Chapter 37
Just one night, but it had made all the difference in the world, Touma thought, leaning forward in the hard chair and resting his elbows against his knees. Exhaustion lurked behind his eyes, but he fought it back, stubbornly trying to stay awake.
In the bed beside him, Makoto rested peacefully, her face already a much healthier color. As he'd suspected – well, as he'd hoped, once away from the influence of the dark energy that had been holding her well-being hostage, Makoto's Senshi energy had already kicked in and swiftly initiated the healing process. Their abilities were a mystery to him, but he could feel eager excitement at just the idea of learning more.
Makoto was incredibly unique, a once in a life-time encounter, and now he had all the time in the world to learn more about her. He wanted to know everything. Where her powers came from. What the starseeds actually were. And then there was Makoto herself. She'd fast become his new obsession, long before he'd gone to rescue her.
She was so strong. Courageous. But she had a softer, feminine side. She presented two dynamics in one person, and he loved her personality. He wanted to know everything about her. Her life. Her family. What made her tick. Her favorite food. What she liked to do in her spare time.
His excitement dimmed as even those innocuous, ordinary questions reminded him that she had an entire life she'd lost. Friends, family. Career, home. She'd lost everything. Touma rubbed his hands over his face and broke his gaze from her prone form, turning to stare out the window.
The part of him that was joyful at being reunited was quickly overpowered by the thought of the suffering she'd endured. She'd been through so much. He felt overwhelmed as he thought about how to help her.
One step at a time, he reminded himself. Small achievements piled into big ones. And small achievements were easier to take on. Would bolster her confidence and sense of wellbeing.
He hoped.
He turned again, unable to take his eyes off her in the bed. She might be recovering, but she was too still, and he needed to remind himself that she was here now, with him, not some phantom memory. She'd become entirely too important to him in the brief time that they'd known each other.
Maybe, if they'd stayed separated, he might have moved on eventually. The idea hurt, looking at her lying there so quietly. He didn't like thinking about himself moving past her. And he didn't need to think about it anymore.
Now that she was here, Touma let himself lead with his heart instead of his logic. A well of affection opened inside of him again, and he let it overcome his reason, even if only for a little while. He reached out, unable to stop himself, and placed his hand over her own where it lay beside her face on the pillow. It felt so tiny and delicate, engulfed by his own, and he shivered as he thought about how fragile she could be.
His brain reminded him of the moment she'd thrown herself out of a damn window, with no plan to save herself or her friend once she was out in space with forty-three floors of nothing beneath her.
He shuddered again, fighting the urge to pull her into his arms and ensure she stayed safely on the ground. He acknowledged he was probably a bit too obsessive, a bit too protective, but he had no idea how to turn it down.
Still holding her hand, he took the time to look her over again in the sunlight, and reassure himself that she was, in fact resting comfortably.
After Ami had given her a once over and bandaged her wounds, Makoto had seemed uneasy. Touma hadn't wanted to disturb Ami if she was resting – he had a feeling Mercury would probably come to her friends' aid until she physically couldn't anymore – and so when Nasuti had popped in last night and asked him to support Ryo as their leader dealt with Kayura and Rajura – he'd jumped at the chance to let Nasuti make Makoto comfortable.
She seemed peaceful now. Occasionally, her brows furrowed, but if he took her hand then, she seemed to ease. He liked knowing that he could help her, even when she was sleeping. Touma winced, shifting, trying to get comfortable in his chair. Was this really what Nasuti had been sitting on when she'd tended them?
Maybe it was time to get her some comfy arm chairs.
Makoto was going to need a lot of time to heal, and he was going to end up with a crooked spine if he spent that time living in this chair. He frowned as his mind tipped in a different direction.
When he hadn't been worried about Makoto, he'd spent rest of the time he'd sat wide awake trying to strategize the best way to keep his own Universe safe, and the Senshi safe with it.
He wasn't so naive that he blindly trusted this monster would leave them alone. The Silver Crystal was a vast source of power, and Usagi herself would be a prize for any energy-devouring monster. If it had pulled them all into an alternate dimension, it would have to be aware of their abilities. It had made a hard play for the Crystal, for the Senshi, and not only had they evaded it, but they'd managed to snatch the energy from billions of lives along with them.
That wouldn't go unnoticed.
He felt his mind darken as he recalled the way their last battle in the Underworld had referenced Kikoutei, even though Kikoutei wasn't a thing now. He couldn't help but wonder – had it gone after the Troopers first, but, realizing Kikoutei was no longer in existence, had it then turned its sights on the Senshi?
Had the Troopers been the target first, until the Senshi had been revealed as the better prize?
Touma bit his lip, guilt assailing him as he turned to look back out the window, releasing Makoto's hand.
What if all of this mess had started because a monster from another dimension had come looking for a power that no longer existed, and in that vacuum, had turned to another innocent group of people to strip from them instead?
Still. The armors themselves had the power of Kikoitei. Just…divided between the five of them, so what would have turned its attention away from them?
Touma had to admit, the Silver Crystal seemed like its own potent lure, and he wondered how many battles the Senshi had faced simply because of the power they possessed. Power coveted by dark and greedy creatures with no thought or respect for the lives they tried to destroy to take what didn't belong to them. He rubbed his forehead and groaned, trying to stretch and work out the kinks from his neck.
Yeah, he couldn't sit in this damn chair a minute longer. Touma rose, folding himself onto the floor, and then sprawling onto his back beside the bed, hands tucked beneath his neck as he stared contemplatively at the ceiling. The rush and tumble of his thoughts was giving him a headache now, and he acknowledged that he might be better off trying to catch a little shut-eye.
Letting his own mind run rampant without any outside influence or tempering from others often ended up leaving him at his wits' end. Having a brain that could calculate the many, many terrifying possibilities of any situation might be useful.
But sometimes, it made it damned hard to keep calm.
Touma forced himself be still. It wasn't a comfortable thing for him to do, but he went through several deep breaths, keeping his gaze on the dull white of the ceiling until his heart rate calmed and his headache eased.
He was embarrassed to admit how hard he had to fight not to get up and check on Makoto one more time now that he couldn't see her from this vantage point.
He made himself lay still instead, and continued his breathing exercises.
Gradually, sleep pulled at his eyelids. The strain of using his armor's flight capability so heavily began to make itself known, and he felt the welcomed relief of his muscles relaxing. He was safe. Makoto was safe. The Senshi were safe. Anything else could wait. They all needed rest right now while they had the opportunity.
He let his arms fall to rest on his belly, his fingers interlocked there, and closed his eyes.
He was out nearly instantly.
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Makoto groaned, wondering why she'd been flattened by a bulldozer before bed.
It felt like she'd run a marathon through a road demolition where they'd blown up the roads as she was running on them, while she had the flu. Ugh. She needed some tea. Shifting, she gasped, freezing as pain lit her up, pulsing through her in waves.
Once it subsided, she let herself collapse back to the bed, taking measured, even breaths to calm her body down.
She focused on remembering the last thing that'd happened before bed.
And got hit with the wrecking ball of all of the Underworld, and Everything that had happened After.
She'd never been this disoriented waking up before, she realized, and supposed she hadn't truly rested since before the Underworld. Alarmed, she rose up in bed, ignoring the aches and pains, and listening to the silent house around her.
Where were the other Senshi? Were they ok? Where was everyone?
She turned, and put her feet down on the floor, throwing the covers aside.
The floor grunted, and moved. Makoto yelped, yanking her legs back up and tucking them underneath her. She stared at the edge of the bed suspiciously, wondering what might lay beyond it. There was the sound of cloth rustling, and then a deep male groan.
In a very familiar voice.
Oh no.
Makoto crept to the edge of the bed, and peered over. Sure enough, Touma Hashiba was in the process of rolling over onto his side.
Whoops.
She'd just stepped on Touma.
Makoto sighed, burying her face in the blankets in front of her and trying to recover from her embarrassment. When silence followed, she tilted her head back up again curiously, to take him in.
He'd fallen back asleep.
She'd just put all her weight on her feet and stood up on his belly, and he hadn't even woken up.
Impressive.
And also…she felt herself go warm and fuzzy when she realized that the guy was sleeping on the floor next to her bed…without even a blanket. Crazy man. Makoto shook her head, affection making her feel happy and light for a moment as she turned, grabbing a blanket off the bed, and draping it over his slumbering form with shaking hands.
He snuffled, getting comfortable, and her heart melted a bit more.
Once she was certain he was comfortable and didn't seem any worse for the wear, Makoto eyed the door to the room. The hallway visible through the small crack it had been left open was empty. The house seemed silent, but she could distantly hear someone moving around downstairs.
Her stomach growled then, and she flushed. Might not be a bad idea to get some food into her. She might feel a little less weak and shaky. A little aspirin might not go amiss either. Mission in mind, she stood, careful to avoid Touma where he still lay sleeping, and crept to the door, praying it stayed silent as she opened it.
It made no noise as she let herself out, carefully turning and closing it behind her.
Cautiously, she crept along the hall, pausing at the other mostly closed doors to check in, feeling a bit like a creeper. She found Rei sleeping, and next Minako, Seiji slouched in a chair by her bed. Ami was in the room closest to the stairwell, Usagi across from her and slightly more down the hall.
Everyone seemed to be resting peacefully, and as much as Makoto was anxious to reconnect with them now that they were Somewhere Else, she wanted them to get the sleep they needed first. Everything else could wait.
Her stomach growled again, and she flushed, grateful no one was around to hear it as she crept toward the stairs. Gripping the railing, she took each step slowly, mindful of the sprains and pulls and aches that assailed her as she moved down them.
Man, she was still in bad shape.
She arched, putting her hands at the small of her back and trying to stretch once she hit the bottom. She felt like a hundred-year-old lady. Glumly, she began making her way through the house. She didn't want to intrude, but if her stomach growled any louder she might wake up the entire neighborhood.
After a great deal of shuffling, she finally found the kitchen.
It was lovely, she reflected. Spacious and clean, appliances gleaming in the gorgeous afternoon sunlight that streamed in. She didn't remember a hell of a lot about last night, and felt reluctant just…helping herself. It seemed almost…sacrilegious to violate this space.
Her eyes fell on a small white card on the table, tented atop a tin of cookies.
Please help yourselves to anything you need!
I'm not far, so if you need help, just call out to me!
I hope you're all feeling better!
~Nasuti
Makoto felt her gaze softening. Their hostess seemed very sweet. Resolved not to disturb the woman any more than they already had, Makoto moved toward the fridge. She gripped the handle and braced to pull it open –
" – Hey! You're awake!"
Makoto gasped audibly, lurching forward in surprise, her head banging into the fridge door even as she curled her fingers in the ragged material over her heart, certain it was about to burst from her chest. She straightened as quickly as she was able – which was about at the pace of a feeble old lady – and then turned with equal slow stiffness to take in Shin Mouri with wide eyes, one hand on her head, one hand over her heart.
His own eyes widened, and he rushed over to her, hands out.
"I'm so sorry!" he said, putting a hand carefully on her shoulder.
Makoto panted, trying to catch her breath. "No – no worries!" she gasped, letting him steer her into a seat at the table. "Guess I'm just a little jumpy," she added contritely. He was hovering, staring at her as if he expected her to keel over. She waved a hand at him. "I'm good, promise. Whew." She tried to give him a cheerful smile.
"Sorry about that. I thought I was the only one up," he said apologetically, moving to the electric kettle. She watched him refill it and turn it on, his movements tense, not matching his jovial expression. He turned to face her again. "What can I get you? You must be hungry," he said empathetically.
Makoto rubbed her belly as it growled again, and then flushed a bit, embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. I could do with something to eat. I didn't want to disturb anyone though," she said. Shin smiled at her again, but this time it seemed more genuine. Almost as if he were relieved to be helpful.
"Great! What would you like?" he asked, moving to the fridge. Makoto blinked. What would she like? She had no idea. Food. She'd like food. She'd been living off boxed and canned goods for so long, she barely remembered what might be stored in a fridge.
At her bewildered silence, he turned to look back at her over his shoulder. "Are you ok?" he asked. Makoto flushed again, rubbing at her neck nervously.
"Ah yeah, sorry. I guess I just don't even know what I want to eat. I'm hungry enough to eat the first thing I see," she said, eyeing the tin of cookies on the table. Shin's expression softened into something compassionate.
"That's ok. I'll make something tasty, how's that?" he said softly. Makoto smiled at him.
"Oh! I don't want to be any trouble!" she said, not knowing how she felt about watching someone else cook for her. She always did the cooking. She'd been cooking since she was a kid. Shin's eyes crinkled as he gave her a friendly look briefly over his shoulder.
"It's no trouble. I was about to make something for myself," he reassured her. She bobbed her head.
"In that case, anything you make will be just fine. Thank you very much," she replied.
They settled into a companionable silence. It was comforting to watch him work. His muscular forearms flexed as he cut, prepped and then loaded the pan. It was a little strange to remember the strength of those arms wielding the Suiko Yari so efficiently when they were doing something so domestic now.
The scent of searing meat and roasting vegetables made her mouth water in short order. It sure smelled like he knew how to cook. As he turned, tending to something, she caught sight of the gigantic pan on the stove. Uh oh. How hungry did he think she was?! Maybe he was really hungry. That wouldn't surprise her, honestly. She was willing to bet the Troopers probably ate a lot, to keep up muscles like that.
Embarrassed by the direction of her own thoughts, Makoto turned, looking out the window. The sun was so nice. It'd been missing for so long she'd forgotten how warm and bright it was. Outside, trees gently rustled with a soft breeze, and now she suddenly wanted to be outside, standing in it with them, digging her toes in the grass.
She twitched, thinking to get up, and her body protested, sending crashing back into herself all at once. Maybe she'd need to postpone the nature excursion, as badly as she might want it right now. She closed her eyes instead, envisioning herself standing outside in that sun, feeling the warm breeze caress her face.
"Mako-chan!"
"AACK!" Makoto grabbed at her heart again, jumping so hard her chair tilted back at a dangerous angle. She felt the lurching sensation of weightlessness before competent hands caught her chair back and straightened it. She looked up at Shin to see him staring at an alarmed looking Touma with narrowed eyes.
"Are you trying to give us all a heart attack?" Suiko muttered. She noticed he continued to hover near her protectively until Touma came over to take his place. The blue-haired man hovered even more fiercely than Shin had, moving behind her and dropping his hands on her shoulders, massaging gently, almost absently.
"Sorry Mako-chan. I woke up and the bed was empty. I guess I panicked a little," he confessed guiltily.
She done her fair share of panicking earlier, so she couldn't really fault him. She reached up and patted his hand on her shoulder, letting him know he shouldn't feel bad. He continued to massage, his thumbs reaching up and rubbing at the base of her neck, and Makoto's heart calmed.
Another few minutes and she started to forget where she was, her eyelids drooping as her muscles began to relax. He could keep doing that forever, as far as she was concerned. The relaxation slowly began working its way down her back, muscle by muscle, her body calming and easing.
"Lunch is ready!"
Shin's voice snapped her awake. She was mortified to discover she'd been purring like some kind of cat, slumped over in her seat. She straightened, trying to discreetly check her chin for drool, but Touma stayed where he was, one hand gently clasping the nape of her neck in a protective, almost possessive hold that was beginning to give her…ideas.
A giant bowl of noodles and stir-fry landed on the table in front of her with two empty bowls and two sets of chopsticks. It was followed by two gently steaming bowls of wakame soup and two cups of tea. Makoto's eyes widened and she tilted her gaze up to Shin.
He was giving Touma an odd look, but smiled at her cheerfully when he realized she'd looked up. "Enjoy!" he said. He was carrying a tray laden with two modest sized bowls of the same lunch, complete with soup and tea as well. Makoto frowned.
"I can't possibly eat all this!" she protested. Shin grinned at her, tipping his head over her shoulder at Touma.
"Of course not. But that one behind you can," he said good-naturedly. Makoto blinked up at Touma. He met her gaze with a warm stare of his own for a moment, as if he were unable to contain his emotions at the mere sight of her.
She must be imagining that though, right?
The expression terminated in a grin then, and he gestured at the table. "Ladies first," he said. Shin rolled his eyes.
"Make sure you get enough to eat before he works his way through it," he advised her as he left the kitchen. Touma gave her shoulders a final squeeze, patting them before dropping into the seat beside her with a causal grace she admired. Her gaze was drawn to his hands as he began dishing up noodles, remembering their strength as he'd expertly worked the knots from her muscles mere moments ago.
Heat bloomed in her cheeks and she cleared her throat as he piled food onto her plate eagerly. She put a hand out. "Whoa there! That's plenty!" she assured him, wondering how she was going to finish what he'd dished up.
He paused, furrowing his brow at her. "Are you sure? You need energy Mako-chan."
Now her heart was thumping for an entirely different reason. She nodded, mutely, trying to calm herself down. "Yeah. I haven't been eating much really. That's way more than what I normally have," she said, smiling and putting a hand up. His furrow turned into a concerned frown.
"You really need to make sure you're getting enough calories. You need to keep yourself fed so your body can heal. Do you feel ok? You look a bit flushed." He lowered the hand that had been serving and pressed the other one against her forehead.
"You don't feel warm," he muttered, putting down his utensils and putting his other hand against his own forehead.
If she hadn't already been in love with him, she definitely was now. He was adorable. Sweet. Caring. Compassionate. Attentive.
Noble. Strong. Courageous.
Her eyes filled as memory slammed into her at high-impact velocity. She started to shake as her mind replayed a scene she would never forget for the rest of her life – the moment her view of certain, terrifying death had been disrupted by a tall man in blue armor, literally flying to her rescue.
She had no idea how he'd found her. No idea how he'd managed to get to her, but she didn't really care. Touma Hashiba had come for her like the knight in shining armor she'd been dreaming about since she was a kid and a single, fateful plane trip had left her sitting alone in a hospital room.
She'd been on her own for so long.
The Senshi had been the first people who'd managed to get past her rough exterior and love her anyway. But she'd always viewed herself as taking care of them, not the other way around. Not that she'd minded. The fact that she'd had people who cared about her, wanted to be near her, had been so precious Makoto had felt nothing but contentment and satisfaction doing what she could to look after them, protect them, and do her best to make sure they were happy.
But this time, she hadn't been doing the rescuing.
Someone else had rescued her. Somebody had fought for her.
Just having Shin cook her lunch had been a bit emotional. But this…this was different.
Watching Touma as he frowned, trying to figure out if she had a fever, urging her to eat, remembering the way he'd massaged the tension from her muscles…the gentle and caring touch of his hands, the concern on his face…
How could she not love him?
She had nothing left right now. But Makoto was good at making something from nothing. She always had been. Her specialty was finding a way to turn any tragedy on its head. She was eternally optimistic, probably to her own detriment, but she didn't know how to be any other way. This situation was no different.
She'd failed at saving her world, and the burden of that threatened to pull her under, but she'd come out of this trauma with her family intact, unlike the others. The Senshi were her sisters, and they were safe, and here with her. She'd lost friends. And so many others, but she hadn't really lost the people most important to her. And she'd gained something.
This time, Makoto had gained. A whole new set of friends.
This time, coming out of tragedy, for the first time ever, she'd gained.
She'd gained a Touma. And Makoto had never, in her life, had a Touma.
The moisture in her eyes spilled over, and his expression went from thoughtful concern to outright alarm. "What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurting?" he rambled at her, rising from his chair.
She tried to get herself under control, but the show of concern on his part only seemed to goad her emotion higher. "S-Sorry. I'm ok. I don't know why I'm crying," she sniffled, trying in vain to wipe at her eyes. His expression softened into something tender then as he crouched beside her.
"Makoto," he murmured, his tone pulsing with an emotion she couldn't identify. He straightened then, standing beside her, leaning down to wrap his arms around her shoulders. Makoto put her hands on his arms, not sure if she were trying to reassure him or keep him there.
"I –," she hiccupped, trying to get herself under control. "I'm ok," she repeated. Nearly as soon as she said it, a font of tears seemed to burst out of her as if released from a dam, and she buried her face in her hands, trying to contain it.
She was ok.
How could she be ok when so many people weren't, and it was her fault?
How could she sit here thinking about how lucky she was to have Touma when so many people would never see their loved ones again?
What was wrong with her?
She cried harder.
Strong arms came around her, gently guiding her face toward a soft, cloth covered surface. She tangled her fingers in Touma's shirt, heedless of any damage she might be doing, and wept her heart out.
She had no idea how long they stayed like that, but when she'd calmed enough to come back to reality, she realized she had a terrible headache. She felt awful. Their food was no longer steaming. Poor Touma.
He was still holding her, the fingers of one hand gently tangled in her hair, keeping her pressed against him, lightly massaging her scalp. The other hand had resumed its perch where her shoulder met her neck, and rubbed with light affection. He was almost too much. The idea of him was almost too much to process for her right now.
"S-sorry," she murmured weakly. He snorted, and she felt the muscles beneath her ear tense briefly with the noise.
"For what?" he asked, the sound of his voice a pleasant vibration beneath her cheek, low and soothing. She shrugged, unable to articulate all the reasons she was sorry.
Sorry she'd ruined lunch.
Sorry he'd had to save her.
Sorry she was now a burden on him – on the Troopers.
Sorry she'd failed humanity.
Just sorry.
"Mako-chan. You don't have any reason to be sorry," he said softly, crouching again so they were eye to eye. She couldn't hold eye contact and dropped her ashamed gaze to her lap. His eyes were so intense. They saw right through her, and Makoto didn't know if she could stand something so piercing at the moment.
He was so good. He'd rescued her. She'd failed everyone.
She had no business mooning over him. She'd forgotten herself for a moment.
"Makoto." At his hardened tone, her eyes jerked back up to meet his. Almost immediately, his face softened, a hand reaching up to cup her jaw gently. "There. That's better," he said quietly. He smiled at her sweetly, and then the smile fell from his face.
"I'm going to say this now, and I'm going to keep saying it until I know you believe it. You are not at fault."
When she opened her mouth to argue, he put his fingers to her lips gently, shaking his head.
"Yeah, Makoto, I understand. I know you feel like it's your fault. But you are not at fault. You were abducted into a different dimension, and spent your time there battling for your life. There's only one entity that deserves blame for this, and I intend to hold it accountable. That entity is definitely not you."
He wasn't smiling now. Something dark and full of rage flickered behind his eyes for a moment and was gone. She shivered briefly; grateful she'd never been on the receiving end of that sort of temper.
His gaze bored into her own then, not giving her any way to escape. She let his words settle over her and closed her eyes, furrowing her brow as she really let herself think about them.
Maybe logically…she agreed with him.
Emotionally? She was still a wreck. She opened her eyes and tried to let herself soak up the compassion in his. He studied her intently for a moment, gaze searching. His lips curved upward just slightly then, his expression dissolving into something tender.
"I won't ever let you fall again," he promised quietly.
Makoto felt his vow resonate inside of her, her eyes watering again.
"Thank you," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to hold back the tears that still wanted to fall. He pulled her close then, surrounding her with his arms, tucking her against him.
"You don't have to thank me for that," he murmured. Then he smiled against the crown of her head. "All part of the service," he quipped. She laughed tearily, gripping the material of his shirt in tense fingers. He held her like that for a moment. Strong. Sure. Letting her feel safe and cared for.
Gradually, he pulled back, looking down at her with that same intense but tender expression in his eyes.
"Let's eat, ok? You really do need fuel. You'll feel better, all right?" he encouraged her softly. She nodded, wiping roughly beneath her eyes. Touma cupped her face in his hands, moving hers aside, and with a touch far gentler than her own, caressed beneath her eyes with his thumbs.
He rose, leaning forward and kissing her forehead before resuming his own seat. Makoto flushed again, and turned her gaze to the massive amount of food he'd dished up for her, doubtful she'd get much past a few mouthfuls.
She put the first bite to her lips and pushed it in, willing herself to chew and swallow.
The taste hit her mouth immediately, and her stomach growled. It was delicious. It was exactly what she needed. She began shoveling in bites as fast as she could manage, clearing her bowl in record time. Was this what Usagi felt like all the time?
She went for the soup next, slurping it up in nearly two swallows. Finally, she went for her tea, sitting back in a slump against her chair as she digested, sipping leisurely.
Touma was staring at her.
Her eyes went wide and her face went red, but he only smiled at her indulgently. "Told you," he said with a wink, turning his attention back to his own meal.
Makoto sighed, put a hand to her chest, and rubbed gently.
Yep.
He was in there now.
Touma Hashiba had worked his way in. And he felt permanent now.
She couldn't say she was very upset about it.
