Remus ran a hand down his face suddenly looking even older than he usually did, if that was possible. He sighed heavily as Sirius finally stopped talking. That had been a lot of talking.
Wordlessly, Remus poured him out a fresh cup of tea. Sirius hadn't touched his original one, it had probably gone cold. He would have just heated it up but he knew Remus needed to do something so he could process all the information he had just given him. It was a lot of information. Sirius hadn't exactly fully processed it himself.
Was it even possible to process? Had Harry managed to process it? How was he dealing with it? It wasn't something you could just deal with and forget about. No. Definitely not.
"So, that's it? He's back?"
Remus didn't even sound surprised. Tired? Resigned? But not surprised.
"Yes. Harry saw him."
Now Remus was shaking his head.
"That. That sounds horrifying. Out of a cauldron like that?"
Sirius just nodded mutely. He didn't want to go over it again. It was bad enough doing it once. And he hadn't even seen it. Who knew how Harry was really feeling? Not good, that was for sure.
"And Wormtail?" Remus asked quietly.
Even after all these years, after everything he'd done, they still couldn't refer to Peter by his first name. He was still Wormtail.
"Helped him," Sirius spat.
Harry should have let them kill him. Sure, Voldemort would probably have used Crouch Junior or something to revive himself but it wouldn't have been Wormtail. It wouldn't have been a former Marauder. The growl that came from Remus indicated that he was thinking the same thing.
Sirius briefly daydreamed about what he would do to Wormtail if he ever saw him again. Whatever it would be, it would give him great satisfaction, he knew that much.
"Albus was always expecting this," Remus said quietly.
That didn't surprise Sirius as much as he thought it should. Remus had told Sirius that Dumbledore never thought that Voldemort had truly been defeated that Hallowe'en night.
"He must have been planning this, then," Sirius said absentmindedly.
That startled Remus. "Excuse me?"
"He wants to reconvene the Order."
Those six words were enough to make Remus freeze. Sirius was sure that memories were coming back to him. Rushing to him. Of the Order.
"The Order? As in, the Order of the Phoenix?"
Sirius couldn't help but be a bit sarcastic in his response, "Well, unless there was some other secret Order that was going on back then that I didn't know about?"
Hey, it was Remus' fault for asking such a stupid question. Remus just rolled his eyes at him.
"Yes," Sirius said unnecessarily. "The Order of the Phoenix."
"Right."
Sirius didn't know whether Remus was in shock or just plain denial but whatever it was it caused him not to talk for a good few minutes.
"So, we're doing this again," Remus eventually said with a sigh, closing his eyes.
Now Sirius suddenly felt very old. It was the 'again' that did it for him. They were doing this again. They'd already lived through this. Grew up in it. Now it was happening again?
Sirius sighed in return. "Looks like it."
"The Order back together..."
That wasn't directed at him. It was just a statement. But yes, the Order was reconvening. Back to whispers and plans and sneaking around. Back to listening, always being aware and a dark cloud always following you. Could they do all this again? Was it possible when even the Ministry wasn't on their side this time?
"Just like the last time?" Remus asked.
"Looks like it."
Sirius couldn't help but sigh heavily again. Yep, it was just like last time. At least this would be familiar to him, unlike everything else that had been happening this year.
"I wonder how many of us are still alive?" Remus wondered.
That. That wasn't something he'd thought about. How many of them were still alive? How many died? Near the end they were basically getting picked off one by one.
"You would know better than me."
Yes, that was bitterness that crept into his voice. It wasn't directed at Remus or anything, it wasn't his fault. But Sirius felt that he was allowed to be bitter. Even if it was only for a bit. Get it all out of his system so that he'd actually be of some use.
"I'm not that sure..." Remus said, his voice trailing off. "So much happened at the end, even after that Hallowe'en..."
Both of them lapsed into silence at that, each left to their own painful thoughts.
Lives lost. Lives ruined. None of their generation had come out of the war unscathed. There was no way you could have.
And Sirius knew he still didn't know the half of it. That's what happened when you got locked up the night the war ended. Hell, he just found out what happened to the Longbottoms a few months ago.
"We're going to have to figure that out," Sirius told him. "Dumbledore wants us to, and I quote, 'gather the old crowd'."
Remus nodded but didn't say anything. Probably trying to figure out who was dead and who was alive. What a depressing thought.
What was also depressing was the fact that they were going to have to do all this again. They couldn't escape it, could they?
At least they knew what they were doing this time, right? Right?
Sirius thought of the desperation, the hope, the fighting... All of that was going to be normal again.
"Right," Remis said determinedly. "That's what we'll do then."
Like they had a choice.
"We'll get everyone together," he continued when Sirius stayed silent. "And plan. Plan and then gather information. That has to be the next step."
Sirius nodded along in agreement, noting that Remus was already reverting back to the way they used to have to think.
"The only step for now," Sirius added. "We have no Ministry support and we don't have any idea of what he wants to do next."
