After the dressings were changed and I was settled for the night, Kai reminded me again to just yell, that he was just in the room next to ours, and Ranger thanked him again and left for the main floor. I lay in the dark, thought about the day, and concentrated on meditative breathing, but despite trying my heart rate was ramping up and I started to whimper. I was panicking and shuddering in breaths. My fingers were sparking like firecrackers and my arms were tingling and my body was shaking. I put one hand on my belly and one hand on my chest, and I practiced my belly breathing. No matter how hard I tried though, I couldn't ease myself out of the panic attack.
Just as I was about to give up and call Kai, the door eased open and someone walked in. In the dark, I couldn't tell who it was. The person didn't whisper to me though, and I knew that Kai would have.
I heard the clink of a buckle being undone, and I screamed for Kai. A second later, a hand went over my mouth to silence me, and I shot the heel of my hand up into the man's nose hard enough to break it. I screamed again.
"Fucking bitch", said Steve. "I know that you want me. You have always wanted me." I could feel his blood drip down on my face as he dropped his pants, and as he removed his pants, I screamed a third time.
The door banged open and Kai turned on the lights. He had his gun pointed at Steve. "Step away from Steph."
Steve looked at Kai. "You doing her too? She was always a bit of a slut." He stepped back with his hands in the air. "No harm, no foul", he said. He reached down to pull up his pants.
"Don't. Fucking. Move." Kai sounded deadly and I looked at him in shock. Kai was a nice person who always had a smile on his face, and I thought of him first as a friend and then as a doctor. I rarely thought of him as the soldier that he was, and it was always a surprise to me to see his hard side.
"You want a threesome?"
Ranger arrived at the door to the bedroom and looked inside. "Thank you, Kai", he said. He took Kai's gun from him and pointed it at Steve. He, too, sounded hard as he said, "give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you."
"Because you'd go to jail."
"You think? I didn't go to jail with all the other people that I have killed. So let me ask you again, why shouldn't I kill you?"
"You've actually killed people?"
Ranger stared at him.
"I will take Val away from Steph and make sure that Steph no longer has to deal with her."
"That's a good reason", said Ranger. "I may even let you live. Maybe. What were you planning on doing to Steph?"
"I heard her whimpering in her sleep. I just came in to help her."
"And you needed to drop your pants to do that?"
"Sex always soothed her before."
"You wouldn't know. The last two times you tried to rape her, she fought back. One time, Val walked in. The other time, Steph was able to stop you before Dickie walked in. You never had sex with her."
"That she told you about."
"I know she didn't, because Steph has exceptional taste – and you wouldn't make the cut."
Harry came to the door. "Is Steph okay? I thought I heard her scream."
"It's okay", said Ranger. "Steve decided that it would be a good idea to sneak back into the castle and rape Steph."
Harry snorted. "It was nice knowing you, Steve. Ranger and Steph fought hard for your life this afternoon, but Ranger is the one person that I wouldn't want to cross. He's a hard son-of-a-bitch who makes the mob look like pussies. I'm surprised that he hasn't shot you yet."
"I was thinking he had three legs", said Ranger. "I would first shoot him in his right leg. I would then shoot him in his left leg and, when he was blubbering about that, I would shoot him in his middle leg so that he never rapes anyone again."
"Makes sense to me", said Harry. "I'll help you dig the hole afterwards."
"Oh, no. I wasn't going to kill him. I was going to let him live the rest of his life dickless, pissing out of the bullet hole rather than his dick", said Ranger.
I looked at Ranger, and I could see the residual anger but could also see that he was in control of his emotions. "Ranger?" I said. "Would you mind shooting him outside? I like this carpet, and the kids might be grossed out if there was a blood stain on it."
Ranger smiled at me. "That's true, babe." He turned to Steve. "Let's go outside." He motioned with the gun, and Steve had the sense to look nervous. He moved to pull up his pants. "Leave them", he said. "It will let me see your third leg better. Although, to tell you the truth, it is so small I might need a magnifying glass. Thankfully I'm a good shot." Steve soiled his tighty-whiteys and I shook my head. So did Ranger.
"Won't you let me pull up my pants so that I'm not walking through the castle displaying my dirty underwear?" said Steve.
"No", said Ranger. "You've heard of a scarlet letter, haven't you? This is the same thing, but in this case you're wearing it on your ass to show people what a fucking asshole you are."
Steve looked angry and, as he was walking by Ranger, he reached out for the gun as he kicked Ranger and tried to do a leg sweep. Ranger sighed, hit him in the solar plexus with the heel of his hand, and kicked out his knee. I think everybody in the room heard his knee pop before he started to cry. "Fuck!" he yelled. "That fucking hurts!"
Seconds later, I could hear Raphael say, "no, Grandma. You are not allowed in the kids' bedroom."
"I'm their grandmother", said Grandma. "I'm allowed."
"No", said Garrison. "We are under strict instructions that only Steph and Ranger and Julie and Kai and Hal are allowed into the room. Why do you want in there so much?"
My grandmother stared at them for a moment, and I could tell that she was coming up with a story. "I like watching my great-grandchildren as they sleep", she said finally. I snorted, but I was also a little disappointed. I thought she was going to say that she needed to protect them from aliens.
"That's a little creepy, Grandma", said Raphael. "I hate to tell you, but that would freak me out if I were the kids."
Ranger turned to the growing group of strike team members and looked at Hal. "Would you please throw out the trash? He is not allowed to wear pants, and you can literally leave him outside. He'll be able to crawl to his vehicle, and I made sure that I didn't kick out his driving knee. He'll be able to get himself to a hospital."
"I don't have any goddamned pants", said Steve.
"That's probably a good thing", said Ranger. "Your knee is going to balloon up, and the hospital would have cut your pants off you anyway. Really, I'm doing you a favor."
"It's cold out."
"That will be good for your knee and will reduce the swelling."
"My gitch is dirty!"
"It will help keep you warm." Ranger turned to Hal. "Hal? I've got to deal with Grandma."
Hal smiled. "I will take care of this with pleasure, although you already disabled his knee. I'm thinking that leaves me his ribs."
Ranger grinned. "Nope. Got those too."
"Elbow?"
"All yours."
Steve's underwear got soiled again and a noxious smell arose from him. The strike team members laughed, and Steve's face went red. "Fucking bastards", he said.
Hal circled him. "I don't know", he said. "We weren't the ones that thought it would be wise to rape one of the nicest women that I have ever met, a true hero, a person that every man in this building would fight to the death to protect."
"She's not worth it."
"On the contrary. Steph is more than worth it."
"I was just supposed to be the diversion. Grandma was supposed to get the kids out."
"Out where?"
"To the car."
"So between you and Grandma, you were supposed to provide the diversion and Grandma was supposed to lure the kids away from the castle. Was Val supposed to drive the getaway car?"
"Yes. Fuck, it hurts."
"I understand, and you'll be lucky if I don't accidentally kick it. Now why were you stealing the kids?"
"Fuck you."
Hal looked at Ranger. "Did you get that?"
"Yes", said Ranger. He turned to Grandma. "Why were you stealing the kids?"
"I wasn't stealing them. I was sending them away with their aunt and uncle."
"I hate to tell you, but that is a criminal offense. Why were you sending them away with Val and Steve?"
"Val and Steve have to live without their kids. We wanted you to see what it felt like, so that you allow their kids to live with them."
Ranger looked at her in surprise. "I didn't say that they couldn't have their kids with them. I said that they couldn't visit them in Trenton since we couldn't stop the mob from chasing them. We just gave them some time to get out of Dodge and we told them not to come back or they would be in danger again. Steve is the one that doesn't want the kids. He made that a condition of him taking Val back and, because Val doesn't really like being a mother, she agreed to it. I think they took advantage of you, Grandma, and tried to get you to commit a crime on their behalf."
"I wasn't committing a crime. I was just helping Steve and Val."
"The last I checked, kidnapping was a crime." Ranger turned to Julie. "Would you please check on your sisters and make sure they're okay?"
Julie smiled and slipped into their room. She came back a few seconds later. "They are all asleep and look happy, and I gave each of them a hug and a kiss. I disturbed them when I did, and they woke up readily and went back to sleep just as fast."
"Thanks, Jules", said Ranger. He turned to Grandma. "Where were you supposed to take the kids?"
"Val is waiting in the car. The six of us are going back to Trenton tonight."
"That's hard", said Ranger. "There are no flights out tonight. I already checked."
"Maybe they were booking a private plane. They do have that million dollars."
"A private plane costs about a hundred thousand each way. I highly doubt that Steve will pony up the cash for that."
"You booked a private plane for transferring over your staff."
"That's why I know how much it costs. I had to so that my staff could transport their guns. Airline companies don't tend to like it if you carry on your gun bag otherwise."
Grandma looked excited. "You all have guns here?"
"And each room has a gun safe, and the guns have been taken apart so that the kids – and you – can't use them. Otherwise, it's a safety hazard. I think everybody on the strike team still remembers you shooting Rex."
"It was an accident."
Ranger sighed. "No, Grandma, it wasn't." He turned to two other strike members. "Please guard Grandma's room and make sure she doesn't escape." He looked at Raphael and Garrison. "Good job on guarding the kids. Please continue." He turned to Steve. "Why did you want the kids?"
"Val said that you adore the brats, and you would pay to get them back."
Ranger turned to Hal. "Please cuff Steve, dump him outside the front door, and let Val drive him to the hospital."
"You want him cuffed?" said Hal.
"I think it would be a lot more fun for Steve to explain to the hospital staff why he is in cuffs."
"Can I still wreck his elbow first?"
Ranger smiled. "I'll leave that up to you", he said. "If Steve acts up, I'd suggest that you wreck more than his elbow. I've heard that feet can be very painful."
Hal smiled. "Collarbones are bad too. In fact, we could take a survey for the most uncomfortable broken bone and, when we determine which one it is, we can break that one."
"I'm a doctor", said Kai. "Spines are the best ones to break. His entire nest egg would be taken up by the hospital to pay for his health care expenses. If you do it right, Steve will be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life."
Steve started to beg, and the tears on his face mixed with the snot running from his nose. He dirtied his gitch again and his tighty-whiteys were unable to contain the mess. It dribbled down his leg as Ranger shook his head. "I'll leave it up to you", he said to Hal. "However, I would suggest escorting him from the property and telling him to never come back. He's stinking up the place." He turned to Steve. "I'm letting you off easy since you are a fucking idiot. However, if you come back, I will exercise my right to shoot you up your ass to illustrate what a fucking asshole you are." Steve whimpered in fear. "Ah", said Ranger softly, "you have finally figured out that I'm serious."
Hal and Eduardo pulled him up into a standing position and, as Steve screamed and swore, Tia stuck her head out of the door to her room. "Could you please keep it down? You're going to wake my sisters up. They are just little, and they need their sleep." I tried not to laugh. I could hear shades of myself in her censure.
"It fucking hurts", said Steve.
"And you're a fucking asshole", said Tia. "Go away and don't come back." She looked up at her father's face in shock but, as she was about to apologize for swearing, Ranger and the rest of the men all laughed.
"You heard her", said Ranger. "Unlike some people, Tia is using the brains that God gave her."
My parents climbed the stairs to go to bed as Hal and Eduardo escorted Steve away. "Steve?" said my mother. "Why are you in your underwear?"
Steve, tears flowing down his face, hobbled past and said, "Ranger is vicious. He attacked me."
My mother looked surprised. After a second, she said, "and what did you do before he attacked you?"
"Nothing."
My mom looked up at Hal. Hal sighed. "He tried to rape Steph and then, when he was being escorted from the room, he attacked Ranger. He had already arranged for Grandma to kidnap the kids and he and Val were going to take the kids and Grandma with them as they left so that they could hold the kids for ransom. Steve was providing the diversion while Grandma took the kids."
"Oh my God", said my mother as she made the sign of the cross on her chest. "Did Ma get the girls?"
"No. Ranger had a guard on the girls' door."
"Good. Is Steph okay?"
"I think so. How are you, Steph?" yelled out Hal.
"Hunky-dory", I said. I continued to try to moderate my breathing, and I smiled shakily at Kai and Ranger as they washed Steve's blood off me.
My parents looked back at Steve. "You stink", said my father. He pushed past him and walked into our room. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to see for myself that you're okay."
I smiled at my dad. "I'll be alright. I'm just a little upset right now. I need some time to decompress and have Ranger cuddle me so that I feel safe."
"Is there anything we can do?" said my father.
"I don't think so, thanks", I said.
"If you think of anything, let us know. Anytime. We're going to bed. If you need us, you know where we are."
"Thanks, Dad."
My parents left and everyone dispersed as Grant entered the room and shut the door. "How are you doing?" he said quietly to us.
Everyone looked at me. "A little anxious", I said. "When Steve came in, I was just about to call for Kai. I was having a very intense panic attack and I haven't quite come out of it yet. I still feel so upset that I want to chuck and cry and scream at the same time. I want to curl up in a ball and hide under the blankets, and I am shaking so hard that I feel like the bed has a Magic Fingers mechanism on it and I have put in a few quarters." The men all smiled.
"What I want to know is when you have ever tried a Magic Fingers?" said Kai with a grin. He took out his stethoscope and blood pressure cuff, and he listened to my heart, took my pulse, listened to my lungs, and took my blood pressure. "Slow it down, Steph", he said softly.
I took a deep breath, and Ranger sat beside me and placed his hand on my diaphragm in unspoken support as I tried to slow down my breathing.
"I had some friends who were guys at high school. They suggested that we would all pool our money and rent a room from the Easy ZZZ's motel just off the interstate and have a party. I thought it sounded like fun. I drove myself there, didn't drink anything because I was driving despite the guys trying to get me drunk, tried out the Magic Fingers – and then realized that I was the only girl at the party. When the guys started undressing minutes later, I realized that the guys had believed the propaganda that my grandmother had written on bathroom stall walls and they thought I was a slut who would appreciate being gang raped. I told them that I was getting ice, left, went home and cried myself to sleep. But through it all, I discovered that I don't like Magic Fingers. It makes me feel like a dozen bees are buzzing around me." I paused. "Steve was one of the guys at that get-together. It may even have been his idea."
"I'm going to fucking kill him", said Ranger.
He moved to get up and I grabbed hold of his hand. "Let it go, Ranger", I said tiredly. "I need you here, and that is all water under the bridge. He was a jerk, I always knew it, and he still is a jerk. He thinks he's sex on a stick and it's hard for him. I think a little part of him realizes that he isn't sex on a stick. He's shit on a stick. I think needing to have Val take him to the hospital, cuffed, wearing tighty-whiteys in itself is punishment, let alone the stinky stain that, since he has no pants, is noticeable by everyone. The tighty-whiteys, because they are so tight and the fabric molds to all bumps and lumps, shows that he has no significant bumps and lumps to boast about. Ranger, I think it would be a good idea to phone Davis and report the sexual assault. As Chief of the Inverness Police Department, he would be a good person to get on our side and you know that Steve will try to report you for assault. Besides, now that we are consultants to the police force, it makes sense to stay on their good side."
"You're not okay. I don't want to leave you."
"I'm with Kai and Grant, nothing will happen to me, and I'm sure that, if I ask nicely, Kai will give me some of that magic medication that lets me cope."
"You want a sedative?" said Kai.
I swallowed back a sob. "Yes." I sighed. "I was so proud that I was using the lower intensity pain reliever without a sedative. I saw it as a sign that I was getting better."
"You can't look at this as a failure, Steph", said Grant softly. "This is an unusual circumstance that hopefully will never happen again in your life. It's okay to need a little help."
"It's just hard. With Val here, I felt my injuries and their restrictions more than I did before."
"What do you mean?" said Grant.
"Before, I was proud to be in the wheelchair and being able to move myself around. I am happy that, when we get back to Trenton, I'll be able to get from our apartment down to my office all by myself. I wasn't looking at what I had lost but what I had gained. I wasn't looking at how far I had to go but how far I had come. But Val cornered me and called me some rude and abusive names, and that got to me."
"Like what?" said Grant.
"Like cripple, loser, reject, useless. It hurt, and it made all my gains look irrelevant. It made me feel like I would always be useless, and where a week ago I was proud to have the independence of being in a wheelchair and being able to move myself around, my mood hit rock bottom and I became ashamed of myself." I turned to Ranger. "Please go and call Davis. I won't be able to take it if you are arrested, even if it was only for an hour."
Ranger looked at me, tortured, then looked up at Kai and Grant. Kai nodded his head slightly, and Ranger sighed. "I'll be back as soon as I can", he said. "I'll send Eduardo in."
After Ranger left, Kai looked at me. "What else did she say that you didn't want Ranger to hear?"
I sighed and sobbed at the same time. "I think you know me too well now."
Kai smiled. "What was it?"
I shuddered in a breath. "She called me a vegetable."
"Do you agree with her?"
"No, but it made me scared that I will never become the vibrant person that I was before. So then I was thinking about that when I went to bed and I thought something was going to happen and I was scared because I knew that without full movement I wouldn't be able to defend myself, and I started having the worst panic attack that I have ever had. I was just about to call for help. I didn't want to take a sedative, but I was hoping that you'd be able to guide me through fighting back myself, Kai. And then Steve came in."
Eduardo slipped into the room, took one look at me, and said, "I just got back from watching Val help Steve to his feet and half carry him to the van, all the while trying not to get close to the shit stain on his gitch. He apparently told her exactly what happened, as she slapped him on his face, shoved him into the car, and peeled out of here as if the Hounds of Hell were chasing her. It will be interesting what happens when he gets to the hospital. What exactly happened in here?"
"Steve came in, I called Kai, Steve silenced me, I broke his nose, he dropped his pants, Kai came in, turned on the light, and told him not to move, Ranger came up, threatened to shoot him in all three legs but decided to let him go when Steve promised to take Val away and make sure that she never approached me again. Meanwhile, my grandmother tried to kidnap the kids so that they could hold them for ransom and Val was keeping her hands clean by hiding in the van out the front."
"How do you feel?"
"Upset", I said as I swiped a tear angrily from my face.
"Tell me about it."
"I couldn't protect my kids."
"I understand, but that has nothing to do about being in a wheelchair. That has everything to do with being preoccupied with fighting back so that you weren't raped. Besides, because of your Spidey-sense, Ranger had two guards on their door. You still were protecting them, even though you were busy breaking Steve's nose."
I shuddered in a sob. "She called me a vegetable, Eduardo."
"Rude and incorrect. You have incredible value and that hasn't changed now that your method of getting around has changed. You are still the incredible person that you were before. Ranger sees that, your kids see that, your parents see that, and every single person on the Rangeman team sees that. Look, Steph, is someone getting around in a golf cart less valuable than someone getting around in a limo? Of course not. It is just a method of transportation. The same can be said of you. Whether you walk, run or use a wheelchair, you are the same person. It doesn't matter how you get around. That has no impact on the kind of person you are."
Kai filled the syringe, disinfected a site, and gave me the shot.
Eduardo sat beside me on the bed. He put his hand on my diaphragm. "Breathe", he said. "Slow it down, Steph. You're hyperventilating."
"The kids were in danger."
"Not really. The kids are smart and there were two soldiers protecting them, and Grandma wasn't allowed in the room. The kids were okay."
"What happens when they find out that Grandma was going to kidnap them?"
"Then Tia will remember looking outside her room and seeing fifteen soldiers there to protect her, and she will tell the other two."
"What kind of environment are we raising our kids in that they have to be protected? How horrible parents are we?"
"I would actually say that the other way around. Aren't you lucky that, at the hint of danger, you have soldiers at the ready, willing to protect your kids? You are incredible parents", said Eduardo. "There isn't one soldier in this building who hasn't loved spending time with your kids. They are well-behaved, but they have a zest for life. All three of them love to laugh, always have smiles on their faces, and are some of the nicest kids that I have ever met. They are not only secure in your love, but they are secure in everybody's love. I think every soldier has had at least one hug from each of them. Everybody wants to be on their protection detail, and when there are supposed to be two people looking after the little ones, often there are more like eight playing games with them. I have heard quite a few of the men saying that they weren't looking forward to going back because they will miss the girls. That has only come about because you are incredible parents. And now that your method of transportation is different than before? You are still the incredible parent you always were. You still spend a lot of time with your kids, you do what you can to look after them, and they are getting the quality of love and caring from you that they always did. They know that you are still backing them and that you'll always be there for them, and they are totally secure in your love." I gulped in air as if I had just sprinted for ten yards – not even noticeable when Ranger did it, but I would be in danger of having a heart attack after ten yards. Maybe even eight. "Slow it down, Steph. You can do this."
I whimpered as I gulped air. "This is the worst panic attack that I've had yet."
"On a scale of zero to ten, where is your panic?"
"About a ten, although it is starting to fall."
"Good. Hopefully that will continue. A ten is not a comfortable place to be. Why was your panic so high?"
"I started thinking about all the things that I no longer could do. I thought about the fact that I could no longer protect myself or worse, no longer protect my kids. With Val calling me a vegetable, it thrust me down into a depressive state and I felt useless and worthless, and as though I could no longer provide value to the world. And because of that I felt suicidal."
Eduardo looked at me. "Do you still feel suicidal?"
"A bit. Not being able to protect my kids has been a real kick in the pants."
"I know", said Eduardo. "I think, when you go back to Trenton, you should work with Miles to learn the self-defence that Noah learned, the routines that allowed him to protect himself. Just because you are in a wheelchair does not make you useless. Just because you need help does not make you helpless. Everybody needs help sometimes, whether you have wheels or feet to get yourself around. And like you wouldn't get frustrated with someone else needing wheels, you don't deserve to get frustrated with yourself either."
