After dinner, my mom bathed the little ones while Ranger got me ready for bed. "Why did you change seats at dinner, babe?" said Ranger.
"Val had been sitting beside my mother, and she was telling Mom that Mom should ask me for the five grand each month and then pass it on to Val. She said she deserved it, and I was just being cruel to withhold the money. Mom told her that she would then be in danger, and you and I would be in danger, and that wasn't right. She also said that the solution brokered on Val's and Steve's behalf was more than fair to them, and they should accept it and abide by the rules that we laid out. As Mom told both Val and me, there are millions of people who live the kind of life that we proposed and are doing very well. Just think of an immigrant family. They come to the States on a dream, may not know the language, know nobody, may not have any money to fall back on, may not have their academic qualifications recognized, depending upon the situation that they came from may have issues such as PTSD to overcome, and so on. Yet they thrive. They might not be able to get a job that they are qualified for, they may be doing a low-paying job just for the sake of supporting their family. But they are living their lives with dignity, pride and honor. Comparatively, Steve and Val have a significant nest egg behind them, college degrees and knowledge of the language. Now they just have to develop a more sustainable attitude."
"Your sister understands that the mob will be in their rights to torch your parents' house and our house if we helped them, doesn't she?"
"She doesn't believe that they would actually do that."
"She has got to be one of the stupidest people I have ever met. How are you going to feel when Steve and Val have gone their own way?"
I sighed. "Relieved. She's been a thorn in my side for a while."
"I know. I must admit that I am quite pleased with the solution we found. Your mom and dad can still talk to Val on the phone, Val and Steve are getting a wakeup call and are being forced to take responsibility for themselves, and because they are angry at us we will probably never see them again. It's a win-win solution."
I laughed. "I always like it when it's a win-win solution."
Ranger kissed me on my lips as he eased me down onto the sheets.
"Even so, Ranger, somehow I don't think we have seen the last of them."
Ranger sighed as he got me comfortable in bed. "That's what I'm afraid of."
The kids came in, freshly washed with teeth brushed, with grins on their faces and books in their hands. "Mommy", said Grace, "Granny said that Steve and Val are going away and we will never see them again."
"That's true."
Tia, Grace and Alix grinned. "I don't like them, Mommy", said Tia. "Steve called me a brat and pushed me when I was in his way. He could have just said 'excuse me'. I didn't even know he was there."
"He called me a son-of-a-bitch and told me to stop fucking looking at him", said Alix. "I tried to tell him that I was a girl and that I was not the son of anything, and he called me stupid." I looked at Alix, and her eyes were filled with tears. "But that's right, isn't it, Mommy? I'm a girl, like you, so I can't be a son."
"That's right", I said, "and what Steve said to you not only is rude, but it is offensive. He was swearing, and that is not acceptable."
"Daddy swore today", said Grace.
"Yes, he did. But he did not call people swear words. Yes, swearing is rude and not nice. But sometimes, if you are very angry, it happens and as Daddy says, if you are really, really angry, swearing is better than hitting someone. Calling someone a swear word though? Never acceptable, no matter how angry you are."
Grace looked upset. "I don't like it when people swear at me."
I smiled slightly. "Want to know a secret?" The three kids perked up and nodded. "I don't like it either."
"He called you a fucking bitch", said Grace.
"I'm not surprised. He's very angry at me."
"Why?" said Alix. She snugged into my side and lay her head on my chest.
"He wants us to give him money, and I told him that we weren't going to. Now he's mad. But you know how Daddy and I always say that when you are mad, you should talk about it? He's not talking about it. Being mad is a normal thing to happen, but you should be responsible about it. Perhaps, when you are mad, if you talk about it, you will no longer be mad. Or maybe you can find a solution so that you are no longer mad. It's important."
"Why does he want you to give him money?"
"I think he doesn't want to work, and he wants Daddy and me to support him so that he doesn't have to work. Val told him that I would give him money, and I refused. But Steve and Val are in a lot of trouble with a lot of people and a lot of people were angry at them, and Daddy and I helped all the people come to a solution. Now all the people aren't mad any longer, but Steve and Val don't like the solution and are acting like spoiled children who didn't get a treat. They are closing their eyes to the fact that the solution is a very good one for them. It was a solution that Granny and Grandpa agreed with and that all the people who are mad at them agreed with."
"Why don't they like it?"
"Steve and Val aren't like you. You three are responsible girls. You own your actions and if you make a mistake, you apologize and make amends. You look after yourselves to the best of your ability and you are good about doing your chores and helping the family as much as you can. Steve and Val don't do that. They are takers, and they expect other people to look after them without giving anything in return. They don't like the solution because it expects them to be responsible for themselves."
The three kids thought about that for a moment. "Mommy? You and Daddy aren't takers either", said Tia. "You are always doing stuff for us."
I smiled sadly. "That's the worst part about having been injured. I can't do as much for you as I'd like."
"You do lots for us", said Grace. "You read to us and cuddle us, you look at our pictures and you talk to us. You go outside and watch us play, even when it is misting out and you have to wrap yourself up in a blanket to stay warm."
"That's true", said Ranger. "You are always there for me to bounce things off, you are there to help me make decisions. You are my partner and I still depend on you. You do all the things that matter."
I swiped a tear from my eyes. "Thank you, because that is important to me and it bothers me that I can't do more."
Ranger leaned over and kissed me. "Don't worry about it", he said. "You've always been my partner in life, and that hasn't changed." I sniffled.
"Stories now?" said Alix sleepily. She handed me her book, and I laughed quietly. Alix, in her own way, was making sure that I knew that I still had something to contribute.
By the time I finished reading the three stories, the three girls were almost asleep. Ranger carried them into Tia's bedroom and covered them as they snuggled into the blankets with each other.
He returned a couple of minutes later with Kai in tow. "I heard you want to try it tonight with a lower-intensity pain reliever", said Kai.
"I find that I am looking forward to the higher intensity pain relievers for emotional impacts just as much as for pain relief."
"What you have to remember, as well, is that it isn't a definite all-night option. After four hours, if you want a stronger pain relief option you can have it. You can also have another acetaminophen with codeine at that time instead. You have options if it isn't working. What are your pain levels at?"
"I'm getting tired and it's been an emotional day."
"Okay?"
"I'm not fighting back the same."
"I know. You only slept an hour during your nap as well, and that too makes it harder to fight."
"My left leg is an eight, and my right leg is a five. My lungs are a one just because they are tight. My muscle tear in my abdomen is a five as well. However, I'm exhausted and I think, if the pain is dialed down, that I will go to sleep easily."
"If you don't go to sleep easily, I can always give you a sedative as well."
"That's another option. I don't want to take it, but it is another option."
"Okay", said Kai as he got out the medication, "I'll dispense an acetaminophen with codeine, I'll hold off on the sedative, and I'll pop into your room in about half an hour to see if you have fallen asleep. If you haven't, we can revisit the sedative option. We can also revisit the sedative option if your pain is still too high to sleep. The sedative will relax you, and that might then push you over the hump so that you can sleep more easily."
"Okay. A couple of years ago I bought chocolate-covered coffee beans." Ranger snorted. "I thought they were the most wonderful food ever invented. They gave me that eyes-popping, hair-raising, wide-awake feeling that I had never before experienced. I was eating them like they were candy. Only, I became addicted to them. Ranger was not so happy with me, and he threw them out. And then he put up with me detoxing. It was awful. I didn't call Ranger names when I was in labor, but I made up for that lack while I was detoxing. I think I called Ranger every name in the book – twice – and then made up some more when I got tired of yelling out the traditional obscenities." Kai laughed. "I do NOT want to go through that hell again."
Kai smiled and handed me a glass of water. "Fair enough", he said. "I don't want to see you go through that again either."
When I finished taking my antidepressants and the painkiller, Kai listened to my heart and lungs, and took my blood pressure. "It's a little high, Steph. What's going on?"
"I think it is just coming down from the day today. I am looking forward to having a few minutes before I fall asleep to just relax, practice my meditation, and just be. Typically, a day like today would not bother me. But with my anxiety as high as it is? Anything out of the ordinary bothers me. I was good when working with the members of the mob. They are nice guys. I wouldn't want to cross them, but they can be reasonable people and I know Harry well and have always gotten along with him. But Steve and Val? They get my anxiety going."
"Why?"
I paused. "I guess it is for a couple of reasons. One, I don't know how to get across to them that they are being idiots, and I feel like I should be able to force them to do what is right just because they are related to me. I'm embarrassed by them and I feel like I should be able to control them. Which I can't. So that's the first thing, but that is more of frustration rather than an anxiety. But the second thing is that I'm probably being silly, but I feel like I am in danger. I know that it is probably a reflection of the fact that I have a limited ability to protect myself. But I'm actually scared rather than anxious."
"Is that why you wanted a lower-intensity painkiller? So that you could wake up more easily?"
"No, but that's a nice side effect."
Kai laughed. "I'll stay in my room, and come and check on you every fifteen to twenty minutes, okay? Because I am close by, if you need anything or something is wrong, just yell and I'll be here."
"Is that okay, Kai?" said Ranger. "I need to host the enforcers."
"That is just fine. I'm reading a good book right now, and I wouldn't mind some time to wind down before bed." He looked at me. "How is your pain now?"
"Better."
"Are you ready for me to change your dressings?"
I sighed. "Go for it."
Ranger sat on the bed and faced me. He held my hand with one of his and brushed the hair out of my face with his other hand. Over the last couple of months, Ranger had supported me through the dressings changes by letting me squeeze his hand when I was in pain, and by smoothing my hair in the way that I found soothing. It was incredibly helpful, and I often didn't know how I'd get through the pain of the dressing changes without him.
