soon see the most private part of her body. Bella took one more steading breath and headed back to the state room.
"Come on in, Bella." Carlisle spoke softly to her when she entered the room. Her heart was racing and she looked more pale than he liked. "Just relax and trust me." He walked over to her and pulled her into another hug. He held her as her breathing and heart rate slowed enough for him to be satisfied. "Bella, please climb up on the bed and lay down on your back. Here is a sheet that you can use to cover your legs if you're more comfortable with that." He said kindly.
Bella shakily took the sheet from him and made her way over to the bed, crawling to the center. She laid down on her back with her legs flat and tightly together in front of her. "Alright now, sweetheart, I need you to bend your legs. Let them fall open naturally and scoot down until you feel your bottom touch my hand." Bella felt her cheeks flush and she was wishing she could crawl in a hole and hide. Focusing intently on the ceiling above her, Bella did as Carlisle asked and slowly let her legs separate as she scooted down towards the end of the bed.
"That's it, Bella. Now, let your legs fall open with your knees bent." She did as he asked, her eyes now closing as she tried to focus on slowing her breathing. "Good girl. You're doing great." He said reassuringly as she got into the position he had asked of her.
"Alright, I am going to begin the examination now, Bella. If anything hurts you or you need me to stop, please tell me right away." She nodded and whispered "ok, Carlisle." "You are going to feel the back of my gloved hand touch the inside of your thigh, do not be alarmed." he said. Soon she felt Carlisle gently touch the inside of her thigh before speaking again. "Very good, Bella. Now you are going to feel my fingers examine your external genetalia for any abnormalities." He softly felt her labia and pulled back the hood over her clitoris to examine it. Bella jumped and a moan escaped at the feel of his touch so close to her most sensitive spot.
"Shh, it's alright, Bella, you're doing great." Carlisle spoke again, feeling his dick start to harden at her reaction. "Everything looks normal and healthy externally. You are going to feel two of my fingers enter you now. I have lubricated them and this should not cause you pain. I will be careful of your hymen and take it slowly" he said. "Focus on your breathing for me." Bella took a breath and let it out slowly as she felt Carlisle's fingers prod at her entrance. Instictively, Bella pulled her legs together. "Bella, it's alright, sweetheart, let your legs fall open again." She took a shaky breath as she slowly let them fall to the sides. "There you go, that's it" he said calmly.
Being careful of her hymen, Carlisle slowly inserted his two gloved fingers into her vaginal canal. Bella whimpered at the intrusive feeling and, feeling herself starting to panic, tried to scoot back up the bed and away from his hand. Carlisle took his other hand and placed it over her lower abdomen, holding her in place and preventing her from pulling away. "Bella, sweetheart, listen to me. You're doing so well. Take some deep breaths and try to relax your bottom. Give your body time to adjust to the feeling of my fingers." he said soothingly.
Focusing hard on her breathing, Bella closed her eyes and tried to relax. Carlisle felt the tightness around his fingers loosen. "There you go, Bella. Good job." he said. "You're going to feel me press on the outside of your lower abdomen. This is so I can feel your reproductive organs for any abnormalities or signs of concern." Bella nodded her understanding. Moving his hands to examine her ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus, Carlisle gently pressed his hand down on her lower abdomen as he felt them with his fingers. He was pleased that everything felt as it should be and he slowly removed his hand from between her legs.
"Bella, we are almost done. Hang in there for me. You're doing great. The only thing left is the speculum exam. This will allow me to get a clear view of your cervix and vaginal walls to check for anything concerning." Bella held her breath, tensing up again. She hated the idea of a metal instrument going inside of her body and was terrified it that it was going to hurt. Hearing her heart rate increase, Carlisle spoke again "Bella, please look at me." She opened her eyes, the fear in them obvious as she met his gaze. "I'm not going to hurt you. You will feel pressure, but this should not be painful." Bella nodded, taking a shaky breath and closed her eyes.
Carlisle quickly moved to warm the metal speculum under hot water in the sink. Once it was warm and he had lubricated it, he spoke again. "Bella, you're going to feel the speculum at the entrance of your vagina. I will insert it slowly and allow you time to adjust before I open it, alright?" he asked her softly. She nodded her consent and understanding. Carlisle separated her labia with his fingers and began inserting the speculum. Once he had inserted it completly he spoke again. "Bella, how are you doing?" "I'm... ok..." she said shakily. "I'm going to open the speculum now. You will feel pressure. Are you ready?" he asked her soothingly. "Yes." she said quietly.
When Carlisle opened the speculum Bella's leg muscles tensed and her breath caught in her throat. "Shh, it's alright. It's all the way open now, sweetheart. I promise that the pressure you're feeling will not get any worse. I'm going to do my visual examination and then we will be done." Focusing on the fact that the examination was nearly over, Bella continued taking deep breaths as Carlisle completed the speculum exam. Pleased that all looked as it should be, Carlisle closed the speculum and removed it.
"You can sit up now, Bella. We're all done." Carlisle spoke kindly to her, placing one hand on her knee and offering her his other hand to help her into a sitting position. "Everything looks normal and as it should be, sweetheart. You did a great job. I know you were anxious, and I'm proud of you for doing so well." he praised her. "Thanks, Carlisle, for talking me through it." Bella said shyly. "I really appreciate you being so patient and understanding." "Of course, sweetheart."
Bella was relieved to have the exam out of the way. She hadn't realized how much the anxiety about that part of the weekend was wearing on her. "Would you like to go get dressed now, sweetheart? Then, we can discuss more about the rest of the evening?" he inquired. "Yes, please. Thanks, Carlisle. Where should I meet you when I'm done?" She asked him. "Let's meet in the kitchen. I will head there now and start preparing things for dinner" he said, smiling at her. Bella nodded and headed towards the bathroom to get dressed and Carlisle made his way towards the kitchen.
