Though he knew he should be focusing on the battle ahead, Jax couldn't help but linger on the fact that most things simply weren't built for the Chosen.
That fact was shown to him clearly as he was slightly hunched over in the Skyranger, hands clasped together in front of him, staring at them. He had to maintain this posture lest the slight shudders of the ship make him bump his head against the ceiling of it. Being deployed into battle like this was miles different than what he was used to—the vast Network and his Sarcophagus were his twin allies in simply teleporting into battles he was required in. But now that he lacked such assets, something more traditional it was.
At least he wasn't alone in his mild discomfort. Jax's eyes rose from his hands to his siblings. Fal-Mai was seated next to him, in a new facemask and somehow making even what should be an awkward position look elegant. Mordenna, however, had even more to contend with—with his Darklance being as long as it was, he had it strewn across his lap and partially angled downwards just to make it fit. When their gazes locked, Mordenna threw him a lopsided smile. "Getting cold feet, bro?"
"Nonsense," he grumbled back. "I am simply remembering a time where I would not need to practically fold myself into a neat cube in order to enter missions."
"What, you telling me you don't like pulling off new and exciting yoga positions in order to fit inside a ship? Honestly I don't see why you're so adverse to it—I sure do love having to sling my girl across my lap and practically put one of my legs to sleep."
That was enough to earn a chuckle from Maria, of whom the sight of brought some ease to Jax. She'd brought her slightly-modified rifle from her time at ADVENT—and although apparently she was suggested a blade, she opted instead to carry a medkit at her hip. Her situation was slightly better than the Chosen's, but even she had to lean over slightly.
Spirits raised somewhat, Jax shook his head. "As appalling as I am sure it sounds, I certainly do not. If it is to your liking... then consider me not so surprised."
Mordenna pressed a hand to his chest in mock shock. "Jax! My god, you wound me. How am I gonna recover from such a cutting remark? Fal-Mai, please, save me."
"What's the matter, Mordenna?" Their sister tilted her head upwards at him. Her voice sounded slightly filtered through her mask. "Are you unable to fight your own battles? Are you trying to goad me into doing something as cowardly as ganging up on our other sibling? Have some shame."
"Shame? Me? In what square mile radius?" He threw up his unoccupied hand. "Jeez, talk about ganging up on Jax, I'm the one getting bullied here. Is anybody else seeing this blatant misjustice going on here?"
"I can certainly hear it," Firebrand chimed in over the speakers, "and as funny as it is, you're going to have to continue it on the ground. Entry point's coming up fast, get ready to drop."
With that, the members of Menace One-Five performed weapon checks around him. Jax himself watched them work, unclipping his safety harness as they did. The thought of the upcoming mission was giving him a small bit of nervousness. Not much; a battle was a battle. He was sure he could handle it. You've been sure you could handle a lot recently, and each time you've been wrong. What does that say here?
He shook his head as the lights in the cabin turned red. Too late to be having worries, even if they tried their best to brew in his gut. Jax could feel the Skyranger move into a hover, and the connections on the hatch disengaged. The back swung open and cords unravelled, though Wiki forewent them in favor of simply teleporting down. Taking inspiration, it was a short trip through the Void later and Jax found himself on the ground, in a snowy forest. The rest of the squad landed in front of him and the Skyranger flew off.
Rising from the crouch he landed in, Mordenna rolled his shoulders, Darklance holstered for now. "Hopefully that masking tech I helped Firebrand out with means we've got a shorter walk. The less time you lot have to step on every branch in the area, the better."
Fal-Mai huffed, the action pushing steam through her mask. "Please. You speak as if I do not walk among you."
"Suffice to say, if I'm talking about sneaking, you're automatically excused from my shittalking." He motioned with his finger in a circle and then pointed it forwards. "Alright. One alien facility in front of us, let's raid it. Company march."
The walk wasn't too long, at least, but it was long enough to make Jax question if he should cover his biceps for cold weather. He was able to stave off the cold via minorly channeling his psionics to keep warm air close to his exposed skin, at least. Still didn't stop things from feeling a little bit more nippy than usual. Some vain part of him balked at the idea of covering them, but he'd rather not get frostbite, honestly.
He figured the walk was starting to come to an end as the forest grew thinner and thinner. Jax hadn't noticed it before, but under the layer of snow, all the plant life was heavily warped. Telltale signs of the Blight—the psionic radiation that mutated flora and fauna—were present everywhere, and it was only getting progressively worse as they drew closer to their destination. Jax had seen Blight as bad as this before, elsewhere. But here, it was... strangely familiar. He dismissed the feeling, keeping his attention forwards.
Fal-Mai was leading the way, with Mordenna just behind her. Wiki and Banel hung around the middle of the group, and Maria was hanging back with him near the rear. He kept his step light as they advanced, eyes scanning the scenery. Though he trusted his siblings to be alert, he kept his own eyes out on principle. There was always a chance that he would spot something that they didn't.
That idea was slowly becoming a bit more real as they kept going. They had gotten to a point where their destination beyond was visible, and something in the back of Jax's mind was kicking him about it. Eyes fixed on the facility, he kept moving forwards.
"Fal-Mai, stop."
Mordenna's words were enough to bring the whole squad to a halt. Fal-Mai paused where she was and turned to their brother. "What's the matter? The way forward seems clear."
"Yeah. Seems. Come over here, I need a clearer look at what's in front of us." When Fal-Mai did as asked, Mordenna straightened, taking a step or so forward and squinting at the ground in front of them. Near the facility, the grass thinned out until nothing was left but the dull, purple earth. If Mordenna was seeing something, Jax wasn't in the loop. Mordenna rubbed at his mouth. "... interesting. There's disturbed patches of ground, evenly spaced, with nigh-identical shapes and sizes with all of them. If I didn't know any better, I'd think they put landmines here."
"... landmines?" Banel, previously quiet, lowered the barrel of his gun slightly. "Are you sure, Hunter?"
"Not quite, but I don't know why else they'd have these spots unless they're growing crops. Really only a few ways to find out."
"I think I know one." Wiki stepped more towards the front. "Can you mark out where it is?"
Nodding, Mordenna leaned down and picked up a rock. He took his knife and scratched the top of it, marking it. Then, he crouched down and gingerly tossed it. It came to a rolling stop, marked-side up. Jax looked at the area where it had stopped, but still couldn't claim to notice any disturbance of the earth. Wiki zipped over to it, and a small part of Jax braced for the supposed landmine going off as she went over. No such thing happened, however, and she lowered herself down to inspect the ground. "... yeah, from this distance? A specialized tool has been used to dig up the ground—and the disturbance goes fairly deep. One moment, please."
With that, Wiki seemed to teleport into the very earth itself. A few moments later, she was back on the surface. "Sure enough, there's a mine down there. I went ahead and disabled it." She gestured back out towards the rest of the area around the facility. "I took a quick look and it seems they've mined the place up. Given the time and a few more copies of me, I could defang this place pretty quick."
"A regular minesweeper, eh, Wiki?" Mordenna grinned.
"Actually," she said, wagging her finger at him, "'minesweeping' is the act of clearing naval mines. I'm a regular deminer."
"Smartass." Leaving the banter aside, Mordenna gestured at two wide points in the field. "Clear from there to there. I don't think we're going to be making a full trip around. Besides, it's... empty, here." He went back to squinting, but this time it was at the facility ahead. "I kinda assumed once we knew it was landmines that maybe they'd have Archons and a Gatekeeper or two on hand, but... I haven't seen any trails to indicate heavy psionic afterburn, save good ol' Jax here. Sis? Hear any thrusters?"
Fal-Mai shook her head. "I have not heard any Archons... nor any other patrols. It would seem the facility is deserted."
"Deserted and filled to the gills with landmines." Banel readjusted his grip on his gun. "Seems they knew we'd be here."
The notion that ADVENT knew they would be at this facility was just making Jax's sense of foreboding worse. He was sensible enough that he could pick out patterns, which was how he was able to arrive at Fal-Mai's Ascension Facility at the same time they did. He'd been doing those patrols for a few days before the raid nearby happened—it was simply too convenient. If trends continued, then this...
Jax swallowed thickly. "There... there does not seem to be much use in simply waiting here and discussing the nature of it all. I believe we should advance once Wiki has rendered the path ahead safe."
Mordenna looked over his shoulder at Jax, no doubt catching the hesitation on his face. With a quick nod, he looked back ahead. "You heard the man. Get demining, Wiki."
Just a few moments later, there were a few more clones of Wiki flying about, teleporting into the ground and coming up moments later to submerge at a different spot. As Wiki worked, Jax slowly walked over to Mordenna. Knowing how to disable the communicator in his ear, he did just that, motioning for Mordenna to do the same. Once he did, Jax began. "... this. This would not happen to be my facility, would it...?" Jax asked at a low volume.
Mordenna's mouth pinched uneasily, and he looked at the building ahead in favor of looking at Jax. "All evidence kinda points to that, yeah. Something tells me the Elders knew we'd find our way here eventually, hence the landmines. Wouldn't be surprised if we had more stuff waiting for us on our way in."
Jax crossed his arms, eyes flickering downwards. "—truth be told, I... I do not know if I am ready to destroy this place, myself. I know you and Fal-Mai have abandoned the Elders and I do not begrudge either of you for doing so, but I..."
"I know." Mordenna's finger tapped his side, fidgeting. "I don't blame you, at least. If I were you, I'd be antsy about this too. I think you should come with us, to be honest—getting something like this out of the way is freeing. Makes me kinda regret that I wasn't awake to smash my own."
That assurance simply sent Jax back to the time where he was defending Mordenna's facility, and how he'd abjectly failed to do so—and even lost more of his congregation in the process. Jax sighed. As much dread as it put in him, he wanted to follow his brother's advice. Even if it seemed like a bad idea, destroying this place would be affirming his decision to join with XCOM. It wasn't as if he didn't harbor bad memories of this area, of course—though he had dismissed it for a long time, his time here was... trying. Very trying. Probably what spawned his fear of being alone in the first place. If he destroyed it, he could not be hurt here. Not anymore.
With a heavy heart, he nodded. "I will accompany you all. It... only seems right." He closed his eyes for a heavy moment. "Especially if you and Fal-Mai are with me."
A grin worked its way onto Mordenna's face and he reached over to pat Jax's shoulder. "That's the spirit. Me and sis will be with you the whole way. Isn't that right, sis?"
He raised his voice for his question. Seemingly having heard the whole conversation, Fal-Mai offered them both a nod. Turning his communicator back on, Mordenna let his hand slide off Jax's shoulder. "Keep your chin up, we got this."
Flipping on his own, Jax took a deep breath. Of course. If he was here with his siblings, that made things better. The thought of having them beside him was now a comforting one rather than one he looked at with disdain—and perhaps that was proof enough that he could change. Strange times make for strange bedfellows. Are you sure they'll want you forever? It's only a matter of time before you hurt them like you hurt the Commander. Jax didn't want to think on that, so much.
After a little while longer, Wiki's clones all came up and merged back into her, and she approached the group again. "The area you specified is clear. I've jammed up the whole system for the landmines—they're not going to activate unless someone fixes them."
Banel gave a single chuckle. "To think there'd be a day I would be happy a Codex jammed something up. Nice work, Wiki."
"It's my pleasure. Now." Wiki flitted to the side. "Who wants to test my handiwork?"
Tellingly, nobody advanced. Mordenna stroked his chin at the ground in front of them. "Look, Wiki, I'm not saying I'm putting in a vote of no confidence, but you have to understand—"
"I will go." As Jax spoke up, the group looked to him. He took in a deep breath. "I have perfected a shield that can stave off any explosive might brought to bear against me. These mere traps set before us should not prove a challenge to it."
"Atta boy, bro." Mordenna gave him a grin. "Forward with confidence, yeah?"
Simply offering a nod at that, Jax cleared the air from his lungs, then took in the deepest breath he could. Walking forward, he summoned a Stasis around himself a few steps in. Navigation on psionics would usually be a difficult feat to those unused to how slippery they were—but Jax was a master of constructs, and thus, a master of the form of his psionics. This Stasis was firm, almost rough, but flexible where he needed it in order to calmly walk across the open field. He had often used a shield like this on-demand when XCOM had tried to use explosives against him in the past—maintaining it like this was new.
His walk, though he was braced the whole time, was uneventful. Jax reached the area outside of the facility with no interruptions, letting the Stasis drop as he took measured breaths. When he was sure he was fine, he turned around to look to the squad. "Well?"
It was Fal-Mai who first walked across the ground he cleared, head held high in her implicit trust. Mordenna followed after her and Maria after him, and soon the whole squad had joined him. Mordenna took up his spot again at the front, head on a swivel as he scanned the area. "Alright, Wiki, you've got a little bit more confidence in you from me. Now. I'm gonna go ahead and lead this effort because who better to spot potential traps than me, eh?"
Fal-Mai fell into place behind him, nodding. "I find no flaws with this plan... so long as I am the ears to your eyes."
"Hey, I've got no problem with that." Mordenna slowly moved forward—doing so at a pace that anyone else could describe as an "amble," but Jax had watched him stalk like this before. They had landed at one of the doors into the facility, and Mordenna was looking high and low for anything that might be brought against them. The rest of the squad followed behind him, and Jax himself was on the lookout—for as much as it would help. He was not the trap-minded sort, and admittedly didn't know what to look for. It just made him feel better to be on guard.
Mordenna got to the door and crouched down in front of the pad. "Alright. Clear the door." Once everyone did, he went to work, tapping away. When the door opened, there was a heavy silence that followed as Mordenna looked in. After a minute or so of looking, he shrugged. "I don't see anything, and you can take that for what it's worth. I'm heading in."
With no objections, Menace followed in after the Hunter... though Jax stopped at the doorway. Memories were coming back and calling to him; though it all happened twenty years ago, the phantoms of what had occurred still came around. He had told the Commander that he did not mourn for his Ascension. Yet, as he looked at the interior, of the solitary confinement cell visibly clear from his angle... Jax found his hands shaking.
He was raised, in a way, in this facility. Childhood to adulthood, the process accelerated to the span of mere months. Rounds and rounds of psionic therapy sessions, to bring out and temper what he was born with naturally. Yet, he could not claim to be raised at all. The only one who seemed to tend to him with a caring hand was Joseph, and he... he had made his opinions clear, it seemed. This was not a place of glory. This was not a place Jax could claim pride in. This was not—
"Jax?"
Remembering to breathe, Jax sucked in a breath through his nose, closing his eyes. "I'm fine," he replied to Maria with. "I... I am alright." He opened them again to meet her imploring gaze. He wanted to say more, to assure her... but the mere aura that surrounded this place seemed to sap his words. Clenching his hands into fists, he set his eyes forwards, looking at nothing as he walked into his facility proper. He would not acknowledge the phantoms of what he used to sound like, screaming and crying in that cell. He would not think on what had happened. Surely, if he kept repeating it to himself...
"Hey, uh, bro." Mordenna's words were something else to focus on, thankfully. He looked to his brother, and though Mordenna was trying to seem casual, the undercurrent of concern was clear. "Now that I think about it, I think you can sit outside if you want. Considering ADVENT left this place open, I think I'm gonna let Wiki pilfer what she can and then put some explosives down."
Jax shook his head. He had entered. His stubborn pride would not allow him to leave until the deeds that Mordenna had laid out were done. His presence mattered—and the fact that there could still be another threat looming was not lost on him. "I will remain, and leave no sooner than when we have ensured this place will fall."
"Alright, alright." Mordenna did not sound as if that was alright. "We'll make it quick, then. Wiki?"
"Already on it." Wiki was at one of the stations in the area. She plunged her hands into one of the many machines, and the black cloud billowing off of her head started twisting and twitching. "Data's coming to me. I'll get what I can through here."
"Nice. Banel? You got the C4?"
"X4, thank you." Jax turned, and Banel took out a device and attached it to the nearest supporting beam in the area. A few button presses later and it beeped, assuredly meaning it was armed. Even though he knew it wouldn't blow until they were gone, it still sent a chill up Jax's spine. Which... it shouldn't, should it? The one that was used on him was different. But... the memory persisted. Why did he have to be hounded by his past at every opportunity? Mere months ago he was free from this torture. He knew what had changed—it was him—but it still left him wondering. Nevertheless, he remained wary of the explosive placed.
"Got what pertains to this place." Wiki speaking brought him back to looking at her. "There's... a few other files here. Think I should pilfer them?"
"You kidding?" Mordenna threw out his hands. "Take everything. If they left it here, their loss."
"Right then." The act of a Codex hacking something was a little visually unimpressive outside of their hands being merged with whatever they were hacking, it seemed. A few seconds later and Wiki tilted her head. "Hm. That's. A weird file to have here. What's the Si—"
Wiki seemed to phase out of sight for a moment. When she stopped flickering, she staggered, but kept her hands in the terminal. "Shoot. Tripped a security measure. Might have company here soon."
Mordenna took the rifle off of his back. "Goddamnit Wiki. Oh well. Guess I'll actually get to—"
A sound from Jax's future nightmares set off behind him—that damned high-pitched whine. What happened next, Jax would later attribute to intuition and mindless fear. One second, psionic claws shot out at the various members of his squad, dragging them close to him. The next, he gasped in a breath and put up his blast shield around them.
The next second, the X4 charge went off.
His shield and mind were rocked from the force of the explosive, testing the true limits of his powers as he shuddered, whole consciousness put into the effort of maintaining the dome he had created. Mere moments later, he was tested again as debris began to fall upon his psionics, each crash and impact sending another jolt of pain across his mind. The shield wasn't built for rubble, and the strain was wearing on him. But he had to keep it maintained. His eyes were screwed shut from exertion, but he knew that he had his allies under him. His siblings. If he let up on this shield, they would likely die from the collapse. He couldn't fail. He couldn't give up.
Eventually, the cascade of rubble seemed to settle, and Jax now only had to put his efforts into keeping the shield strong under the weight of his former facility. It was quiet now, compared to the cacophony of sound earlier—a part of him wondered how Fal-Mai was holding up. That spurred him into opening one of his eyes, looking over the group under him.
They seemed to be alright—a few knocked to the ground from the force of being pulled, but alright. He knew that wouldn't last for long; the shield was airtight. They'd run out of oxygen, and even if not, he would need to breathe eventually.
"Menace One-Five, do you read?!"
Eliza's voice came over comms, and Jax wished he could respond to say they were alright—but it was taking all of his willpower to keep the shield maintained and the urge to breathe at bay. He made eye contact with his brother, who got the hint. "We're alright. In a shield under the rubble." He looked around frantically. "Don't know how we're going to get out."
"I don't know what happened." That was Lily, and she sounded fairly distressed. "The X4 shouldn't have gone off—even if it was shot, it's a stable compound. None of us up here gave it the clear to blow."
Wiki righted herself, making electronic buzzes and crackles of what sounded like frustration. "I should've known. Those files were plants. I must've tripped a protocol that interfered with the X4 signal and set it to explode with us there."
"Alright. We know what happened." Banel propped himself up on a knee. "How are we getting out?!"
"I..." Mordenna's hands pressed against the inside of the shield. With the contact came his normally-mute signature—and it made clear the panic Mordenna was masking. Jax's heart twinged with the mutual feeling of terror. If Mordenna didn't know what to do, that didn't speak well. "There's..."
"Can..." Maria swallowed thickly. "Can Wiki teleport out and—I don't know, move some of the rubble?"
"I doubt she can—" Because Mordenna had inadvertently linked with Jax, he could feel his brother's revelation firsthand. His head whipped over to Wiki. "Wiki. Can you bring other people with you when you teleport?"
"Hypothetically, yes, but..." Her form flickered. "Not this many. I've never tried."
"Well it's a good time to learn!" Mordenna grabbed Wiki, bringing her to the center of the squad. "Everybody get a hand on the Codex. Wiki, grab Jax's leg!"
Jax watched as Wiki leaned over and got a grip on one of his greaves. At the same time, the rest of the group planted a hand on her. She began to glow brightly. "Hold on!"
When Jax could feel her tug upon him, he waited until the last second to drop his shield. Just for a moment, he could feel a piece of the ruined facility impact him before Wiki launched him across the Void, back the way they came. Wiki's guidance was rough, strained by the effort of bringing so many passengers. Had she had to go any further, Jax knew they would have lost someone on the way. As it stood?
The next moment, they were all tumbling across the ground in their reality.
Jax landed on his back, but he quickly rolled to brace himself on his hand and knees, gasping for air and coughing up a storm, each one agitating his oncoming strain headache. To his side, he could hear a majority of Menace One-Five doing the same, now that they weren't sharing a tiny pocket of oxygen. Well, at least the more human-ish members. Wiki was most likely fine. Right? Catching his breath and his coughing reduced to a mere tickle in his lungs, Jax looked over to the rest of the group. They were picking themselves up off the ground, Fal-Mai being one of the first to recover it seemed.
In the middle of them all was a Codex brain.
The sight stunned Jax for a moment. He knew that transporting that many passengers would've taken its toll on Wiki, but was she truly dead? As he started staggering to his feet, Mordenna was the second to notice their downed ally, and rushed down to scoop up what remained of her. He turned over the remnant of her in his hands for a tense time, then settled his mouth into a line. "She's gone dark. I don't know if she's 'dead' in a literal sense, but... she's not coming back, not right now."
"The poor thing..." Maria was on her own two feet now, somber at the development. "That was a noble act of her. If that was her last action..."
"Never say 'die,' not with these sorts of things." Freeing up a hand, Mordenna picked his rifle off of the ground and put it back, handling Wiki's brain carefully. "I can... I can run a few tests, see what might bring her back. I'm not a miracle worker, but at her core, she's a machine. I can work with machines."
"That's... that's good to hear, Mordenna." The equal parts relief and exhaustion in Eliza's voice were palpable. "Is everyone else all right?"
"I do not believe we've sustained injuries otherwise." Fal-Mai was in remarkable shape for someone of her hearing that was just at the center of that blast zone. Did the new mask have something to do with it? "Merely... the potential loss of a comrade."
"Hey." Mordenna's protest was weaker than it normally was. "What'd I just say about not saying 'die?'"
"But... I did not use the word—"
"Hush. Don't." He took a flare from his belt and cracked it off, tossing it in front of them. "Commander, please get Firebrand out here. I've got some repairs to do on sparky here back home."
"Understood. Firebrand's coming in. No signs of hostiles on the scanners—take a moment to rest, Menace."
Now that the chaos had settled and they were simply waiting on their ride home, Jax took the chance to look upon his ruined facility, his worsening headache progressing as he did. The building was nothing but rubble—the X4 charge had done its job well. Just where they used to be, there was a noticeable concave area in the debris—a clear indicator of what would've happened had Jax dropped the shield while they were there. It was nothing, now. Nothing but bent and warped metal, a final monument to the feelings festering inside of him. Once again, the Elders had decreed death to be his punishment.
Jax could feel himself waver on the spot as the realization of everything caught up to him, magnified by the pain throbbing in his skull. Failure. It was nothing but failure for him at every turn. There was nothing, nothing he could do right. If he had his wits, he could've teleported them out of there. He could've picked up on the fact that there had to be another trap. He had so many chances to make a better choice, and yet, Jax found himself so, so inadequate. He was nothing. He would be nothing.
"Jax. Hey... hey." Mordenna was next to him now. If Jax was projecting, it would explain the slight pinch to Mordenna's features. "Everything alright up there? Firing correctly on all cylinders? Not that I'm saying you're not thinking, the opposite, actually..."
He wanted to return the slight banter. He wanted badly to say he was fine. But how could he? How could he bold facedly lie? Jax's eyes wouldn't move from the rubble, and it felt as if his ribs wouldn't move to let his lungs expand.
There was a moment of silence on Mordenna's part, during which Fal-Mai and Maria approached the two of them as well. Mordenna leaned his head slightly to one side. "Hey. Liz? Cut the feed. Turn it off, whatever. Give us a moment."
"Understood. Be safe down there, Menace."
Right after Eliza said that, Jax was hugged by Mordenna, followed by Fal-Mai and his Matriarch. Their actions restored a bit of presence to him and he took in a shuddering breath, trying to wrench his eyes away from the rubble, trying to just stop. It was a good thing Mordenna could apparently see what was wrong, as he spoke up again. "Hey. Bro. Fals and I are going to turn you so you don't have to look at it anymore, alright? That sound good?"
At the very least, Jax found he could nod shallowly. With that, he could feel Mordenna and Maria—and Fal-Mai as she picked up on what she needed to do—start to nudge him into turning around. Numbly, he followed their guidance, eyes staring straight forwards until he was now looking at the Blighted forest behind them. It was like a Stasis had worn off on him—he found himself able to breathe again, screwing his eyes shut as every beat of his heart seemed to make his migraine worse. He could feel his knees wanting to buckle underneath the weight of it all, but the pillars of support around him wouldn't let him. His arms sought for those closest to his sides—his siblings—and he buried his head in the closest object he could find: his brother's hood.
This round of tears and crying was stifled by the migraine he was currently housing. Maria cottoned on to his pain and extended her healing psionics, but even then he did his best to hold back every sob as they sent knives into both his chest and his head. He could hear Maria whisper assurances and comfort, but it was lost on his ears at the moment. He just needed to grieve. He did not hold his brother accountable, but what had happened did not bring him any joy or satisfaction. His respect, his sympathy for the Elders still remained and it ate away at him. Some part of him wanted to be free of Them, but how could he accomplish that? It seemed as if he never would be able to, especially if things like this that had worked for his siblings merely brought anguish to him. He was lost.
Underneath his brewing thoughts, he could sense Maria guiding his siblings into linking with him psionically. The notion of the action was enough to temporarily pause his thoughts. His reading of Mordenna's signature earlier had been more of a one-way affair with Mordenna likely unable to tell his own feelings through it. To have his siblings know him that personally? Well... they had resolved to try to help each other. To try to be a family. If he rejected them now, how would that help what they promised to do for each other? With a breathless sob, he tentatively opened his mind. If they truly wanted to be subjected to his headspace, Jax figured he couldn't stop them.
Maria's signature was the first, one that he was very familiar to. Warm, with an underlying strength and overlying care for him, a positively healing presence. The flame of her signature was soothing and eased the storm.
Next was Fal-Mai—dark, quiet, like a whisper on the wind. Something normally keen at hiding, stepping out into the light. In that light he saw a concern for his being, a want to be good and be there for him. There were barriers around her—ones that were not of her own making. He knew where those came from, at least, and she did not have any trouble navigating through them to uplift him and comfort him.
Finally, with well-meaning hesitation, Mordenna joined. Even as he was presenting himself openly, Jax found it difficult to get a read of him; his naturally-evasive nature bleeding into his signature. But above that, Jax could feel him trying to open up and be there for his brother. Though his signature defaulted to misdirection, to Jax, the worry and empathy Mordenna was feeling shone through. Knowing that they were now very privy to his emotions, he didn't let his surprise last long.
He could feel them all take ahold of his grief and pain and take some of it into themselves with Maria's guidance. Their holds on him grew tighter, and he squeezed them in turn, his gratitude pulsing through his signature. Perhaps he was something more than nothing. Someone who was nothing would not have this kind of support. If he was nothing, they would want nothing to do with him, and certainly wouldn't take it upon themselves to ease his suffering.
Eventually, the storm broke, the dark clouds of his thoughts subsiding. He could feel those around him relaxing through the link. Mordenna was the first to ease out when the coast was clear, followed by Maria and was... relatively fine, now. He could get the rest of his resting done on the Avenger, where he could lose himself in the midst of his Mystics and take some time to himself.
As he let up on his hug, they all pulled back from him. Opening his eyes, he was just able to catch Mordenna wiping discreetly at his own. Jax took a moment to simply breathe. Maria's psionics had eased the worst of his migraine and left him with simply a moderate headache. His arms fell to his sides. "... thank you," he muttered, voice quiet and raw. "It... it comforts me to have you all."
"Ain't right to leave you hanging." Mordenna's voice was similarly lowered, missing its ever-sarcastic undertone. "'Sides, we're in this together, and other similarly cliché phrases."
"Is it cliché if it is meant whole-heartedly?" Maria looked up at Jax and gave him a warm smile. "I think it is only natural."
"I must agree with Maria." Fal-Mai crossed her arms. "I would not think it 'cliché' if we truly mean to stand with each other."
"Alright, alright." Mordenna waved it off. "I get it. We can be sibs without me trying to joke about it." He paused. "I'm, uh. I'm not being sarcastic about that, I should mention. I know I come off as a piece of shit a lot."
"I would merely think it your first line of defense, brother." Jax himself understood defaulting to something when presented with a situation he was unfamiliar with. In his case, it used to be a calm, regal mask. Now? He was unsure, and could understand Mordenna falling back on humor.
When Mordenna nodded and didn't offer much else, Jax looked up. There was a dot on the gray horizon that suggested the Skyranger, and it was getting closer. Right. They were on a mission. Even if they were about to head home. That in mind, he cast his gaze over to their fifth member. In his grief and sorrow, Jax had forgotten Banel was even there. But there he stood, partially turned away from them all as he held what was left of Wiki, helmet turned down to look at her. What were his feelings, seeing the Chosen so vulnerable and close? What did he think of it all?
Unless he wanted to go over and check, Jax didn't think he'd know the answer so soon. A calm silence fell on their group as Jax watched the Skyranger approach. As it did, Mordenna pressed a finger to his ear. "Commander? We're all good. Visual confirmation of Firebrand."
"Good to know, Hunter."
Mordenna paused, as if thinking about something. "Did you get the files that Wiki uploaded?"
There was a moment of quiet over comms. Then, "Yes. Including the extra files that tripped security."
"What were those extras?"
More silence. It went on long enough that it seemed to fall to Lily to respond. "It... it turns out that Cronus must've... been using the Siren files as reference for Jax. The files Wiki found aren't the original ones, but they're exact copies."
The gravity of that statement dug a pit in Jax's stomach. In that moment, he couldn't help but feel that he had hurt Eliza again, however inadvertently it happened. Were he in any worse mood, he felt as if he would've spiralled back down into a storm again—but as it stood, he merely took in a deep breath and quietly sighed it out. He would... he would simply bear his punishment on his own time. There was nothing to be done.
"... hey, Commander?" Mordenna turned away from the group. "Mind if we talk when we get back? Got a thing or two to discuss with you before I start working on Wiki."
"That can be arranged. I'll keep it in mind."
"Roger. Take it easy up there."
As he said that, the Skyranger came in at a hover. The cords dropped down, and Jax couldn't find the energy to teleport up and in there. He merely advanced with the rest of the squad and took ahold of his cord, returning to the cramped, calming embrace of the Skyranger.
Banel had seen a lot of things in his life. His own kids grow up and move out, the business and deals of the "family" he had once led, and indeed, all the sights of the alien war.
He didn't know if he'd ever see the Chosen like that.
After handing off what was left of their Codex friend off to Mordenna, Banel simply found himself walking through the halls of the Avenger. Though he'd been through the Armory, he never got around to taking his WAR Suit off, what with all the thoughts brewing in his head. He'd kept his helmet on too, mercifully masking his expression.
In some ways, he felt that the explosion was his fault. If he'd waited until they got what they needed, the security protocol would've had nothing to trip. Then again, it could've just as easily detonated it where it lay on his hip, and that would've been far more difficult to handle. No matter which way he came at it, Banel just couldn't see what he could've done to prevent it, save for not taking the X4 at all. In a way, it made him feel a bit better; if there was truly nothing he could have done about it, he didn't see any reason to beat himself up. It happened. Now they just needed to move on and heal. Banel was an expert at moving on, at least. Had to be, in his former line of work.
His feet stopped, and he found himself in front of the door to the Commons. Well, if he wanted to take a load off, this would be the best place to do it. Second best place would be the Bar, but Banel didn't feel like drinking himself to death. He was sure his buddies in the Commons could give him a moment of peace as he thought over just what had happened, that mission. Even if he was an expert at moving on, he wanted to give some thought to it. He could move on and learn from it. He tapped the panel, thankful that the screens around the Avenger largely didn't need skin contact to work.
The Commons were quiet, with the screen at the far end of the room showing the XCOM symbol. They must've been watching the mission. Eyes turned to him as he entered, walking to one of the empty seats at the round table and taking his place.
Leo was the first to walk over, leaning on the table next to him. "—how are you feeling?"
"Like someone's punched a hole in my gut," he answered honestly.
Leo's brows furrowed, the way they always did when one of his "patients" gave him a concerning response. Before he could speak up again, Banel shook his head. "I appreciate you, I really do, Leo... but give me a moment to think over it all. Saw some... pretty somber stuff down there."
"If you ask me, it's about time."
Oh, god. Vlad was here. The absolute last thing Banel needed after seeing the Warlock laid bare like that was any of Vlad's rhetoric or his xenophobia. Banel knew the Chosen were their enemies before, and rightfully, he was wary of them when the Commander first brought them to her side. But they'd shown they were more concerned with themselves than making trouble. In a good way, of course—they seemed to have turned around rather well if that field interaction said anything.
Regardless, Vlad kept flapping his gums. "Look, I know apparently all of us have rolled over and accepted the Chosen, but that doesn't mean that they're absolved of everything they've ever done. I think a little humility needs to—"
Honestly, Banel didn't know what happened for a moment or so. One second, he was reclined in his chair. The next, he'd slammed Vlad on his back on the table, a single gauntlet around his throat. Vlad was kicking and clawing at his hand, but Banel wasn't budging. He applied a bit more pressure and that got the message across for Vlad to stop struggling.
Banel's voice was quiet and deadly in the silence that followed his action. "I'm going to be completely honest with you, Vlad. I don't like you. You're lucky that Herod even likes you half as much as he does. But what makes me hate you is your refusal to read the goddamn room." He leaned in, helmet-to-face with him. "I saw the Chosen, down there. They already know humility. They already know guilt and pain. I don't know what happened between them and the Elders, but suffice to say, they're walking around with the scars of what happened. I know an abused kid when I see one. And I won't stand here and just listen to you slandering them when they're trying to get better. Now. I'll give you two options, simple, really. You reshape your attitude." His gauntlet clenched just a bit more, the servos on his suit sound off as he did. "Or I reshape your spine."
With that, he let go of Vlad's throat. He gasped in a breath and started coughing, clutching his neck. Banel eased into standing back up, and then looked at his audience. Everyone was quiet, with some people in various states of probably wanting to stop him, but not really feeling like taking on the man in a WAR Suit. He waited a moment more before addressing them, Vlad's struggles at breathing again underlining his words. "You can disagree with the Commander taking in the Chosen. I know some of you do, and that's fine. You can disagree with wanting to work with them in the field; I'm sure the Commander will accommodate that. But if I catch any of you spouting off the exact same shit Vlad here is saying... we will have words, you and I. The Chosen are trying, god forbid. They may not be trying to make up with us so much, but I saw what happened down there, when the feed cut for you guys. They're trying to pick up the pieces again. I know what people coming from a broken home look like; I've adopted a few in my time."
More quiet. Nobody seemed to know how to respond. Looking back to Vlad, who had staggered away from him when presented the chance, Banel turned towards the door. "That's all. Exercise decency. Even the folks I used to run around with could do that."
Having imparted what he wanted to, Banel walked away from the table, letting what he said hang in the air between them all.
