AN: First off, I'm so sorry this is two days late. I was going to upload it after work on Friday but my housemate decided to build a fort which then somehow turned into a house party...I got very drunk and the next day I had to go out all day. It has been quite a weekend. I'm going to have to figure out this update schedule for this, so it may change over the next couple of weeks. But I'll let you know before I change it.
Now...this chapter is not nice. It's just a whole chapter of not nice things. Good luck.
Chapter 3: You've got to reach a little more. More. More.
There had been a lullaby voice in her head all throughout summer. It had started from the moment she'd woken up in the Infirmary and she no longer wanted anything to do with it. The lullaby voice seemed to balance her mind on a delicate string of calm, pliant and aware and it remained steady in her brain no matter how much she tried to overcome it.
The only time she had felt it nearly fade away was after she had woken up with Madame Pomfrey tending to a head wound. The voice had been dull. She could almost tell the matron what had happened to her in the Chamber. But as soon as Dumbeldore came into the room the dullness became sharp and she couldn't say anything she wanted.
"What happened, my girl?" he asked.
"I don't know," she seemed to say.
She left the infirmary after a plethora of tests on her mind, and at some point Dumbledore had called her into his office where Professor Snape, a distraught Mrs Weasley and a tear-stained Mr Weasley sat.
There were conversations and shouting and crying and anger and questions. But every time that question was asked, all Halley could say was "I don't know."
"You're a selfish little girl," the Weasley Matriarch said to her as she cried into an old handkerchief. There was a hiss of reproach from her husband but the woman continued. "Our child is dead and you won't say anything! We can't even bury her!"
"I can't remember," she said once again. The woman looked like she was going to slap Halley but Professor Snape stepped in front of her.
"As much as you may fail to acknowledge, Mrs Weasley, the girl doesn't know anything. Dumbledore has informed you that somehow her memory has been tampered with," he said with an air of disdain at her unwillingness to listen.
Why Halley was even let in the room with the heads of the Weasley family she did not know. It was possible that Dumbeldore thought some form of guilt would trigger a memory - she wouldn't put it past him - but if her memory truly had been tampered with then there was literally nothing she could do about it.
Eventually she had to leave the castle and when she did the questions stopped. The voice became dull once again but the calm did not go away. And hidden under it seemed to be all of the emotions she usually felt when she was back at the Dursleys.
The hate was gone; it was almost like the string of calm cut through any emotion that raised to the surface of her mind just a second before the emotion would try and take hold.
It was an unsettling experience and Halley felt out of control. She'd always had her hate, even if she hadn't wanted to acknowledge that it was there. There had always been that little bit of something at the bottom of her stomach that drove her when times at the Dursley's got too bad or a situation was particularly enraging. Like the one she was in now.
But just because she knew the hate was gone - and now by extension knew it had always been there - didn't mean she could do anything about it.
And the Dursley's were particularly vindictive that summer.
There was a particularly nasty bruise just under her ribs on her back where Vernon had pushed her against the table because she was in his way. Her ribs weren't cracked, not from what she had been able to feel, but the bruise was particularly nasty. Petunia had given her a packet of frozen peas for twenty minutes. It was just enough time for the family to finish breakfast before Halley needed to clean up.
That had been a couple of days ago and she was still feeling the dull pain of the bruised tissue as she bent down on the driveway in order to get rid of the weeds that had started cropping up again.
The task was monotonous and did little to take her mind off the pain. And the hot sun was beating down on her making the pavement almost too hot for her knees and hands to touch. But at least it wasn't hard.
They had eased up on the truly physically difficult things once she had started Hogwarts. While she couldn't be sure, Halley suspected they had stopped because it would be difficult to explain to Wizards why a child came back to school after the summer holidays with broken bones and bruised welts.
A shadow crossed in front of her and before Halley could recognise what was happening a voice rang out in the near silence of the summer's day. "My my, isn't this a surprise Miss Potter."
The voice was familiar to her. Halley looked up to see a cruel smile on the face of Tom Riddle and she froze still, hand on a weed she'd been attempting to pull out.
She hadn't forgotten what had happened. She didn't think that anything could make her forget. But what had happened seemed almost like a dream. A mirage concocted by the heat of working outdoors every day in the blazing sun.
"Riddle," she whispered.
"Have you been well?" he asked.
Halley turned to glance behind her. Petunia wasn't there but Halley knew she would be back sooner or later and while she did not like her aunt, she didn't necessarily want her to die - if for no other reason than not knowing where she would live. It was better the devil you knew after all.
"It's rude to keep people waiting, you know," Riddle drawled out.
Halley snapped her attention back to him. There was a glint in his eye that hadn't been there in the Chamber. Something that made him seem slightly more feral than he had in the dark green. She didn't like it.
This was an unknown; too many variables were at play here that she didn't know how to interpret and so Halley felt herself fall into the role of subservience. She lowered her eyes and nodded. "Yes."
"Good." He took out his - Weasley's - wand and began to cast something. The movements were unfamiliar and he was casting wordlessly. Nothing seemed to happen but there was a sudden artificial silence around them. Like they were in a bubble.
Halley looked towards the house and froze when Petunia stared back at her for a moment. Halley was sure the woman would come surging out any moment but instead she just looked down.
Whatever the spell had done made it so that Riddle could talk to her without Petunia noticing him.
Halley swallowed at the power he'd displayed in one simple movement and she firmly kept hold of the gardening fork she had.
It wouldn't do much but the mere feel of it in her hand...just in case...it gave her a false sense of reassurance.
"Now, look at me."
Halley frowned but looked up at him. The angle made her neck ache and the sun was almost directly shining on his face, making it almost hard to look at him.
"There are some things that I need you to tell me. Try to stay truthful because I'll know if you're lying, ok?"
"Ok," she said.
"What did you tell Dumbeldore about the Chamber?"
"I told him that I didn't remember what happened?"
"And he believed you?"
Halley nodded. "I told him bits and pieces - seeing Weasley -" her voice hitched. "Seeing Weasley on the ground. Hearing the Basilisk - hearing Fawks."
"And the girl?"
Halley swallowed back the reflex to throw up as she remembered the sound and the image of the snake swallowing her. "She wasn't there when I arrived."
She felt the slightest touch of pressure in her head from the angle her neck was craning at but she didn't dare move.
Riddle hummed like he didn't believe her but he didn't say anything to suggest he didn't. "Did you look him in the eyes when you told him all of this?"
"I - no. I couldn't."
"Well done," he said. It almost seemed like he was amused and Halley bit her lip as a way to ignore the anger burning.
"Why are you here?" he asked.
"What?"
"Why are you living with Muggles instead of with one of the many cousins the Potters have - or has all your family died out?" he asked casually.
Halley clenched her teeth and swallowed. "The Dursley's are family." It hurt to say that. She had never said it out loud before and she never wanted to again. But she couldn't lie to Riddle and they were technically her family.
"Interesting," Riddle said. "Who knows you live here?"
Why would he want to know that? What did this line of questioning have to do with anything? "I don't know -" and then remembering the letter she'd gotten before her first year, Halley added bitterly - "the school. Dumbledore. Snape. McGonagall."
Other than Parkinson - and that had been a necessary move - she'd made sure to never mention it around her Housemates, no matter how many rumours Malfoy spread or how often Greengrass looked at her suspiciously when holidays came around.
Riddle suddenly laughed. Halley was struck by how full and rich it sounded and suddenly she understood why Weasley had fallen prey to Riddle so easily. She hadn't known it was even a thought - except maybe at the back of her mind when Mrs Weasley had been cursing her very existence, the thought had slipped out in a whisper. Maybe if Weasley hadn't been so weak…
But If Riddle was able to sound so endearing with just a laugh then what hope did Weasley have? Especially if she'd never been around people who played pretend so well.
"The great Albus Dumbledore has a child at the mercy of Muggles, living like a House Elf and so trusting. He has everyone fooled."
"I don't trust him," Halley said.
"What was that?" Riddle asked, raising a dark brow. The smile was still there - still half in a laugh but now it seemed he was paying more attention to her.
Halley said nothing. But already she'd said too much and she knew Riddle had heard. She was well aware that on some level the headmaster was trying to craft her into something...some sort of martyr and she hated being manipulated by him. But it was clear to see that Riddle held some sort of vendetta against Dumbledore and Halley knew she would hate being manipulated by him as well.
"Well then, Halley Potter, one last thing. I'm going to need you to come with me."
"What?"
"As much as I'm sure you'll disagree, I don't trust you to not go running to someone once the school year starts up again. So I'm going to need an Unbreakable Vow from you."
Halley wracked her brain trying to remember if she'd come across that name before and she couldn't. Panic struck her as Riddle reached down and clasped her arm in his before yanking her up.
"Wait!" she called out, but before she could say anything else he spun.
A loud crack filled her ears and the world was spinning for what felt like an eternity and a moment all in one. Everything felt tight and she couldn't breathe. Bands pressed into her chest and into her head, straining her eyes and pushing her ear-drums deeper into her skull.
When everything finally stopped Halley blinked and recognised Knockturn Alley. For a second everything was fine, but then her stomach lurched and she was throwing up bile.
Riddle waited for a moment before handing her something to wipe her face and then started dragging her down an alleyway.
"What are you doing?" she cried out but he didn't answer.
Instead he pulled her until she was face to face with a woman who...Halley was sure this was the Wizarding equivalent of a prostitute. The woman looked a bit haggard with a heavily painted face and robes that were both incredibly tight and much shorter than the normal ones found in polite society.
"Who're you?" the woman asked, then looked at Halley. "Naw! I don't do tha'."
Halley didn't want to know what 'that' was or how many children were brought down to these alleyways to do it. Actually, the thought of it was making her feel sick.
"Imperio," Riddle called out. "Cast the Unbreakable Vow."
The woman took on a glazed look and Halley felt the startling realisation that this was the same spell Riddle had used on her. Everything had happened too quickly and in her anxiety-ridden state, Halley hadn't realised it was an Unforgivable that had been placed on her.
Suddenly everything made sense.
She didn't have time to process. Instead, she was face-to-torso with Riddle and he was once again clasping her hand.
"I'm going to explain this quickly. The Unbreakable Vow is a spell that binds the two contractors together. The vow is cast and if broken, results in death."
"Why are you telling me this?" she whispered, her voice cracking under the stress and the pain throbbing in her ribs.
"You can either do it willingly or I will imperio you to do it. Either way, you're going to make the Vow."
Halley wanted to throw up again but he was clutching her wrist so tightly she was worried that she would break it if she moved. The woman was still standing there with her wand drawn.
Almost imperceptibly, Halley nodded and Riddle turned their joined wrists so they were parallel to the tight walls of the alley. Immediately, a small thin silver chain wrapped itself around their wrists.
"Will you, Halley Potter, vow to keep silent about my return?"
Halley could feel the magic coil around her and it made her shiver. Without knowing why, she responded in kind, battling the magic but it did very little. Instead, she whispered out a small "yes."
"Will you vow to remain silent about what occurred in the Chamber of Secrets?"
"Yes."
"And will you vow to not interfere with any plans I make, regardless of requests made of you from others?"
Halley frowned at the ambiguousness of the vow. What did he have planned? And why would she need to interfere with it?
She looked away. It wouldn't matter either way. Riddle would make her agree one way or another and she would prefer to not have the fuzzy haze over her when she agreed.
"Yes."
"Good."
Halley felt the magic start to recoil and held on. Again, without knowing what drove her, she pushed up against the magic. "Do you, Tom Riddle, vow to teach me everything you know?"
Riddle's eyes locked onto hers, staring harshly at her and Halley's breath hitched. She didn't know what would happen if refused - she didn't know anything. And she supposed that was why she had asked that question. She could not be in a world where men used her as a pawn. She needed to know all the rules just so she could stay out of this game.
Riddle still hadn't said anything and she waited with bated breath. Eventually he spoke.
"I, Tom Riddle, vow to provide all magical knowledge I know."
"Do you vow to teach me all the magical knowledge you know?" she insisted. Riddle snarled.
"Yes," he bit out.
The fourth and final silver strand coiled around them and as soon as it was in place Riddle removed his grip from hers. He then turned to the woman and with a violent slash, sent an Avada her way. The woman crumpled to the ground.
The green light momentarily illuminated the alleyway and Halley slapped a hand over her mouth to catch the cry of horror. That was the same flash of colour she'd had in her nightmares. And that woman was dead.
What had she just done?
"You think you can run off?" Vernon asked. He was panting from range and the amount of force he'd put into hitting her with the belt.
Halley said nothing. She had perfected this routine down to figuring out how many hits she would get. They were all in the same area too, between her thighs and chest. The areas that no-one would need to see.
But she hadn't had a beating for more than two years, not like this anyway. Petunia had whacked her on the back with a pan that was slightly too hot before she had left for her first year of Hogwarts because she had been sick and had accidentally dropped the food in the pan.
Then Vernon had pushed her face into the food. "We have to train them, Petunia," he'd said.
The tip of her nose had been burnt but they had said it was from Halley being out in the sun for too long. People believed that one; she was always out in the front or back garden during the summer doing the garden without a sun hat.
It had been so long and she had stupidly let herself relax some at Hogwarts. Now she was feeling the effects of letting her resistance fall.
"You think we're stupid, don't you? Like we wouldn't notice you disappear!"
Vernon hit her again, the belt buckle cutting through her clothes and Halley bit back a scream. She didn't hear the last thud, nor did she feel herself hit the ground. There was too much pain stimulating her senses to be able to comprehend that she'd hit her head on the way down.
But she wouldn't scream. She wouldn't cry. Not for him.
"Were you off with some boy? You little slut!" He hit her again. "Just like your mum."
Halley said nothing. He would stop eventually. He'd have to.
This was Riddle's fault, she knew as black spots appeared from the pain. Riddle had left her in Knockturn Alley with no way of getting back. She'd had to figure out how to get from London to Surrey and the journey had taken her hours.
By the time she had gotten back, it was dark. Petunia had immediately grabbed hold of her by her hair and had dragged her to the cupboard, pushing her inside and banging Halley's head against the beams hard in the process. Promises of what Vernon would do to her the next day were given and now, Halley was feeling them.
"Where did you go?!" he asked.
Cradling herself, Halley coughed and blood splattered onto the floor. That wasn't good.
"Where did you go?!" Vernon shouted again.
What could she say? She couldn't say anything about Riddle or magic, that would just make him angrier. But she couldn't agree with him either. She didn't want to think that he would assault her like that, but Vernon Dursley was unstable and not above it.
Nothing had happened yet and if she could just stay out of their way until she was seventeen, she would be able to leave and nothing could stop her.
So she collapsed, pretending to have fainted.
It wasn't too far from the truth; she was on the edge of blacking out. But she wouldn't let herself until she knew he was gone. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Vernon!" she heard Petunia squeak with worry. Another knock sounded.
"Put her in the cupboard!" he said angrily.
Halley felt herself being dragged a few feet, be dumped on the ground and then heard the cupboard open. She was stuffed in and the door was slammed shut.
Sounds were muffled and it was too much effort to try and listen to who was at the door. It wouldn't make a difference anyway. Nothing would.
Halley blinked and felt something burn her eye. On instinct, she blinked rapidly but her eyes just kept burning. She lifted her hand to rub at it and a liquid coated her palm. At first, she thought they were tears, that she was crying without even realising it, but the liquid was too thick.
Oh. She was bleeding.
She tried to wipe the blood away, keeping her eyes shut so that it wouldn't fall into them again but her hand did very little.
The only thing that she knew was in the cupboard that would help was a small blanket that was supposed to keep her warm. She pulled at it and as she did so, Halley gasped.
The pain grew intense. Burning icy hot and immediately making her want to throw up.
Instinctually, she turned to her side as the vomit came up, but she swallowed it before she could let it out. The taste was bitter and acidic and it left her mouth fuzzy, but it was better for her to swallow it than lie in her own sick. She had learnt that the hard way.
Evidently, it seemed that the last burning pain was too much for her brain to handle because from one moment to the next, Halley was awake and then she was in blissful blackness.
The last thing she remembered was Riddle.
When she came to, the pain seemed more manageable.
Magic, Halley was coming to understand, was not something that was wholly controllable. She knew she'd had bursts of accidental magic as a child before she'd learnt to control it, but she hadn't realised how much it acted on its own.
The beatings she'd received had hurt the next day, and the day after that, but a week later, Halley felt no pain. There were still marks - those seemed to be taking the normal amount of time to fade - but there was no pain.
And she was sure that Vernon had broken a rib.
The Dursleys kept her in the cupboard under the stairs for the rest of June and half of July. Maybe they had been hoping to starve her to death. If that were the case, Halley wished that they would just kill her. It was kinder.
Hunger was a different kind of pain. But it became scary once you stopped feeling it. Then something was very wrong.
They fed her scraps and gave her thimbles of water every few hours so she knew she wasn't going to die in the cupboard. But as she starved in the dark cramped space of what had been her bedroom from the first 12 years of her life, Halley contemplated what it would be like for the Dursleys to be on the other end of it.
How would it feel to starve Vernon? To make a dent in Petunia with her cast iron skillet? To beat them until they were black and blue. Isolate them from everything and everyone.
What would it feel like to wring her hands around their necks or strangle Vernon with the belt, hole by hole until he turned that ugly magenta for the last time?
Halley turned over trying to alleviate the cramp in her leg.
Those weren't the first time she'd had those fantasies and she doubted it would be the last. The first time she'd wondered though, she had burst into tears. Halley had only been seven and the thought of putting cleaning product in Petunia's tea had seemed so easy.
But she had felt so guilty. She had wondered if she was a bad person like they had said. If she deserved all the punishments.
Now...well now they were thoughts to pass the time. She felt neither here nor there about them. She wouldn't kill the Dursleys. That wouldn't make her much better than them.
But fantasizing? There wasn't any harm in that.
