While Surr, the Warrior of Light, looked up, gazing with nostalgic air up upon a crystal structure towering over Crystarium, G'raha couldn't help himself but let his eyes track her beautiful, beloved features from under his cowl, his crystal fingers involuntary tightening in a fist, yearning to touch her.
He loved her for more than a century… and he knew he would never stop. But for his plan to work and spare her any and all suffering, she couldn't know it was him.
She was his once, before he knew his destiny laid in the future. Before he woke up in a doomed world with a broken heart and soul, and a nearly broken mind without her. Secretly he was beyond relived to learn of the Ironworks plans to send him back, to save her… just because it allowed him one last look at her. Another second in her company.
She was his love and his greatest obsession. His beautiful, beloved mate.
He didn't regret that his plan would led to his death if it meant saving her. She was… everything. And she had to live. Who was he in comparison…?
So he needed to keep up this charade… even if it broke his heart to gaze upon her and be unable to touch her.
"Exarch?" she asked softly, following him across the Excedra, though her gaze seemed to keep shooting up towards the Crystal Tower, a huge amount of longing in her features.
"Yes, Warrior?" he made sure his voice was calm, detached.
"When you summoned the Tower…" she stopped, forcing him to do so as well. He turned toward her and his throat tightened at the sight of sadness and resignation in her dark-purple eyes as they focused on the gate leading inside the Tower. "Did you maybe… find someone inside…?"
"Someone?" he asked carefully, though his heart jumped, his throat clogging up with nervousness and worry. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"My…" she choked, then cleared her throat, closing her eyes briefly and he pretended he didn't see the heartbreak in their depths. "Someone I… knew… once sealed this Tower in my time… So I was wondering, maybe…?" she looked at him with such a hope… yet at the same time resigned.
"I'm sorry, my friend," only a century of rehearsal stopped his voice from shaking, though if not for the glamour shielding his features, she could have see his crimson eyes fill with tears and longing. "There wasn't anyone inside."
"Oh…" she gasped softly, looking away from him and back towards the Tower. "I guess.. it was too much to hope for… Raha's really gone forever…"
"Is there something I should know about?" he heard himself ask, like probing on a sore tooth when he closed his eyes, trying so hard to keep his composure.
Surr, I've missed you… I want you… I love you…
"Nevermind," she whispered, then cleared her throat, and her nostalgia and sorrow were gone behind a mask when he opened his eyes. "So you said I'll be able to travel back to the Source at will, Exarch?"
"Yes," Wicked white, how he yearned to hold her… just for a moment, a second… "But I've prepared a suite for you in the Pendants, our city's inn and if you require anything you may just…"
"That won't be necessary," she smiled stiffly, so fake comparing to her open, loving smiles he remembered. "I agreed to help here, but I plan to go back every night. Or the equivalent of those here," she looked up with offense at the ever bright sky, bathed in everlasting light. "I've been so busy with Doma and Ala Mhigo before you summoned me… I didn't see my kits in moons."
His heart stopped and he stared at her… completely dumbfounded.
"Your…?" now not any lengths of rehearsals could have stopped his voice from trembling, but she seemed too distracted to notice, stretching her arms up over her head and rising up onto her toes, her whole body arching with the movement. Probably, if he hadn't been so shaken, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from drooling. Instead he cleared his throat, trying to calm his breath and regain his balance. "Pardon… I was unaware of you're… you have a child, Warrior."
"Barely anyone knows," she giggled, as if she wasn't just breaking his mind. His heart… His crystallized hand clenched so hard it made a loud screech, making her jump slightly and look at him while tilting her head curiously. So adorable, so beautiful… "Are you alright, Exarch?"
He thought he was okay with her moving on… though nowhere in stories about her adventures in the doomed future, had he read or see anything about any lovers, any children… He thought… he was okay, but… she was his… his, his, his… He closed his eyes, though even then he could almost still see her amethyst eyes as her citrus scent filled his nose with every breath. Twelve… he had no right… not anymore… yet…
"I'm fine," he finally managed, forcing his lips to tilt in a gentle, polite smile. "Though I must admit, you've intrigued me."
"It's a long and sad story," she chuckled, though sadness was back in her eyes when he opened his. She looked toward the Tower again, sighing softly, mask slipping again. "I guess… this thing makes me nostalgic. I have a very strong… love-hate relationship with this tower, you know." .
"Oh?" he hummed curiously, turning his head as if he was looking towards it, though in truth he couldn't take his eyes of her even if his life depended on it. "How so, if I may ask?"
Surr stayed silent for a long moment, a slight smile gracing her gorgeous, plush lips. Lips he yearned to taste again, to see if his memory was even giving them right credit.
"I love it, because it led me to meet love of my life," she finally whispered softly, her purple eyes so full of desperate longing as a reflection of the Tower flashed on their damp surface. "I hate it because it stole him away from me. From our children."
…what?...
Static filled his ears and his heart stopped again for a long, long moment while air burned as it slid through his throat with effort.
…it can't… be… can't… no…
"I don't… understand," he finally managed, even in his own ears sounding hoarse. "As I said, I didn't know you have c-children."
"Barely anyone on the Source knows," she smiled softly. "It's safer for them while Empire is around. T-they were a last gift my… mate left me before sealing the Tower… with himself inside. He didn't know… I didn't know until it was too late. Then, I had to keep them hidden to keep them safe."
He couldn't breath… loud, insistent ringing was blaring in his ears and he struggled to choke down a miserable, mournful whine.
"It feels so good to talk about them out loud!" she grinned at him, completely unaware of the turmoil of this information spiraling him further into despair. "At home… the Source… I wouldn't dare, because you never know who's listening. But here? Past the Rift? It just… feels good!"
"Them…?" he heard himself ask through the fog, his lips feeling numb.
"Twins," she grinned toothily at him with pride and his heart swelled and broke at the same time. "My beautiful Sura and Rasu,"she giggled softly, rolling her eyes. "I know, silly, but I couldn't resist but name them like that."
"Silly…?" he choked, understanding instantly and swallowing tears that wanted to choke him.
"I'm Surr," she giggled again. "And their father's name was Raha. So… Su-ra and Ra-su. My father can't quit complaining about it, but since they're identical, I find it far too funny."
He forced himself to smile, though he was almost sure his lips were trembling.
"My parents take care of them while I'm away," she continued, looking back toward the Tower with a tiny sigh. "Since they have my white hair, they can pass easily enough as my siblings. They're only three so we don't have to worry about bringing them outside and risking someone… unwanted, noticing their crimson eyes."
Twelve… he's going to die…
"Surr…" he choked out, swallowing hard and his soul breaking.
He thought… he sacrificed enough sealing the Tower. He had no idea how wrong he was… Sura and Rasu… His and Surr's… kits. His and… his, his, his…
"Hmm?" dark-purple eyes turned toward him with confusion as her eyebrows rose expectantly. "Oh, I'm sorry, Exarch, I'm probably boring you," she chuckled, then smiled sheepishly. "As I said, I don't get much occasion to talk about them. Let's continue our tour," she said, turning around and looking around the Excedra. "Crystarium is a very beautiful city from what I saw so far and I can't even imagine how…"
He couldn't… wouldn't… Gods, it hurt too much…
"Surr…" he repeated; quiet and broken whimper. Before he could think of it better… or think at all for that matter… he broke… wrapping his arms around her tightly and burying his face against her shoulder, weeping with regret. "…I'm so… sorry…"
She stilled, then sighed softly, resting her hands on top of his arms and squeezing gently.
"I know," she whispered, relaxing in his arms. Then she giggled again, raising her hand and sneaking it under the cowl and sinking her fingers in his hair. "How you could think I wouldn't recognize your smell, Raha, is beyond me."
"I'm so… sorry, Surr… so sorry…" he chanted breathlessly, tightening his arms around her and sobbing. "I've missed you… so much… I love you, so much… please…"
She sighed softly again, then turned in his arms, raising hers to wound them around his neck, careful of the spiky cowl in the way. If he had been able to notice it, he would probably have been embarrassed at the sight of the citizens of Crystarium stopping around the Excedra and watching them with confused and stunned stares.
"Hush, my love," she purred soothingly, coiling around him so tightly he could barely breath… but he didn't mind, holding onto her as tight, as desperate. "You did what you had to do, I knew it then, and I know it now. Even now, probably you had a reason to try to hide from me… which I would love to hear… later. But this ends, Raha, the secrecy and the deception. If there's a problem… we can solve it, together, my mate."
"Together…" he whispered against her throat, drowning in her smell, his tears choking him. "And then…"
"And then we will go back and you'll meet our babies," she said delicately, tightening her arms around him. "And we will be a family… finally."
The promise in her voice… the vow in it rang with the fierce determination he remembered. And in this moment, as he closed his eyes with tiny sigh of relief, no matter the hardships ahead of them… in this moment he could believe that.
No more regrets. No more lies.
They'll find a way to save the First and the Source without sacrifice… for their children. And then… then he'll have the family he yearned for his whole long, lonely life.
His and Surr's.
When crimson eyes opened again, they burned with determination.
Now and forever.
