Chapter 53

Usagi Tsukino was many things, but she was not oblivious. At least not as often as everyone thought. She fumed quietly as she and Shuu made their way to the grocery store to pick up a few things for Nasuti. It wasn't that she was angry at everyone, but she was angry.

She understood – the Senshi had spent their entire existence, had sacrificed so much protecting her at all costs, and now that she was under threat yet again, they were in hyper-vigilance mode.

But no one seemed to understand her point of view; if she was the sole survivor in a war, what would she have worth living for? How was that even survival? She needed her Senshi. She needed the Troopers. She couldn't handle one more loss. Not one more heartbreak, or she would break. And then she wouldn't be worth anything to anyone.

She'd made a vow to protect the starseeds together with the Senshi. Call her crazy, but it felt an awful lot like she was being protected along with the starseeds. She also wasn't stupid. They were going to need everything they had to defeat this monster. Every. Thing. And Usagi would use every last bit of energy the crystal had, everything that she had, to keep them all safe.

And no one could stop her from doing it.

So she wished they'd just stop tip-toeing around her.

She knew she'd been behaving as if she were fragile, and that probably had something to do with it.

And maybe she was, a little.

It was hard. Accepting that Mamoru would not be with her ever again felt awful. It was like having a giant hole in her chest.

But that hole kept getting filled, little by little, by Shuu Li-Huang. Usagi cast a sideways glance at her self-appointed protector and companion. She wasn't stupid there either. She'd have to be blind and deaf not to notice how gone he was over her.

The problem was that she didn't know what to do about it.

She didn't know what she was feeling, other than deeply attached to him. She needed him, and she kept telling herself it was just because she'd been through so much but…this didn't feel like just needing anybody. There were other Troopers. There were her Senshi. She needed Shuu.

He just…always seemed to know the right things to say to her and do for her. Somehow, whenever she needed something, he always seemed around to give it to her – and he didn't really look like he knew he was doing it. He just sincerely wanted to be there for her, and made her heart hurt even as it made her feel so warm inside.

And that felt like a betrayal of both Mamo-chan and Chibiusa. But every time that thought crossed her mind, her heart cruelly reminded her that Chibiusa no longer existed and Mamo-chan had been reborn as a literal baby with no memories of her or their life together.

It also reminded her ruthlessly that she was not the Moon Princess. And while it was kind of a relief in a strange way not to have the pressure of the literal future of everything on her shoulders, she felt even worse when everyone still treated her like she was a Princess.

As a princess, as a queen, she'd been a failure. The Future of an entire Universe had been counting on her, and she hadn't even been around in person to let them down. Mamo-chan had probably felt so disappointed, so abandoned by her.

She bit her lip when it began to tremble. No more crying. Not in front of Shuu anyways. He'd seen enough of her tears. The poor guy was probably wondering if she ever stopped crying. She probably wouldn't, but there was no reason for him to know that.

The Troopers had done so much for her, and the least she could do was act like she had herself together.

Worse, she hadn't missed the awed expressions they sometimes threw her way when they thought she wasn't looking. Ever since the rebirth there seemed to be a strange reverence around her that only made her feel frustrated and guilty.

She didn't deserve that sort of respect.

Either way, they always seemed to be keenly aware of her now, constantly monitoring her wellbeing, and it felt a little like being under one of Ami-chan's microscopes.

The Senshi weren't helping. Concerned about her state of mind, they'd done their own version of wrapping her in bubble wrap, and sometimes she wanted to scream. Knowing Mercury and Shuu had battled Zoisite and Jadeite while they'd left her napping had hurt.

Clearly no one thought she was capable of handling herself or their battles.

But after her Senshi had been targeted and attacked directly? Usagi was done sitting on the sidelines wringing her hands. She wasn't planning to announce it either. She'd find her opening and shove it wide.

She'd let everyone down before, but she wouldn't this time.

"You're awfully quiet. Everything ok over there?" Usagi felt a guilty pang for being so sulky and quiet around Shuu, and turned to reassure him.

Just in time to watch him get blasted back and through the side of a building. She shrieked, but pulled herself together quickly. Whirling, she narrowed her eyes on the culprit. And inhaled sharply when she came face to face with Queen Beryl. She squeaked, scrambling through the hole to check on Shuu and maybe….give her self a minute to uh…make a battle plan.

Coughing, she waved her hand in front of her face in an attempt to clear some of the dust and stooped down near him, gently placing her fingers on his pulse. She heaved a sigh of relief when it beat steadily beneath her fingers, but he was out. Hopefully Ami could help him when they got back.

Determined to shine, Usagi pulled up her big girl panties and shot her hand into the air, yelling, "Moon Eternal, Make-up!" Eternal Sailor Moon climbed back out of the hole and set eyes on the enemy.

She'd been expecting Mamoru.

She'd been expecting one of the Shittenou. She'd prefer one of the Shittenou. Beryl was always…so much more powerful.

When woman smirked at her, Usagi squared up and waited for the her to make her move, worrying about how to protect all the gawking bystanders in the middle of the crowded street. Beryl didn't give any speeches. She didn't demand the Silver Crystal, she didn't taunt or mock.

She leapt forward like an angry tiger, and Usagi squeaked, startled, and scrambled out of the way. She turned, just in time to see Beryl pivot and continue coming at her. The woman raised both hands and launched a barrage of energy at Usagi that hit its mark. Usagi grunted, hitting a tree so hard a majority of the leaves fell out of it. She shook it off, and scrambled back up, casting a worried look at the hole Shuu still hadn't climbed out of. She hoped he would be ok.

Beryl was ready, but this time so was Usagi. She gripped her tiara around its stone gently and yelled "Moon Twilight Flash!"

Beryl's attack slowed and stopped in the bright light, the woman throwing her arms over her eyes, and Usagi didn't hesitate.

"Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!" she yelled, pirouetting through a series of moves to complete the attack. The energy stormed into Beryl and she shrieked, collapsing to the sidewalk. She didn't move, but everyone around Usagi started applauding.

Usagi stood, clutching her scepter and staring anxiously at the unmoving Beryl.

Did she launch another attack, just in case?

As she watched, Beryl's body dissolved into a strange black sand that seemed to be carried away on the breeze. Usagi blinked, watching it fade away into the sky, feeling suddenly paranoid at how easy that had been.

Almost stupidly easy. She wasn't Ami, but even she could tell that the fight was nowhere near over.

Her curiosity piqued as she mulled over how weak Beryl had been. Maybe this was the true Beryl. If Metalia wasn't around, what kind of power did she really have? Something to talk to the other Senshi about, for sure.

Usagi snuck back into the hole in the building and let go of her transformation. Gently, she knelt by Shuu's head and began looking for any dire injuries, using her fingers to feel for swelling with the lightest touch she could manage.

He groaned when she hit a particularly large bruise on one of his temples, and she jerked her hands back just as his eyes fluttered open.

"Nnn. 'Sagi?" he rasped.

She beamed at him.

"Right here!" she reassured him, raising her hand. Shuu blinked a few times, probably trying to clear the stars from his vision, and sat up slowly with another groan.

"Man." He shook his head once, sharply, and then rubbed at an eye. "Anybody catch the train that ran me over?"

"I did. Don't worry, I totally handled the Beryl train! She was toast!" she replied, trying to keep her voice light and wanting him to know she was totally fine. He shot her an alarmed look, immediately more awake.

"You ok? Did she hurt you? Sorry, she got the drop on me," he growled.

Usagi smiled at him again, trying to be reassuring. "Totally fine! I promise! I'm a little worried about you though. I think you hit your head pretty hard," she chirped. Shuu smiled at her, then attempted to get to his feet.

"Aw hey, this is nothin'. I'm totally fine. C'mon. We need to get you back to Nasuti's and then tell the others," he muttered. She might have believed him if he hadn't slurred his words, swaying dangerously. Usagi shot up, catching him, and pulled one of his arms over her shoulders.

"Why don't you take it easy Shuu? You got hit pretty hard. We'll head back, ok?" she coaxed gently, taking more of his weight than he probably realized. The fact that he didn't stop her or protest, instead simply leaning on her, scared Usagi more than she wanted to admit.

He was heavy, but it was more the awkwardness of their height difference that made it worse. She managed to get them both to the station, and then pour him into a seat on the train, alarmed to discover he was barely half-awake.

She tapped his shoulder gently throughout the ride, doing her best to keep him awake while she chatted at him non-stop. Guilt ate at her. She'd wanted an opportunity to prove herself, but not at his expense. The ease that she'd used to defeat Beryl also gnawed at her. Everything seemed off, and Usagi just wanted to be surrounded by the people she cared about, reassured that they were all with her and ok.

The Troopers and the Senshi were all she had now. They didn't understand it. She needed to protect them, not the other way around, because if she lost even one more person she loved, she wouldn't make it.

She was unwholesomely grateful when they reached their stop. Shuu seemed to be getting worse as she plied him off the train. He swayed like a drunk person as they walked from the station, and he'd stopped speaking to her coherently.

Usagi's panic escalated as they stumbled home. While she was stronger than most people gave her credit for, there was still a lot of Shuu, he was much larger than her, and keeping the wet noodle thing he had going on under control was proving to be a ginormous challenge. He looked stocky, but it was very apparent that he was actually completely muscle. He felt like he was made out of stone.

In fact, she was pretty sure most of the bruises she was going to have tomorrow would be from his flailing elbows. Those things were hard.

She nearly wept with relief when Nasuti's place came into sight. Reaching up, she pounded on the door with the flat of her palm and then leapt to grab Shuu before he pivoted completely off of her shoulder. The door opened while she was trying to balance him back out.

"Shuu!" Usagi wanted to cry at the sound of Ryo's voice.

"Can you help me?" she winced. "He's kind of heavy."

She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his weight lifted off of her shoulders, but the sigh very nearly rushed out of her with her soul when she caught the look Rekka was leveling her with as he struggled to pull Shuu into the house. It made her feel a little better that he didn't seem to be doing much better at it than she had. She put her hands up, palms out in surrender.

"Um, I didn't do it?" she ventured, wondering why he looked so angry.

"You didn't call anyone?" Ryo growled.

Usagi felt her ire from earlier climb back up from her belly. She put her hands on her hips and gave him the evil eye. "And when was I supposed to call? Before or after I had to stop Beryl from trying to kill me?!" she snarled. "Maybe I should have left Shuu alone to get to a payphone?" she added.

Ryo looked cowed.

"Sorry," he sighed, finally balancing Shuu and ushering her in. "Sorry. I just don't like….I'm not…" A look of frustration crossed his face, and Usagi realized she might not be the only one getting aggravated with their circumstances. Her face softening, she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, popping onto her toes to kiss him sweetly on the cheek.

"It's ok, Ryo. Everyone is helping in their own way. Everyone is doing the best they can. Beryl attacked Shuu first and didn't give us much time to do anything except try and defend ourselves. Still, I got rid of her pretty quickly," she tried to be reassuring, but while he returned her smile, he still looked dark and troubled.

"You ok Usagi?" he asked her, giving her a once over. She flashed him the V for Victory.

"Don't worry about me Ryo, I dusted her!" she put down her hand then, the smile falling from her face. "I'm really worried about Shuu though. I think he hit his head pretty hard."

It was Ryo's turn to reassure her. "Don't worry about Shuu, he'll be ok. His head's pretty hard. I'll just run him over to Ami though," he replied. Usagi nodded, watching them disappear toward the office as worry frayed the edges of her composure.

The idea of anything happening to Shuu was starting to feel a little like the idea of anything happening to Mamoru. Her chest got tight, and it felt hard to breathe. She wanted to cry. She wanted a hug.

But she also wanted everyone to understand that she was strong and she took her vow seriously, so Usagi hung her purse on the rack and wandered after Ryo, hiding her emotions beneath a smile.