It was the middle of week three without Number 1 when Number 5 came into the TV room of the Sector V treehouse. Just as she'd suspected, her teammates were mindlessly watching a Rainbow Monkey Soap Opera(everyone was so down that even Number 4 didn't make one complaint about the program and he HATED those Rainbow Monkeys). Something had to be done.
Number 5 cleared her throat to get their attention. Nobody moved except Number 2, who rolled over and let out a snore.
"Okay, that's it!"
The whole team snapped out of their gloomy haze to see Number 5 snatch the remote and turn off the tv.
"We're getting ice cream! Now!"
That got their attention.
The entire team stared at the small dark-skinned girl in her signature red baseball cap. Number 5 hadn't sounded so determined about anything since—well, since Number 1 left for space.
"I dunno… it wouldn't be the same without Number 1."
The soft comment came from a certain pilot who was never without his aviator goggles, whether he was in the air or on the ground.
"It wouldn't be the same." echoed Number 3 as she listlessly covered her eyes with her oversized green sweater.
Crossing her arms, Number 5 turned on the overhead light. "Number 1" she said with as much confidence as she could put into her voice, "wouldn't want us mourning the living. Listen, in a week things will start picking back up. Numbuh 5 doesn't think Father's gonna be awfully happy about how we snatched his pipe. Is this the state you wanna be in when he shows back up?"
Number 2 and 3 just mumbled, but Number 4, a short blonde kid with an Australian accent and plenty of fight, was already out of his funk. He stood up on the back of the couch and stared down his teammates.
"Number 5's right! We're Sector V! We go on dangerous missions all the time and beat the crud out of the bad guys! We can go get some ice cream without Number 1, can't we? What would he say if he saw us? Are we going? Or did you all already grow up?"
That last accusation did the trick. Right before Number 1 left, all five of them swore an oath never to grow up, no matter how old they all got. And they weren't about to break that oath. Not for anything.
For the first time in the last couple of weeks Abigail Lincoln, the new leader of Sector V, finally felt cool.
It had been a struggle for everyone since Nigel Uno (or Number 1 to the Kids Next Door) had been selected to become a member of the Galactic Kids Next Door, a elite super-secret part of an already elite super-secret organization. He had earned this. The Galactic Kids Next Door (or the GKND) only took the single best operative from every planet to fill their ranks. And Number 1 was chosen out of every operative in the world. Everyone missed him, but maybe things were finally looking up.
The decision to get ice cream was, in Number 5's opinion, the best decision of her Sector Leader tenure so far. For the first time in so long, Abby felt cool and in control. Maybe being Sector leader wasn't so hard after all.
Morale had skyrocketed in the last hour. The best part of all? They didn't even have to pay. Some uptight-looking blonde woman in a green dress that reminded Abby of lizard skin paid for it. The stranger seemed to be in a good mood, even though she did tell the poor pimply-faced teenager behind the counter to tuck his shirt in. After all, she paid for their ice cream. Everyone in Sector V got 4 scoops of any flavor.
This seemed like a good omen to Number 5 as she led her team down the street.
"I wonder what type of ice cream those Galactic Kids have." Number 2 commented with his mouth full of chocolate fudge ripple.
"I don't know," Number 5 answered with a small smile. "I just hope they have snow cones. I don't know how Number 1 would survive if they didn't."
Numbuh 4 wolfed down the last scoop of his ice cream with a mischievous grin.
"Speaking of Number 1, I haven't seen Lizzie the Lizard at school lately."
They all laughed at this,and then Number 3 piped up.
"I haven't seen Lizzie anywhere… but I did see the Delightful Children!"
"Where?" Number 2 asked, absentmindedly digging into his ice cream. The Delightful Children from Down the Lane, Sector V's sworn enemy and the legendary missing kids from Sector Z (a whole nother story)had been suspiciously quiet since the day they were flushed down a giant toilet at the Rainbow Monkey Potty park.
"See? Over there!" Number 3 cheerfully pointed at the road ahead of them.
The Delightful Children from Down the Lane came stomping down the street in one of their trademark contraptions. This time it was a spider-like walking mech with a glass dome encasing the drivers, who were elevated a couple of feet off the ground. It was very much like the one they had used to attack the KND before… except something was off. The old Walker was purple with red trim. This one was brilliantly, blindingly white, just like the Delightful Children's new white robes that replaced their usual prep school uniforms. Even Lenny's signature football helmet was white.
"Hello, Kids Next Door." The Delightful Children greeted in unison, for that was one of their quirks. They did everything together, talked with one blended voice together, fought and crushed their enemies together, celebrated all their birthdays five different times of year together. Rumor had it that they even went to the bathroom together. The Delightful Children from Down the Lane could not be divided. That was a fact of life.
Number 2 was the first to speak. "Hey guys! I've never seen walking talking toilet paper before!"
The other three burst out laughing.
"Eww! That's gross!" Number 3 squeaked out through a fit of laughter.
Numbuh 4 was the next kid to join in.
"Someone wiped and threw it into the street instead of flushing!"
Number 5 wiped a tear from her eye. "Man, Toilenator's really upped his game. He can make a toilet walk and talk, and it even dresses itself."
Sector V was laughing, but the Delightful Children just sat there unamused in their little ball staring at them.
"Anything else?" They asked flatly.
"Yeah, what's with the getup? Father kicked you out so you had to go crawling to Mummy?" Number 2 called out at the top of his lungs.
The laughs kept coming. Number 2 was really on a roll today.
The Delightful Children all had the smug smile of kids who thought they knew a lot more than their peers.
"It's a religious thing. You Kids Next Door are too immature to understand."
"What are you worshipping, a giant toilet?" Number 4 said, pounding his fist on the grass.
The Delightful Children sighed, and out from their turret came a hedge of identical white sneakers. "Before we kick your butts, we would like to give you a head start. Allow us to start the countdown."
It was then that Number 5 remembered her whole team was unarmed. The threat of any villain being ready to make an attack right now was so small that she didn't even bother to tell anyone to pack a mustard blaster. Her heart was racing.
"Scatter!"
Not quite ready for a fight,her team obeyed that command.
"5…
"4…"
"3…"
"2…"
The Delightful Children didn't even bother to count down to 1.
Sector V put up a struggle befitting their training and reputation but it was all in vain. Number 2 was caught first while he was trying to look for a better hiding spot. He was picked up by the long metallic arms of the robot and kicked by all of the sneakers going around and around like a painful carnival ride.
Number 3 ran the furthest, but she was no match for the long, spidery arms of the machine. Meanwhile, Number 4 actually climbed on top of the glass dome and was trying to crack it open with a rock when he was shocked by an electric shield. He was given a good kick and landed in a pile on top of his teammates.
Number 5 managed to climb a tree and was trying to figure out the layout of the battlefield. She could have kicked herself for being so stupid as not to bring a single weapon or piece of 2x4 tech with them. Unfortunately for her, the Delightful Children had the same idea.
A cluster of long metal legs extended up and quickly grabbed Number 5, who was unceremoniously kicked into the pile of her friends.
"You delightful creeps!" Number 4 yelled from underneath Number 5. A cut on his chin and two matching skinned knees wouldn't be enough to stop him from fighting back. "You cruddy cheaters didn't even get to 1!"
"Oh, Wallabee, we're terribly sorry…" His attackers said in a voice that was just dripping with fake sympathy. "We don't see Number 1 anywhere!"
They all laughed together. One of them pressed a button and the metallic spider(it really was exactly the color of a toilet)began to grow until it was at least 12 stories high. The legs were now as thick around as tree trunks and for some reason those legs now had giant white sneakers.
The Delightful Children laughed maniacally as they raised the spider's big shoe to finish off Sector V. Number 5 was sure they were doomed. Her whole team was doomed and it was all her fault. She braced herself for impact and hoped somebody would survive.
Then came the voice, a clipped British accent that sounded almost Americanized and for one blissful moment they all thought that Nigel Uno had come back to save them.
But it wasn't him. This was a woman's voice. In fact, it was the same voice that they had heard back at the ice cream parlor offering to buy the whole team ice cream. Now that voice was ripping into the Delightful Children, who were shaking more fearfully than if it had been Father's rage.
"What are you five doing? Tormenting these defenseless children? Didn't your Father raise you better than this!?"
"But you don't understand! These Kids Next Doofs were mocking us and our tithing whites and..."
The next part of the conversation flew over Sector V's heads. They were still too dazed from the fight to pay attention, but what they definitely heard was the blonde lady say a single word in a voice that betrayed no anger, only authority.
"Silence!"
For once in their lives the Delightful Children were actually silent.
"Get down here this instant or so help me—"
The machine returned to its original state with much clacking and clanking and soon the Delightful Children were back to just above ground level.
"Now apologize to them."
The Delightful Children wanted to talk back but only said "We're sorry, Sector V."
"Now turn around and GO HOME."
The Delightful Children's Spider Walker slumped away in defeat. A few seconds later, the woman turned to Sector V. "Are you all right?"
Number 5 stood up and brushed herself off. "Yeah, thanks." She had a gut feeling that this woman was not to be trusted, but there was no proof of that, right? It was probably just motion sickness from being tossed around. "And you are?"
"You may call me Ms. Griswold."
