A/N: Hi there! This is the first time I write for X-file. Mulder and Scully are so complex. I'm sorry if they're OOC. However, their relationship was offscreen, so I like to think they are completely different and softies with one another when they are in the secrecy of their home. I've always thought they were together since after Millennium, but they only let things get serious after "All Things."

**This last part was written first. It got stuck in my mind till I wrote it. Scully had nightmares during the S8. So, why not play with the possibility that she had them before?

** I don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Let me know if you see something.

** I would love to know your thoughts. Reviews are always welcomed to help improve my writing. It might also inspire me to write more.

Enjoy


Reminiscences

- Part II -

There is a saying that true love is not found; it is built. Surely enough, their intricate relationship has been in its build for almost a decade. Their friendship and loyalty are the foundation of all. It will always come first. She feels as if she had been on cloud nine for the first time in her life. Their relationship blossomed into something she had never thought of having in this lifetime. Everything was perfect. It was only fair for them to enjoy what they have now.

Nonetheless, she's been burdened by a growing sense of fear during this past week. In fact, she was feeling too much about everything. Her once so controlled emotions have become crazy. The tiniest things would make her tear up, and she would get riled up about nothing. Besides, her libido was off the charts. Her body was extremely sensitive.

Her sleep is also disturbed, along with some nightmares that leave her heart thudding like a jackhammer. Honestly, if she didn't know any better, she would assume she was preg- "nope. No! It can't be. Don't even go there, Scully."

The moment they became involved, she knew that everything in that relationship differed from everything she ever had. She had her share of relationships. She enjoyed sex just fine. Mulder, however, was an entirely novel experience for her. She didn't realise how randy she was; she had been years without intimacy, for heaven's sake. But a suggestive look from him was enough to send a burning inferno through her body.

Mulder's acute observation skills and eidetic memory came into their own in bed in ways she could've never imagined. He was attentive to every twitch in her body. Every cry of pleasure she uttered. There was never a time when she shuddered from head to toe with a man. No one in this world had her undying trust to make her succumb in ecstasy the way she does with him. The more he dominated her, the more turned on she became. She would be ashamed if she hadn't been so boneless to move.

Not so long ago, her mind was filled with wandering thoughts that were pulling her down. In the beginning, it was a normal what-if scenario. Like a game. The tougher her life got, the more she played it. Her life became beyond tougher. As time passed on, she played more and more. The game becomes an addiction. A refuge where she would retreat every night before falling asleep. She would lie awake in the dark and think about the life she had left behind. What could've been? Could she have made something different? Would she have kids? Would she be married?

One day, out of the blue, Daniel materialised before her eyes.

She was feeling suffocated, then. Their constant chase after the wind, always running while their own lives stagnated. A never-ending game of two steps forward, three steps back. There was no progress. Only pain.

Daniel's presence made her realise she could no longer live her life like that in the past. Her past regrets were a trap. She knew it was pointless and couldn't double-track. Her attention was no longer on the present and she couldn't appreciate what she had. It prevented her from living life to the fullest.

She would sacrifice everything for Mulder. She was his fiercest protector. So many times, her life was in his hands. Nevertheless, she would not risk her heart in the same way. She was petrified by the fear of being left behind. Unconsciously, she tried to shield her heart. So many times he left without a word. Inevitably, one day, his obsessive searching would lead to his death. As a friend, it might have been hard for her, but she knew that once she let herself love him as a soulmate, she would've been destroyed.

She knew if she had left her guards down, she would've been in trouble. As much as possible, she wanted to stay in control of the situation. Ideally, they wouldn't get too entangled. As she pondered her new situation, she felt like a fool. The two of them were already in too deep. She tried so hard, though. Fuck their brains out - but don't sleep together. Avoid everything that is too intimate. But she was all but postponing the inevitable.

It came as a surprise to see Mulder so at peace. Since he learned Samantha's fate, he no longer felt the need for obsessive searching, and he was now free to move forward with his life. It calmed her heart to see him make room for her. To have a bath with her every once in a while.

Once she had met Daniel and had her closure. Any fears she had of being left behind, or being holding him back had dissipated. Mulder's obsessions didn't control him anymore. When he came back from London, they talked. They laid it all out; they were free to let go of the past.

Since then, she has no longer held her heart back. She had to tell him how crazy she was about him. How much she loved him. Mulder also showed his love and devotion to her freely, with his undivided attention and loving gestures. She knew, without a doubt, she was the most important thing in his life.

When they were together, she felt free to be herself. She could let herself be vulnerable. Need him so much she's afraid she wouldn't be able to function without him. The thought that they could lose the happiness they now share was terrifying.

Now that she knows what it's like to be his. Being held in his arms and feeling safe and loved. Having her face kissed by his morning stubble every morning. Their lives were so entangled, and she loved him deeply. Losing him was beyond comprehension. The thought of a life without him was enough to bring her down to her knees.

xxx

"M-Mulder... Wake up... Mulderrrrrr! ... NOOO!"

Scully wakes up, startled in a bed that isn't hers. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest. Her hands clutched the soft blanket enveloping her naked body. There was a slight gloom in the room, and the sunlight was trying to peep its way through the curtains.

While her ragged breathing echoed in the room. A faint noise could be heard from the living room, and an intoxicating smell of coffee could be detected. He seemed to call out to her. Soon, she was out of bed, throwing his shirt from last night over her bare body. Leaving the bedroom, she headed toward him.

"I miss him."

This was ridiculously needy. And not like her at all. But she couldn't help it. She was too emotional to care.

He was sprawled out on the sofa. Wearing nothing but his boxer. He was chewing his bottom lips with an intense expression on his handsome face. His gaze softened as soon as he saw her standing at the bedroom door.

With a dazzling smile, he extended his hand to her. He said in a low voice. "Hey Sleepyhead… come here… Did you sleep well?"

She walked over and climbed on top of him. Her small body was curled up like a kitten in his embrace. The scent of his skin filled her senses as she hid her face in the crook of his neck. Clinging to him like she hadn't seen him in years. "I did, but then I missed you."

"You were sleeping so soundly. I didn't want to disturb you."

As he breathed her in, he kissed her hairline tenderly. His fingers stroked her back softly. He's noticed the changes. Her mood swings, her body was sensitive, and she was quite insatiable. It doesn't bother him because he loves holding her like this. But something was off with her. And not her usual off-Scully, ready to rip his head off. This was different.

Over the past couple of weeks, she has experienced nightmares. She wakes up in the middle of the night clutching him for dear life. In the morning, she would look at him with haunted eyes, just like they are now.

There was a slight shudder in her body. "Scully, what is?… Did you have another one?" He asked. Adjusting her on his lap while reclining in a sitting position, resting his feet on the floor, making her straddle him.

Her gaze was sombre as she stroked his arms and looked at him. "Yeah…"

"What happened this time?"

With quivering lips, her voice was nothing but a shadow of her own. "We were so happy, Mulder. We were in a park. The sky was blue and clear, and the sun was shining. We were walking along the lake, beaming at each other…"

"Are you suggesting something, Scully?" he chuckled. "That sounds awfully like a date!"

She looks at him with a wry smile. Her eyes become distant as her smile vanishes. She licks her lips, taking her time. "I glanced up at the sky. The sun has gone. The bright day becomes dark. A violent gust of wind comes over us. A- A huge spaceship approaches above our heads. My hand became cold, you weren't holding it anymore… An icy shiver runs down my spine... when I look to my side you weren't there anymore… I started frantically shouting your name, trying to find you… but you were nowhere."

"I'm desperately trying to track down all the places you may have been. It seems like months have passed by... then one day, you came back to me. But your body was covered with wounds, rigid. Y- Your eyes were open, staring blankly into mine… there's no life on them, Mulder…. You were looking through me."

Her piercing blue eyes were distant. She wasn't looking at anything in particular. She was back in that damn nightmare. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and her lips trembled. Then he murmurs, brushing the tears away. "It's not just about the dreams, is it?"

With a deep breath, she finally looked at him. "Damn him! Why does he know me so well?" She bites her lips, and with tearful eyes, she smiles at him. Trying to brush him off. "I'm fine Mulder, this is silly… uh… is just a bad dream."

He studies her face. She's wearing his white shirt from last night. Her red hair was dishevelled, with some strands falling into her face. It was a beautiful sight to see her bare face. The freckles and beauty mark on her face, which she usually conceals with makeup, stood out in the bright morning light. Her fair skin contrasted beautifully with her blue eyes. Her beauty took his breath away.

Her soft lips were crimson from the thousand kisses they shared last night. She looked fragile and younger. A myriad of emotions was passing through her eyes. It made him ache for her. His love for her was overwhelming. "I want to shield her from everything."

He brushes a hair strand behind her ear; contouring her jawline with his thumb. He leaned into her, covering her luscious lips with his. Her response was instant as she moaned into his mouth.

He loves kissing her. The way her eyes flatter, half-opened with expected pleasure. How she relaxes her jaw, tracing his lips with the tip of her warm tongue, before gliding her soft lips over his. How she slides her warm hands through his hair, holding his nape, digging her fingernails ever so slightly.

The sensation of her soft body pressing firmly against his, rolling her hips slowly and sensually onto his throbbing length, drove him crazy. It was a low move, but he needed to distract her. He needs to get to the bottom of this. "What is causing these nightmares?"

Breaking their kiss, he muttered. "Speak to me, Scully."

Flustered, she looks into his pleading eyes. "Mulder-r."

She knows that it's not like her to be disturbed by a gut feeling. She knows that there's a scientific explanation for all of this. But she needs to get it out, otherwise, she'll keep being consumed. Her words falter, and she struggles to articulate her thoughts. "Lately… I- I've been feeling uneasy…. Uh… As if something bad is going to happen."

She touches his face. "I'm so afraid of losing you, Mulder I- I…"

While stroking her cheekbones, he tried to comfort her. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart…" - They don't use terms of endearment, but seeing her so small and distressed filled him with affection, and he couldn't resist.

It was the care he conveyed in his voice when he called her sweetheart that caused her heart to skip a beat. They don't use pet names, that's not them. The last time a man called her babe, she wanted to shoot him in the face. But hearing him say it with so much tenderness made her feel even more emotional.

"You don't know that! You can't guarantee you'll be safe. I almost lost you not so long ago. I almost lost you to bugs. To bugs Mulder! Out of all things! I was terrified! The sight of you struggling to breathe while bugs reproduced in your lungs was horrifying. It reminded me that our lives are unpredictable. I can't lose you, Mulder. I love you too damn much."

Her voice was trembling. She was still astounded at how natural it had become for her to talk with him about her innermost feelings. Her vulnerability amazed and terrified her. No one had ever been this close to her, not even her family.

"Look at me, Scully." He holds her face and looks deep into her tearful eyes. "I can't lose you either. You are my everything. I am afraid too, you are the love of my life. My one in five billion. I would be completely devastated without you."

He kisses every inch of her face, forehead, eyes, cheeks, chin. "I know the stakes are higher now, but we can't let this fear control us. We can't control the future, but we are together now. Our love for each other strengthens us. We're a united front. I have to believe nothing will come in our way." He wipes away a tear that escaped her stunning blue eyes.

"Mulder, that's what scares me most." She traces his lips with her thumbs. "You are my everything too… It took us seven years to have this. For us to be here like this. Losing you would destroy me."

"I know, Scully. But I know you. You're the strongest person I've ever met. And I'm sure without me you'll be just as strong."

"Promise me… you'll be careful? Please?" she pleads.

"I Promise. I won't chase ghosts and leave you behind. Isn't worth it, Scully. This has to stop. The price we've paid has already been too high. You're all I have left. I would never risk this. There's no point in investing in an X-file or truth if it means losing you. Nothing is more important than this. I swear."

Hugging him tight against her, she kisses the pulse point under his ear. "Make love to me, Mulder." She kisses her way to his mouth. "I need you inside me," she whispers into his open mouth, grinding herself into him.

He loves when she talks with him in that low, husky tone of hers when she's aroused. Her voice gets so deep and husky. She was a temptress, and he was a lucky motherfucker.

His hands gripped her bare buttocks and thrust his shaft into her warmth. He could feel her wetness through the fabric of his boxers. "Fucking hell, Scully," he growled, crashing his mouth against hers, lavishing her with a passionate kiss. Tracing the curves of her body beneath her shirt.

Her kisses and touches are filled with all the love she feels for him. "Mulder please." She doesn't even know why she's pleading now. Please fuck me? Please never leave me?

Her hands are slowly descending from his chest, abs, and groin. Her lips followed the pattern of her hands. "I need you," she whispers, as she frees his erection from his boxers. While she yanked his boxer down between his thighs, he helped her, jerking his ass off the sofa.

Her hands grip him hard and firmly, rubbing him from his base to the tip, just like she knows he likes. She kisses his chest, nibbles his neck and jawline, and devours his lips while rubbing him slowly. "I want you inside me so bad… I love the feeling of you filling me," she speaks with a husky tone.

He grips her sides, thrusting into her hand. "You're so fucking sexy Scully.., you're killing me..." tugging at the end of his shirt, he slides away from her gorgeous body. She's completely exposed to him. "So beautiful," he murmured, mesmerised.

He squeezes one of her breasts with one hand and sucks on her pink and hard nipple with his warm mouth. She moans deeply, losing the grip on his cock. Her breasts were so sensitive that she felt she could cum only with his mouth on her tits. She holds his shoulders, pushing herself into his mouth. "Ugh… god… M- Mulder."

She half kneels- and half stands above him, pushing her boobs into his mouth, clutching his shoulders and hair to stabilise herself.

With one hand, he holds her hip, his other hand slides slowly down her rear, moving into her entrance from behind. She's drenched. Before sliding one finger inside her, he spread her wetness from her slit to her clit. "Ugh!" She exclaimed.

He shoves two fingers inside her and strokes her sensitive anal nub with his thumb. While he fucks her with his fingers, he keeps sucking her teat.

She is holding his neck and moaning loudly. The stimulations sent an electrical shock through her body, making her quake violently. "M-Mulder, I- I gonna… don't stop… please." She was in a frenzy now, thrusting her soaked pussy into his hand, desperately seeking release. Soon she was spasming, throwing her head back, shouting his name as her orgasm hit her hard.

The scene in front of him was fascinating. Her entire face was relaxed, mouth slightly open and eyes firmly shut.

Her whole body was burning up, her legs were like jelly. She throws herself on the sofa, lying on her back, thighs open, arms thrown above her head haphazardly. Her chest rises heavily while she pants.

Mulder kneels in front of her and kisses her legs and thighs. He licks her entrance and sucks her swollen and sensitive clit hard. She jerked off the couch, growling.

He was hard as a rock; he had to fuck her now. Moving his kisses up, he moves his body above hers, holding his weight on his arm on each side of her head. His heavy cock lying between his abs and hers. She has a smirk on her face as she comes back from her high. "Are you alright?" he asks, kissing her neck and cheeks. "This was sexy as hell!"

He kisses her lips, and she sighs when she tastes herself in his mouth. That wasn't enough. She needs him. "I need you to fuck me now Mulder," she says into his parted mouth, her desire making her voice tremble. "I need you inside me, so fucking much, babe."

He couldn't resist her when she spoke profanities into his mouth like this. She turned from temptress to adorbs in a heartbeat. His heart was bursting with love for this woman. She never called him like that. It made him even harder. He pushes her into the middle of the sofa, rubbing his shaft. He positioned himself in front of her, spread tights. His body slides into hers and he lies on her chest, pressing his chest against hers. As he thrusts into her languidly, they both exhale with pleasure.

"Oh my god Mulder, you feel so good… so good," she moans as she moves with him. She feels her skin tingling with desire.

His thrusts are slow but powerful. Rotating his hips with precise movements, he makes love to her. Their skin glides together. He knows how much she enjoys the sensation of his skin slapping against her own.

He's buried inside her to the hilt, stretching and filling her walls in all the right places. They locked their lips, languidly kissing. "Mulder, harder," she murmurs.

He watches every detail of her face. Eyes closed, jaw slightly loose with pleasure. It's captivating how she gives herself to him with such abandon every time they make love. Suddenly, he needs to see her eyes, see what he is doing to her. "Look at me, sweetheart." He asks with a sweet voice.

Locking eyes with her, ramming into her with controlled movements. He murmurs. "I love you... I will never leave you… You are mine."

A loud moan comes from her. Her hands were tangled in his hair. She rests her heels on his thighs, making him slide deeper inside her. With every stroke of his intense pounding, her body quivers with want.

"I l- love you too, so much, so much…" she whispered, kissing his face and lips.

"Scully, are you feeling me… can you feel what you do to me? How hard I am… hum?" He moves harder and harder, pounding into her erratically holding her side hard. "Can you feel me?" he whispers into her ears.

He is driving her crazy with this mix of tenderness and dominance. "YES!" she shouts.

She needs to touch him, to fuck him. "Mulder," she said. "I want to be on top."

He slid off of her and sat on the sofa with his feet on the floor. She moves onto him, straddling and impaling herself into him. She grabs each side of the back sofa and starts moving on him, swaying back and forth on his length, riding him with all of her might, seeking release.

The shift in position makes him grunt loudly. He grabs her arse and helps her move up and down. Her eyes are heavy with desire, and her pupils are so dilated that they are almost dark, she's biting her bottom lips hard.

"Mulder-r…" her head back. Boobies bounced with her vigorous movement, closer to his mouth. He grabs it and licks her nipples as she clenches his hair, grinding into him with abandon. In one fluid motion, he slides his hips off the couch, allowing him to thrust them hard into her, making her cry out with pleasure.

They are both thrusting against each other like maniacs, gripping her hips so hard she is sure will leave bruises… "YES… YES M-MULDER…!" she's yelling frantically "dontstop… dontstop… dontstop!"

He keeps thrusting into her as if his life depended on it. "Mine, you are mine, Scully," he growls, sucking her neck roughly.

"I am yours," she groaned back. She never felt so claimed in her entire life. She never thought she would want to be, but she trusts him completely with her body, heart and soul.

They gasped. Their whole body quakes as they spasm around each other as their orgasm hits them hard, making them cum hard and long.

She collapsed on his chest, burying her face in his neck. They were panting. Their heart-racing hard in their ribcage. She's feeling like a ragged doll. She feels used and spent and she couldn't be happier.

They are glued to each other, close together. She never felt so connected to any human being in her entire life. Smoothing his neck, she murmurs almost inaudibly, "never leave me." Her heart is throbbing, her skin tingling, and her eyes are burning with unshed tears. She knows this isn't like her, and this is pure, post-coital bliss, but she's done trying to control it.

He needs to see her, taking both sides of her face in his hands and kissing her softly. He whispered. "I won't… I promise… I am yours forever."

As he slides himself off of her, he uses the shirt next to the sofa to clean himself. Afterwards, he cleans his vestiges from her, while she watches his intimate act with adoration.

"Thanks," she said, leaning in and kissing his lips.

They share a sweet hug. Her body is heavy above his, she's sleepy. He gets up with her in his arms. "Mulder..." she giggled as she tightened her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his back, hiding her face in his nape.

"Hold tight Scully." He chuckles, carrying them both to his bedroom. He laid her on her back in the middle of the bed. Covering their naked bodies with a blanket. He lies on top of her, nestling his face in her neck, still not ready to let her go. She clings to him, embracing him with her entire body.

After a while, he rolls away, facing her. She peppered his face with sweet kisses, finishing in his mouth. They gaze at each other with adoration, not needing to say the words. Their feelings are all written on their faces. They kiss till they haven't any energy left. With limbs entwined in each other, she felt safe, soothed, and loved. His heartbeat lulls her into a peaceful slumber.

xxx

One week after Mulder was abducted.

That was their last weekend together. Every time Scully closes her eyes, she remembers that day. How they clutched to each other like they knew what was about to happen. How they woke up later, sticky and smelling like sex. Grinning like a Cheshire cat.

She remembers how they had a long and slippery shower together. Mulder washed every inch of her body. After she licked him thoroughly as he came into her mouth. How he pushed her into the wall and fucked her senselessly.

Finally leaving the bedroom, the two of them were starving. They walked to a brunch place with their hands clasped together and beaming ear to ear.

Back at his place, they stayed in constant contact. Slowly and leisurely, they made love. They snuggled on his couch and finally watched the famous 'The Matrix' like they were just a regular couple with their whole life ahead of them.

His words of love and desire were left burning in her head.

Now she only wishes she could hold him again.

Little did she know her fluctuating emotions and crazy libido were raging out of control because she was already carrying their baby. Their Miracle. Their baby has become her salvation because if it wasn't for him growing inside of her, she knew she wouldn't be able to carry on. Her heart ached so much that sometimes she wasn't able to get out of bed. However, she keeps going for their baby. She won't give up looking for him. She only hopes she'll find him alive.

I waited patiently. To find the one to balance me.

My perfect other. My perfect opposite.

Life feels empty, my love.

It pains me to give you up.

Now I only wish I could hold you again.

The End