(South Park Intro Plays.)
Les Claypool: I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time!
Stan and Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere! Humble Folks without temptation!
Les Claypool: Going down to South Park! Gonna leave my woes behind!
Cartman: Ample parking day or night, People spouting howdy neighbor!
Les Claypool: Heading on out to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind!
Kenny: (I like girls with big fat titties! I like girls with deep vaginas!)
Les Claypool: So c'mon down to South Park and meet some Friends of mine!
We open up with Tegrity Farms, The relaxing theme plays in the background as Randy Marsh rides his tractor through the weed fields while he smokes.
Randy: Ah, Nuthin but good old fashioned Tegridy, Weed can't solve everything… unless it's so god damn Tegridy folks, no sir re, there's nothing quite like. It. any… where…
As Randy had bean monologuing, He drove his Tractor into a pure white void of nothing, which broke him out of his intoxicated stuber.
Randy: Uh… Hello? Where's the background?
A large pencil suddenly appeared and quickly scribbled and colored in the background.
Randy: Yes, this is the only life of a…
Randy suddenly realized the Background wasn't Tegridy Farms, Instead, it was some kind of… medieval fantasy world, like lord of the rings or game of thrones.
Randy: Okay… I can see we're going in a different direction here… Tractor feels out of place now.
In the blink of an eye, The tractor and Randy were changed to match the time period, Randy was dressed in his stick of truth attire and the tractor was now a horse.
Randy: Ah hell yeah, much better! Onward steed, HYAH!
Randy kicked his horse into motion dn the raced off to adventure.
Randy: ON word Tally Ho! The land of Zaron must not fall! Evil shall not flourish this day! Or any… day…
Randy suddenly stopped in his tracks as the background changed again, This time to the streets of London, Randy gave the animator a foul look before getting off his horse and walking off screen.
He returned soon enough, this time discarding the Horse and dressed as Sherlock Holmes.
Randy: The streets of London are not safe tonight, the shadows are abode with the most wonton of crime, the case tonight now brings us…
Once again the background changed again, this time to an ancient Egyptian setting.
Randy: God damn it can we not make up our goddamn minds?!
And Randy stalked back out of sight and came back dressed as a Hewbrew slave.
Randy: Deliver us! Hear our call! Deliver us! From these years of slavery grown to cruel to… stand…
And the scene… was new blank.
Randy: Okay Buddy, What the hell is going on? Do you not understand the concept of a cartoon? Or consistantcy? It's a little something in the entertainment business that makes sure the story-
As Randy spoke, A large eraser suddenly erased him entirely.
Randy: Alright you son of a bitch, Where am I?
The Pencil drew Randy back into existence, But this time, He was dressed as a Rockstar! He tried to strum his guitar, but instead of strings sounding, a large steam whistle was heard that shook Randy up, Completely taken aback, he gingerly plucked a cord and than a duck quacking was heard, fed up with the nonsense, He threw it to the ground, But instead of the sound of breaking into pieces, there came the sound of falling rocks, Randy picked up the pieces and walked offscreen, He came back dressed in his standard design and nearly spoke, But only the sound of a foghorn came out of his mouth, He quickly covered and tried again, this time archive audio of Nazi Germany came out! He covered his mouth again, He let out a small sound of a fart coming from his mouth, then tried to speak again, this time the sound of R2-D2 came out.
Thoroughly fed up, Randy's eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets, And then he jumped about and screamed at the top of his lungs like Daffy Duck!
Randy: AND I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL MY LIFE!
He slapped his face around and spoke again, this time it was his normal voice.
Randy: Alright buddy, What the fuck is going on here? Is it too much to ask to give me something consistent to work on? How about a script?
The Pencil drew him a script and he took it.
Randy: Oh thanks, Ahem, Page 1, Randy is riding his tractor through the Weed fields of Tegrity Farms.
The Pencil then drew Randy as the seat which he sat down in.
Randy: Oh thank you. Page 2, Randy remonises the greatness of Tegridy.
Then a cup of lemonade appeared in Randy's hand.
Randy: Oh how nice, Page 3, Randy falls in a hole. AH!
The Pencil drew a hole while Randy spoke and he fell right into it! Then he climbed out of it.
Randy: What the hell dude, I wasn't even on set yet! Listen pal, I'm the main focus of this episode, me! No one else! So if you wanna lose your job! You get to work drawing something for me to do in this episode right now!
The pencil then drew the background of outer space.
Randy: Hey isn't space something Family Guy would normally do?
Randy was then smacked around by various space related objects.
Randy: Couldn't we do something down to earth?
The scene was then redrawn as a burning stake.
Randy: Ah! Draw something that won't kill me!
The scene changed again, But this time Randy was tied to a set of Railway tracks with an oncoming train approaching.
Randy: AH! HOW DOES THIS NOT KILL ME!?
Randy screamed as the train came near, He managed to get off the tracks just in time.
Randy: Oh… Oh god…
Randy got out of the ropes and got up.
Randy: Enjoying yourself? Can we please get organized right now? Just draw a nice plain background that won't do me harm!
The Pencil then drew the town of South Park behind Randy.
Randy: Hmm, Okay this will do I suppose, now all we need is some color, HEY!
A colored pencil came down and started coloring Randy in various messy colors, making him a complete mess.
Randy: NOT ME YOU SLOP ARTIST!
Randy's messed up construction paper was removed leaving only his eyes, nose, mouth and mustache left.
Randy: Well? Where's the rest of me?
The Pencil began to draw another body for Randy, But this time he was… different.
Randy: God what's with animators these days, What happened to simple and quiet cartoons where things made sense and scripts actually meant something? People like them, they've lost something… something so important that… Actually I think I've lost something too. No it's them who lost something. A little something called… Tegridy…? GAH!
As Randy spoke, The pencil drew a mirror right in front of him that showed him what he now looked like! He had four legs, An upper body of a horse, and his head was that of a pig!
Randy: OH YOU BASTARD! WHY I OUTTA-!
The Eraser quickly erased Randy before he could finish.
Randy: Well?
The Pencil then quickly drew Randy, on a bed in the dark, wearing nothing but a speedo.
Randy: Oh wow uh, we're uh… we're going right there huh?
The door to his left quickly slid a tad open.
Randy: Well hey there sexy, you looking for…
Randy thought it was Sharon, It wasn't… The door was suddenly knocked off its hinges by a large roaring Grizzly bear!
Randy: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
The Bear then lunged forward and mounted on top of Randy, then began to thrust into his ass!
RANDY: AGH! TOO ROUGH! NO LIKELY! NO LIKEY!
The whole disgusting scene was quickly erased! With Randy panting on the floor completely traumatized and panting.
Randy: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WAS THAT?!
He got up and adjusted himself.
Randy: That sir, was the most disgraceful, Disgusting and most despicable thing I have ever experienced!
Randy was then suddenly run over by a train.
Randy: How Humerous…
Randy then got up and dusted himself off, shockingly he was still alive, but his construction paper body was shredded.
Randy: Oh now look at this, You owe me a new model buddy, and nothing stupid this time!
The eraser erased Randy and redrew him, But this time, his body was normal but he had no head! Realizing this Randy miediatly motioned for a head! The Pencil drew a head, But it was PC Principal's head!
Randy: Hey! This is not my head Bro!
The Pencil redrew the head again, But this time it was Butters.
Randy: Oh for gosh sake! I already teamed up with this kid last episode!
Once again the Pencil redrew his head, But this time as Cartman's head!
Randy: Ey! Get it right asshole!
Again the Pencil redrew his head, But this time as his own daughter Shelly's head.
Randy: Thank you, Wait what the… listen you Turd! You give me back my actual head or I'll fucking kill you!
The Pencil erasered Shelly's head and replaced with Randy's head, but his face was right next to him.
Randy: This again? Put it back!
The pencil did so.
Randy: OW! Alright pal, We have a job to do here, So enough fooling around!
Suddenly the screen fell on Randy.
Randy: Oh come one really?
The pencil drew a poll for Randy to prop the screen under, He got up and did so.
Randy: Oh good, Now was I was saying-
The poll broke under the screen and the whole thing fell on Randy. With an enraged scream, Randy jumped up, lifted the screen under him and ripped it to pieces!
Randy: Now… finally on with the show!
And with that the South Park credits started to play.
Randy: NO! NO!
Randy shoved it all out of the way!
Randy: Now look pal, For the upteenth time, can we please get organized here? Do you want us to lose both our jobs, if we don't get this episode up? So please, for the love of god, put me in something awesome!
And with that, the pencil drew a scene with a pirate ship and drew Randy dressed as a Pirate!
Randy: Oh wow, I'm like Blackbeard!
Randy made his way up to the crows nest and drew his sword!
Randy: Avast ye scoundrels, There be a storm on the horizon!
Randy then heard no shouts from the crew, until he realized there was no crew.
Randy: Uh, where is…?
Suddenly a Kraken popped right out of the sea and dragged the whole ship to the button of Davy Jones' locker!
Randy's angel emerged from the sea and ascended to the heavens, as he did he found himself coming right up to the gates of heaven itself.
Then suddenly a large access denied sign popped up in front of him.
Randy: What the?!
Screen: Sorry sir, Only Mormans allowed.
And with that, Randy fell into the fiery abyss of Hell!
Randy: AH!
He landed with a great crash! But instead of hell, it was a large purple void, and Randy was completely dazed and rambling.
Randy: I… I thought this was America… Isn't this America? I thought this was…
He then stepped on a landmine the pencil drew and blew up.
Randy: Sweden…
Randy came to his senses and boiled over in rage.
Randy: That's it, I've had enough, You hear me! I'm DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! D-O-N-E! You know what the spells? DONE! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! WHOEVER YOU ARE I'LL GET YOU! STAN ARE YOU DOING THIS?! YOUR THE MASTERMIND AREN'T YOU!? SHARON!? I'LL FIND YOU YOU HEAR AND WHEN I DO YOU'LL BE SORRY! YOU'LL SEE! I WILL BURN YOU IN YOUR OWN HOUSE-!
Then suddenly, A large Anvil was dropped on him by the pencil, which was then finally put down by the little girl, who rested her legs on the drawing table, placed her hands behind her head, and smiled.
Wendy: Hm, Who would have thought Stan's dad was so much fun.
The End.
Hello Everyone, Hope you enjoyed this story. I thought the 25th Season of SOuth Park was too short, so I wrote this for fun. Hope you all enjoy it.
In other news, I would like to give an update on the rest of my Fanfiction. The Thirteenth episode of South Park Exiles is still under development and the following stories, Watership Down (Combined Edition.) Histories of Crossover Legends, Volume 1, Mabel's Adventure and Quest for the Black Cauldron will be updated when it comes out.
Speaking of Mabel's Adventure, Crossover Legends Season 2 is on hold until I can get the story of Mabel's Adventure to a certain point.
Writing for South Park, the Dark Time comes, Carrie White, Jedi of the Old Republic and Go God Go (Retelling) will also be on hold, Until then.
The Next Chapter of Star Wars, Rebellion Unleashed is also in progress.
Thank you for your support and I will get to these stories as soon as I can.
Stay tuned for now.
