Lincoln and Lisa landed in the universe G-004, where the Earth is a giant beaker with a green liquid in it, and a label spelling out the universe's name.
- Well, this seems to be our penultimate battle, brother. - Lisa said.
- Oh, thank GOD, I'm really tired of this stupid universe-hopping shit, I just wanna go home already!
- We can't go home just yet. The enemy we're about to face is the most dangerous of all, and we got to be prepared for whatever tricks he's got up his sleeve. - Lisa explains. - I'm certainly going to handle him, because while he's my exact copy in terms of arsenal and appearance, he's Lincoln, and they are not as smart as they want to be.
- Oh, yeah, if you have a chipped tooth and white hair, you're definitely not smart.
- You got it right.
- So you basically just insulted at least 0.0001% of the Earth's population.
- I did not. Anyway, back to our mission. We've got to find this rascal first…
The two walked around town, trying to find the culprit of the event. Unsurprisingly, all the streets were empty.
- Either he ran them all outta town, or vaporized them with some sort of laser gun or some shit. - Lincoln speculated.
- I'm pretty sure it's the former. - Lisa replied. - Hey, look at that! It's our residential area!
And, shockingly enough, it was their residential area.
- Looks futuristic… - Lincoln marveled at the sight of their alternate house. - Who's gonna come in first?
- We both should. There's nothing for us to lose, after all.
- Good point. - and so, they walked in…
The house was unusually quiet, which is definitely not a good sign.
- Hello? Anyone home? Can we fight you so we can finally rest already?! - Lincoln screamed into the void. There was nothing. - Huh. Looks like there IS no one home. Well, we're about done here, let's-
Just before Linc was about to leave, him and Lisa got strapped to weird iron chairs with helmets placed on their heads.
- Wha?... Hey, I said WE'RE GOING HOME!!! - Lincoln objected while trying to get free from the straps.
- Well, hello there, dear chaps. - a familiar British voice spoke up, before this universe's Lincoln walked out of the door. - I was hoping you'd visit.
- What are you up to, unruly absent-minded numbskull?! - Lisa called out in her usual "sesquipedalian loquaciousness" way.
- Nothing much, just to… Experiment on you, is all. - "genius" Lincoln said with a wicked grin. - You see, our Lincoln alliance has decided to spy on you in order to get you right where we want you and take you down once and for all. But, the unfortunate killing spree has cancelled all our plans, due to which I've decided to wait until you come right to my hands. And I've finally got what I wanted. Now, today's experiment will involve… Mind switch.
- I don't want to be teleported to this geeky, sweaty four-year-old body! - Lincoln winced.
- What a way to describe a born genius. - Lisa scoffed.
- No, no, the experiment won't involve that. At least for now~ So, just sign these liability waivers so I won't get sued for illegal experimentation on minors.
- But… You're a minor too, aren't you? - Lincoln clarified.
- Not mentally, at least, I… Ugh, just sign these, okay? I'm way behind my schedule already.
They signed it anyway.
- Alright, thanks. Now… Back to the topic~
The nearby devices started whirring and beeping, as Lincoln and Lisa started feeling extreme pain in their heads.
- Here we go, almost there…
The main screen showed "BRAIN SCAN COMPLETED" written in big red letters, following by "STARTING MIND SWITCH".
- This is going to be peculiar~ - Alternate Linc did an ear-piercing laugh, which certainly meant that the two were in for big trouble.
- Lisa, can you do something?! - Lincoln panicked. - You must have something to help us out of here!
- Alas, brother, I'm not capable of getting us out of this situation. - Lisa said in her usual monotone voice.
- But you're as intelligent as him, maybe even smarter! Can't you come up with something on the go?!!
- …I'm sorry. - Was all that Lisa could say.
- Good job, brainiac. You got us in even more trouble! - Lincoln started ranting. - First you left me to die in a snake's stomach, then you nearly left me on an uninhabited fucking island… You're a monster, you realize that? A selfish, know-it-all monster!!! If illegally performing experiments on your own siblings that can be POTENTIALLY LETHAL wasn't enough, you send BOTH OF US ON A DANGEROUS GODDAMN MISSION IN FUCK KNOWS WHERE, LEADING TO OUR DEFINITE DEMISE- You are a loser, you know that? There's a reason you don't have friends. It's because no one wants to be friends with a LITERAL FUCKING PSYCHOPATH WHO MOST LIKELY KIDNAPS AND TORTURES PEOPLE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES BECAUSE SHE JUST CAN'T LET GO OF HER IMMENSE KNOWLEDGE AND SOCIALIZE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!
Just then, three unbelievable things happened. First, the controller that Genius Lincoln used to conduct his devious experiments blew up, freeing both Lincoln and Lisa.
- Oh my God… OH MY FUCKING GOD, I'M FREE!!!! - Lincoln danced insanely. - I'M FREEEE!!! FREE FROM COLD-BLOODED TORTURE AND DEATH PENALTY!!!! I'M FREEEEEEEE!!!!!
Second, Genius Lincoln was fatally wounded by the explosion, and was ready to meet his demise.
- This is what being a genius leads to… - he coughed out. - The cruelest death imaginable… And I'm not even talking about cancer, or AIDS, or Type-2 diabetes…
- Any last words… "Genius"? - Lincoln approached him, pointing a gun at his head.
- You haven't seen the last of me…
- Alright, bye then. - and our Lincoln shot him. - There was nothing really useful inside of his head anyway.
And third… Lisa was crying. It's the first time she cried in a lifetime. Four years of being completely emotionless (save for occasional bursts of anger)... And there she was, on the ground, sobbing for what seemed to be an eternity.
- Stop weeping already, we've defeated the villain, get up and let's go home. - Lincoln sternly said to Lisa, but she didn't respond.
- All these years I thought I was a genius, the smartest person in the entire world who could change it for the better of all mankind… - Lisa spoke out. - But after what you just said to me, I finally realized… I'm a nobody. And I should stay nobody. I'm a loser… I just had to accept it, but nothing came out of it…
- Uh, okay… So, can we go home now? - Lincoln said, a bit confused.
- There's one left. I let them all go, I thought nothing would happen… And they… T-they… I caused a multiversal holocaust, and for what? Just to appease my selfishness?! Why did He make me this way?!
- Oh, for fuck's sake, it just can't be that easy, huh? - Lincoln clenched his teeth. - Come on, let's go, we have to end this.
- W-Wait! It's fine, we-
- Off we go, "genius". - he grabbed her and threw her into the portal with all her force, before jumping in himself…
