Bella sat back down at her desk and watched as the brunette slowly read the note. She waited for some sort of confirmation that Hermione would indeed stay after to speak with her. She wasn't even sure what she was doing or say. Bella had promised McGonagall that she would make an effort to help Hermione bring her parents' memories back. Honestly, Bella wasn't sure how she would go about fixing the burns on the bridge that she had made with this girl. She branded her for fuck's sake.
Yes, the pure blood stature still floated around in her head. Her soul healer helped her with coming to terms with blood purity and how archaic the idea had been. If it had not been for the muggle-borns, the pure blood would no longer be in existence. During her two years working at the castle, she had met plenty of half-bloods and muggle-borns who were intelligent and worthy of her respect. These were all new feelings for the dark witch and she had many internal struggles.
Bellatrix stared at Hermione and really got a chance to look at her. She was young and very pretty but looking past that, Bella saw grief and exhaustion. Hermione was smiling at Ginny as they were quietly whispering about their work and it seemed to Bella that the younger girl was hiding hurt and conflict.
Bellatrix cast her eyes towards the arm that she branded. She couldn't see the scar because of the clothing covering it but she had no doubt that the wound was still there. She couldn't just simply apologize to the girl. For one, Bellatrix Black didn't apologize and also, she wasn't even sure Hermione would accept a feeble apology after all this time. No, she knew that she had to prove herself with actions instead of words. All she needed was to get Hermione to trust her and maybe Bellatrix would be able to extend her friend pool by one.
"Class dismissed. Don't forget the 10 inches of parchment by next class." Bellatrix called out to the class as they all started to exit the room. She noticed Hermione remained at her table, packing up her supplies slowly not making eye contact with her.
Bellatrix made her way over to Hermione. "Thank you for staying behind." Bellatrix almost whispered as the last student left the dungeon classroom.
"Well, you said you needed to talk to me." Hermione said looking up but not quite reaching her eyes.
Bella knew that this was going to be harder than she originally thought. "She's terrified of me." Bellatrix thought in disgust of herself.
"Hermione…" Bellatrix started but was quickly interrupted by the younger witch.
"No." Hermione said louder than expected. "You don't get to call me that like we are friends."
"Okay. Ms. Granger?" Bellatrix attempted to continue her thought and sighed.
Hermione nodded in approval.
"Ms. Granger. Minerva has told me that you had performed a memory eraser on your parents prior to the war to keep them safe. I'd like to offer my services in order to help bring their memories back." Bellatrix finished staring at the girl.
Hermione just looked at her with a face of revulsion and a bit of confusion. "You are aware that my parents are muggles right? That isn't your usual area of expertise."
"Ms. Granger…"
"No! You may have people around here fooled, Professor," Hermione spat out her title and continued, "but I haven't forgotten who you are and what you've done." She rolled up her sleeve showing the Mudblood scar to the older witch. "People just don't dramatically change Professor. I don't know how you've managed to convince everyone around here that you are no longer a monster but I will not fall into your guise so easily. I am not one to be manipulated for your own personal gain." Hermione said as she picked up her supplies and started making her way to the classroom door.
Bellatrix muttered a spell and the classroom door closed before Hermione could reach it.
"Ms. Granger please. There is no ulterior motive here. I truly just want to help you and your family. I understand why you might not believe me," she said as she reach out to touch the scarred arm but Hermione pulled her arm away too quickly, "but I have changed or at least I'm actively working towards change."
Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head. "It's impossible that the woman who gave me this" she held out her arm "is standing here trying to reason with me, a mudblood."
Bellatrix cringed at the slur thrown back at her. "I know Minerva has showed you some of her memories. I'm not sure all of what you have seen but there's more to the tale than what you know so far. All I'm asking is for a chance to share more with you and help you get your parents back so that sad look in your eyes might disappear."
"That almost sounded human," was Hermione's only reply.
"Ms. Granger this obviously isn't going anywhere right now. I don't know how to gain your trust other than either by force which I don't do anymore or by showing you. How about you go and talk to your friend Mr. Longbottom. Just listen to what he has to say about me and his parents. After that, if you wish to speak with me further, I'll be in the library tonight after curfew. Come find me and I will start to tell my tale and if you don't show up. I'll know that this is a lost cause."
With that, Bellatrix opened the door to the classroom and left before Hermione had a chance to say anything else.
—-
Hermione left the classroom and made her way back to her living quarters. Her quarters were in the dungeons so it wasn't a particularly long walk. She didn't know what to feel or what to think. She plopped down on her bed and just stared at the ceiling. Crookshanks settled down on the bed next to her in a sign of companionship.
"Oh Crookshanks. What am I supposed to do? I can barely stand to be in the same room as that woman. How am I supposed to trust her? Nobody changes that drastically over two years time. Why does she want to help me? How do people around here just act like nothing ever happened? Like she didn't torture innocent people? Her job was literally to torture people." Hermione let out a sighed and breathed a little before she continued to vent to her cat.
"And now, she of all people wants to help me bring back my muggle parents' memories. It's not even possible. I've been working on it for two years and I have no leads. What could she possibly know that I don't?"
Crookshanks meowed and rubbed his head into her side.
"Oh I suppose you are right. Maybe I need to go find Neville. Thanks for listening Crookshanks."
—-
Hermione changed into a pair of light wash skinny jeans, a simple black t-shirt and an oversized white cardigan. She put her hair up into a messy bun and knocked on the door of Neville's living quarters.
"Hey Hermione. Are you okay? Come in, please." Neville said stepping aside to let Hermione through. "Please sit, would you like some tea?"
"Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you." Hermione said taking a seat on his couch.
"By the look on your face, I am to assume that you've had an encounter with Professor Black."
Hermione just nodded.
"Yes. I had that same look on my face for a month after she first approached me. Luna thought I had gone mental."
"How do you not hate her? She tortured your parents." Hermione simply asked taking a sip from her tea that Neville sat on the table in front of her as she tucked her legs under herself on the couch.
"To this day Hermione, I don't know if I will ever have an answer to that question. Bellatrix came to me and said she needed to speak with me. Honestly I wasn't going to hear her out. I mean what could she say to me that I'd even want to hear? What kind of excuse could she come up with for what she did to my parents?"
Hermione nodded to let Neville know that she was listening to his story.
"She gave me a memory of hers to view. McGonagall let me use her pensieve. It was the memory of what happened that night to my parents. Bellatrix didn't enter the room until my parents were already begging for Rudolphus and his brother to stop. They looked like they had been Cruicoed for hours. They were still coherent. Bellatrix yelled at them to stop because she knew they didn't have information on the Potters or the Dark Lord. I watched as Bellatrix shot hexes at her husband and brother-in-law yelling at them for being idiots. I watched as Bellatrix walked over and picked me up as an infant and apologized to me as she placed a memory charm on my parents to send them into a state of insanity. I watched as she cried to me and promised one day she would make it right. I watched as I was taken from her and as the aurora took her out of the room." Neville had shed a tear by this point and Hermione reach out to touch his shoulder.
"I couldn't see her right away. It was a lot to process and I wasn't even sure of what I was seeing. But I knew deep down that she would be able to at least bring me some closure with my parents. I didn't know going to see her that she would take me to St. Mungo's and clear the fog my parents had been living in for the past 20 years. I don't know that she would be able to bring my parents back to me." Neville looked at Hermione and continue, "I didn't know that my parents would be understanding toward her and accept her apology. I sat there as Bellatrix broke down and cried in front of my parents apologizing for robbing them of seeing their son grow up. I sat there as my mother told Bellatrix that it was okay because she gave them the gift of a second chance."
"Neville. I had no idea."
"This was almost a year and a half ago. Now my parents are back in the aurora office with Harry and Ron and they love Luna. We were going over to weekly dinners prior to coming back to school. My parents even spent some time here helping with the rebuild of the castle. I can't say I will never be able to fully forgive her Hermione but if it wasn't for her… my life wouldn't be complete." Neville finally looked at Hermione and smiled.
Hermione leaned over and gave Neville a comforting hug. "So you think I hear should hear her out?"
"No, I can't tell you what to do Hermione. I just think you owe it to your parents to see if what she is telling you is true. Wouldn't it be nice to have your parents home by Christmas?"
Hermione looked at him and smile. "yes, It would Neville." Hermione placed her head on Neville's shoulder and they just stared into the fire as they finished their cups of tea. Hermione found herself more confused now than she had been prior to her going to Neville's room. She knew that she would always wonder just what Bellatrix could do for her parents if she never pursued the older witch.
With that Hermione made up her mind and spoke aloud to Neville, "tonight I'm going to meet Professor Black and listen to what she has to say. I don't owe her anything but I do owe this to my parents."
—-
Bella sat in the restricted section of the library. It had since closed but Madam Pince often let her have the run of the library after hours and trusted her to lock up when she finished exploring the restricted section. She honestly didn't expect the younger witch to show up. It was well past curfew and she was getting ready to return the books she had been reading when she heard footsteps approaching her. She looked up and saw Hermione approaching with caution. Hermione had an unreadable expression on her face. Bella thought of using legilimency to see what Hermione was thinking but thought best not to seeing as how she was trying to gain this woman's trust.
"Hi." Bellatrix said awkwardly as the younger witch took a seat across from her.
"Professor," Hermione said looking into the dark witch's eyes for the first time. Hermione noted that her eyes were so dark they almost appeared to be black in color. Bellatrix simply stared back never breaking her concentration. "I wasn't sure if I was even coming here tonight."
"I can only assume you spoke to Mr. Longbottom." Bellatrix stated unwavering from her stare.
"Honestly I expected you to use legilimency on me when I came in so I had my pathetic barriers up."
Bellatrix sighed. "The thought crossed my mind but I don't wish to intrude into your personal space more than I already have." She said while pointing at her arm. There was an awkward silence that fell between the women and Bella didn't really know what to do. She never really put herself into this type of situation before except for with her soul healer.
"I thought there'd be more yelling." Bellatrix said with a slight chuckle as she ran her hand nervously through her black curls. "So… would you like to start or shall I?"
"Neville told me about the memory you gave him. I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept that you might be a human being with actual feelings of remorse or sympathy."
"Yeah… it came as a shock to me as well." She noticed Hermione narrowing her eyes. "Okay not the time for joking. Noted. Please continue."
"I'm not here for you or to make you feel better for the shit you did to me. I'm here because I owe my parents that much. I don't know what you can do for them but they deserve for me to try."
When Bellatrix was sure Hermione had finished her thought, she looked away from the girl and took a few moments to think. Memories were flooding back to Bellatrix and to be honest, she wasn't comfortable in her current predicament.
"Ms. Granger, I wasn't there at the final moments of the battle. After Mr. Potter appeared to be alive, my sister grabbed me and took me away with her family. We knew that it was over. That Voldemort," Bellatrix uncomfortably said his name, "had lost. Cissy, Draco's mom, had lied to him. Telling him that Potter was dead. She knew she had to get her family far away before the others realized she betrayed the cause. She grabbed me because she didn't think I was a lost hope just yet. It may be hard to believe but she saved my life that day. I went on to help the ministry as I'm sure you are aware. There have been many moments of weakness and an unwillingness to change. After so many years, it's hard to push it all away but I'm trying to for my family."
"You mean Draco?"
"Well yes, but also for Andi and her grandson." Bella confessed. "I have yet to make amends with Andi but I am hopeful one day soon she will hear me out."
Bellatrix stopped talking to look at Hermione. She noticed the girl worrying her bottom lip. Bella schooled her facial features to remain neutral.
"Look Ms. Granger." Bellatrix pressed. "I have all these memories saved in vials in my living room. They are shelved according to date. I will give you access to view whatever you want. To be honest though, some may be harder for you to view than others. They aren't all pleasant and happy. Abusive childhood, ex death eater, arranged marriage, Azkaban, the first and second war and what came after. It's all there. I won't stop you. I have them outside of my mind so that I don't slip back into insanity. It's not pretty in here," Bella pointed to her head,"when all of that stuff is floating around up there. It's better for everybody if the memories live on a shelf in my room."
"Hermione. You can call me Hermione. Whether we like it or not, we might be spending together soon."
Bellatrix smiled at the small victory she felt she just won. "Would you like to view them now or…." She trailed off giving Hermione a chance to speak.
"No. I don't think that'll be necessary right now. I actually believe you. I believe you are telling me the truth and I feel that if I want to see them in the future you would let me. I don't know if I will ever want to see your memories."
Bellatrix's smile left as quickly as it came.
"But right now, I'd like to talk about the magic you used to bring back Neville's parents' memories and how that might help my family. I want to take you up on your offer to help. Like I said, I owe this to my parents." Hermione softened her face when looking back to Bellatrix.
"Very well. That's a start that I'm willing to work with. Memory magic is quite simple if you are the one who cast it. I knew Neville's parents. I had gone to school with them. We weren't friends and I was older than them but I knew then through studying them for the cause." Hermione was going to interject but Bellatrix waved her hand in dismissal to let her continue. "To return the memories and reverse the curse, you have to know exactly what you took from them. It was easy to reverse the curse because I knew what memories I took. Before going to Azkaban, I was able to give Cissy a vial with the memory in it so I would be able to undo the curse had I ever been given the chance. They didn't deserve to die by my idiot ex-husband. I figured a life at St. Mungo's with a possibility of return was better than no life at all. Of course, when I saw Neville at the Department of Mysterious, I knew exactly who he was. I saw the look of pain and disdain in his eyes when he looked at me. He hadn't known the truth. Nobody had. I took that with me to foolishly serve time in Azkaban for a crime I didn't commit."
"Neville said they are happy now and that they forgave you." Hermione said softly.
"Yes. They did. That doesn't take away from the fact that they were tortured at all. I was foolish. More than foolish. I was blinded by devotion to a cause that in the end didn't matter one fucking bit." Bellatrix bit the words as it came out of her mouth. She looked at the younger witch and saw that her eyes had softened. She wasn't sure what she was seeing in Hermione's eyes but it also looked like sorrow or compassion. Surely Bellatrix's mind was playing tricks on her. This amount of emotional outpouring is something she reserves for her soul healer when she knows she won't have to interact with other's for a day or two after.
"Professor Black…"
"When we aren't in class, please call me Bellatrix or Bella. It'll make me more comfortable though I know my comfort isn't your main concern."
"Bellatrix, how do you suppose we would go about returning the memories to my parents?"
"Hmm. Well I admit, that'll be a little harder than returning the Longbottoms' memories. I don't know your parents and I'm not sure exactly what memories you took from them. Only you know that. I suppose this could work one of two ways. The first way would be by you telling me everything about your family and what you took. Then I would have to find them and study them for awhile so I could attempt to see into their minds to find any residual memories."
Hermione had a look of concern on her face. "And the other way?"
"I could you teach you how to return the memories to them yourself. It would take longer that way because it's a fair bit of advanced magic you would have to learn. I could help you restore the memories you took from them. I don't expect an answer from you tonight. It's a hard choice to make. I won't hurt your parents Hermione, if you wish for me to do this myself."
"I believe you. I'm not sure if it's something I'd be strong enough to do myself. Aside from casting a few Obliviates, I've never ventured into the realm of memory magic."
"I've heard you are the smart witch of your time. Are you not?" Bellatrix raised an eyebrow as if to challenge the younger witch.
"And I've heard the same of you." Hermione said not backing down.
"This was a lot to take in all at once. If you want to leave to think things over that fine, Hermione. We can meet up again once you've made up your mind." Bellatrix said starting to get up from her seat.
"No," Hermione spoke softly. "I want your help. I'm not sure who I want to perform the magic but I know I want your help with this."
Bellatrix sat back down and slowly nodded her head as a sign of acceptance.
"Where do we even start?" Hermione asked.
"Well I supposed we start at the beginning." Bellatrix said matter of factly. "Now tell me everything I need to know about your upbringing. Let's start at the beginning shall we."
Bellatrix sat back and relaxed in her chair for the first time that evening as Hermione began her tale.
