Eduardo and Kai and Grant calmed me down before Ranger got back. Between their counselling and the medication, I was feeling much more relaxed and less suicidal. I still didn't feel great, but I was much better than I was.
Ranger walked into the room and looked at me. I smiled at him a little loopily, and I could see Ranger calm down. "How did it go with the Police Chief?" I said.
Ranger smiled. "He took my statement, took Hal's statement, said that he would go to the hospital himself and take Steve's statement, and arrest him in his tighty-whiteys and take him to jail like that. He thought that was particularly funny that we had sent him to the hospital with no pants, on the theory that we sent him how we found him, and he said that he would never mess with us and that we were tough. He laughed even harder when I told him that your first person that you took to jail you took in bare naked. Then I told him about the Vaseline man."
"Oh God, you didn't."
Ranger grinned. "It's a good story. He also said to pass on his respects to you, Steph, and that no one should have to deal with the potential of being raped. He said we might have to come back to see Steve in court, but somehow I think Lindsay and Heather and Angus would like any excuse for our return."
"But did you have to tell the Vaseline story?"
"It's funny."
"That's because you weren't covered in Vaseline and trying to catch that slippery bastard. I'll tell you what. I've got another story that you can tell instead."
"Uh-hunh? What is that?"
"A woman is mad at her husband, and as she is walking home she discovers a beautiful lamp in the bushes. She picks it up and rubs the dirt off it, and a genie appears. 'I'll give you three wishes', said the genie. 'Just realize that whatever you wish for, your husband will get twice as much.' The woman thinks carefully. 'I wish that I was a multibillionaire.' Poof, she was extremely wealthy – but her husband was twice as wealthy as her. 'For my second wish, I wish that I was incredibly beautiful.' Poof, and she was absolutely, knock-down gorgeous. But her husband was more attractive than her. She thought carefully. 'For my third wish, I want you to scare me half to death.'" I looked at Ranger as he laughed. "I'm just saying, I found an old lamp in the castle. Do not tell that Vaseline story."
Ranger laughed hard.
Eduardo and Kai and Grant smiled as Kai looked at me. "Pain and anxiety levels?"
"My left leg is a four, and that is quite liveable. The other parts are less. My anxiety has really dialed down and is now a three. I think, when I cuddle with Ranger and know that he is there to protect me, that it will reduce more again."
Kai turned to Ranger. "Are you done for the night?"
Ranger sighed. "More than done."
"Then we'll leave and let you get ready for bed. If you need another painkiller during the night, come and get me."
"Thanks, Kai", said Ranger.
As the men filed out of the room, Eduardo and Grant said to Kai, "what is the Vaseline man story?"
Kai laughed as I groaned loudly, and he shut the door as he started to tell the story.
Ranger changed into his sleep pants and a t-shirt, and he finished in the washroom and climbed into bed. "I really need to cuddle you, babe", he said as he turned out the light.
"I need to cuddle you, too. I need the reassurance."
He pulled me into his body and, as I buried my nose in his chest and let his scent soothe me, he said, "what did Venomous Val say to you that makes you need the reassurance?"
I sighed. "Don't get mad."
"Okay? This must have been a doozy."
"She called me a vegetable."
Ranger froze in anger, then took a deep breath. "That is utterly and asininely ridiculous. It is something that no one should ever be called. There is value in everyone. Stephen Hawking had more physical challenges than most people yet provided exceptional value in this world. You are a beloved wife, an incredible mother, a well-loved friend and a talented Vice-President. You are not a so-called vegetable."
"She hurt my feelings. When she said that, I started thinking about all the things that I can't do now, and it made me feel useless. Eduardo suggested that I work with Miles to learn self-defence from a sitting position. That's what Miles did with Noah, and I think that will be good for me. I know that tonight, when everyone left the room and I was trying to go to sleep, I had the biggest panic attack that I have ever had. I felt like I was in danger and I kept hearing Val's vicious comments going through my head, and I felt like I was a sitting duck and couldn't protect myself. Thank you for putting the guards on the door to the kids' bedroom."
"There are going to be guards on both the kids' door and Grandma's door throughout the night too. I have broken the night into two shifts of four hours each. While I don't expect a problem, your grandmother is a bit of a loose cannon, and I could see her trying to kidnap the kids, borrowing a car and driving the kids somewhere to meet Steve and Val. I figured, for the price of having a guard, it was worth it for our peace of mind."
I snorted. "I appreciate it."
"So you felt hurt by Val's comments?"
"Yes. My mood plummeted and I became suicidal, and I felt completely useless and worthless. Being called a vegetable and a cripple is hard. They are disgusting terms that are offensive, and they make you feel like crap. Even handicapped or disabled makes you feel like a lesser person."
"I can understand that. Babe, unfortunately, there are disgusting and offensive words in this society. We have to fight back against them and tell people that they are offensive, give them a smackdown, but at the same time recognize it is a failure of the person using those terms rather than a failure of the person who had the terms thrown at them. What did you say when she called you those things?"
I sighed. "I didn't react well."
"What happened?"
"I told her that my infirmity was physical and it stopped me from doing some things, but at least I had my intelligence and my determination and my ambition. However, like me she had an infirmity but, while she could do everything with her body, she had proven many times that her mind was a little questionable."
Ranger smiled. "And that was the smackdown that she deserved."
"I was glad when you pointed out her infidelity to Steve at dinner."
"I couldn't take much more of them."
I smiled. "I understand that completely."
Ranger pulled me into his body and kissed me gently. "I love you."
"Eduardo told me that wheels or feet were just a way to get around and using one or the other was completely irrelevant."
"I'd agree with that."
"Do you care that I'm in a wheelchair?"
"The only thing I care about is whether you are in pain", said Ranger. "Eduardo is right. Whether you get around by wheels or feet doesn't matter."
"You are having to do a lot more with the kids."
"And they are older now and can do a lot more for themselves. I don't mind, babe. They are my kids too, and I like spending the time with everyone. For instance, I know that you have to go to bed earlier. But my favorite time of the day is when we have all gotten ready for bed and you read stories to the girls, and we talk and share about our days. That's a special time for me, and it's a time I look forward to each day." I gave a jaw-cracking yawn. The sedative was really hitting me. "Go to sleep, babe. We can talk more in the morning."
I smiled, closed my eyes, took another sniff, and fell asleep.
I only woke once in pain, and when Kai came through I made the decision to have another medium-intensity painkiller. He dispensed the medication, told me to call him if I wanted a sedative as well, and left again. When I woke in the morning, I was proud and relieved that I had slept twelve hours on two medium-intensity painkillers and a sedative. It made me feel like I was getting better.
After breakfast, Ranger and Kai helped me get ready for the day. When I was ready, Ranger carried me down to my wheelchair and I went into my office. I did some administrative work for the office until lunch. Just before the meal bell went, I sent an invitation to the Research staff for a videoconference for five o'clock my time. I figured that, since we were going back to Trenton in a few days, it would be a good idea to talk to everyone.
Lunch was a quiet affair. Val and Steve were thankfully gone. Davis, the Police Chief, came to share the meal and told us that Steve had been arrested. He didn't arrest Grandma simply because she was suffering from dementia. Val was staying in a B&B. Steve's knee was apparently the size of a balloon and he had a torn ligament. He was claiming assault, but Ranger had witnesses to say that it was self-defence.
The kids were tired from being disturbed the night before and were a little whiny. They were not pleased when I told them that they had to have a nap, but they were happier when I told them that they could have a nap with me. Before we went to sleep, Ranger and I again gave them the talk that they mustn't go with anyone other than a few select people, and we reminded them that anyone other than those people needed to give them the safe word before the kids would agree to go with them. I asked them what the safe word was, and all three remembered. "Dagnabbit twinkle toes", said the three girls with relish. We had been talking to them about using that phrase for about two years, and we reminded them of it regularly. The kids just liked it based on how it sounded.
Grant promised to wake me at four, an hour before my meeting, and he dosed me with another pain reliever. The kids and I were soon asleep and I slept until a sound woke me up. My grandmother was sitting on the side of the bed. She had woken the three girls, and they were sitting as far away from my grandmother as they could, leaning against the headboard with linked arms. "You have to say the secret words if you want us to go with you", said Tia.
"Yeah", said Alix. "We can't tell you what the secret words are. Only Mommy and Daddy and Julie and Annie Tay-Tay and Uncle Joe and the three of us know them."
"That only applies to strangers", said Grandma. "That doesn't apply to me."
"Nuh-uh", said Grace. "It applies to everybody. Even Hal and Kai have to know the secret words."
"I know what they are. Abracadabra."
The three girls giggled. "Nuh-uh", said Tia. "That's a magic word, not a secret word."
Grandma reached over and tried to pull Alix off the bed. Alix kicked Grandma hard. "Say the secret words", she said.
I forced my eyes open and fought against the medication haze. "What the fuck, Grandma?"
"Mommy", said Grace, "you said a bad word."
I ignored Grace and glared at Grandma. "Why are you trying to kidnap the kids again?"
"You don't deserve kids after taking the Val's away from her."
"So what was the plan?"
"I was going to get the kids, and drive them to Val. She will take good care of them."
"First of all, we didn't take Val's kids away from her. Steve told Val that, for her to join him, she had to leave the kids behind. We did tell Val that she couldn't come to Trenton to visit the kids if they don't want to die. The mob is after them and has told them that, if they see them again, they will kill them. We are not holding Val back from her kids. If it weren't for Steve, she could have Albert drive her kids to her new town and look after them there. That's the first part.
"But the second part is your actual plan. Do you know where Val is?"
"At the Rosemont B&B."
"How do you know that?"
"Val called me this morning. She told me where the keys are for the cars, and she told me that I needed to get the girls. She was going to ask for ten million dollars each for the girls, and she was going to give a million to me."
"I see. So Val was going to get twenty-nine million and you would get one, but you were taking all the risk. Does that make sense?"
"Of course it makes sense. I would like to be a millionaire."
"You'd be a criminal and would be in jail."
"You'd never suspect me of taking the kids."
"Grandma", I said as I strived for patience. "You don't have a driver's licence anymore, and that is for a reason. You are no longer a safe driver. With your cataracts you no longer see well enough, and you tend to hit things."
"It's not my fault that people put houses there when I wasn't looking."
"More importantly, can you honestly imagine Ranger ever accepting his kids being kidnapped? He would hunt down and would wreak retribution on every single person who was involved, and just because you were related to me would not be reason enough for him not to seek revenge on you. And trust me, you do not want Ranger to seek revenge on you."
"What would happen, Mommy?" said Tia.
"I have been kidnapped before. Daddy found me fast, and after Daddy made sure that they wished that they hadn't taken me, he put them in jail and they are still there. If Grandma took you without saying the secret words, Daddy would make sure that she spent the rest of her life in jail."
"Yeah!" said Alix.
I reached over and picked up my phone and sent a text to Ranger. "Grandma here. Come quickly."
"Girls, you did a good job remembering that you only go with people when they have said the secret words, and you have done an even better job of keeping those words secret. While Grandma tries to figure out another way to get you to come with her – and never go with Grandma or Aunt Val or Uncle Steve even if they did know the secret words – perhaps you could all give me a hug. Daddy is going to be here soon as well, and I know that he is going to want a hug too. He is going to be so proud of you for remembering that people must have the secret words and, if they don't know them, you don't go with them."
The three girls piled on me, one on each side and one on my lap. I looked down, and the girls all looked a little anxious. "Mommy? Where did GG want to take us?" said Grace.
"Grandma wanted to take you to see Aunt Val, and Aunt Val wanted to tell us that she was only going to give you back if we gave money to her."
"Would you?"
I kissed all of them. "Daddy would find you before it ever got to a money exchange. He would find you and bring you home safe, and he would put Val in jail."
The three girls thought about that. "Can you put Val in jail now?" said Alix. "Then she can't steal us."
"That is something we will talk to Daddy about."
Ranger walked in, his eyes alert and his body tense. As he entered, Grandma got up and sidled towards the door.
"Stop right there", I said. I said it in the same tone that I used with Bob, and it was just as ineffective. Grandma kept going and Ranger put out his arm, stopped her, led her to a chair and forcefully told her to sit. She luckily listened to him a lot more than she listened to me. Of course, so did Bob.
"What's going on, babe?" said Ranger as he looked at the kids all cuddled into me.
Alix looked at him. "GG doesn't know the secret words, Daddy."
"She tried to get us to go with her, but she said the secret word was abracadabra", said Grace.
"We told her that was a magic word, not a secret word", said Tia.
"GG got mad and tried to pull us off the bed", said Alix. "We linked arms like Julie taught us. She says that it is harder to move three girls than it is to move one."
"Strength in numbers", said Tia. "That's what she says."
"I kicked her hard", said Alix. "She grabbed hold of my arm and was pulling me."
"Mommy woke up and told GG that you would hunt her down if she took us. And you would hunt Val down as well", said Grace.
Ranger smiled at each of the kids. "It sounds like you did a good job at protecting yourselves. And Mommy is right. I would hunt down and hurt anyone that had hurt you in any way, whether it is someone that hit you or someone that stole you." He turned to Grandma. "What was the plan?"
"I was supposed to take the kids to Val, and she was going to demand ten million dollars for each child for their return. She was then going to give me a million for myself and keep the rest."
"So Val was planning on you going to jail while she took the money and disappeared?"
"She wouldn't do that to me. She was going to take me with her."
"Do you think? It seems a little suspect when she was complaining about looking after you when you were in Trenton with her."
"She didn't complain. I was the perfect guest."
"Uh-hunh. That's not what she said to Steph on the phone."
"Then she's wrong. Steph misheard. Val and I get along well. She doesn't ask me to do all the things that Helen and Frank ask me to do."
"Edna", said Ranger. I could tell that he was furious. When he wasn't, he called her 'Grandma'. "Edna, Val is setting you up. She is asking you to steal the kids, take them to her, and give them to her to hold for ransom. She is asking you to take all the risk on the theory that we won't charge you because you are old and senile."
"I am NOT old and senile."
"Really? Then how do you explain your failure to see that Val is setting you up to spend the rest of your life in prison?"
"It was a good plan. She was going to give me a million dollars."
"What would you do with a million dollars?" I said.
"Hire good-looking men to attend to my every wish."
"I thought Harvey from church was willing to do that."
"I said good-looking. Harvey has lost a lot of hair on top and seems to have moved it to his ears and nose. His eyebrows are bushy as well. They look like caterpillars marching across his face."
The little ones started to laugh. "Better than a stink bug", said Tia.
"Or a slimy worm", said Grace.
"Nuh-uh", said Alix. "Worms aren't slimy."
The kids seemed to be coming out of their upset, but I decided to push it along a bit. "Kind of reminds me of my favorite song when I was your age", I said.
"No! No! Don't sing!" said Ranger with a grin.
I stuck my tongue out at him, and the kids laughed. I started to sing. "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go and eat some worms. Long skinny slimy ones, short fat and juicy ones, itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy wor-r-rms. In goes the first one, in goes the second one, in goes the third little worm. Long skinny slimy ones, short fat and juicy ones, itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms. U-u-up comes the first one, u-u-up comes the second one, how they like to wiggle and squirm. Long skinny slimy ones, short fat and juicy ones, itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms."
The kids laughed, and Ranger shook his head. "Your childhood was much different than mine", he said.
I laughed.
Ranger turned to Grandma. "Because you are old and senile, I would feel ridiculous putting you in jail."
"I am NOT old and senile."
"We have already established that you are", I said. "Otherwise, you would have seen through Val's plan immediately. You used to always be smart in the past, but believing Val? Not smart."
My grandmother's lip went out, and she crossed her arms and sat in a sullen silence.
"So I am not going to put you in jail", said Ranger. "However, I do not want you around my family without a guard. So from now until we leave for Trenton, you are going to have a guard with you. You are no longer making responsible decisions and I have to protect my family from you." He turned to me. "You look like you need another nap. I'll take the kids with me, and Grandma, let's go and assign a guard to you."
"I don't need a guard."
"I think I'll assign Jorge first. I don't know if you know him. He's good-looking and kind, and he has a great smile."
Grandma grinned. "Having a guard is a good idea, Ranger. Are your guards interested in a little nooky?"
Ranger smiled, and when I looked at him I could see the mirth in his eyes. "Unfortunately, that is something they aren't allowed to do while on duty."
Grandma sighed as Ranger sat on the side of the bed and Tia climbed on his back. He picked up the twins, one in each arm, and said, "let's go, monsters. Let's let Mommy finish her nap."
Grace threw me a kiss as they walked out of the room. Satisfied that Ranger was with the girls, I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.
