What a life, Mordenna bitterly mused, to have to deal with me.
That was Mordenna's main train of thought as he stalked down the halls of the Avenger, distraction field wound around him. Firstly he had to go and think he could actually try to hang out with his brother without his own shitty deeds catching up to him, then he had to go and lower the mood like a true killjoy. It seemed as if he was destined to dampen things, to either deliver cutting words or depressing tales. Yesterday was garbage.
Some part of him blamed Jax; something he was trying to move past at the moment. Jax had just been curious, and it was a valid thing to be curious about. It wasn't like he asked just to call to that emptiness inside Mordenna around just who he used to be. You were the one who asked if he knew who you were. That, he might just strategically forget in order to feel just a tiny bit better about the whole ordeal.
David. David Tomko. No matter how many times he said it in his head, Mordenna felt only a haunting familiarity about the name. It was nothing like regaining memories from Severance Effect—proof that Odin had well and truly erased his past life. But even if he wouldn't properly remember... Mordenna still wanted to know. There was a whole other person he used to be, and now that person was just gone. Turned into him. Who was he?
He rounded a corner, feet guiding him to his destination. He'd be talking to himself, but didn't want to garner attention as he made his way to the Infirmary. Clint... he had to know something. Mordenna reasoned that you didn't just invade a Chosen's mind like that and not come away with something. Maybe Clint had gotten a few glimpses, maybe Clint knew even more. Maybe he didn't get anything, a cynical part of his mind went, and he shook his head. He had to find out. He had to try. Mordenna felt like he'd never know otherwise.
The walk to the Infirmary was uneventful otherwise. Once he was at the door, Mordenna tapped the pad and made his way in. The interior was quiet, and darkened slightly. Only one of the beds was occupied, and it was where Clint lay, arms crossed as he stared pointedly at the ceiling. Bingo. Making sure the door closed behind him, Mordenna dropped his distraction field. When Clint still didn't notice him, he cleared his throat.
That was enough to get the PsiOp to look over at him... and jump, appropriately enough. Clint calmed down quickly, but he still held a hand over his chest. "—when the hell did you get in here?"
"Just now," Mordenna replied. "No joke. Wanted to drop in on you."
Clint squinted at Mordenna for a second, but eventually nodded. The Hunter took it as a sign to approach further, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Only got word recently that you woke up. Honestly, it took you long enough."
Clint scoffed, going back to crossing his arms. "Sam says I damn near killed myself with a stunt like that. But if the Commander asks, well... that's really just the bottom line." He angled his head a bit, looking up at Mordenna as he arrived at the edge of his bed. "—it's probably a good thing that Sammy let me know about your whole allegiance to XCOM before you decided to waltz on in here. Don't know how I would've reacted to seeing you walking about without knowing you're on our side, now."
Mordenna shrugged, hands remaining in his pockets. "I would've dealt with it." Dismissing that as he had, he moved on. He... had to approach the question of this carefully. It felt a little strange to outright ask "do you have any memories that aren't yours, now?" "Must've woken up with a ripper of a headache. God knows I did."
"Yeah..." Clint rubbed his forehead. "Groggy with a migraine is the worst kind of state to wake up in. That, on top of feeling like I hadn't moved in years. Don't think a man lesser than me could've handled it."
"Yeesh." Half in performed empathy, half in genuine empathy. The state Mordenna had woken up in made him want to fall right back asleep—even if it meant he'd have to deal with all the psionic nightmare stuff again. "I feel you. Wouldn't be surprised if anything else happened to you with a stunt like that. Psionic soreness, for one, apparently that's a thing."
"Trust me, I am not touching my psionics anytime soon. I think about using them and I feel like falling down a staircase." Clint gently shook his head. "I'm never doing that again. Judging off of what Sam told me, I won't need to, at least." Clint then muttered something along the lines of "I didn't sign up for the identity crisis, either."
Bingo. Mordenna snapped up his chance. "Identity crisis? Why, Clint, that sounds like something you should talk about."
Clint seemed to realize what he did, as he locked eyes with Mordenna. It looked like he was judging if he even wanted to share what he knew... but, faced down by the Hunter? Mordenna supposed he realized he didn't have much of a choice. Sighing, Clint rubbed the back of his head. "Really, I already did with Samhien, but... since you're related, I guess you get to know. I... think I ended up with some of your memories, Hunter. Mostly when you were a Reaper. You remember those, right?"
"No," Mordenna stated plainly, "I don't. Does the name 'Odin' mean anything to you?" At Clint's telltale grimace, Mordenna's mouth settled into a line. "Yeah. He's why. Bastard decided I shouldn't keep anything from back then."
"... I don't know Odin so much as the name just makes me... angry. Frustrated. Disgusted. All those kinds of things."
"Join the club, buddy." Now. Clint had his memories. In his pockets, Mordenna's hands fidgeted. He had to know. "... what all did you get?"
The PsiOp narrowed his eyes, going quiet for a second. "Mostly, kind of innocuous stuff. Hunting, trading with Havens, a party or two with Reapers. And..." He paused. "Something that is likely you getting carted off by the Warlock, the more I think on it. It's kind of brief."
That was it? Then again, what was Mordenna looking for? Some defining memory that would tell him who he was? At the very least, he seemed good enough to join in the Reaper parties. Mordenna leaned forwards. "What were the parties like?"
"If I didn't know any better," Clint began, "I'd call them more revelries than anything else. Big, pretty wild, lots of cooked meat and alcohol. The meat... could be better but when your choices are birds, rabbits, or aliens, there isn't much to go around. I... feel like there's a certain way you can cook Sectoid to make it taste better?"
"Like venison."
"Yeah. Like that. Not much there, either, but..."
"But?"
Clint crossed his arms again, rubbing them. "I don't know much else there. Some faces I'd recognize if I saw them again. I think... one of them might've been Outrider?"
"Fair enough. What were the hunting trips like? The trades with the havens? I'm chomping at the bit here to know."
He grimaced, looking away. "Quiet. Lots of snow. Probably was farther up north."
"Anything that might tell you how far up north? Kinds of trees, animal variety, anything—"
"No. I don't know." Clint stiffened as he said that, still not looking at Mordenna. "Unsurprisingly, I don't like living memories that aren't mine, Hunter. I don't want to think on them or else I'll get lost in them. I don't want to lose what I have trying to recount things that never happened to me."
At that, Mordenna's gut twisted. One of his few windows into his past life, and he didn't even want to talk about it? "Listen here—"
Clint winced. Mordenna paused. A small, calm voice that had grown louder in recent weeks was chiding him. If he doesn't want to relive it and risk losing his own memories, then don't press him. You know what it's like to lose yourself. Do you want to subject him to that?
Straightening, Mordenna sighed and looked away, voice going softer. "Listen here. I'm... bummed out by that. But. I understand. I won't ask about it. Just..." He wanted to explain himself. "Does it matter?" Jax's words rang in his head. No. No, it really doesn't. "Nah. I won't ask, plain and simple. Sorry for grilling you."
It was a moment of silence between the two of them, but eventually Clint spoke up. "... thanks, Mordenna. I'm sorry I can't tell you. I just don't want to lose what I know."
"I understand, totally." The frustration of not being able to explain himself met with the melancholy of that statement in his gut, and he slumped. "Hold on to what you can. I'll leave you to—"
Suddenly, the door to the Infirmary slid open. Mordenna immediately shot up straight again, looking towards the door. Maria was just beyond it, ducking under the doorframe and hurriedly making her way in.
In her arms was Eliza, unmoving, with a trail of blood from her nose.
The bottom of Mordenna's stomach dropped out and he could feel his center of balance lurch. For a few seconds, all he could do was watch numbly as Maria set the Commander down on one of the beds, kneeling beside her and extending her psionics. Mystics filtered in after she had entered, gathering around the Commander and wordlessly lending their powers.
Mordenna's fingers began to shake. What happened? A stroke, at Eliza's fitness and age? It wasn't exactly impossible, but the mere sight of Eliza unconscious was making Mordenna's mind run faster and faster. His eyes hyper-focused on her head. She was absolutely bathed in her own psionics when it had taken him looking closely to even get glimpses of them before. But even then, amongst the glow of light blue... there were wisps of reddish-pink psionics.
Jax. Jax had a hand in this. Did Jax try to do something to her? His gut twisted as he could feel himself jumping to conclusions. Did Jax try to overload her and then chicken out, summoning his little servants to undo the damage? Did they intervene in time? Whatever the case, there was a cold fact staring Mordenna in the face; Jax was undoubtedly the cause of this.
He felt his lips move. "Where is he." Mordenna's voice was deathly quiet.
One of the Mystics—Iris—looked up. "Did you say something, Hunter—"
"Where. Is. He?" Mordenna repeated, leveling a gaze of cold spite at her.
Iris might've been one of Jax's oldest and bravest Mystics, but even she cowered under the force of the stare Mordenna was drilling her with. "It... it was an accident—"
"I didn't ask what happened." There was a vitriol entering his voice, and more Mystics were looking up. In his vision, he could see Odette trembling worst of all. The sight sent a needle into his side, but the guilt was easily silenced by the wave of venom rising up within him. Jax hurt something close to him, something that was his that he could call genuinely good. He will pay in blood, as you have always meant him to. "Where's Jax."
There was silence amongst the Mystics, none of them wanting to be the first that spoke up to doom Jax to his brother's resentment. The situation was enough to make Maria look up from her work. Though her gaze wavered a bit under Mordenna's, she largely matched it. "Hunter Mordenna. What happened here was an accident in training and I will not—"
"The GTS."
The eyes of the Mystics went to Odette, who was hugging one of her sisters. She'd likely spoken up just to get Mordenna out of the room and no longer torturing her and her own, whatever was going to happen to Jax be damned. It was an utterance of fear and terror.
Good in Mordenna's book. Silently, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room, barely waiting for the door to open before he funneled out like a wraith.
Hitching his distraction field up, Mordenna's thoughts were a violent storm of poison and rage. One day. Jax had been on the Avenger for not even a total of one day and he had already gone and hurt Eliza. No, he was no stranger to hurting the Commander. But Jax apparently couldn't even wait to leave a mark. If Mordenna didn't know any better, he'd say that Jax had it out for Eliza. He couldn't let this lie—Jax had to learn eventually. Make him learn. Show him what kind of fool he is. Teach him his lesson and engrave it into his mind.
Almost punching the panel, Mordenna made it to the GTS, striding inside. Sure enough, Jax was standing with two of his Mystics with him, undoubtedly telling him it wasn't his fault and oh, the Commander will understand. He hurt her. He hurt her. Blood for blood. He would get in his verbal lashings first before going for the eyes.
Mordenna dropped his cloak, icy gaze meeting Jax's surprised one. "What. The hell. Is wrong with you." Jax opened his mouth to speak but Mordenna wouldn't have it. "No, don't even answer that. I think I can make a pretty good guess. You never dropped the grudge, did you? Here I am, busting my back and literally bleeding to be a better sibling over here, and here you are, lecturing me on damaging one of my own and then turning around and flat out hospitalizing the Commander. Where do you get off? I remember you saying exactly that I 'wouldn't be satisfied until the Earth is a smoldering wreckage around me.' Did you feel like that was some sort of challenge to yourself? Did you have to go and see what would cause me to not stop until everything's salted and burned? Let me tell you—messing with Eliza is one. Good. Way. To do it."
Jax seemed at an utter loss for words, hands gripping the twin Mystics' arms. One of them—Demeter— was shaking, but mounted a defense. "Y-you th-think to t-try and lecture the—"
"Shut your fucking mouth," he spat, making Demeter hide behind Jax. "The adults are talking." With that, he turned his attention back to Jax. "You never stopped wanting to depose me, didn't you? I thought I was one to hold a grudge, but here you are, doing your merry best to push me over the edge and show you just what it's like to get beat within an inch of your last life. I shouldn't even let you fucking explain yourself. God knows whatever you say won't matter. But, y'know, I feel like hearing a joke." He motioned to Jax, his dagger-like gaze never dropping. "Go on. What do you have to say for yourself?"
In the wake of all that Mordenna had said, he fully expected Jax to not even say anything, or get on him about lashing out at Demeter. He certainly didn't factor that Jax was going to take a deep breath, level a calm gaze at him, and say what he did next. "She was Odette."
Mordenna full on blinked, mind halting for a second before he could only ask; "What?"
"She was Odette." Jax balled his fists, as if pushing himself to continue. "I harmed Eliza without intending to do so, and it may seem like an act of genuine malice on the surface—but, like you dropping Odette off at my abode so her life may be spared... I called for the psions of the ship, to come and aid her. I..." He deflated. "I understand now, brother. I know why you wanted to explain yourself. I never wished to hurt Eliza, like you never wished to truly hurt Odette. I'm... I'm sorry. I should have let you explain yourself."
A thousand responses rose to Mordenna's tongue at that. Oh, that's rich, you think you can make things better now? You think you can go all "woe is me, I understand how you feel?" But, just a look at Jax certainly made Mordenna feel like he was being genuine. Plus, a fact from earlier caught up to him—when they were waiting to get into Jax's room, Mordenna and Fal-Mai both had to suffer the echoes of one of his episodes. Granted, they recovered in time... but that was Eliza, in there, no doubt comforting him. Jax had probably grown attached to someone who would bear him at a time like that. To try and get at Mordenna by hurting one of his own pillars of support? The more Mordenna thought on it, the more backwards it seemed.
Mordenna's gaze flickered between the two cowering Mystics and Jax. A few realizations caught up with him and he could feel the heat he had been so vehemently projecting back off. He slowly crossed his arms, eyes boring into Jax. "... what happened?" He asked, voice at a neutral calm.
Jax swallowed. "We... had both agreed upon psionic training for her powers. After she was done with one of her exercises, we settled down, and one of my first courses of action was to draw out her psionics. But, I..." Jax looked to the side, self-doubt written all over his face. "I should have known her psionics were far stronger than they seemed. I lifted the veil and... she overloaded herself. It took myself, my Mystics, Maria, Marlene, and two of the PsiOps in order to calm her."
"And she agreed to this."
His brother nodded. Mordenna looked over the three people in front of him once more before he could feel most of his anger peel away. What replaced it was a stinging feeling about what he'd done, what he'd said to Jax's Mystics. Never could treat those little ladies right, could you? Mordenna sighed, turning to the side. He really had a bad temper, didn't he? He just couldn't help it that the sight of Eliza, unconscious and clearly harmed, sent him into an anger and fear-fuelled state. Jax just happened to be the unlucky party on the other end of it.
Mordenna gestured vaguely at Jax. "... I. I might have... assumed the worst. Can you blame me, when I see Maria practically tossing her on a bed in the Infirmary? I don't—I don't want to lose her, Jax."
Jax gave his own sigh, and Mordenna could see in the corner of his eye that his hands moved to comfort his Mystics. "I as well, Mordenna. It... pains me greatly that even accidentally, I caused harm unto her. I understand if you cannot forgive me for inflicting that on her."
Mordenna was quiet for a moment at that. The part of him that made him march in and hurl abuse Jax's way made him want to say that he certainly wouldn't, and at least Jax had the common sense to assume so. Now that Mordenna knew the situation and could see the similarities... the urge was much less tempting. Feeling his body ease up on the tensed posture he'd assumed, he figured he could ask Jax a question. "Could you forgive me for shooting Odette?"
"... if I knew the reason. I did not let you explain before. If you would even feel like you wish to now, I would be happy to hear it."
Mordenna looked back to Jax. "It was one of those days. The day started, the old man called me in... and he didn't even lay a finger on me." He looked away as the memory came to mind. "He just told me how 'faulty a system' I was. How he, even in his divine fuckin' knowledge, didn't know where he went wrong with me. He raked me over the coals and didn't even have to break out the belt." Mordenna wouldn't hesitate to say he didn't consider Odin his father, at all. But, as much as he was dying to say it... the worthlessness that clogged his system when he left that hall told a different story. Not a father in name... but Mordenna had damn well imprinted on him, that first year. "So I thought I'd cheer myself up by working. Had my hands on a gun I'd built wrong on purpose and was going to mess with it when..." He trailed off for a second, but knew he had to continue. "When Odette came in at a bad time. I didn't even think. Just pointed at her and shot. She sure as hell didn't deserve it. But when you're dealing with someone like me..." Mordenna's voice dropped. "You know the rest. I dropped her off at your place because I didn't want her dying. Then I turned that gun on myself and made damn well sure it hit the mark."
Back in the day, when death was meaningless and Mordenna had an endless number of lives to play with... suicide was a form of release. He'd die, a proxy Odin would handle his reformation, and Mordenna would be released back into his Inner Sanctum with a cleaner slate, his head set back to normal. He was still embarrassed at himself for taking "the easy way out" every time and that stopped him for a bit, but... On a scale of what caused his deaths, XCOM was second. He was the first.
He could feel Jax's gaze burning into him. The silence was broken by footsteps, and Mordenna tensed ever so slightly. Was he expecting Jax to strike him? Was some part of his explanation even more infuriating than not knowing at all?
Mordenna would be ashamed to admit that he jumped a fair bit when Jax's hand came down on his shoulder. The feeling of touch, even though fabric, spurred him to look Jax in the eye. Jax's face was soft, his posture relaxed. "Hearing your explanation now, it is even more of a sin of mine to have barred you from telling your side of the story properly. I forgive you, brother. So long as you work to make amends with Odette, you will find no quarrel from me on this matter."
On this matter, his cynical side bit, and he hushed it. Jax forgave him. That was about the only important part here. Letting some of his tension go, Mordenna nodded. "... then I forgive you too, bro. Now that I know the situation, I'm happy to drop my grievances. Just... sorry that it took me biting your head off to realize it."
Jax shook his head. "What matters is that the understanding was reached, and that I properly apologized for never letting you shed light on your situation. It... it took Eliza imparting some knowledge unto me before our training session to realize what I had done to you."
Mordenna could feel himself loosen up more metaphorically than physically. "You taking advice from Eliza, too? Good on you."
"Of course. She is a woman of wisdom, despite our former differences. Now... are your questions settled?"
"Yeah. I'll... go see to Eliza. And go say some more apologies." Mordenna moved to leave, but his brother's grip on his shoulder remained.
Jax raised an eyebrow. "Are you to imply that you do not owe further apologies in this room, brother?"
Ah. Right. Some of the Mystics he'd intimidated were in here, too. Mordenna looked to Hestia and Demeter and had the decency to look somewhat sheepish. "Yeah... you're right. Hes, Demi... I'm sorry for both yelling at Jax and at the both of you." He blew some air out his nose. "And for cursing at you in particular, Demeter."
The twins seemed to mull over his words a bit. It was Hestia who nodded first. "Understanding your situation as I do now, I can understand that your words were from a place of misunderstanding and protectiveness. I forgive you, Hunter Mordenna."
He looked to Demeter. She still looked unsure, and looked to Jax. "Holy Father?"
Jax turned back to look at her. "Yes, Mystic Demeter?"
"May... may I slap him?"
Both Chosen's eyebrows raised, and they exchanged a look. With a silent question asked, Mordenna shrugged. "Hell. I deserve it. I'd say she can."
With a knowing grin, Jax let go of his shoulder. Walking over to Demeter, Mordenna crouched down and presented his face, closing his eyes. He'd let her have the shot without his own body trying to react on what his eyes were seeing. God knows she deserved this, too.
The ensuing slap certainly stung, but it was clear that Demeter was still silently baffled that she got this chance in the first place. Rubbing his cheek for good measure, Mordenna opened his eyes and stood up. "Got your shot in?"
"Yes," Demeter breathed, and it didn't take an expert to say that she was caught somewhere between a rare thrill and the anxiety that came from striking a Chosen. "L-let it be known that I am the first Mystic to strike a Chosen."
Mordenna gave an impressed whistle, smirking. "I'll have to write that one down somewhere. 'Mystic Demeter: Smiter of Chosen.' It'll be great, I tell you."
That was enough to send an orange blush to her face, and she huddled next to Hestia. "Y-you don't have to do that, Hunter Mordenna." It then seemed to occur to her why she slapped him in the first place, and she swallowed. "... I forgive you, by the way. I just... had to get that out of my system."
He shrugged. "Totally valid. Now." He turned to Jax. "Since you kept me here, it gave me an idea. Could you..." He sighed, realizing what he was doing. Relying on your brother? Odin would flay you alive. He'd better. Mordenna resolved to try and go against what Odin ingrained into him. The notion that his siblings were constantly against him was a good place to start. "Could you come with me and, like, I don't know, put in a good word as I try to say sorry without Maria kicking my ass?"
There was some part of it that didn't seem to sit well with Jax, but eventually he nodded. "I... will see what I can do. You must understand if I am hesitant to even reveal my face around Eliza after what I have done to her."
Mordenna could feel that. If Eliza hadn't literally jumped after him on the roof and he'd somehow survived, he wouldn't want to make her suffer him, either. "She was still unconscious when I was in there. Think she'll be out for a while—you just gotta stay until I've gotten my apologies in."
"That much, I would be glad to help you with." Jax gestured to the side. "To the Infirmary?"
"To the Infirmary. I'll lead the way, just in case Eliza has woken up from her little nap." After he said that, Mordenna headed towards the door, opening it up for him and his brother, making sure everyone was through before starting to walk forwards. This would certainly be a difficult situation to approach. He silently prayed to whoever would listen that Eliza was still asleep in there, so he didn't have to make his apology and also admit to her that he'd lost his temper again. Perhaps he could also try to work on that.
The only sound that occupied him as they walked was the lighter-than-he'd-assumed step of Jax behind him and his Mystics with him. He sure as hell hoped Jax's presence would help. Mordenna wanted to clear things up to the point that he could stay in the room with Eliza until she woke up. Yes, he'd gotten over the fact that Jax had done it, but that still left his concerns for Eliza and her health. Would she be ok on waking up? Would a surge like that have done lasting damage? Granted, Maria was there and healing her, but...
Look at you. Oh, great, here came the self-interrogation. Wanting to hang around her until she wakes up like some sort of lost puppy. You've really fallen head-over-heels for her, and let's face it—you wouldn't have gone off at Jax nearly as much if you didn't go and catch feelings for her. Is this what you're stooping to? Falling in love with the Commander because she showed you some decency?
"Maybe that's the case," he muttered despite himself, keeping his voice low, "but at least she's the best out of all possible options—and that's saying something."
"Did you say something, brother?" Mordenna didn't want to let Jax in on his thought process, but didn't want to blow him off, either. He wanted his good graces for what was about to come, after all.
Mordenna sighed. "—What's your take on the Commander? Brother-to-brother, among Chosen."
There was a bit of quiet, seemingly as Jax picked his words. When he responded, Jax took his time speaking. "I consider the Commander a worthy figure to follow, even if I am still questioning some of my own decisions. She has proven herself to possess a compassion I have not seen outside of my Matriarch thus far, and it is certainly apparent how she has managed to fend off the Elders for this long. Her attention to personal care is... also admirable."
Ooh. Interesting inflection on that last comment out of Jax. For want of anything else to focus on, Mordenna's mind latched onto that. The only "personal care" Jax could be talking about that Mordenna could fathom would be physical fitness—and considering they were both in the GTS, that could only mean one thing; Jax had stumbled upon Eliza's workout session. Mordenna had seen them himself... and begrudgingly, he had to agree with his brother. But, that wasn't the point, here. Jax was admiring Eliza, and like any good brother, he had to give him hell. Well, if you're going to catch feelings for her, it seems you have competition. Right... that made a bit of Mordenna's competitiveness rise up, but whatever. He was going to rib Jax anyway.
Knowing the way behind him, Mordenna moved to walk backwards, flashing a grin at Jax. "Her personal care is 'admirable,' huh bro? Tell me, was it a good look at her biceps you caught? Or did you get distracted by her trapezius? Here I thought it was beyond you to ogle a woman, Jax. Tut, tut."
He'd hit right on the mark—Jax looked indignant, and Mordenna's eyes could spot the ever-so-slight beginnings of a blush. "Th-there is no shame in the admiration of someone who keeps themselves physically maintained! Least of all someone who does not make appearances on the battlefield, herself. I take inspiration from her dedication to her physique."
Maybe, maybe he should go easy on him. Jax was just too fun to torture when Mordenna hit upon something like this. With the knowledge that Jax was his backup against the scorned Mystics, Mordenna let up with a snicker. "Alright, bro. Whatever you say." He turned back towards the direction he was walking in.
A little bit later, they were at their destination. Mordenna came to a stop in front of the door, eyeing it cautiously. He knew he said that he'd be the one to enter first, just in case the Commander had woken up in the time it had taken him to tear his brother's head off, but... The Chosen Hunter? Nervous? This whole XCOM gig really has fucked you up. Setting his shoulders and determined to prove himself wrong, he tapped the pad, looking in.
Things were about as quiet as they were before. The Mystics were gathered around, trying to give Maria space as she stood next to the Commander's bed. Clint himself was turned away from the door, probably trying to catch some sleep. As Mordenna scanned, Maria lifted her head, and her face twisted. "Dare you believe," she began, voice hot but at a measured volume, "that you can come back without incident—"
"Maria." Seeing that the coast was clear, Jax stepped in behind Mordenna. "He has made his peace. His actions were born of fear and worry for the Commander, and we have explained ourselves and settled our differences." Jax then looked pointedly at him. "He still has his own apologies to deliver here, but he is intent on delivering them."
"Yeah," Mordenna quickly followed up, "what Jax said. I... really was kind of a dick, here earlier. And hey, apologizing seems to be in, this season." When he didn't get much of a response out of his half-joke, Mordenna gestured vaguely and continued. "So, right... Girls? Maria?" His eyes wandered to Odette, and his face fell. "Odette. I'm sorry. Really sorry. As it turns out, you girls are to thank for getting the Commander here safe and sound, and I... I really was ungrateful enough to intimidate the lot of you, wasn't I? Certainly wasn't conducive of me."
He watched as they all regarded him a moment, then turned to discuss amongst themselves. Mordenna could catch a snippet or two—"he seems genuine," "the Holy Father stands with him," "but his duplicity is well known," "but would the Hunter of old ever apologize?" Overall, it inspired a bit of confidence. They seemed more on the side of forgiving him than not.
Maria looked amongst her sisters, to the sleeping form of the Commander, and then back to the Hunter. She cleared her throat, causing the discussion amongst the Mystics to stop. She leveled a calm gaze at him as she spoke. "I would be willing to forgive you, Hunter Mordenna... provided you either allow me to tell the Commander what transpired when she awakes... or you do it yourself. This is not something I wish to have swept under the rug."
Alright. That was a lot better than the other outcomes he'd briefly calculated. Still, the notion of telling Eliza what exactly he'd done didn't sound like a prospect he'd jump at... but better he tell her than Maria did it, in his mind. He nodded. "I'll do it myself when she wakes up. She needs to hear it, anyway."
Looking a touch surprised, but not by much, Maria relaxed. "Then I forgive you, Mordenna. Sisters?" The current congregation nodded. Mordenna almost wanted to breathe a sigh of relief.
Instead of doing that, he clasped his hands together in front of him. "Good to hear, good to hear. Would you mind me hanging around? I'd like to let Eliza know as soon as possible." That was one reason, at least, and the only reason he was fine with telling them. He'd tease Jax over his attraction to Eliza, but no word on his own.
Maria shook her head. "I find it well that you wish to remain. Simply allow me my space to monitor her."
"Splendid!" With that, he turned back to Jax, who was looking upon the Commander's sleeping form with hesitance. "Bro?" That seemed to snap him out of it, and Jax looked to Mordenna. "You gonna hang around, or?"
Jax shook his head rather quickly. "I—I have... other things, to attend to. The clearing out of my own personal space, for one—and on the topic of space, I need not further crowd the Infirmary with my presence. No doubt, the rest of my followers will wish to see me, and that could greatly bloat this room's numbers. I will abstain, for now."
That definitely didn't sound like Jax's main reasons for not staying... but then again, Mordenna knew exactly why he didn't want to stick around. Maybe he needed this space. Mordenna inclined his head towards his brother. "Alright. I'll have someone let you know when she's awake and kicking. If you see Fal-Mai, tell her what's going on, yeah?"
He nodded. "I will if she appears in front of me... but knowing our sister and her abilities, I would not be surprised if she was in this very room, ensuring the Commander's safe awakening as well." A poignant silence followed. If Fal-Mai was there, she wasn't making herself known. When it was clear she wasn't going to show, Jax turned towards the door. He caught what looked like a flash of pain on Jax's face, but he hid it well. Must've been a lot of psionics he used, getting Eliza under. He was probably feeling a migraine coming on. "But I digress. Farewell, brother. Keep watch over the Commander."
"Don't gotta tell me twice." With that, Mordenna watched Jax leave, and after a moment of hesitation, the tailor twins filtered out after him, as well. Mordenna took the chance to find an open spot on one of the beds near Eliza and occupy it himself. He sat on it cross-legged, keeping his eyes trained on the Commander's sleeping face.
Truth be told, she looked kind of... tense. Her eyelids were pushed together a little bit more than normal, and Mordenna's sight could pick out her eyebrows straining. Well, Mordenna could related. When he got psionically knocked out, he didn't exactly have the best of dreams, either. He could understand why the Commander might be feeling a bit under the weather at the moment. Still, he'd keep watch for any changes.
Something occurred to him, and he focused on Maria out of the corner of his eye. "Did you let either of the medics know about this? This strikes me as the type of thing they'd like to know about." Or Bradford, for that matter. Man, either Jax, Eliza, or both of them were in for it when she woke up, if he knew the man well at all.
Maria shook her head. "Unfortunately, not yet."
"There's an emergency button on the beds."
He watched as Maria looked over to Clint, who had just spoken. Bending over, Maria sought it out before Mordenna could hear something click, and the pad next to the bed lit up with a confirmation notice regarding the message. "Well," he added, "they know now, at least." At least, they knew to come in. Shouldn't be too long.
Eliza's face tensed further. Mordenna was still intently observing her, waiting for any moment that he might have to do... something. He didn't quite know what. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it, he resolved. He... kind of wished he could be closer to her. Oh, what, you want to lay down next to her and tell her everything's going to be alright? Well, actually, that didn't sound half bad, so long as he could vacate everyone from the room. You're pathetic. That was an established fact. Would his brain do anything else with it, was the question.
He kept watching. At some point, Maria turned away to talk with one of the Mystics. He was the only one with eyes on Eliza at the moment. But, hell, he could deal with that. He'd waited hours in place on hunts before. This was practically nothing. Not like much was distracting him or anything was out to get him, after all.
Eliza's eyes shot open. Well, good morning, sleepyhead, Mordenna wanted to quip... but there was something wrong. Eliza's eyes were wide open and she wasn't moving a muscle. Mordenna saw her eyes flicker over to him, and then distinctly focus on something just above her chest. Gears in his head were turning. This had to be some sort of condition, he could swear he'd seen something on it before. If she were properly awake, she'd be moving around and talking, right?
He got off the bed, walking over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Lizzie?"
All at once, whatever spell she was under seemed to break. Her hands flew to his and she squeezed them, taking in a gasping breath. It was enough to draw the attention of the rest of the room, and soon the Mystics were turned towards her—keeping at a distance as to not crowd her, of course. Eliza's grip on his hand was far too tight to still be out of the shock of waking up, and she was rapidly sitting up in the bed.
Maria leaned over. "Commander, are you—"
"Out."
Eliza's expression was unreadable. She turned her head away from the gathered crowd and towards Mordenna, but didn't meet his eyes. The grip on his hand was shaking. She was clearly in some form of distress—and when the Mystics stalled, he picked up the slack. "You heard the Commander. Give her some space. One of you, draw the curtain around Clint. I'll leave after—"
He didn't think it possible, but the grip around his hand got even tighter. "Don't," she whispered under her breath. "Please."
"—Ok," he said after a brief pause. "Everyone else out."
After that, the group complied pretty quick. Apparently sensing the need for privacy, Maria drew the curtain around the Commander's bed first. Over the sounds of shuffling footsteps and mildly muted conversation, he could hear the other curtain being drawn as well. All the while, Eliza was steadily shaking more and more. Mordenna's full attention went to her, and he didn't bother to check if everyone else was out yet. He lowered his voice, crouching beside her. "Eliza. Is everything alright?"
Shallowly, Eliza shook her head, taking shuddering breaths in and out. "I—where—wh-where am I?"
"The Infirmary." Eliza looked like she was in a real bad way. Mordenna added his other hand to the back of hers. "What's going on?"
With his other hand added, she moved hers so she was grabbing his. "Wh-what year is it."
He blinked, and suddenly recognition fell upon him. Eliza's PTSD. Something about the whole ordeal must've tripped a part of it. With that in mind, Mordenna drew closer, doing his best to sound comforting. "It's 2035. You're on the Avenger. Jax accidentally overloaded you and Maria brought you back to the Infirmary to heal you. That's where you are, nowhere else."
Seeming to process that fact, Eliza was silent for a moment—as silent as labored breathing gets. Then, she rested her forehead on their hands, closing her eyes. "I... I can't believe I'm... this weak." There were glistening patches under her eyes. "T-twenty years and I just... I can't..." Eliza's voice was breaking up, and it didn't take Mordenna long to see what exactly those patches were as they developed into tear tracks.
Overcome by a burning in his chest and a need to comfort Eliza, Mordenna went ahead and capitalized on the idea he had earlier, sitting on the bed and moving to hug Eliza. "Hey. I... I don't know what's going on, frankly, but I can tell you you're not weak. Wouldn't have made it this far if you were."
Eliza readily hugged him back, arms squeezing him as she tried to speak through suppressed sobs. "Twenty years. I-I can't get over something... something that happened twenty years ago."
"That's the thing about memories," Mordenna muttered right back, "If you don't handle them, well, they'll kick your ass. You ever do any talking of your own about what ails you?"
"I... I shouldn't have to." She further buried her head into his chest. "I should be able to sh-shoulder this. Not—not break down and cry."
"Is this the Eliza that picked up the Chosen because she knew what we'd been through?" His hand gently sought for her face, turning her head to face him. The movement came so naturally he didn't even realize how intimate it was. "Is this the Eliza who came running and jumped over the edge of the Avenger after a Hunter? Is this the Liz who told me it was ok to get upset about things that happened long ago? Liz, Liz, Liz..." His expression softened. "You don't practice what you preach, do you?"
That was too much for Eliza, who sunk her face back into him again. "—no. I-I don't. I—" she hiccupped, "—I should be strong for everyone else."
"And where does that leave you at the end of the day, Lizbeth? Who cares for the watchdog?" Mordenna could hardly believe the situation he was in right now. If anything, it should be him breaking down against Eliza... but wasn't that the exact thinking that perpetuated Eliza's stance on going for help? "... not even Bradford?"
"G-god knows how he'd worry..."
"I'll bet you my left eye he worries anyway, Lizzie."
Over their conversation, he could hear the sound of the door opening, and two sets of footsteps walking in. "Eliza?" Speak of the devil—that was Bradford. Eliza tensed in his arms.
"He can't—"
"Eliza. You've got to let him know. You let me know. The Chosen Hunter." Even as he was saying that, he didn't want to give Eliza up. He didn't want to pass her onto Bradford and simply have to watch as she poured out her heart and soul to him instead of Mordenna. That feeling was what spurred on his next statement. "—I don't have to leave. But you can't send him away forever."
Eliza was quiet. Her frantic grip on him had waned, but she was still hugging him securely, her shoulders occasionally jerking in suppressed sobs. Eventually, she spoke, and at a louder volume than their conversation. "I-I'm here, John."
The footsteps approached their position, and when the curtain was thrown back, Sammy and Bradford were revealed. They both looked rather surprised at the kind of embrace he and Eliza were in, but Bradford wasn't stopped for long. He rushed over to the side of the bed that Mordenna wasn't on, a hand reaching over and seeking Eliza's shoulder. "Liz. Are you alright?"
Eliza shuddered. "I—M-Mordenna, could you please..."
He nodded, looking to Bradford. "Jax started a psionics training session with her. He'd underestimated what she had under the hood and she overloaded herself. He got the Mystics and a PsiOp or two to help him put her to sleep, and when she woke up, she... wasn't in the best of states."
Sammy walked behind Mordenna to the pad, running through a few menus. His statement was quiet. "... they put her down on her back, didn't they."
Both Bradford and Mordenna shared a look before Mordenna could feel Eliza nodding against him. Bradford looked to her, concern written into all of his features. "Liz... why didn't you say anything? All those lost nights of sleep."
She took a deep breath, withdrawing one of her arms and putting it against Mordenna's front—a quiet sign to break off the hug. Complying, Mordenna watched as she moved to Bradford, resuming the embrace on him as he pulled her close. So. It ended up happening anyway. Woe is you. Woe is him indeed—Eliza was her own person, and god knows Bradford had a vested interest in her, too. He wouldn't get in the way of this.
He caught Bradford's gaze and motioned to the curtain. "Should I..."
Bradford looked down to Eliza, then back to him. "Just... just for a little bit. I want to talk to Eliza privately for a moment. But I'm not blind to what you've done, Mordenna. Just... give me a moment."
Mordenna nodded, sliding off the bed. "I'll be outside." With that, he pushed the curtain aside, returning it as he took a moment to reflect. Eliza... he wouldn't have really guessed that something like that was going on for her. Yes. Tygan mentioned PTSD. But hearing it and seeing it were entirely different things. The new revelation almost gave him a headache.
... well, actually. As he was walking out, Mordenna could feel the familiar ghost of a headache coming on. Ouch. Jax must've been really feeling it. Closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath, he considered his options. Wasn't like there was much he could do about it, and if Maria wasn't directly outside, he was just going to have to endure it. He opened the door of the Infirmary, stepping out.
As luck would have it, the congregation was still out there, minus a member or two. Maria was there as well, looking impatient in a concerned way. He caught her eye, walking over. "Maria."
"Hunter Mordenna. Is everything...?"
"As alright as it gets, for now. She's in good hands." He sighed. He still really, really wanted to be the one in there, and his heart was very busy telling him how it was already craving more close contact from Eliza like that. Not his place, not right now. "But as for Jax... I'm getting that very specific phantom pain that tells me he's wrestling a migraine. You might wanna go, I don't know..."
He trailed off, but it was enough info for Maria. She nodded. "Thank you, Mordenna. I will see to him." With that, the crowd followed after Maria as she set off, presumably knowing where Jax is through sensing his signature.
That left Mordenna, alone in the hallway and to his thoughts. He went over and leaned against the wall outside the door, blankly staring up at the ceiling.
Sad that it's not you in there, holding her as she bawls her eyes out? "Well, yeah. That's not something we're disputing." Oh, poor Mordenna. You know Bradford's got more of a shot in hell than you do. "Hell, he might be better for her than us. God knows he's more stable than we are." That's the truth, at least. Still, isn't it awfully delicious to have to hand her off and accept the fact that you'll never be that kind of confidant for her? "Maybe. Ain't about us, though. It's about her feeling better. If she wanted Bradford, she wanted Bradford. I don't know about you, but I'm more invested in her feeling alright than I am our feelings for her. I don't really see the point you're trying to make. Unless you're trying to degrade Eliza, in which case I'll crawl in there and kill you my damn self." We both know the only way you could do that is to put a bullet in your brain. "Would that even shut you up?" Probably not.
He sighed. "When even did I start this whole 'talking to myself' gig? Can't help but feel like I didn't always do this." Whatever the answer was, he wouldn't know.
The door to the Infirmary opened, and Mordenna stood up from his lean on the wall. It was Sammy who greeted him when he looked to his side. "Hunter Mordenna. You can come back in."
Mordenna nodded, following in after Sammy. The curtains were still closed on either bed, but Mordenna knew which one Eliza was in. Walking over and drawing the curtains aside, he was met by Eliza and Bradford. Eliza was sat up in her bed and looking a lot better for wear, though her eyes were reddened. She looked to Mordenna, nodding. "Mordenna."
"Liz. How's things, now?"
"Better," she replied. Her voice was more steady, too. "I... I want to thank you for being there for me. For getting everyone else out, as well. Maybe I do need to address these memories of mine... but I'm not breaking down in front of that many of my soldiers."
He shrugged. "Understandable. And hey, you were there for me first. Only seems fair."
"Well, I'd like to thank you, too." Bradford said, and Mordenna looked over to him. "I had my reservations about you, as you know. I was worried that you might not be the best influence on Eliza." He rubbed at his stubble. "Clearly, I was wrong. For staying with her as she woke up and apparently fostering enough trust that she'd tell you about her sleep paralysis... thank you. It's... good, to have more people looking after her."
Mildly humbled, Mordenna bobbed his head. "Not like I'd abandon her, Bradford. She deserves more than that."
"Damn right. You hear that, Commander?"
Eliza sighed softly, putting a hand to her head. As relaxed as she'd gotten, her face was still tensed. "Boys. Please. I'm dealing with a headache here and you two aren't helping."
"Ah, yeah. Psionics got you hard, yeah?"
Nodding, Eliza closed her eyes. "Not as bad as the one I had when I first woke up, at least. If I'd known making my psionics stronger involved this, I might've politely declined."
"Well, overuse tends to do that." Mordenna gestured back towards the door. "When Maria's done with Jax's migraine, maybe you could go see her about it. Apparently she's a wiz at those kinds of things."
At the mention of Jax, Eliza's mildly-joking face fell, and she sighed again. "I hope he doesn't think that it's his fault..."
"He, uh." Mordenna rubbed the back of his head. "He does." Don't you have something to tell her? Yeah, he did, he was getting to it. "And... I know this because I might've seen Maria carry you in here and immediately assumed the worst? And kinda... intimidated his Mystics into telling me where he was at and then verbally biting his face off?"
Bradford's face set, and Eliza cast a glance up at him. "... did you apologize?"
"Oh, yeah. To everyone. Jax, honestly, handled me being an asshole to him pretty well. I was kinda surprised. But, uh, part of the deal of the Mystics forgiving me was to tell you what I'd done when you woke up. So... there."
Letting go of an anxious breath, Eliza gave a gentle smile. "I'm glad to hear it, Mords. You handling the situation like that makes me happy."
"If it so pleases the crown, I'll keep doing it." Mordenna returned her smile with a grin. "But, enough about me. Jax probably just needs his space for now, and you... you need to rest, missy. I can't imagine a psionics-induced headache is doing you much good."
"For once, I'm in agreement with the Hunter." Bradford leveled a pointed look at Eliza. "You should stay in the Infirmary. I'll handle your work until you're better."
"Bradford..."
"Don't 'Bradford' me. How're we going to rely on you if you drive yourself into the ground?"
Seems Eliza didn't have a response to that. She took a deep breath, laying back on the bed. "... alright. But once this headache is gone, I'm back to work. Mark my words."
"Words marked," Mordenna shot back, "but you're not getting out of that bed a minute sooner. I'll set Sammy on you, so help me god." Sammy, having otherwise been quiet through the conversation, gave Eliza a genuine smile. Eliza sighed dramatically in response.
"Alright, alright. I'll take five. Just... send someone I can talk to my way, alright?"
"Oh, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie." Mordenna sat on the edge of the bed again, tousling her hair gently, mindful of her headache. "I'm still here, ain't I? Bradford, you can handle her duties. Sammy, you can check on Clint. I'll stay here and keep the poor Commander company."
Bradford crossed his arms and gave Mordenna a convincing stern look, but he relented. "Well, I can't really say no to that. No funny business, and let me know if you need anything."
Eliza nodded at him. "I know. Thank you, John."
"No problem. Get some rest." After that, Bradford walked out.
Sammy tapped one or two more things on the pad, then turned to the two of them. "Commander, please let me know if your headache lasts longer than six hours. There is a sink in the back of the room with drinkable water; keep your exposure to light to a minimum. There is an emergency button on the side of the bed. With that said... please get better soon."
The Commander's smile was warm, and made Mordenna relax. "Of course, Sammy. Take care."
After Sammy left, Mordenna took the chance to lay down in a relaxed recline on the bed. "Oof, this is some comfy stuff. No wonder Clint over there can lay here all day."
Eliza chuckled. "I'm sure he gets up and moves around! You, on the other hand, I'm sure you'd never move if you could."
"Why, Liz!" He pressed a hand to his chest, mock-offended. "How could you ever say such a thing! Me, the Hunter, known for definitely not slacking off on the job when I was with ADVENT!"
The laughter he was able to pull from her seemed to make his phantom headache ease up. She rubbed her head, shaking it. "Oh, don't make me laugh too much, it makes my headache worse."
"Sorry, Commander. I like doing it. But, just this once, I'll let up." His eyes roamed over her for a second before locking with her own. "... are you going to be alright? For real?"
She nodded. "Eventually. Figures that I've still got a few things left to learn."
Mordenna could feel himself smile in a way that he rarely ever, if at all did; genuinely. "I'm glad to hear it. I'll be happy to stay here with you and keep you entertained, and don't you forget that."
With a smile, Eliza patted his side. "Alright then. Entertain me, cowboy."
As he grinned and started in on a conversation topic, in the back of his mind, he could hear that cynical side of him start in on just how much of a hopeless fool he was. But, Mordenna didn't care at the moment. He was with Eliza, and Eliza was enjoying having him around. She was safe, and she wanted him there. There was really only one fact to derive from the whole thing.
He loved her.
