AN: Hello again all. A new chapter for you.

I wanted to give a little heads up about something. I got a comment from a reader not happy with the amount of character development Halley has. They expected a BAMF Halley even though I've stated from Chapter 1 that this will be a slow ascend to power for her to honour the realistic situation she's been in. Having said that, I do know she's a bit...meek. There's a big shift coming this year - about the time Rita Skeeter meets her. So it is coming. I promise you her take no shit moments are coming. I've had it planned for a few months now.

To all those that have read and commented, thank you very much. I hope you've enjoyed it thus far. And now, onto chapter 37!


Chapter 37: you've got to float before you learn to swim


31st July, 1994

She was fourteen today.

Birthdays were never something she put much stock in, especially after the Dursleys were so keen to drum into her how little she meant to them. Sometimes she thought Petunia was a little kinder to her than usual because Halley wasn't given as much work to do, or the Dursleys would leave to celebrate Dudley's birthday weekend. He was a week before her, so when his birthday fell on a weekday - which had been happening recently - she was left alone. Especially since that time she'd accidentally trapped him in the snake exhibit.

Halley had thrummed in a quiet pleasure as he'd banged on the glass with sheer terror in his eyes as the staff tried to get him out through the small hatch. He'd been too fat at the time, and they'd had to smash the glass. The broken finger she'd received after hadn't been worth it, though.

But this year, Vernon and Petunia told her, explicitly, to leave the house for the day. No chores. No withholding breakfast. She just needed to leave and make sure she told Mrs Figg that they'd given her a good day.

Dumbledore's visit had scared them enough that they were actually listening to him. But who was Halley to look a gift horse in the mouth? If she was allowed to roam around the neighbourhood without Dudley and his gang hunting her down, or without the threat of withholding dinner because she was out too long, then she definitely wasn't going to complain.

So, she left the house and went the few doors down to Mrs Figg's. She knocked, didn't make a face when the strong smell of cat hit her when Figg opened the door, and relayed her message. Halley hoped that would be it, but Figg wanted to talk.

"What did they get you?" she asked.

"They gave me some spending money. £10." They hadn't but she'd been stealing from the change when she could. Dudley left money in his jeans pockets and would forget about it or 'lose' it all the time. The Dursleys didn't blink when he asked for more, so she just kept on stealing where she could.

Figg blinked. "Well, that's something I suppose. Not much for a witch's fourteenth. I hear Hogwarts gets much more fun once you turn fourteen."

It was incredibly weird to hear Mrs Figg - who up until this point had just seemed like a crazy old woman who was too fond of her cats - talking about magic outside of Hogwarts. Halley realised at that moment that she'd never heard anyone other than Dumbledore and Riddle speak about magic so casually in Privet Drive.

The Dursleys didn't acknowledge it - and when they did, they didn't say the word - so there had always been such a clear separation between her life at Hogwarts and her life at Privet Drive. A cutting separation.

To hear Figg speak about it so casually was…almost off-putting. The boxes she kept her two lives in were merging more and more, and Halley wasn't sure she liked it.

"What house are you in, dearie?"

"Slytherin."

Figg's face changed from interested to confused. "Weren't your parents in Gryffindor? Houses usually pass through families."

She bit back the retort on the tip of her tongue. Her family hadn't been alive long enough to teach her Gryffindor traits, so was it any wonder she wasn't in the house?

"Well," Figg continued, "I wouldn't know much about Slytherin. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tended to run in my family."

"That's nice," Halley said.

As if realising they were still talking to each other on her front step, Mrs Figg made a noise and stepped backwards, opening the door enough for one of her cats to get through and start rubbing against Halley's leg. "Silly me. Why don't you come inside? We can celebrate your birthday with some biscuits!"

That was the absolute last thing she wanted to do. "Thanks, but I think I'm going to head into town and get myself a treat." Halley smiled, hoping the woman would just let her leave. Figg looked disappointed, but she nodded.

"Of course. Go, enjoy your time. They're treating you well, then?" she asked.

"Well enough," she said.

"Good, good. Well, off you trot then, dearie."

Halley smiled again but turned as quickly as was polite and made her way to the library. She wasn't going into town. As much as she wanted to, she didn't know whether Dumbledore had people, other than Figg, watching her. If she went too far, they'd tell him for sure, and he would wonder why she wasn't more concerned for her own safety.

And besides, she liked the library.

It was the one place she could be sure that Dudley wouldn't go to find her. None of his goons liked the library except for the VHS tapes they could borrow. But that was in an entirely different section from where Halley sat.

She didn't get to do it often, but it was cooler than outside, and there were interesting things to look at. And so long as she wasn't loud or took up too much space, the librarian was happy to ignore her when she did go.

Halley walked the semi-familiar route to Little Whinging Public Library. Up ahead, a lightly tinny song played, alerting the surrounding kids to the ice cream van approaching. She paused in front of it as the children ran out with change jingling in their pockets, or held tightly in their hands, staring up at the ice cream van in wonder. Slowly, the crowd of children dimmed down as they went back to their houses, or to the park on the opposite side of the road.

"You want one?" the man said.

She looked at the bright pictures. "One cone please," she said.

The man nodded and pulled a cone out from its stick. He pulled the lever, and slowly but surely the ice cream came out in a smooth line. The man circled the cone until there was a nice point, and then handed it to her. "50 pence, sweetheart."

Halley exchanged the handful of change for the ice cream cone, and the man drove away. She looked at it for a moment. It was so white, so fluffy, that she almost didn't want to disrupt the pattern. But she couldn't just let it melt in the sun. How often did she get ice cream outside of Hogwarts - and even then, she tried not to let herself indulge.

But it was her birthday. She could have one thing, couldn't she?

Halley took a small lick from the bottom following the swirl up. The cream was cold as it coated her tongue, and it was slightly too sweet for her liking, but as she took another lick, she felt her eyes heat up, and tears pooled.

She was crying. Why was she crying? Halley wiped the tears away quickly. Her reaction was embarrassing, and what was worse was that she didn't understand why it was happening. She hadn't cried since - well since the night Rowle had been Kissed. Why would she cry over ice cream of all things?

"Halley?"

She spun. She knew that gravelly voice, even if she hadn't heard it for years. "You're back."

Hannah Baker was standing in front of her. Her blonde hair that was usually tucked back into a ponytail or a bun - just like me - was out now. She was in a light sundress, and she was very visibly pregnant.

"I'm visiting my parents." Hannah shook her head like she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. Her hair bounced around her in the process. "I've not seen you for years. You've grown so much! How have you been?" she asked.

"Fine," Halley said, somewhat robotically.

"Right," Hannah said.

She still couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. Especially not now, as Hannah brought her other hand to her stomach and a diamond ring glinted in the sunlight.

"You got married," Halley said. The last time she'd seen Hannah was well before she'd started at Hogwarts. Hannah had gotten a job in America - she'd told Halley that she was leaving, but that she would write her and visit when she came to see her parents.

But Hannah barely visited, and by the time Halley had heard she'd been in Privet Drive again, it had been during Yuletide. Halley didn't come back until she had to.

Hannah looked down at the ring. It seemed to glint even brighter. "I did. His name is Mark. We met at work - disgustingly typical."

"Congratulations. I guess, for -" Halley gestured awkwardly to her stomach.

Hannah smiled. It was the smile Hannah would direct at her when she was younger and she brought a drawing or some stupid art work back from school for her.

"Thank you. We don't want to ruin the surprise but between you and me, I'm hoping for a girl."

That stung. She wasn't sure why, but the words hit Halley's chest with the sharpness of a knife. She was finding it tricky to swallow.

"Do you want to feel?" Hannah asked.

"No," Halley said immediately. "Thanks."

Hannah somehow seemed to immediately know what was wrong. She always did. "I didn't mean to upset you, Halley. I tried to see you - and I wanted you to come to the wedding. To meet Mark. But every time I came home, no-one would tell me where you were."

"I was at school."

Hannah rested her hand on her bump and tilted her head. "What school?"

"A private school. In Scotland."

"A private school? The Dursleys sent you to a private school?" she asked.

Halley knew that tone; her voice was a touch deeper because she didn't believe what Halley was saying. She'd heard it more often than not when Hannah would ask her about the Dursleys and Halley would give generic answers - like the ones she was giving now. "My parents' school," she said.

"Yes, that's what Figgy said. But she couldn't give me the name of the school."

Halley shrugged. "You won't be able to find it. It's a reclusive school." There wasn't much point in trying to be elusive or secretive with Hannah. She would just leave again.

The two of them were quiet as they took each other in. Halley could feel the ice cream start to drip down her knuckles, but she couldn't bring herself to eat anymore. The sweetness coated her tongue again, making her feel sick to her stomach.

"You're allowed to be angry," Hannah said, finally. "I didn't mean to leave you behind."

"I knew you wouldn't stay," Halley said. She hadn't meant to - she should have just said she was fine. That she hoped Hannah had a great life in America. Maybe Hannah would tell her that they should keep in touch, and Halley would say ok - but Hannah would stay busy and Halley…well who knew what was going to happen to her.

But the words came out. And now Hannah wouldn't let them go. She stepped forwards as if to give Halley a hug. And Halley wanted to take that hug - to hold her and breathe in the familiar smell. But she couldn't. She couldn't get attached again.

Hannah stopped herself though. Maybe time and distance and age was catching up to them. Maybe Hannah was worried that she would hurt the baby if she did it. It didn't matter.

"Can I take you to get a cold drink? Out of the sun. We can talk."

She didn't know.

Hannah was offering her possible answers, and Halley didn't get those often. But maybe having those answers would make her want to trust Hannah again - and she already knew that Hannah would leave.

But she wanted those answers. "Fine. Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"There's a coffee shop a little further down. Or we can drive into town and look for something there."

"The coffee shop is fine."

So they walked to the coffee shop. It wasn't far - maybe a ten-minute walk - but those ten minutes were spent in awkward silence. Hannah was slower than she used to be, and Halley didn't feel like waiting for her, so the walk was spent with Halley a little in front of Hannah, trying not to think too much about the entire situation.

At some point they passed a bin and Halley chucked the dripping mess of the ice cream cone in it. Her hands were coated in the stickiness of the dairy, but Hannah pulled a packet of tissues from seemingly nowhere and handed her one. "I've been pretty congested recently. I always have a packet on me."

When they got to the cafe it was quiet. It was more like a diner than a cafe, but at least there was barely anyone around. The waitress greeted them and sat them at a booth out of the sun. They were given water, and Hannah asked for a portion of chips to share.

Halley hoped that she wouldn't need to be there that long. "Why did you leave?"

Hannah shifted in her seat, obviously uncomfortable and nervous about the conversation. But she didn't back down. That was something Halley admired her for - even now. "I didn't mean to. I truly didn't. I was going to go for a year to build experience and then come back. But my parents and I got into a big fight about a month before I left."

"That's why you left?" Halley asked.

"No." She paused and let out a sigh. "This will make better sense if I tell it in order." Hannah looked at her as if to ask if that was ok.

Halley nodded.

"You know I found you on the Dursley's doorstep, right? I took you back to mine because it was so cold - too cold for a baby to be outside - and showed you to my parents. They told me you'd have to go back to the Dursleys. At the time it didn't seem weird. I was going to go to university - and the Dursleys were…annoying but they seemed to treat Dudley well. So, I didn't think much of it.

"I mostly stayed in Cambridge all three years. I came back sometimes, but I liked the freedom it gave me. But then I finished university, and eventually it was time to come home. And I saw you, trying to find your way to nursery because the Dursley's had left you behind."

Halley remembered that day. She hadn't known what to think of the woman who wanted to help. She'd been too worried that she would get into trouble if she didn't get to school on time. Hannah had walked her there.

"That was weird. And so I talked to your teacher, asked her to keep an eye on you, and then started bringing you around more and more. My parents weren't too pleased with it - they thought that it was encroaching on the Dursleys' lives, but you were good, and quiet, and respectful, so they didn't say anything about it.

"But one day you couldn't come because you'd broken your hand. The Dursleys said it was because you had fallen, but then a little while later you had to go to hospital for a concussion. Dudley would pick on you when you were out and about, and you didn't ever talk. Something felt wrong. But then the weird things started happening."

Halley panicked. "What?" Had Hannah seen her use magic? The Ministry erased Muggles' memories when they saw magic. Was that why she'd left? Halley had done magic one too many times, and Hannah just…stopped caring about her?

"Anytime I brought something up about the way the Dursleys were treating you, people would forget about it. Your nursery teacher was the first clue - I asked her repeatedly if you acted strange in class - if anything odd happened. She would tell me about something, like you didn't seem to know your last name, or you flinched away from the principal when he bent down to talk to you. But then she would just forget the next time I asked her."

Hannah looked frustrated and confused. Her face was flushed, and Halley didn't think it was from the heat. She took a sip of the water to calm herself down. The waitress came then, with their plate of chips.

"Do you want any sauce?" she asked.

"Have you got any burger sauce?" Hannah asked? "I've been craving it for months."

"Coming right up, love," the waitress said.

They waited until she'd brought the burger sauce, along with the ketchup and mayonnaise as well - "just in case" - and then went back to the counter before they started talking again.

"Have some chips, if you want," Hannah offered. "I was hungry, but now…"

Halley shook her head. "What do you mean people were forgetting?" she asked. It was strange - not normal. She was used to people ignoring what happened with the Dursleys - it was easier to ignore than to actually confront the things that went wrong. She was learning that now. But for them to be forgetting didn't seem normal. In all honesty, it seemed like some sort of magical intervention.

Hannah's tongue poked out against her top lip as she ran her tongue across her teeth. She sighed again and leaned back into the booth. "It was strange. I reported them to social workers. The police even, but…people just forgot."

"Wasn't there a record?" Halley asked.

"That's what was even stranger! Most of the time there was a record - when I asked to see a file there would be something under your name. But it was like they forgot about it as soon as I was gone."

That definitely sounded like magic.

For a moment, Halley wondered if it was Dumbledore. He was so adamant that she stay with the Dursleys; would it be all that odd if he tampered with things to make it so that she wouldn't be taken away?

Dumbledore truly seemed shocked when told how the Dursleys treated her. And he had threatened them. But he could be lying. The thought was at the forefront of her mind.

He could be lying. There was nothing to say that he didn't lie all the time and she just wasn't able to tell. Riddle had warned her he was good at Legillimency. You needed to be able to separate yourself from the person you were reading the thoughts of to be good at it, otherwise you could lose yourself in them.

She wasn't sure that meant he was good at lying, but Halley did know that it was easy to lie to yourself. It was one of the easiest things in the world. If he thought he was doing something good for her, then it would be easy to lie to her face.

"When I got the job, I asked my parents if they could keep an eye on you," Hannah said, snapping Halley out of her thoughts. "The Dursleys were getting worse, and you seemed so…scared all the time. It broke my heart but I wanted to try and figure out if what was happening here would happen over there too. So, I asked my parents to watch over you, but they got so mad. They said I was meddling in business that wasn't my own. That you wouldn't be put with a family that didn't care for you - that I was reading too much into it."

Her voice cracked. Halley looked up only to see that Hannah was crying. She wiped the tears away quickly, but it was so strange to see. Hannah never cried.

"I got so mad! I couldn't be around them anymore - especially if they could see you were being hurt and not doing anything about it. I thought they were good people but -" she let out a shuddering breath. "It doesn't matter."

"I left and came back - but you were gone. I thought - I thought maybe the Dursleys had sent you away somewhere or maybe…" she took a deep breath. "But people said you came back in the summer. I couldn't come back too often - I didn't have the money - but I tried. I tried to find the school you were supposedly sent to. I tried to look it up but there wasn't anything."

That made sense to Halley. But she couldn't quite wrap her head around how Hannah had seemingly gotten married and started a family if she cared so much about making sure she was ok.

"How long have you been married for?" Halley found herself asking.

"A couple of years," Hannah said, softly.

Halley swallowed and nodded. "I understand, I guess. Maybe I shouldn't have wanted you to stay."

Hannah shook her head and reached forwards, placing her hand on top of Halley's. Halley felt the warmth before she pulled her hand away.

"I'm sorry," Hannah said. "I forgot you don't like being touched." The awkward silence came back as the smell of chips wafted in the air from the heat. Hannah closed her eyes shut and hung her head. "I shouldn't have left you. You trusted me, and I was selfish. Mark was kind and sweet. I was able to be myself around him and I just wanted to be happy for a little while. But it shouldn't have come at your expense."

That hurt. The knowledge that Hannah wasn't happy - that she couldn't be herself around Halley was painful. It clenched tightly in her stomach and wouldn't let go.

On some level, Halley recognised that Hannah truly seemed to feel bad for what she had done. She very rarely minced her words, and as long as Halley had known her, she hadn't noticed Hannah lie. But recognising it wasn't the same as being able to believe it. Not fully.

It was hard to hear those words and know that Hannah meant them. Her actions spoke louder than her words, and she'd stayed away. She'd gone to America and settled down. She was starting a family. And Hannah hoped that her baby would be a little girl, and that little girl would probably be cheerful and bubbly. She would be small and fragile, not because she was damaged but because she was just a little baby who would grow up to be happy.

And Halley didn't even resent her for that. Who wouldn't want that future? Who wouldn't want a daughter who wasn't damaged?

"Thank you for telling me," she said, quietly. "I think I understand."

"Halley -"

Halley stood up. "You'll be a good mum," she said, and then she left quickly, worried that Hannah would try to follow her, but she didn't. And Halley was alone in the July heat again.

She didn't know where to go. She didn't want to go back to the Dursleys, and she didn't want to go to the library. But there weren't many options, and at least if she went to the library, she would be cooler than in the stuffy, fanless room the Dursleys had been forced to give her.

So, she made her way to the library. Like she had originally wanted to do before all this mess with Hannah.

Just like she thought, the library was quiet. Everyone was at the park or riding their bikes outside. The librarian barely paid attention to her as she found a little beanbag somewhere in a corner and pulled out a book. Her emotions, the ones that usually sat at the back of her mind, were roilling around in her head now. If she didn't focus on something else, she was going to start crying again.


Halley was asleep. She knew that.

Most nights she wasn't aware that she was dreaming, but maybe it was because this didn't quite feel like a dream. Something about it felt more tangible than her dreams, though that wasn't as true as her nightmares. Her nightmares were always tangible. It's what made them so hard to break out of.

But this didn't have the feel of a nightmare.

Halley was in a room that looked an awful lot like a study. A fireplace was lit - the flames flickering over each other steadily - and bookshelves and a desk lined the walls of the room. Riddle was there too. She could feel him as clearly as she knew that she was asleep, and this wasn't quite a dream.

"This is a surprise," she heard.

Halley turned in time to see a flash of red in Riddle's hand before it was gone, and somehow, she knew it was important and that it was tied to why he'd hurt his arm. She didn't know how he'd hurt it though - only that she'd seen his hurt arm before. Even if she was quite sure she hadn't. But it wasn't necessary to linger on it right now. "Why are you in my dream?" she asked.

"I could ask the same of you," he said. Riddle stood up and walked closer to her. This was the closest she'd been to him since that night with the Dementors, but she wasn't scared. That was partly to do with the fact that he'd pushed her emotions behind a manageable wall, and partly because Riddle felt oddly familiar to her.

Something had shifted that night - something that meant he wasn't going to hurt her. Not actively at least. But why did she know that?

"You're the one that summoned me, little Halley."

That was news to her. "Why would I want you in my dream?" she asked.

Riddle grinned. "You seem to feel like you don't belong. Like you're damaged goods."

Did she?

"You do." Riddle walked closer, reaching his hand towards her face. The long, slim finger brushed against her cheek with less force than she had expected, and he pulled it away. "You're still crying about it," he said, showing her the tears.

Halley put her own hand to her face and felt the wet trail there. She'd never cried in a dream before. She must have fallen asleep in the library. There had been so many emotions - too many emotions - but she did remember that sinking, hopeless dread she'd felt after realising Hannah was pregnant. And she remembered the emptiness of finally understanding that she wasn't wanted by anyone.

"Why did I call you then?" she asked again. But she knew the answer before he spoke the words out loud.

"Because you thought I could help."

It was a bitter pill to have to re-swallow. She'd already known Riddle mattered to her in some capacity - even if it was just to gain power. But to call for him when she was feeling so weak?

"Why did you come?" she asked. "You didn't need to."

He was still grinning at her. Not much was noticeably different, but somehow he now looked like the cat that had eaten the canary. "Because you and I have a deal. And I'm a man of my word, little Halley."

She knew he wasn't a man of his word. And yet she was confident he would keep it this time. For some strange reason, Halley felt like she could almost trust him. Not with much - that would be incredibly stupid - but with something.

"Why am I so sad?" she asked.

Riddle frowned, annoyed at the question. "You rely on others for your own happiness. You've not been practicing Occlumency," he said.

"I thought I didn't need to. Whatever you did worked." Quite suddenly, Halley realised that she had no clue what he'd done to her to make her feel so calm when, by all accounts, she should be unable to cope. "What did you do?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," he said, sharply.

"It has to do with that stone, doesn't it?" she said.

Riddle narrowed his eyes. "What stone?"

"I -" she didn't know. "You should tell me. Dumbledore is going to be keeping a closer eye on me this year. He found out about you and if -"

"What?" Riddle hissed.

"He knows you're alive."

"How did he find out?"

Halley bit her tongue in response to Riddle's anger. It was a usual response when Vernon got mad at her. If she screamed - if someone heard - things got worse. "The dog in the shack was an animagus - it was Sirius Black. He went to Dumbledore and told him about you."

Riddle began pacing. Tension pulled taught at her stomach, and Halley felt the urge to back away. To escape the dream. But she couldn't. He was anchoring her there now, just like she had called for him. It works both ways , she realised.

"How do you know?" Riddle asked, finally. His voice, still angry, but there was a calmer tone to it. More…calculated.

Halley did back away this time. "He told me. He came to Privet Drive and told me about -" she stopped, wondering if she should mention the prophecy now, or wait till later. "He told me you were - are - Voldemort."

He stared at her, taking in her words. And then he chuckled darkly. "I am. Or rather, I was what he sacrificed to become Voldemort."

The sentence didn't make sense to her, and yet she knew the answer to it "His soul?"

Riddle hummed. "Does that bother you, Little Halley? That I'm what made the man who murdered your parents?"

Her lack of answer was more interesting than anything he would have expected, but to Halley, it was odd. She'd spent the better part of the month thinking it over, and still she'd not been able to come to a decision.

It mattered, but not in the way everyone thought it would.

"Dumbledore is going to give me lessons this year. I think he's realised you Vowed me to silence, but either way, he's going to be keeping an eye on me." And one on you , she thought.

Riddle tilted his head. "Dumbledore is meddlesome - he always has been - but I doubt I'll need to worry too much. His only access to information about me is through you, and my secrets are safely locked away in your mind."

"If he uses Legillimency on me, I won't be able to stop him," she said.

"You won't need to. All Dumbledore will see from your mind is a reflective surface, I've made sure of that."

Fine, but that didn't answer how he was supposed to teach her this year. But she couldn't say anything because Halley felt contact on her arm, and then she bolted awake coming face to face with a concerned librarian.

"The library is closing now. Time for you to head back home," she said.

Halley blinked at the change in scenery but quickly focused on the woman. She nodded and stood up, making her way to the exit with a few too many thoughts in her head. But one thing was clear: Riddle wasn't going to get out of teaching her if she could help it.


The next day, Halley received two owls to her bedroom window. The first held her grades from the year and a note from McGonagall. She'd failed every exam except Defence and she was expected to report to her new Head of Year after the welcome feast.

The second had no name, but she knew the handwriting well enough.

Play his pet for now.


AN: You guys, I bought a house! I have a mortgage now. Eep! I'm excited and feel a little overwhelmed with it, and I share this to say that I may not post for the rest of October. I haven't decided on it or not, but if you don't see a post by the 23rd October then expect one in November. There's a good amount to do on this house before I can move in so I may need a bit of extra head space. Thank you for your understanding.