Chapter 60

"It's a beautiful lake. I always liked staying here. It's very serene."

The sound of his voice made her shoulders hunch defensively. Minako stared moodily out at the beautiful lake, watching as clouds reflected dying sunlight onto the water, giving everything a soft, romantic glow.

She was not in the mood for romance, at the moment. Despite what she'd said to Rei.

She'd thought she might have a little time before he figured out she wasn't really his type. He'd been so serious, so sincere, and it had thrown her. But it was possible to care about someone without having romantic feelings for them. The Troopers were all protective, and Seiji was no exception.

Even if he'd kissed her.

More than once.

He shifted beside her, the gesture communicating uncertainty, and Minako wondered what on earth he had to be anxious about. Maybe this was the part where he told her that she wasn't what he needed. Or worse, that he needed her, but he needed to tuck her up on a shelf, safe and out of the way.

She was doomed to choose duty over love, every time. Kaito Ace hadn't been lying about that. She just wasn't sure if she was this way because he'd cursed her, or if she'd always been this way and he'd simply been pointing it out.

She could never stand by when Usagi or the Senshi or the world or anything else was under threat. Maybe she didn't always make the best decisions. Maybe she wasn't always graceful. Maybe she wasn't always classy.

Maybe she just wasn't enough.

Maybe the only thing she was good at was being a Senshi. And that wasn't even all the time.

She wasn't a genius like Ami or elegant like Rei. She wasn't sunny and cheerful and compassionate like Usagi. She wasn't gently nurturing but incredibly strong like Makoto. She didn't have anything like that. She used to think her looks and her charismatic personality were more than enough.

But Seiji quietly saw past those things, and she felt far too vulnerable with him standing next to her right now.

He'd seen her in action.

And if his argument last week had been any indication, he'd found her skills as a warrior, as a leader, wanting.

She'd been avoiding him since then. It had been too hard to look him in the eyes.

Kunzite had been the same, hadn't he? He'd looked at her, and found her wanting. She hadn't been enough. How else could he have said the things he'd said, looked at her like he might just care about her, and then betrayed her so brutally?

She bit back the urge to cry. She wasn't going to shed one tear. That wouldn't be fair to either she or Seiji.

Besides, at least he hadn't betrayed her.

And she owed him. He'd really looked after her. He did care. And his protectiveness struck a nerve, but a part of her acknowledged that it was…nice. To have someone else looking out for her. For her friends. And Usagi could always use more protection. That, at least, was true.

It was different this time. Seiji was a good guy, and the least she could do was to be a grown-up about this. They'd probably continue to butt heads, but Minako didn't mind. She'd always stand for what she believed in.

"I'm really bad at this, huh?" he said from beside her.

As far as beginnings went, it wasn't very promising. Minako curled her hands into fists in her pockets, trying to ignore the way everything suddenly felt cold.

"It's ok," she said softly, trying to give him an easy out. A sharp silence hung between them, and she could feel his gaze boring into her, trying to get her to look at him. She couldn't. Not right now. Maybe not for a while. It would be too difficult to look into those eyes and know he'd found her lacking. And Minako might seem brave.

But in this case she was a coward.

She curled her fists tighter and forced the rest of the tension to leave her body, trying to affect a casual pose.

"It's not ok," he said then, his voice even. She sighed, looking out across the lake, keeping her gaze trained far away.

"You don't need to make a big deal out of it, Seiji. I understand," she said, wincing internally when the cheer sounded forced to her own ears.

"I don't think you do," he said then, something in his tone piquing her curiosity. That tone took a chip out of the flimsy shield she'd erected between them. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you don't understand at all," he continued, and she felt her curiosity replaced by ire.

"Then maybe you should enlighten me," she said acidly. He heaved a heavy sigh, and she felt him turn finally and look out across the lake.

"Minako," he said, and there was such affectionate exasperation in his tone she felt her ire dissipate. "So defensive," he added, and she felt more than saw him shake his head.

"I'm not defensive," she countered, more knee-jerk reaction than anything else, and he chuckled. After a moment, she let herself laugh a bit with him. "Fine. I'm a little on edge maybe," she conceded.

"Minako," he began again, his voice serious now. "I am…so sorry."

She blinked, staring out at the water but no longer seeing it. She couldn't resist the compulsion to turn now, and the moment her eyes met his she felt the intensity of his gaze blow through her. "What?" she said stupidly.

He stepped closer, and reached down, pulling her limp hands from her pockets and gathering them in his own. She let him, too confused to really do much else.

"I don't know what I'm doing around you. I feel so much. And I don't know what to do with it sometimes. I hurt you, without meaning to," he murmured.

She stared at him. She couldn't help it. She didn't understand what he was saying, but he looked pained, and she didn't want to see him suffer, so she smiled.

"I mean, you're entitled to your own thoughts and feelings Seiji. Sometimes that means stepping on toes," she tried, unsure of the conversational direction now. "I don't…I mean, you don't have to agree with me. I'm a big girl."

He snorted. "Good. There are probably going to be plenty of times we disagree. But right now I can't decide if you're deliberately missing my point or if you're really so dense you're not actually hearing what I'm saying," he added, tone carrying a hint of wry amusement.

She pulled her hands from his and put them on her waist, puffing up with indignance. "Hey! I am not dense!"

He chuckled again, and when he finished and looked at her, the expression on his face made her heart start pounding in her chest. He couldn't…that expression couldn't possibly be for her. It was too…tender. Too affectionate, and this was the moment he was supposed to tell her that they were incompatible. That she just wasn't what he wanted but they could always be friends.

That was not what his face was saying right now.

"How could I not love you?" he said softly. "Look at you. You're adorable, even when you're irritated. Especially when you're irritated."

She froze.

There it was. The only other thing she'd dreaded. And if she were honest, it was the thing she dreaded most. She would rather he left her behind, she realized now. Because he loved her.

And that meant that inevitably, she'd let him down. Disappoint him. Hurt him. Oh, she wouldn't mean to, but she would. Loving someone was easy. Being loved by someone? Minako was fine with being hurt. She was used to it. But the idea of hurting someone like Seiji?

Being loved by someone like Seiji?

That was a lot of expectation to live up to.

His lips curved up into a wry smile. "I can tell by the expression on your face how you feel about that. It's all right. I don't expect you to return the feelings. I accepted that awhile ago," he said calmly. He turned again, nailing her with that same serene, affectionate gaze. "I've loved you since the Underworld, I think," he said, and then tucked his hands in his pockets and went back to staring out at the lake.

He loved her.

He'd loved her for a while.

He didn't expect her to love him back.

Minako was pretty sure her heart stopped beating. She staggered backward clumsily, her legs suddenly feeling as insubstantial as water.

He loved her.

How could someone as amazing, as sophisticated, as Seiji love her?

Her foot slid back another step.

And met air.

She flailed, comically, before her entire body went weightless. She had just enough time to see the surprised, concerned expression on his face, his hand reaching out as he called her name, before she hit the surface of the lake and went under.

It would figure that she'd spaz out and fall into a pond during a romantic moment like this one.

Maybe the real curse was just that she was doomed to look stupid in front of people she was trying to impress. She let herself float for a moment, trying to find her dignity before she came up for air. There was a giant splash next to her, and then strong arms were lifting her up, pulling her toward the surface.

They broke into the air and she coughed, trying to work the water from her lungs.

"Are you all right?!" Seiji's voice was right next to her. He had an arm around her, cinching her securely against him as he kept them afloat.

"I thought Shin was the heroic swimmer," she remarked before she thought better of it.

"I'll do in a pinch," he muttered. "You didn't need to jump into the pond if you were looking for an escape. You could have walked away," he added, and it was difficult not to miss the hurt beneath the acid in his tone.

Now who was hurting feelings? She was an idiot.

She was going to mess this up. He was an amazing guy, and he loved her, and she'd ruined the moment and hurt his feelings on top of it.

What was wrong with her?!

"I'm sorry," she whispered, unable to stop her shoulders from starting to shake. She felt so frightened. So out of control. "I wasn't trying to run," she whispered, curling against him as he swam them toward the dock.

She gripped the ancient, rusty ladder with two hands and climbed as he boosted her out of the water. "Could have fooled me," she heard him mutter under his breath. She scrambled onto the weathered wood, resting on her knees and hugging herself against the chill breeze that had felt so warm and inviting only moments ago.

She tried in vain to stop her teeth from chattering, to stop herself from shaking, but she didn't really know how, in this moment. Something inside of her was breaking apart, and she didn't know what was happening to her right now.

Beside her, he cursed softly.

"Hell. You're not all right. I'll get Rei. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you just…calm down ok? I'll go get her." Seiji moved, rising, and a single thought crystalized in her mind.

If he walked away right now, if she let him walk away thinking she'd tried to run from his feelings, she would never recover. He'd be hurt so deeply, and the wound would live inside her for always.

The time she'd thrown a man's love back in his face.

When she loved him too.

She reached out, snagging his wrist. "No!" she yelled. She couldn't look at him as she held fast. She felt so ashamed right now. What must she look like? Still.

"I don't need Rei right now. I need you," she panted, trying to get her shaking under control. She felt him relax in her grip, but she didn't let go, terrified he'd leave her if she did.

"Minako," he said again, and there was the tone. That emotion from earlier. That voice. She felt tears spill from her eyes. "It's all right. I'll come back with Rei. I just want you to –"

"I do not. Need. Rei," she ground out. She'd been relying on Rei entirely too much lately, and it wasn't up to Mars to fix all her problems.

Maybe…maybe being a good leader meant learning how to fix her own problems instead of running from them.

Mercifully, she felt her body begin to calm.

"I meant what I said before. I wasn't running from you. I think…I was running from me," she breathed quietly, more to herself than him. She heard him sigh, and then to her utter relief, he sank down to the dock beside her. She still couldn't make herself let go of him.

"I need you to explain this, please. Because I feel like I keep hurting you, even when I'm trying to help. And I don't like it," he said stiffly. She laughed, but the sound wasn't happy, and rubbed a wet arm over her eyes, trying to dry her face in vain.

"That's me, right? I'm a mess. Congratulations, Seiji Date, you're in love with a mess," she said, gesturing between them as if she were handing him an imaginary prize. Silence lapsed between them, and then he turned his wrist, sliding his hand up so their fingers were clasped instead.

"I don't think you're a mess, Minako," he said quietly. She raised her eyebrows and dared a look at his face.

"Really?" she asked, skepticism in her tone as she gestured at the lake. He chuckled, then smiled at her with the same fond affection that'd sent her stumbling off the dock in the first place.

"Oh, you're definitely a spaz sometimes. But that doesn't make you a mess. It's kind of cute," he replied, squeezing their fingers. She made a face.

"But you're so…" she gestured at him, hoping he'd get it. "Put together," she managed. He leveled her with an odd look.

"Are you…is that what's been bothering you? Are you seriously trying to compare yourself to me?" he sounded angry now. "Why?"

She stammered, but couldn't come up with an answer. When he put it that way, it seemed ridiculous. But those feelings weren't ridiculous. "Because!" she blustered.

"Because you're perfect! You're so good and so talented. You're kind and you care and you're classy. You could have any girl you wanted!" she blurted, her frustration boiling over. "They're literally throwing themselves at you, and I'm just…" she trailed off, tugging her hand away, burying her face in her palms, distress making her shoulders shake again.

"I'm just not…any of those things. I make stupid mistakes. I'm not…elegant!" she muttered, trying hard to figure out how to express the feelings that had been brewing inside of her. "I mean, you told me you loved me, and it was perfect, and then I jumped off the dock like a complete spaz!" she said incredulously, pulling her face from her hands to gesture with two open palms at the water again.

"What is your family going to think of me? I'm probably going to embarrass you a lot. Who needs that kind of aggravation? And I'm not…I can't change…I mean I don't know how –"

Seiji pulled her against him, tilted her face up, and kissed her.

Everything inside of her, the fear, the frustration, the sorrow, went quiet.

They parted gently, and he tugged, pulling her close and tucking her against his chest. "Minako. When I said that I love you, I meant exactly as you are," he said quietly. She felt the fear shiver through her again, but not overwhelming her this time.

"I'm scared," she whispered without thinking, tangling her fingers in the soft shirt she'd probably ruined. "I love you so much. But I'm so…me. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to disappoint you. I feel so …responsible. What if I let you down?" she rasped, turning, burying her face into the soaked material over his chest.

He made a noise in his throat and then suddenly he was wrapped around her, holding her against him, one hand around her waist and the other cradling her head against his chest, his lips buried against the crown of her head.

"You could never let me down," he breathed against her. "It doesn't matter Minako. It doesn't matter how many mistakes you make. It doesn't matter if you're not perfect every time. I love you. I love you when you're a spaz and you fall off a dock. I love you when you open your mouth wide enough to put your foot in it." He chuckled then. His fingers caressed the nape of her neck as his hold gentled.

"I love you when you're struggling to be the leader your friends are looking for, even when you're scared you're not good enough. I love you when you're willing to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, even if it scares me more than anything ever has. You're more than enough for me, do you understand? I love every part of you. Don't ever compare yourself to me. That's not even a contest," he whispered.

She hiccupped, rubbing ineffectually to stem the rush of liquid that had fallen from her eyes as his words looped around her brain.

You're more than enough for me.

She didn't know what'd she'd done, to get his attention. It seemed ridiculous that he'd love her even when she was a spaz, but she knew he wasn't lying. And it was up to her to trust him. To trust that he knew his own heart enough to know that he loved her even when she wasn't perfect. If this moment didn't prove that, she didn't know what would.

So Minako let go.

She let the crack that had formed in the rigid barrier around her heart spread. She let it open, let the light in. And then closed her eyes and basked in it.

A moment of peace settled over them both. Seiji leaned back against a pilon and held her against him, shielding her from the breeze as it cut through their wet clothes. Minako soaked everything in, feeling calm, feeling contented, for the first time in months. A part of her settled, falling perfectly into place.

It was a risk, loving someone again.

But Seiji was worth the risk.

After a few more moments of silence, he stirred suddenly.

"About last week," he began. She blinked, and then looked up at him, startled to see the troubled expression on his face. "I didn't mean…it wasn't my intention to hurt you," he continued softly. She smiled at him, because she understood now, why he'd been so…combative. She shook her head.

"It's ok. I get it now. I didn't before, not really, but I do now," she told him. He sighed, looked out at the lake again. She frowned. She might be basking in the glow between them, but she needed to get something straight.

I'm the Leader of the Senshi. I can't turn away from that. It's…ruined things before, so if that's going to be an issue –" she started. He whipped his gaze back to her, eyes intense.

"I would never ask you to do that. I understand duty," he snapped. She straightened, taken aback by the defensiveness of his tone. He sighed then, closing his eyes and furrowing his brows, his face lined with an agonized emotion she couldn't name.

"I know that," he continued quietly. "But it might…take some time for me to adjust. It scares me, knowing that I could lose you, just like that. You're strong and you're clever. You're a good leader Minako. And it's because you're those things that I lay awake at night thinking of all the ways I can lose you. Chaos…the idea of it…it's frightening. You died before trying to defeat it. What it did to you was so disturbing none of you will really talk about it. You can't expect me to be…okay with that."

She sighed, letting the knowledge settle behind her breastbone.

"Yeah. I guess I get that. I wish I could…make it easier, but I don't know how," she replied softly. She furrowed her brow. "I could…talk to you more about Chaos…if that's what you want," she added hesitantly.

He shifted, his body relaxing more. "I don't need that from you. Not if it's going to hurt you to talk about it. Just promise me…promise me that you'll be safe. I know you need to protect Usagi. I know you need to stop this thing, and I will be there with you every step of the way. Just please…take care of yourself," he begged.

"I know you're independent. I know you're the leader. But I'm right here. Please, call me when there's trouble. Let me help. Let me be with you," he rasped, pulling her close again. She smiled, curling her fingers more securely in his shirt.

"I can do that. Help me? I'm not used to this," she murmured.

"Yeah. Just…Look. I guess I'm not the best at communicating. But please, from this moment, never doubt how I feel about you. It's never my intent to criticize. Just protect. I'm not used to this either. And I hate how helpless everything is making me feel. I can't lose you Minako. I can't. I've already done it once. I can't do it again," he murmured against her temple.

Minako closed her eyes, feeling warm and weightless.

Was this what love felt like? Why had she fought it so hard? It was almost frighteningly easy now, to give him what he needed.

"I guess I'm not good at communicating either. I've been trying to hide. I've been running away, because I was scared. Scared that I'd never be enough for you. Scared that I'd disappoint you, or that you'd realize I wasn't who you wanted. I'm sorry for hurting you. But I can be brave now if I know that you're beside me." She paused, linking their fingers together and resting their joined hands in her lap, and then looked up at him, trying to convey the depth of her feelings in her gaze. "I won't leave you behind," she promised him, sincerity vibrating through her voice.

She was startled when his eyes caught a hint of telltale sheen in the low light, and then his brow furrowed as if he were in pain before he pulled her against him, hugging her close.

"Thank you," he breathed into the small space between them. "Don't be sorry. Just know that I don't expect you to be anything but you. I love you, exactly as you are. All I ask is that you let me walk beside you."

Minako closed the gap between them, using his shoulders for leverage so she could lean up and press a kiss to his forehead.

"Always," she replied, giving him the sweetest smile she could manage. He returned the expression, and as she sank back into his lap, took her lips tenderly. She wrapped an arm around him, savoring the moment as they parted and then simply stayed, close together, soaking in the warmth of each other's presence.

"Did…you two go for a swim?" Shin's voice cut in, startling them both.

She whipped her head around to take in Shin and Rei. The priestess' lips curved up slightly after a moment, vague amusement ghosting across her face.

"Did you spaz out?" she asked Minako. Minako bristled.

"I did not. For your information, I tripped!" she snarled. "Why are you assuming this is my fault?!"

"Because this has you all over it," Rei drawled.

Seiji chuckled, but thankfully didn't say anything to contradict her.

"Your face is pretty red Minako," the priestess added, "Are you feeling ok?"

Minako felt her flush deepen and put her face in her hands. "Rei!" she growled.

"Well, Ryo just signaled, so as long as you two are really ok, maybe go get changed and dry off. Kayura's here." Shin's tone was struggling to be light. Minako frowned as she took in both Troopers' unease. She had to admit, The Empress' arrival certainly cast a pallor over everything.

With a sigh, she pushed up, struggling to her feet. Seiji lifted them both with ease then, setting her down carefully and keeping an arm clasped around her waist as she struggled to get her balance. Thankfully, Shin had steered Rei back up the hill already, so they were alone again.

"Come on, we can slip in through the workout room," he said, clasping her hand and gently tugging her up the hill. Minako let him pull her, still soaking up the warm glow of the moment they'd shared. He opened the door for her and ushered her inside, closing it behind them soundlessly and gesturing at her to follow him.

She crept behind him in the dim light of early evening, giggling when a towel landed on her head. She tugged it down, wrapping it around her shoulders as they made their way toward the gym's exit. He peered out of the doorway first, indicating the coast was clear, and then the two of them slunk upstairs like miscreant teenagers sneaking back in while their parents were asleep.

It reminded her a little of sneaking in while her mother was asleep. Of course, she hadn't been doing anything as fun as seeing cute boys. She'd been trying to hide battles and missions that came from being Sailor Venus. A wave of nostalgia hit her, and she swiped at the corner of one eye quickly, swallowing the sadness.

"What is it?" he asked, pausing in the upstairs hall and bringing them side by side again. She flushed.

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking I felt like a silly teenager sneaking in," she said with a watery laugh. His face folded into an expression of compassion and he pulled her into a warm, secure hug. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. After a moment, she felt steady again, and he seemed to sense that and pull away.

"We'd better get changed before someone comes looking for us," he said with a small smile. She nodded and they parted ways.

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If anyone was curious about where they'd been, no one showed it outwardly as he and Minako finally made their way outside to the fire ring. The first thing he noticed was that Rajura and Anubis were in rough shape.

The next thing that became apparent was the tension that hung in a thick cloud over the assembled group. Seiji gestured Minako to a seat on a downed log and then took up a stance behind her, putting supportive hands on her shoulders.

"We were unable to determine where this void goes, but wherever it goes, this thing has been exploiting it. It's not actually in the Youjakai – there's a rift, between our two realms that I suspect Badamon had exploited during Arago's rule. It appears that somehow, there is another realm that has appeared between our two realms," Kauyra was saying. Seiji was unable to control the shiver that went through him at the mention of Badamon and Arago. Minako reached up, putting one of her hands over his own in reassurance.

"It would be ideal if I could run tests on the area, get a complete analysis," Ami said, looking at her machine. Ryo shot her an alarmed look.

"No way," Rekka protested. Ami huffed a breath, frowning, her frustration visible.

"I don't know how else to figure this out Ryo. We need to know what that space is." Here she paused, gesturing toward Kayura and the Masho. "It's managing to inflict damage in both realms, but if we can maybe stop it – cut it off before it gets any stronger, it might be an end to our troubles right now," she insisted.

Touma sighed, his expression troubled, but carrying an edge of finality to it that made Seiji dread what might be coming out of his mouth. "As much as I don't like it, Ami's right. We need to see if we can get more data about the rift."

Ryo moved to protest again, but Kayura cut him off, a thoughtful hand on her chin.

"Mizuno. Can you give me a device that I can have placed there?" she asked. Ryo shut his mouth and visibly perked up at the idea. Ami blinked.

"I could build something and have it ready for you in a couple of days," she said, looking thoughtful. "If we build it well enough, potentially you could just…leave it in the area…or even drop it into the rift, and we can see what readings come back."

Rajura shook his head then. "You're better off leaving it in the area. The void itself is violent and reacts unpredictably to interference," he said in a deep voice. Ami and Touma both frowned at the news, but Mercury nodded.

"Yes. We can have something for you within forty-eight hours. Will that do?" she asked. Kayura nodded.

"That will work. In the meantime, we've erected a barrier around the area, but I have no idea if it will hold, or for how long," she added. Anubis nodded.

"Watch your backs, Troopers. It seemed to recognize Rajura and I," he said gravely. Rajura closed his visible eye, his arms crossed over his chest. He snorted.

"It recognized the armors," he corrected. He opened his eyes and fixed the Troopers with a dark gaze. "It wants them. I could feel the hunger." Kayura and Anubis nodded.

"The sooner you get that…instrument built, the better," The Empress said then, rising. "If you'll excuse us, we have many preparations to make. I'll see you in two days' time," she finished. They vanished.

"I'm worried about all of you. Every day this drags on is a day this thing is closer to potentially figuring out how to come after you. Ami, I'll help you with the data collection. Let's get it built and figure out what we need to look for," Nasuti said. Ami nodded.

"Yes, I agree. Let's look at the data I have and pull together some ideas. We'll go from there," the blue-haired girl said, bobbing her head.

"Once we have a list of parts we need, I know a few places we can hit up to grab them," Touma added, his gaze distant as his mind moved at a million miles an hour. Ami and Nasuti nodded, both of them rising and moving toward the house.

Touma turned, leaning down and giving Makoto a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled at her longingly before turning and following Ami and Nasuti, the three of them disappearing inside. Makoto put a hand to her cheek, watching him go before her expression firmed into something more determined.

"I think I'm going to make some snacks," she said, heading inside as well.

"Hmm. I'm hungry. I think I'm going to eat some snacks!" Usagi said with forced enthusiasm. Rei rolled her eyes.

"Good. I need peace and quiet if I'm going to manage a fire reading," the priestess said, settling herself into more meditative position. Instead of arguing, Usagi merely rolled her eyes as she moved to go inside, Shuu on her heels.

"Wanna play F-1 Race?" he heard Shuu ask as they headed out of ear shot.

Seiji looked back toward the fire to realize that Rei was casting them all significant looks. Ryo put his hands up, standing. "Uh, guess that's my cue," he said, moving toward the house. Minako rose, moving away from the fire after Ryo. She turned, smiling back at him, waiting, her hand out.

Seiji didn't hesitate to take it.

"Next time you want to go swimming, maybe wear the proper attire. And pick a better time," Rei called after them. Minako hunched her shoulders and ducked her head, then turned, sticking her tongue out at Rei. Shin was grinning on them, pulling a hand from his pocket to wave at them in an overly friendly way.

Despite the ribbing, he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he followed a grumbling Minako inside. She might feel embarrassed, but their time beside the lake would stand out in his memory as one of the best moments in his life.

The moment he found out that Minako Aino loved him back.