A bit of a pallet cleanser story I wrote to keep myself from burning out on writing the reboot of Meitantei Scramble. I originally intended for this one to be really light hearted and relatable but... I went into it thinking I had a plan but wow this one totally went off the rails and became... something, I'm not really sure what this is, but it's definitely something.
Kaito wasn't expecting this...
I wasn't sure what I had been expecting when Hakuba dragged me to an empty stairwell during the middle of lunch break, but this absolutely hadn't been it. Never in a million years would this have been what I thought the detective had wanted to speak with me in private about.
"Kuroba, I've actually loved you for quite some time now."
That's what he had said only moments ago, and in the moments I'd just been trying my best to process the situation but if felt so surreal that I was having trouble believing that it had actually just happened.
"Well...?" Hakuba was looking at me in a way that made it quite clear that he was embarrassed and would much rather be looking away.
Hakuba was asking for an answer. An answer that I really wasn't mentally prepared to give.
"Hakuba, I... Sorry... I..." I scratched the back of my head a bit awkwardly. Not really sure what I was supposed to be saying here, after all surely Hakuba already knew that I didn't feel the same way.
Or maybe he doesn't know that. Either way I'm sure it's taking him an awful lot of guts to just come out and say it like this... I really want to give him a proper answer but the shock of it all is making it difficult to form a coherent sentence.
"You don't have to say anything else, Kuroba, I know you aren't interested," Hakuba stated somewhat coldly as he turned and took a few steps back in the direction of our classroom, "I was just saying it so I wouldn't come to regret it later..."
It was easy to see he'd just put up his own style of poker face to protect his more vulnerable emotions now that he'd finished taking the chance to serve me his heart on a silver plater.
I open my mouth to speak up but suddenly my mouth feels dry, it's a struggle to get anything out and when I finally do it's just a single word, "...Why?"
The detective turned back, raising an eyebrow inquisitorially, "... 'why?'... why, what exactly?"
"uh...why do you love me...?" As soon as the words left my lips I felt guilty. It was definitely cruel to be asking something like that when I'd just all but rejected him, I knew that, but I also knew that I really wanted- no, needed to know the answer.
I had thought that I'd known everything there was to know about Hakuba, but this had been a complete curveball. After so many times I'd disguised myself as him so flawlessly that even his most obsessive fan likely wouldn't have noticed, and all those late nights sneaking into the detective's home to ensure that he hadn't managed to pocket some evidence that his fancy computers would analyze and use as proof of my nighttime activities... to think there was still something I hadn't known about him.
Did I need to research him more thoroughly? Perhaps spend a whole day tailing him like a stalker- No. Don't need to add to the list of crimes, not right now at least.
The blond hesitated a slight blush forming on his face, "That... would probably take longer than lunch break to explain."
"Then um... can we talk after school?" I suggest, knowing it's a long shot.
"... Fine," he replies and once again starts heading back to class- but I stop him again.
"but uh... since when have you been gay?"
I just really needed to know, or I'd be thinking about it for the rest of the school day.
"First of all, Kuroba, I'm not gay. I'm asexual and demiromantic... Secondly, that's not how sexualities work."
Eh?
...
Several hours later when school had ended I found myself in a karaoke booth alone with Hakuba.
Given the nature of the discussion we were planning to have it didn't seem right to go to either of our houses, being in a bedroom with someone that has feeling for you holds a certain implication after all. However, a more public location didn't seem like the correct answer either, and that was how we ended up here.
For a while we sat in silence.
I turn on a song if only to provide some background noise.
"... you wanted to know why I..." Hakuba gulps, "... fell in love with you...?"
I absolutely do, but suddenly a nervous chill runs down my spine, "... yes, but um... first can you explain what you meant earlier?"
"Earlier?"
"You said you were asexual and demiromantic... I tried looking them up during class, but it seems like those words can mean a lot of things to different people."
Both were things I hadn't really realized were options before, but now being presented with them I found myself wanting to know more. I was probably going to be looking into LGBT stuff all night when I got home tonight just to understand it better.
He nods, seeming at least a little less emotionally invested in answering this question, "Ah, I suppose people don't talk about these things much here in Japan... to put it simply I don't feel sexual attraction for people of any sex or gender, and I only feel romantic attraction once I've gotten to know a person first. So... I would say I'm more attracted to a persons mind than their body."
Huh... Well I guess that suits him. And come to think of it he never seemed quite as crazy about Akako as all the other guys in school...
"Huh...okay, I think I get it... so then you think my 'mind' is attractive then...?" Even though he's only seen the sides of me that I can show at school?
He offers a kind of awkward smile, "Despite my better judgements, yes."
"Yeah... bad move." I chuckle.
He looks away a little, blushing ever so slightly as he says, "Your laugh is pretty cute."
Something about the statement really causes his earlier confession to hit me again, this time slamming into my mind with all the weight of a boulder.
Love was a word that I had never quite gotten the hang of. For starters it didn't always mean the same thing when different people said it. Sometimes love was just a word people used because they were lonely and wanted company for a night, but sometimes it meant that they wanted to settle down get married and start a whole life together. Some people liked to throw around easily, some liked to save it for a rainy day like it was something precious that they might run out of if they didn't use it sparingly. The nuances could be difficult to wade through...
All that to say, I was quickly realizing that when Hakuba said 'love' he didn't mean it in some half hearted way. He had it bad.
"You're... really in love with me..."
"Did you think I wasn't serious before?"
"I... I underestimated how serious you were." I admit.
"You seem to make a habit of underestimating me."
I couldn't argue with that, it was definitely true that I hadn't been taking him seriously enough both at heists and as 'Kaito'. I can't let him keep catching me off guard like this, "Never again. You're getting serious Kaito from now on. Maybe I'll even end up overestimating you."
"Oh? I'll look forward to seeing this new serious Kaito next heist."
Right, Hakuba's known for quite a while, even if I don't leave any evidence that could be used to prove anything he's always been so sure... Wait- is it even okay for someone going into a career in an investigative field to have these kinds of feelings for someone they're pretty sure is an internationally wanted criminal? That seems kind of bad, though I guess I have no right to be talking about what's right or wrong given my profession.
Actually... he still hasn't told me why he loves me, he said he fell in love with my mind more than my body but... he definitely knows 'Kid' better than 'Kaito'. Somehow it irks me to think that he could have fallen for my phantom thief persona rather than the real me.
"Look um... Hakuba, If this is all because you think I'm Kaitou Kid then I'm flattered but I can't accept a confession that's not meant for me..."
"Kuroba, just this once, if you would please not play dumb..." He sounds somewhat exasperated, "You are Kaitou Kid, you and I both know it, it's not as if I would ever arrest you if I didn't actively catch you at a crime scene. Can you and I just have an honest talk without any pretense?"
I can feel his sincerity, he really has no intention of putting me behind bars, this isn't just some long calculated act. I feel my poker face crack a bit and reflexively I bring a hand up to partly cover my face as I look away.
Hakuba's trustworthy, I know he is, it's not a problem with him.
The problem is that I can't bring myself to open up to anyone. A magician never reveals his secrets... I had taken that rule to heart from perhaps too young an age, and now I found it difficult to open up about anything at all. I don't tell anyone anything important unless I absolutely have to. If I encounter a secret that I feel needs to be revealed then I borrow someone else's mouth, whether that be through a disguise or by leading a detective to the clues and letting them pick up the pieces.
Everyone who knows I'm Kid was someone I hadn't had to tell, they'd confirmed it by their own means... like Hakuba. I suppose that if he's serious about not arresting me outside of heists then denying my identity so strongly has been something of an insult to his intelligence- as if he would give up believing his own deduction just because I say 'no, I'm not Kid'.
"I... I won't admit to anything, I can't... But..." I choke out the words, "... I'll try to stop denying things. Is that good enough?"
He blinks, "It's a start, I suppose."
Good, cause that's the most honesty I'll be able to muster in the presence of someone that until this point I'd been fully thinking of as a rival.
"... You brought it up so, yes, my feelings for you and Kid aren't entirely separate. I mean... Kuroba, the first time we met was at a heist, admittedly... I didn't think much of you back then, I'd very much underestimated your skill and just assumed that Nakamori-keibu and his men must have been incompetent to continuously fail to catch a thief that announces his appearances and shows himself flagrantly enough to have a fanclub... but even though I thought that I'd outsmarted him, he completely played me the fool. I was impressed, and when I asked why you steal you simply retorted that it was my job to find that out."
I swallow the words of denial that I want to say and give him a nod to continue.
"My curiosity had been piqued, I wanted to know more about the mysterious man I'd seen that night. I began investigating immeadietly, trying to learn anything I could- and that search led me to you. It didn't make sense, a boy my age couldn't have possibly been a thief that had gotten a start before I had been alive... and yet, that was where all my leads were pointing. I enrolled in school at Ekoda high to observe him and only became even more confused... on the surface the only similarity that Kuroba Kaito bore to the thief that had caught my eye was the flair of a magician..." He rambles, his constant switching of how he referred to me making it clear that this speech wasn't something he had practiced, "but I kept watching you, mostly at a distance but on occasion I'd try to prod for a reaction... and after months of observing him both at school and at heists I'd started becoming fascinated, I felt like I'd gotten to know a considerable bit about you, but I still couldn't understand the thief's motives at all-"
"If you still just want Kid's motive then you may want to look into people with slight of hand skills that died around the time that Kid disappeared..." I offer.
No sooner have the words left my mouth, I regret them. Internally I'm screaming. I should have never relaxed around him. I know I was trying to be less closed off, but isn't that way too much of a hint? I let too much slip! Didn't I basically just tell him that that the first Kid was killed?
Hakuba's staring at me, seeming almost in shock after my sudden interjection.
It's silent for what feels like a long while, the karaoke machine had stopped playing music at some point.
"Kuroba..."
He sounds worried. Maybe he's right to be.
"Kuroba, you're pale... are you okay?"
"I'm fine..." I lie as I internally scramble to salvage my poker face.
Just calm down. Breathe. I can't take the words back so I just need to stop thinking about it and make sure- Was it always so cold in here? Why can't I just breathe?
...
I blink awake.
Quickly I find myself wondering why I hadn't been awake, but I can't remember anything after meeting with Hakuba in the karaoke place. A look around quickly informs me that I'm currently in one of the guest rooms at Hakuba's home.
Oh God, Hakuba didn't drug me did he?
I dismiss the thought immeadietly. Doing such a thing really wouldn't fit with his usual actions at all, though I suppose neither did most of his behavior today.
A calmer inspection of my surroundings reveals several details that hadn't seemed as pressing as the location had. I'm neatly tucked into the bed, still wearing my clothing from the day, there's a full glass of water on the table, and Hakuba is in a chair at the edge of the room- presumably taking a nap by the sound of his breathing.
My mind is already spinning trying to assess the situation. Why am I here? What happened at the karaoke booth? What time is it? Why is Hakuba sleeping in a chair in this guest room when this is his house and he could by all rights be sleeping in his own bed? Some of the answers come easily, others would have to wait until the detective woke up.
Embarrassingly enough, I must have fainted at the karaoke booth, from there it's safe to assume that Hakuba brought me here and because he was worried about the uncharacteristic lapse in my health he tried to look after me but then the time grew late and he ended up falling asleep. The questions of the current time and why Hakuba brought me here of all places still stand.
I sit up in the bed and stretch a bit. I feel well rested... must be pretty late. Sure enough, when I check my phone I see that it's just past four in the morning. Damn, I was really out for a while.
With minimal caution I sniff the glass of water and take a sip to sooth my dried throat.
So... What now? I could definitely just leave without being noticed, but given that he'd taken the care to bring me here out of worry I should probably at least let him see that I'm okay before I leave. It'd be rude to wake him though, wouldn't it, he's sleeping pretty soundly for being in a chair instead of a bed...
I let minutes pass before I lose my patience and lightly nudge the sleeping Hakuba. No reaction. I give him a slightly harder nudge but when that also fails to rouse him I decide to take a different approach. I lean in next to his ear and whisper, "wake up, Tantei-san."
His eyes snap open. Had he just been pretending to sleep? No, probably just a reflexive reaction to the voice after some of the more ridiculous stunts I've pulled as Kid. I see a slight blush forming on his face, probably from how close my face is to his.
I pull away, taking a few steps backwards before apologizing, "Sorry for waking you, but I thought you'd be better off sleeping in your own bed, wouldn't want you to wake up too sore."
"Ah... I appreciate the concern," He pulls the usual gold pocket watch out of his pocket, "Did you only just wake up? You were out for a long time... I was beginning to worry I should have taken you to the hospital instead."
"I woke up a few minutes ago... come to think of it, why didn't you take me to a hospital?"
"As far as I could tell the symptoms matched up with a panic attack, I assumed you'd prefer to not have much attention on you if it could be avoided. And as an added bonus you'd be waking up in a familiar location instead of a hospital bed."
So he's aware that I've been casually breaking and entering...
"Ah... I appreciate that," I couldn't help but frown a little at the thought of having had a panic attack so easily. I'd need to be more careful going forward.
"In anycase... I feel I must apologize," Hakuba bows slightly, giving off a more humble appearance than I've ever seen him portray, "I hadn't realized it would be that difficult for you to be open about... you-know-what. You always seemed to treat the subject lightly before, I didn't know that speaking about it would effect you like this. So, I'm sorry for having forced you to go along with my selfish request for an open discussion..."
I take a few more steps back to take a seat on the bed, "... I didn't know it was going to effect me that strongly either."
He frowns, "Is this the first time something like this has happened."
"Yes." I confess.
"Then you should rest a little longer, if you're still feeling stable when we reach reasonable waking hours then I'll escort you home." Hakuba suggested.
"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll be able to relax better at home."
"I'll escort you now then... given the time I can't have Baaya get the car, but I can at least walk you home."
"No need."
"Kuroba, if you think that I'm going to let you go home alone after you fainted like that earlier then you're underestimating me again. I've no intention of leaving you alone until I'm sure you're safe," He insists.
"Fine..." I mutter. As if I've ever been safe in the time he's known me.
...
The walk home is surprisingly pleasant.
Hakuba and I chat casually, though I can tell he's consciously avoiding bringing up any topics that could relate back to me being Kid. It's nice talking to him like we were just normal friends for once. As much as I appreciated our usual bantering, I found myself wishing that we'd met under different -friendlier- circumstances.
When we make it to my home he's quick to assert that I should go to bed and get some proper rest, and just as quickly he leaves once he knows I'm safe inside.
I ignore his advice, I'm not nearly tired enough to sleep, so I hop on my computer to do some proper research into some things that the events of the day had made me realize that I had never really understood.
