Disclaimer: I don't own the situations or characters portrayed herein. I'm just playing with them for a while.


One Flew East Part 2

He enjoyed being back in the field with Amanda, but he had always hated the danger it put her in. He hated the danger it put him in, now, too. She had always had two little boys to get back to, and now he did as well.

But they weren't so little anymore. They were teenagers now — teenagers who had no clue how involved he had been in their lives, from a distance. They had no idea how much he had done to give them some kind of normal childhood.

He didn't want them to know.

He didn't want them to feel like they owed him respect in return for the things he had done. He didn't want them to feel, rightfully, that he had been responsible for so many of the interruptions or disasters that had plagued their lives. He didn't want them to wonder why he had never introduced himself before.

No, he would get them to accept him on his own merits. If he could be involved in their lives now, as a positive influence and not a negative one, that would be a good start.

He was thinking all these things as he headed to the back door out of sheer habit. As he approached, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of raised voices.

"Look, I don't like the guy. I'll never like the guy, okay?"

He couldn't move if he had wanted to. And he didn't want to. He knew he was "the guy", and it broke his heart to hear Jamie so lost and scared. The poor kid didn't really have a choice in having Lee in his life, but there were a lot of changes going on and Jamie never did well with change.

There was a sound of a squeaky door opening, and Amanda's voice changed from cheery to uncertain to questioning in the space of one sentence.

"Okay, fellas, your dinner's in the oven and I'll probably be in the editing room all night. What's going on out here?"

"Nothing," said Jamie, in the voice that communicated that everything was, in fact, wrong.

"Junior here's just jealous of Lee," said Phillip the Tactless, and Lee thanked God for that kid's lack of basic interpersonal skills. "I'm going outside to practice."

He appeared around the trellis or fence thing that divided Amanda's backyard into several inconvenient sections, and stopped short at the sight of Lee standing there immobilized. He put his finger to his lips, and the boy nodded, shrugged, shook his head, and brushed past him.

"Jamie, let's talk," said Amanda, and the picnic table creaked a little. "You're jealous of Lee?"

There was a silence, but he guessed Jamie had shrugged. "Hey, look, you don't have any reason to be jealous of Lee, okay?"

"Yeah," Jamie muttered, sounding unconvinced.

"Well, when I was out in California, it was knowing that you and Philip loved me that helped me get through that. You know that, now come on. I love you just as much as I love Philip, or your grandmother, or Lee."

"Sure, whenever you're around," said Jamie, and he was absolutely right.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know, I know." There was a little more creaking from the old picnic table, and when she spoke again her voice had a squashed quality to it, as if her cheek were pressed against the boy's hair. "Oh gosh. You know, one day you're going to grow up and you're going to fall in love. Does that mean you're going to stop loving me?"

Did she think this would solve everything? Jamie couldn't logic himself out of a dislike of Lee that he didn't logic himself into.

"No," he answered.

"No?"

"No."

"Oh! Well then you understand."

"Yes."

"You understand that just because you love somebody new doesn't mean you stop loving the people you already love, does it? So that means I still love you."

"Yeah," said Jamie, and his voice sounded a little happier.

"And you know that."

"Yeah." He sounded hopeful again.

"So you feel better?"

"Yes."

Lee had forgotten that Jamie was still just a kid who trusted his mother completely.

"I love you. Come here, give me a hug. I really love you."

"I love you, too, mom."

"All right; everything's okay?"

"Yes."

Kids were strange.

"All right, go out there and teach your brother a lesson. Go ahead. Go get him!"

Lee had no time to move, but Jamie, mercifully, headed the opposite direction with his bright blue skateboard, and he didn't see him.

He came out from behind the fence, speaking thoughtfully. "Dr. Dutton used that same approach in chapter nine. Until right now I didn't quite understand it."

Dr. Dutton had other ideas he had discounted, too. He'd have to read that book over again. Parenting a teenager might be easier than he thought.

"Hello," she said, smiling at his preoccupation.

"Just forget the books and talk straight from the heart, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah. I hate to do this, but back to business."

Would they ever have time just to be a family?