She stumbled out of Cragen's office, up the stairs and into the cribs, thanking every deity in existence that she hadn't run into anyone. She closed the door, sat down and held a pillow against her face before she allowed more tears to come. She wanted to scream, but even with the pillow to muffle the sound, she couldn't get it out. She only had a few minutes before she had to pull herself together and go back downstairs. She sat there, as shock overwhelmed her. She had been frustrated and angry at her mom, but she hadn't wanted her to die. She hadn't wanted her to die alone in a subway station. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting in the room, when she heard a soft knock and Elliot's voice gently calling her name. She took a deep breath and wiped her face with her sleeve before she unlocked the door. He crouched down so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "Cragen just told me. I'm so sorry, Olivia. I'm so sorry about your mom." The empathy in his eyes and voice was unbearable, and she was suddenly sobbing, and he sat next to her on the bed and held her her while she cried. When her sobbing subsided, she scooted over and glanced at him.
"Sorry," she said. "I'm okay."
"Olivia, your mother just died. You don't have to be okay. You're allowed to grieve."
"But I hated her," she whispered, anguish penetrating her words."
"Being dead doesn't mean that she was less drunk or abusive," he commented. He handed her tissues, and she took a deep breath before she wiped her face. "I know there's a uni downstairs. Do you want me to take you to the morgue instead?" She stared at him.
"They need you, El. We finally have a break in the case."
"Fin and Munch can handle it," he said firmly. "Cragen told me to take a few hours off. He'll cover."
"You don't need to," she wavered.
"I know I don't need to. I want to. I'm your partner. I want to support you through this."
She nodded. "I don't want to see anyone else though," she told him.
"I'll take care of it. Fin and Munch understand. If you feel up for it later, they want to bring dinner. And Kathy suggested you stay at our house if you don't want to be by yourself tonight." She shook her head firmly. "I told her you'd say that," he said, and she gave him a slight smile that broke his heart. "But she wanted you to know it's an open offer. I do too." He squeezed her hand before helping her stand up. She wondered if this was what it felt like to have somebody want to take care of you and to let them.
