Ugh. No matter how many times I rewrite this chapter it's always way too much. I'm sorry or you're welcome. LOL.

Chapter 40

Minako knew she didn't want to move. She still felt groggy, but somehow, she was aware that moving was a not good, very bad idea. The urgency to know where she was and what was happening thrummed through her veins.

What she did know was that there weren't any monsters trying to eat her right now, so something had changed. In fact, whatever she was laying on was soft and comfortable. The air didn't smell like rank decay. It smelled like sunshine and fresh air and green things.

Her memories were fractured, but numerous, and one in particular kept firing across her brain – that of her body colliding hard with a pane of glass before soaring out into empty space and then plunging down in a seemingly endless, terrifying free fall.

And then, watching with horror as Makoto leapt through the broken window after her.

It had been bad enough, falling to her death, but to know Makoto had opted to save her or die trying…she shuddered.

That memory had repeated itself endlessly on a loop in her brain – the pain, the terror, the weightlessness – she kept reliving the moment over and over.

Then the memory of having her throat crushed, of that thing's awful bite…the horror of feeling her energy flowing out of her, the agony that ricocheted through her body as it devoured her – joined the cycle, and truthfully, had been so horrific the terror had woken her from sleep.

She didn't want to relive it any time soon, but she was grateful that it had gotten so bad it had broken the cycle.

But now that she was awake, she had a different set of problems.

Everything hurt. Movement was agony.

The awful memories fed into the trauma, keeping her paralyzed where she lay. At least the bed was comfortable, but Minako knew she couldn't just lay here locked in her own mental struggle. She closed her eyes, trying to focus, trying to find an anchor, and inhaled sharply, snapping them open again when the vision of a mouth full of nasty teeth came at her behind her eyelids.

Okay. No meditation right now.

She tried to move her mind in a different direction, forcing her thoughts toward what had happened after she'd been tossed out the window.

There had been Touma, saving them at the last second like some kind of superhero. That was a good memory. Minako held onto it, trying to work it up in her mind. It was difficult. So much of his rescue still bore the heavy mark of terror, of not knowing whether he would reach them in time.

Minako shied away from that, and forced herself to remember instead that amazing moment he and Makoto had linked fingers. The awe on her face, the relief on his.

The way he'd held her, cradling her against him, as if she might be the most precious thing in the world to him.

Hmmm. Mako-chan's love life was a much, much better show to watch. And it made her feel good, to know that someone was looking out for Makoto now. Her stunt diving through the window might be an extreme example, but that girl was constantly jumping in front of cars and putting her life at risk without thought.

Good Luck dealing with that, Touma, she thought. Poor guy probably didn't realize exactly what he was taking on yet, but Minako trusted that he was more than equal to the task. The Samurai Troopers were a very different breed of guy, and she was happy to be surprised by their personalities.

Unbidden, her mind drifted to Seiji.

Handsome, cool, reserved. Noble, chivalrous, protective. He really was like a prince charming. She sighed when she thought about the way he'd simply burst in and swept her off her feet.

It was fun to think about him in an off-beat romantic fantasy way.

But the reality of Seiji…was much, much different. Better in so many ways. But he presented her with a problem she didn't quite know how to solve. He was everything she looked for in a guy, everything she'd dreamed about. But now that her fantasy had become reality, she had no idea how to handle it.

The way he cared about her. The way he'd told her outright he wanted to be there for her. Those were heavy emotions – real commitments – and she knew someone like Seiji took things like that seriously.

She felt as if she could never, ever live up to his level. Seiji was classy and sophisticated. Minako could be those things, but even she had to admit she often opened her mouth just wide enough to put her foot in it. What would happen six months down the line when he realized he'd promised to always be there for a complete goof? Minako shied away from the imagined rejection.

Plus, there was the whole cursed in love thing she had going.

…Maybe she was better off just keeping her romantic fantasy as a fantasy and letting Seiji find someone as elegant as he was. Probably Rei, though Minako was pretty sure Shin had a thing for the priestess. He was so adorable too – Minako didn't know how anyone could tell that face no.

And now she was irritated with her own thoughts. The wall she'd been staring at for the better part of twenty minutes didn't offer her any answers. Huffing a sigh, Minako closed her eyes again, trying to let sleep claim her.

And leapt up into a sitting position, fingers tangling in the material over her heart as the monster from her memories was waiting right there, behind her eyes. Minako shook, fighting through the ache and the agony as she tried to get her panic under control.

No sleeping, she thought. No more sleeping. Her heart continued to thud against her ribs, and now every time she blinked, that thing was waiting for her. The shaking intensified as memories overtook her waking vision, and awake or asleep, she was trapped again, struggling, falling, the weightlessness making her nauseous.

She tried to remind herself that she was safe, that she wasn't trapped someplace dark any longer, but it felt like a lie after the long memories of being hunted, of sleeping in shifts, eating what they managed to scrounge up – the terror of not knowing if Ami and Rei would be ok, if the next thing that came at her from the darkness would be the last thing she saw –

She couldn't breathe now, terror was crushing the air from her lungs –

"Minako!"

She jumped, letting out a little shriek, the twitching movement sending agony cascading along her spine, but suddenly two gentle hands – human hands – were cupping the sides of her face, focusing her gaze, turning her head from the closed door at the foot of the bed and what might lay beyond it, shadows that –

She met the eye of Seiji Date, and immediately felt some of the panic crumble to dust and fade away. His face was fierce, but as he held her stare, the fierceness in it gentled, softening.

"There you are. Stay right here with me, ok? Just stay right here. Breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out," he encouraged her gently. She kept her stare locked in his own as she forced her lungs to even out, following his instructions, even as she tried to understand what was happening. She was safe. She wasn't trapped somewhere. She wasn't falling now.

She let herself get lost for a moment in the intensity of his gaze. Seiji had come for her. The Troopers had come for them. She closed her eyes then, swallowing hard, trying to push past the terror and the pain. Trying to make herself be ok, even if she wasn't.

Battle after battle still battered her mind, each one ending in narrower and narrower escapes for she and Makoto. They understood that eventually their time and luck would run out, but neither of them knew what would happen then, save that it would be awful.

She started to shake again, harder this time, her nerve endings setting up an awful clamor with the vibration. She wasn't ok.

She wasn't ok.

But she didn't want to break down in front of Seiji. Somehow that seemed worse. She was safe, but she didn't feel safe, and she didn't want Seiji to know that. It was important to her, that he trust her. That he have confidence in her ability to lead. Her ability to be strong.

She needed to feel strong right now. Needed to feel in control. Like she could face anything that the world might throw at her. Even though she wasn't strong, not at all. She was so weak.

So weak.

Fed by her anxiety, her shaking intensified, her breaths shortening again until she was back on the verge of hyperventilating, feeling hunted even though there was nothing hunting her. She tried to curl up, but everything hurt, and she could barely move, the pain ricocheting off of her out of control emotions until she was so terrified and in so much pain she didn't care what anyone thought of her, she just wanted it to stop.

"Seiji," she gasped, fumbling for him blindly, desperate for an anchor.

There was a muffled curse, and she managed to find his gaze then, watching as his eye closed, his expression furrowing as if in agony. He cupped her face again, using the hold to gently keep her in place as he touched their foreheads together.

"You're safe Minako. I'm right here," he whispered, his lips moving against her brow. She closed her eyes then, still shaking, hating that she needed that reassurance. The wetness leaked silently from her eyes as he kissed her forehead and gently, so gently, his own hands trembling, pulled her close. He tucked her against him, beneath his chin, secure, the embrace making her feel as if there were nothing that could reach her.

He made quiet noises in his throat, rubbing her back with a light touch, his body still and calm despite the tremble that didn't seem to leave his hands. She focused on the rise and fall of his chest against her side, the heavy, rapid pounding of his heart, and slowly felt the tension inside of her begin to unravel.

She wasn't dreaming. The Troopers' rescue hadn't been some death-inspired illusion designed to give her peace at the very end. Seiji was real, he was alive, he was warm, and he was holding her. She was safe. Her eyes filled, her throat closed, and she tried to swallow around the knife that felt as if it had lodged there.

"You're real," she whispered. "You're not a dream." Saying it out loud helped even more, but it seemed to push the tears out of her too. She struggled against them, not wanting to cry in front of him, not wanting to look weak, but they fell just the same, and she gasped with the intensity of the emotion trying to leave her body.

Seiji held her tighter, making an odd noise in his chest.

"I'm real. You're not dreaming, I promise," he echoed her, voice like crushed glass over stone, one large hand reaching up to cup her cheek and hold it against his chest. His thumb followed the line of her jaw with a feather-light caress as the rest of his fingers began moving upward, massaging the underside of where her skull met her neck.

She realized then she'd been hunching her shoulders up, and tried to force her muscles to relax. Sleep pulled at her again as she let the tension leave her body, her eyelids drooping, but her memory was waiting, a jaguar in a dark forest, to leap at her the moment she let her guard down.

She flinched bodily away from it, snapping her eyes back open, gasping as the movement set up a clamor in sore muscles and joints.

"What is it?" he murmured, alarmed, hold going from gentle and relaxing to tense and limber. Minako tried to pat his arm reassuringly, but her hands were shaking again.

"Sorry. I just…I'm having…I…Maybe sleep isn't…a good idea right now," she admitted reluctantly. He cursed again, softly, and she blinked wide eyes at the wall in front of her. It was strange to hear him using language like that, and she wondered what had driven him to it.

"You need rest," he replied firmly. Minako curled into herself, tangling her fingers in his shirt.

"I know," she replied in a small voice. She turned her face into his chest and confessed without thinking," I'm afraid of the dark right now."

He squeezed her shoulders, shifting her so that he was holding her more securely against him. They sank into silence for a moment, and he sighed, and Minako worried she'd upset him somehow.

And then a pair of lips buried themselves against the crown of her head, and Seiji laid a sweet, gentle kiss there.

Her brain short circuited even as her body turned to mush with the affection. It abandoned prospects of trying to torture her with monsters and instead squirreled about frantically over what had just happened.

That kiss in the cemetery hadn't been just a…thing.

The vows he'd made while she'd been half conscious and trying to hang on as they drifted a thousand feet above a wrecked landscape had been real. She'd resolved not to take his affection seriously, but apparently Seiji was taking it very seriously.

Without thought, she cuddled closer to him, rubbing her cheek absently against the incredibly soft material of the shirt he wore.

He was so…everything.

What on earth did a reserved, classy guy like Seiji see in a woman like her? A woman who couldn't even keep herself together over some stupid monsters.

He hadn't moved, she realized. He was still sitting here with her, lips against her hair, lavishing her with sweet affection she didn't understand.

And right now, she couldn't really think about it. She was too tired to analyze what was happening. This felt too good. She was warm, her body relaxing again. She felt safe, she realized she trusted Seiji to look out for her, to keep her safe. This new information was one step too far, and her brain simply shut off, unable to process it.

Experimentally, she closed her eyes, releasing a happy sigh when nothing happened.

Seiji shifted, resting his cheek against her head.

"I've got you," he murmured. "You're not going anywhere. I won't let anything happen to you." He cradled her, and tucked against him, Minako savored the sensation of being so completely supported by someone else. Her eyes stayed shut now, peace settling around her as she felt herself go totally limp in his arms.

"Better," he whispered against her hair. He sounded calm but she could feel a fierce tremble running through him as they simply sat together, unmoving. The arm across her waist uncurled, sliding across her own before carefully cupping her smaller hand in his large one. He squeezed, and Minako clumsily wove their fingers together. He huffed a soft breath against her hair, shifting, joining their hands together more securely before resting them in her lap.

Enveloped by him, the aches and pain faded into background noise as she savored the sensation of feeling safe. She dozed for awhile, gradually becoming aware of the fact that he was still trembling behind her, his face buried against the crown of her head, the muscles in his arms tense even as his hold was gentle.

"Seiji?" she slurred drowsily, wanting to ensure he was ok.

"You're all right. You're safe," he whispered against her hair, holding her tighter. Minako blinked, wondering if she'd somehow sounded distressed just then. Smiling weakly, she patted their joined hands.

"Thanks to you," she murmured.

He shifted, resting his chin against her head, shaking harder. She blinked down at their hands, watching the vibration of his fingers uncertainly. What was wrong?

Seiji was not all right.

"Seiji?" she tried again, mustering more energy to give her tone a firmness it had been lacking.

"Sorry," he choked, "Sorry. I'm—" He held her more tightly, shaking still harder. Minako realized then how broken up he was, how desperately he was clinging to her. She hadn't expected this. He was always so calm, so reserved. She'd half expected him to lose patience with her show of emotion.

Not knowing what to do, still feeling groggy and overwhelmed, she rubbed his hand where it lay entangled with her other one, trying to soothe, still not sure what was going on.

"Please just…I just need…" he whispered, simply holding her, curled around her, arm tucking her securely against him. His hand held hers securely, but occasionally his fingers twitched, as if he struggled to be still.

They sat like that for several moments, his face buried in her hair, keeping her tucked against him, as the trembling weaving through his limbs gradually slowed.

"I thought I would be ok," he murmured low in the stillness, "...now that you're here. We found you, we'd rescued you, and you were alive…But every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing you, just….hanging in air, right outside that broken window, nothing beneath you. Helpless and terrified. And if we had been even one minute later, if Touma hadn't made it to you – And I didn't know if you'd survived –" he cut himself off and Minako stared helplessly at the wall in front of her as she tried to figure out how to help him. This was a raw and vulnerable side of him she'd never seen before.

"And you looked so scared just now, and I—I don't know how to help you, don't know what you need and – " he cut himself off, "I can't imagine what you've been through…" he started to shake again.

Oh.

Seiji…didn't just like her.

A girl would have to be an idiot to misunderstand what was happening right now.

She'd scared Seiji.

The big, fearsome samurai had been terrified. For her.

Which had to mean, and she congratulated herself on being able to put this together, that he might have big, strong feelings for her. Feelings that went very far past the cutsey playground sentiment of like.

She shied away from the other big L word. It was here, but that was too much right now. Their shared kiss had been…sweet, but she hadn't realized that it had marked such a depth of emotion in him. All the time she'd spent trying to impress him and feeling less than her best, his feelings had deepened.

Her crush hadn't been one sided at all.

So she let herself understand exactly how much he meant to her now. She wasn't sure – not entirely – how deep her emotions ran towards him, but she could feel a deep well of affection for him. And really, what was the harm in giving comfort back?

Peaceful for the first time in a long time, warmth moving through her sore, tired muscles, she sighed, settling against him.

"Shhhh," she whispered, squeezing their interlocked fingers. "You found me. I'm safe now," she reassured him, saying the words out loud going a long way towards soothing the jagged edges of her own fear. His fingers clenched carefully around her own, his hand somehow managing to envelop her smaller one, cradling her grip.

To mean that much to someone….

She closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of his embrace.

His trembling stopped again, and she nestled her body against him, willing some of the peace he'd given her back into him.

"I'm safe now," she repeated.

She felt him settle with more ease against her.

"We killed them. Those monsters are dead and aren't ever going to hurt you or anyone else again," he muttered into her hair. Minako let out a relieved breath.

"They're dead," she repeated, "And I'm safe now." He made a small sound in the back of his throat, body tensing briefly before he settled again, muscles easing.

"You're safe now. You're here with me. And you're safe now," his tone was more soothing – calmer – back to comforting them both as he took up the mantra that had been passed back and forth between them. Minako let herself be lulled into deeper relaxation, the pain a sharp buzz at the edge of her drowsy senses.

"Safe," she whispered.

They sat for some time, both of them soaking up the hard-won quiet, but gradually she became too aware of her own discomfort, shifting absently to try and ease it– to try and keep the pain bearable. Wincing, she attempted to turn slightly, unable to stop from groaning as she moved.

"You're hurting." Seiji's voice had gone tense again, his voice strained. "I'll get you something. I'll be right back," he assured her, gently setting her back on the bed.

And then he was gone. Minako sat in the heavy silence that followed, reminding herself that she was ok, she was alive, and there weren't any monsters here.

It didn't work very well.

Unable to be alone one more second lest the memories return and undo Seiji's hard work, she ignored the weakness that pushed through her, and kicked her legs over the side of the bed. Then she was standing. Then she was moving. With agonizing slowness, but she was moving.

She made her way to the hall, and was standing at the top of the stairs, trying to figure out how to get down them without hurting herself when a voice startled her.

"Whoa, hey! Minako, hang on a second." Minako turned as a pair of hands halted her progress and then gently swept her up. She studied Ryo Sanada's face as he carried her down, grateful he didn't try to shuttle her back off to her room.

He was terribly handsome, she thought. But more than that, he'd been looking out for Ami, and for that alone, she liked him very much.

She must be loopy if she was thinking about silly things like that.

He carried her into a sunlit room with a comfortable-looking sofa. And lots of windows. On the ground floor. She instantly felt better. He settled her with the utmost of care, but she was unable to hide the wince that crawled across her face. He crouched beside her, empathy in his expression.

"You doing ok?" he asked kindly, putting a hand on her knee.

Minako tried to smile for him, but had a feeling it didn't come out right. Ryo rose, and then surprised her when he sat next to her. Carefully, he placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him for a moment. He was warm she realized, more so than normal, but it felt amazing sinking into her bones. He wasn't Seiji, but the warmth of another human, a caring human, still helped so much. They sat in silence for a moment, Minako soaking in the comfort of just being near someone she trusted. At last, Ryo shifted, sighing.

"Thanks Sanada," she murmured, sure he was antsy to get back to whatever he'd been up to when he'd stopped to carry her downstairs.

"Minako," he began carefully, and she wondered why he sounded so serious.

"I know things are bad right now. I can't even…I can't…what you're going through is awful. But we're here, ok? And I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. And if you need anything, seriously, just call, and any of us will hear you, ok? You're not ...maybe don't try things like stairs for a little while."

Minako felt herself tear up again even as she chuckled weakly. He was clearly uncomfortable with emotions, but he wanted her to know that he was here. What a mush. He stiffened suddenly.

"Crap, there goes Seiji. Let me grab him before he has a corollary," he muttered. He rose, careful not to jostle her, and turned, giving her a quick, gentle hug. "Rest ok? You're safe now," he urged, turning and hustling from the room just as a surprised noise sounded upstairs. She watched Ryo curse and bolt up the stairs, amusement filling her momentarily.

Carefully, she leaned back against the couch, settling into the cushions gently. She spent the next several moments watching the world go by outside the window, feeling at ease as she watched the birds as the wind ruffled the leaves in the trees.

"Minako…?"

She turned at the sound of Seiji's voice, so tentative. He was carrying a tray bearing a gently steaming pot and mug of tea. She tried to smile for him, but the pain was beginning to grow overwhelming.

"What is it?" he asked softly, setting the tray on the table in front of the couch and gently seating himself beside her. She watched him fuss with the tea on it and something else. She swallowed, flicking her gaze back to the birds for a second.

"After you left, I –" her voice was so hoarse. Was that really her? "I didn't want to be alone, so I took a walk," she admitted. Seiji made a noise beside her.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, but she didn't really know what he was apologizing for, so she simply shrugged and gave him a tired smile. He turned fully then, presenting her with a set of pills and a warm mug of tea. Minako felt her body light up. Eager, she took both from him carefully, swallowing first the pills and taking a good sip of tea after.

It tasted amazing. Maybe it was the first decent thing she'd had in forever. Maybe Seiji just made excellent tea. Either way, she downed half the mug, and then finished the rest in short order.

"Oh," she breathed out, suddenly sleepy," that was wonderful Seiji, Thank you." He smiled at her, and she leaned against him, letting herself relax again as she waited for the medicine to work its magic. He produced a blanket from thin air, wrapping her in it securely. Warm and safe, she dozed against his shoulder.

"Would you like to go back to bed?" she startled at the quiet sound of his voice.

Minako sighed, sleepily.

"In a minute. I just want to see the sun for a bit. It's been so long," she slurred.

She was out in the next moment, the sun shining on her shoulders, as she lay against Seiji Date.