Sorry this update took long. Currently don't have access to a computer or keyboard, so I'm having to work on my phone for the foreseeable future.

Someone favourited and followed this, they're the unsung hero of my life.

Enjoy


Lemme tell you, I'm usually not a morning person.

But ever since I started wearing the SunBoost badge constantly, I can't not get up at an unforgivably early time anymore. The things I do…

I stand up and stretch, taking satisfaction in the popping of vertebrae in my back. I match this action with a yawn, deciding to go to the kitchen and eat something.

I walk to the ladder and climb up with it, not trusting myself to not fall if I jump up. I walk past the big monitor, my morning mind not actually comprehending anything in it, and I step into the kitchen.

I do a double take, because normally there's not a Cat in the kitchen. Apparently today is different.

Hey isn't that the Cat we saw back at the feast thing?

"Uhhh… why are you on ou- Hat Kids spaceship?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

They turn around from their spot in front of the oven to look at me.

"Oh! You must be the little girl's friend! I am Cooking Cat, the greatest chef on the planet!"

I blink slowly, and just shrug.

"Okay, sure. Don't blow anything up please, or make the kid annoyed. I don't want to be hit with an umbrella as a punching bag."

I step around them, and quickly find the bread, throwing one piece into what must be a toaster turned all the way up.

I turn the heat on it down to ensure my toast isn't at all burnt, before I decide to go wake up Hat Kid. Can't let them sleep through their movie date.

And you're not going to go to yours immediately?

Hey, I never specified a time. I could show up at 23:59 and technically be perfectly on time.

I hear Texty snicker at that, as I hop over the banister down to the purple door, prying it open with some effort.

"Guess we haven't restored power to this area, so the doors are kinda stuck still…"

After prying open a second door, jamming it open with my rolling pin for a bit.

The first thing I notice is the absolutely massive pile of pillows. Seriously, where did they come from? Why do I have a hammock when this exists? What is this!

I decided to take my anger out in the most reasonable way. I reach up to my head, intending to plop m-

Oh wait. I didn't wake up with my cap. How have I only now noticed! Oh my various beings which have superior abilities to my own, how didn't I notice?

I take a moment to properly breath and calm down. I inhale…hold….exhale.

Nope not helping.

Calm down Desmond.

I'M NOT CALMING DOWN! IT'S LIKE IF YOU SUDDENLY COULDN'T SPEAK TO ME EVER!

You may be wondering why I'm acting so much over it, it's just a cap correct? No. It's much more than that. But that's my business, and I'm not gonna get into it until my soul itself is taken by some spaghetti demon or something.

As if that would ever happen.

Moving onwards, I walk over to the kid, and shake them a bit

"Hat Kid, wake up, we have movies to film."

They murmur something about going away, and I smile indulgently. I listen to their sleepy self, and walk out the room, taking my Rolling Pin with me.

I take my time going back to the Machine Room, taking a deep breath before I look down the telescope, searching for a train like the Director asked

After some scanning of the desert I catch a glimpse of it, and focus down onto it. Seconds later I'm falling down at the perfect position to land on it.

I use my Parachute in the Rolling Pin, and land with a tiny amount of flair to it. That being, not falling flat on my face after falling from orbit.

The director, who from this point I might as well call the Conductor considering the setting, quickly notices me.

"Laddie! Yur here! The script for tha movie isn't finished yet, I'll let you know when it is."

I give a nod, walking past him into the train carriage. Possibly as expected, it's full of different birds. Namely Owls and a surprising amount of Crows.

All the crows ask me really weird questions. Such as what my Aunts name is, what my Pets Pets name would be, and what my, and yes this is quote, "Least favourite body part is"

I feel personally attacked that you called your least favourite body part your brain.

I'm an idiot and not proud of it

Yes but I live up there. I think.

I snort as I continue walking through the train, now avoiding crows the best I can. Seriously, it's like there's something wrong with them and they need to know everything that they can.

I keep walking towards what must be the front of the train. Why am I going there you might be wondering? I wish I could tell you.

You're still an impulsive idiot who hasn't matured at all…

At least I have you to keep me grounded right?

…Yeah, okay. I totally keep you grounded while being a voice in your head, that's perfectly normal and not a possible sign of egotism.

Wow that was so dry I'm pretty sure I could taste the sarcasm.

I walk headfirst into a door because I'm too engrossed into my little conversation with Texty. Stupid…

Having actually opened the door this time, I walk forwards once more, through more of these messy rooms until I'm at the front of the train. The controls don't even seem to be actual controls…

There is however, a present box? Hey, I don't say no to free stuff!

Cheapskate

Yes.

I smile as I pull the top off the box, the ribbon having not actually been tied to hold it down.

I pull out an adorable detective outfit and cap to match it. I immediately take the cap and place it on my head carefully, as it is the most important thing I've found since I got here.

Are you talking about the planet or train

Yes.

You can't answer every question with yes.

Yes. Yes I can,

I'd give a long suffering sigh if I had lungs

I take the long coat from the detective outfit and pull it around me, pushing my arms through the sleeves, and taking a quick glance at my reflection in a window.

Hey, I don't actually look half bad! It doesn't clash with my tracksuit trousers, and you can't see my shirt through it, otherwise it would look horrible. It is a tad hot though…

I roll my shoulders to get a feel for the strength of the fabric, and start walking back towards the back of the train, maybe the conductor has finished his script by now…

Desmond that is a phone ringing with music.

Texty makes a very obvious point, as a phone booth phone is ringing with a… I guess an intriguing tune?

I walk over to it and take it off it's stand, putting the receiver to my ear silently. A voice comes through.

"Is this the boring looking kid? I hope you liked my present… he he he."

Ha! He called you boring

Aren't you part of my mind, so isn't he also calling you boring?

…No?

"Go to the back of the train… your uncle's sister Nobody has come to visit"

…Yeah okay, I don't think nobody can visit, I don't have any aunts.

I mean, you would've. And then y-

And that is the end of that story.

…I'm sorry.

I grimace. Not only is there a good chance I won't be able to go back home, there isn't really too much for me to go back to. If I were to describe it in a single Shakespeare Play, it'd be Romeo and Juliet, where my parents are the main characters.

I stop my musings as I begin to run to the back of the train, taking a bit of a faster route now that I know the train's layout properly.

I stop outside the door that leads to the very first room, opening it carefully.

That's a knife.

In a bird.

With a cardboard cutout over it.

Texty this is the film isn't it

I believe so…

"A m-m-m-MURDER! ON MY OWL EXPRESS!"

Since when was the conductor here?

I shrug, as other Owls and those Crows file into the room, looking at the corpse in what's either shock or disgust.

The crows begin to speak up, "Leave this to us, as we are CAW agents, Crow Agent Watches. We'll have this case solved in one Bird Hour. You must all stay here to not interfere with our investigation."

They just said they were Crow Agent Watch Agents.

They're very intelligent

I smile sardonically to myself. I've got the outfit, the cap, the mystery, everything I need in order to solve this mystery in proper defective detective fashion. I glance over to the Conductor, giving him a little wink before slipping through the door behind the crows as they're still posturing to the owls.

"Now… if I was a stupid crow who are ineffective at their jobs, how would I store all the information I've discovered on possible suspects of a murder?"

Yeah, I was kinda brown nosing. But, I figure that any files they've collected would be in the most inconvenient locations possible, just because that makes the story much more interesting, correct?

I roll my shoulders and take a quick hop up onto a platform as all the crows rush out of the room, either searching for me or evidence. Either or, this crime is one I'm going to solve. Well, me and Texty are going to solve it.

It's time to…. Uh. I don't have a quip

As expected of you

You are the worst.


I spend what must've been actual hours on that train, making sure to inject tons of drama into every action, almost get caught by a crow here, make a daring escape from a crow's watch after grabbing some of their evidence.

What does confuse me, is why they had a file on me with an X-Ray, and how it was seriously inaccurate. Except the part where they listed me as two people, which makes no sense. Seriously, how can they think that I don't have a skull, yet know Texty exists in my head?

I hear a clock chime, meaning it's finally been a full 'Owl Hour', so I rush back to the main room where all the owls and the Conductor are kept, getting back just before all the crows do.

Too close for comfort eh?

Yeah. Would've ruined the whole shoot, right?

"So, crows, did you find who tha murderin' scoundrel is?" The Conductor asks in a very aggressive tone

"We could not find any conclusive evidence on who the murderer must've been, so w-" The crows begins to speak but, hey lets make this a grand finale for the movie.

"So what I'm hearing is that you crows spent that full hour doing nothing? Because well… I know who did it. I've deduced who the criminal here is. And they'll be getting off the train here with me!" I declare while cutting them off.

Everyone turns to me in shock, and I desperately ignore the pressure that they've suddenly mounted on me. I return to my speech, "I have spent the last owl hour gathering every last drop of evidence on this train, and have come to a few conclusions. Firstly, this was not done by a single person. In order for it to have been done as it was, where everyone was conveniently pulled to different parts of the train right before the murder, someone had to act as a distraction…"

I meander my way into the center of the room, and dramatically point towards the crows. "The largest group overwhelmed people with questions, pulling them into meaningless conversations in order to provide a distraction! Secondly, the person who did it must have a greater knowledge of the train's layout, allowing them to figure out where the least people would be, where it would be easiest to clear space… This could only have been done by…"

I turn on my heels, and now point straight at the conductor, as the owls take a dramatic gasp. "The Conductor himself! But that's not all. After all, there is now motive, correct? Unless one would be provided by their fellow owls? Or perhaps the victim himself? No. Our murdered owl was killed in order to stop him from possibly revealing the Conductors misdoings to the greater bird community!"

I bring myself towards the body, winking to the definitely not dead owl, trying to convey that he should stay playing dead until we're done. "So, Conductor, your crime has finally been revealed with the support of the Crow Agent Watch!"

The Conductor laughs a vile laugh, "Why yes, you've accounted for everything! Very well, I shall admit, I stabbed the owl!"

I take a deep breath and take a step back, "You are going to bird prison for a long time, Conductor!" I say with conviction in my voice

That was really well done Desmond

The conductor laughs again, though this one is a lot more natural. "You really know how ta make a movie kid! This'll be great!"

I shrug, smiling slightly. "I like to think of myself as an actor." I say as I walk over to the stabbed owl and pick him up, pulling the rubber knife out from his feathers, as he stretches slightly.

I glance back at the conductor, and open my mouth before he cuts me off. "Here, have this wee little hourglass for a job well done." The Conductor says, throwing it towards me.

I step forward and catch it, nodding to him before I hold it up. "I'll be back soon for the premier, and tomorrow for the next one yeah?" I manage to get out, before I undergo that flinging sensation again and I'm back on the ship.

I sigh in relief

Stress levels, yes

Heh.


And that conclude Murder times. Next up, either some time rifts or Train Rush, along with Desmond forgetting to go watch his own movie/film.

See you all next time!