Flashback: Part Seven
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Monday afternoon…
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Lee sat quietly in the Q Bureau with the door locked. He realized that he was gripping his fists into tight balls and clenching his jaw in response to what he was reading. The words he read were intense, stinging like daggers and he had to remind himself to breathe occasionally. Being absorbed in the debriefing, he never heard the door open.
"Lee?" Amanda called out when she entered the room. "I didn't think anyone was in here. The door was locked."
Looking up, he answered in a guarded tone. "I didn't want to be disturbed."
"Are you all right?"
He nodded as he again noticed his hands were balled up in fists. Relaxing them, he took a deep breath and answered. "I was fulfilling a promise."
She tilted her head to the side. "Which promise was that?"
"I met with Billy this morning, before my appointment with Pfaff. Since then, I've been catching up on my classified reading."
"You've been busy," she answered, appearing slightly ill at ease. She leaned on the side of her desk. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room for a couple of moments. "How did things go with Billy?"
Standing up, Lee crossed the room and locked the door to give them privacy. "Billy's concerned about me, about us," he started to explain as his tall frame leaned against the door, his voice low, barely above a whisper. "More about me, I think. He kept reminding me that my partner was handling things better than I was. He reiterated that I won't be working in the field anytime soon, which at the moment is fine with me."
"He didn't suspend you, did he?" she worried.
"No. I think he wanted to wring my neck when he found out I took off and went to Vegas."
"I wasn't too thrilled with you when I found out either."
Taking several steps, he propped himself up on his wife's desk next to where she was leaning and reached for her hand. Holding it in his for a moment, he caressed it. "You've been more than gracious about my behavior in the casino considering you found me with two women."
Amanda pulled her hand out of his, folding her arms across her chest. "I rationalized to myself that you were too drunk to know who was holding you up at the time."
"I was pretty drunk, but I want to assure you, nothing happened. They just slithered up to me once I started winning," he explained as he glanced over at his wife's face.
"Slithered is a good way to describe those two vipers," she answered with a disapproving stare as she took a seat on her desk next to him.
"I owe you an apology for a lot of things the last few days. Taking off without telling you where I was going or talking to you about how I felt."
"Your leaving hurt me the most, Lee. I understand why you did it now, but it still hurts."
"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I hoped you'd understand I wasn't leaving you. I was running away, but I realize now what impression I left," he remarked, hanging his head in shame. "Pfaff is helping me work through all this. You were right to insist I see him. I spent two hours in his office today. Somehow, the issues I didn't think I could handle don't seem quite as formidable now."
"Promise me you'll continue to see him?" she urged.
"I will. I have another appointment set up with him tomorrow. You know Billy, he made it sound like my job depended on it," Lee joked, trying to lighten the mood, but he knew it wasn't a joke.
"Your marriage depends upon it, too," Amanda answered and from the serious look on her face, she meant it.
"I know it does and I won't let you down again," he answered, placing his hand on her thigh, half expecting her to remove it like a piece of lint. Instead, she gave him a small smile. Things between them had improved slightly since his epiphany in the hotel room, following his meltdown, but they still had a long way to go.
"You read my debriefing?" she asked, nodding towards his computer.
"Yeah, Billy didn't want to give me access to it, but he said you insisted and he relented. I was just finishing it when you came in." Tears filled his eyes once more and he rubbed his hand across his face. His voice was unsteady, but he remarked. "I don't know how you survived everything."
"The same way you survived in the other room. The best way to defeat your opponent is to never give in and never give up. It was killing Birol that he couldn't break either of us. He underestimated the power of love. No, maybe he didn't underestimate it; my guess is he never knew how to love."
Lee nodded. She was right. He made it through those dark hours because he knew she was in the other room. "He knew how to hate, Amanda. He was brought up to hate. He detested the freedoms we take for granted."
"We may take a lot of things for granted, but try to take our freedoms away from us and we'll fight to the death," Amanda added. "Birol never figured it out."
"It led to his downfall," he concurred.
"And his death."
Reaching for her hand once more he took it in his. His thumb gently stroked her palm. The contact, far from intimate, had a soothing effect. Despite the damage Birol had done to their psyches, the harm was beginning to fade and perhaps now they were on the right path.
"You were right to insist that I read your debriefing. It was hard at times, but Birol's lies and embellishment were far worse than the reality, despite how brutal he was."
"Lee, can I ask you something?" she asked, not looking him in the eye, but staring at their hands which were still entwined.
"Anything."
Shifting her eyes to his, she asked him point blank. "Would it have mattered if Birol had raped me?"
Taking a long deep breath, Lee's grip on her hand faded, his eyes broke contact with hers and he slid off the desk. Walking over to the window, he stared out at the street below before finally turning towards her. She was still sitting on her desk staring at him, waiting patiently for a response.
"I wish I could say it wouldn't have, but honestly, I don't know," he shrugged, knowing that wasn't much of an answer. "I guess that's not the answer you want to hear, but it's the truth."
Amanda pushed off her desk, opened the drawer and reached for her purse. "I better get out of here. I've got to pick up the boys or the coach will have to drive them home from practice."
Lee could tell from her face that she was upset. "Amanda, wait," crossing the room quickly, Lee grabbed the locked door before she could open it.
"Lee, I appreciate your honesty, but I guess I don't understand."
Closing his eyes, he wasn't sure he could explain it to her. "I'm not sure I understand it myself. Maybe after I work things through with Pfaff, I can give you an honest answer."
"I think you already did."
"Maybe I did," he answered with a shrug before he reached out for her hands. The simple act of touching her and holding her hands was comforting, unlike just a few days before when they were in Vegas and he couldn't bear her touch. "When we were in Las Vegas, I made several promises to you."
"And you've kept every one of them," she noted, but with distance in her voice.
"I only asked one of you, Amanda. I asked you to be patient with me; to give me time. You've known me for a long time and you know how the agent in me operates. Anything that gets close to me, tangles with my emotions, I run from. I put a big fence up and a sign with large red letters – 'No trespassing'," he reminded her. "You've never liked that fence. You tore it down piece by piece."
"But you've put it back up."
"I didn't do it alone, Amanda," he insisted, hoping that she'd understand. "Birol helped rebuild that fence. It's going to take a lot of work to bring it down. It was my survival mechanism for years. It helped me survive Birol's lies. It's hard to change what has worked in the past."
She smiled at him. "I'll give you the time you need, Lee. I'll help you bring the wall down again – once and for all, if you'd let me."
He pulled her into his arms. The feeling was again a pleasant one. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.
Instead of pulling him closer, she pushed away from him, but grinned.
"What's wrong?" he asked, perplexed at her action. Why was she pushing him away yet smiling?
"That's the first time you told me you loved me since this whole nightmare began."
"No…" he shook his head in doubt.
Amanda raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Trust me. I've been waiting to hear those three little words for what seems like an eternity."
"I didn't realize…"
"It's OK, Lee. It came from your heart. That's how it had to be," she answered, her voice filled with emotions and eyes brimming with tears. "It was worth the wait. I'll keep my promise to you as long as you keep yours. I'll give you all the time you need to work things through. I just wish you'd let me help you."
"Amanda, you've done the most to help me. You have for a long while."
"I'm your wife. I'm supposed to be there for you," she reminded him.
He shook his head and smiled. "Most wives wouldn't have done what you did for me. It was you who rescued me from myself when I went to Vegas to escape. You didn't have to. Billy would have gladly sent Francine to stuff my ass back on a plane if you'd told him where I was."
"I didn't want Billy to know how bad a shape you were in," she admitted.
"That's exactly what I mean. You look out for me even when I don't care anymore. I can only imagine how much I hurt you when you saw me with those two women coddling up beside me at a craps table, but you didn't cause a commotion, you turned the other cheek."
"I would have if they hadn't left when I told them who I was. I was extremely angry at the time, but you were really drunk. I had my hands full just getting you back to your room."
"And that's the other thing. You could have left me there, passed out on my bed, but you stayed by my side and poured coffee down my throat until I sobered up. Then you accompanied me on the plane, back to Virginia and welcomed me home like nothing happened. You've helped me despite myself. For that alone I can never thank you enough. You're one remarkable woman, Amanda Stetson."
Instinctively, Lee leaned over and kissed her lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but it was more than the quick good night kisses that he'd been affording her the last week. He opened his eyes as he pulled away.
A beautiful smile appeared on her face.
"Let me guess, I haven't kissed you much either."
She kissed him back and gently rubbed her lipstick off the corner of his lip with her finger. "No, you haven't," she answered in a caring voice.
Looking away, his body suddenly stiffened. Running a hand through his hair, he shuffled from one foot to the other.
"Is something wrong?" she pressed.
Shaking his head, he realized another important issue in his life - their lives. Finally, he answered; his voice considerably unsure of himself. "We haven't, um… made love since all this happened either, have we?"
Shrugging silently, she didn't answer.
Feeling out of sorts, he wasn't sure what to say. Despite the honest discussion they were having, he knew with everything that had happened, the kidnapping and beatings, Birol's lies, that making love was a step he wasn't ready for - yet. "We will, you know - soon. I promise things will get better, Amanda."
"I know they will, sweetheart. I promised I'll be patient with you. I remember how patient you were with me."
His face brightened at the memory. "That was different."
"Was it?" she challenged, raising her eyebrow at the idea. "We just have to take it a day at a time for now."
"Sounds like good advice."
"I'd better get out of here. I need to pick up my car. They called earlier and said the repairs were finally finished. I should still have enough time to pick up our dry cleaning before they close and get to the field before practice is over or Coach Cramer will have to drive the boys again. He's been doing that a lot lately and I don't want the courtesy to become an obligation."
"How about you let me get the car and pick up the boys?" Lee suggested.
"You don't mind?"
"Not at all," he answered, reaching into his pocket for the keys to his Corvette. "I just need to log off my computer. You can pick up the dry cleaning and we'll meet you at home."
"I love you," she said as they traded car keys.
"I love you, too, Mrs. Stetson."
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End Part Seven
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Flashback:
Part Eight
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Monday evening
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"Hey, Lee, what are you doing here?" Phillip asked when his stepfather arrived at the practice field.
"I heard you needed a ride home," Lee Stetson answered.
"The coach would've given us a lift if Mom didn't make it. Where is she?"
"She had other errands to do. We're going to meet back at the house."
"You got the car back, huh?" Phillip remarked with a grin.
"Yup, it looks as good as new," Lee commented as he ran his hand across the front of the car. All the damage from the car accident was gone; it had been repainted and appeared like nothing had happened.
"Sure does. Jamie and I will get our gear and I'll tell coach you're here instead," Phillip said as he raced back onto the field.
Lee waved to Coach Cramer when Phillip talked to him. Then the boys grabbed their gloves and bat and hurried to the car.
"Would you guys like to go for some ice cream?" Lee asked when the boys piled into the car.
"Can we go to Carl's Dairy? He's got the best ice cream?" Phillip requested.
"Fine by me, what do you say, Jamie?" Lee asked, glancing in the rear-view mirror at his other stepson. He answered with a lackluster shrug. "Is everything all right, Jamie? Are you feeling sick?"
"No, I'm fine. Just tired and hot. Carl's is all right with me."
"Then the ice cream ought to help cool you down." Lee drove towards Carl's Dairy and listened to Phillip chat excitedly about the how practice went. Pulling up to ice cream store, there was a line as usual, but the three of them got out of the car and waited. It moved pretty quickly and before they knew it, they were sitting at one of the picnic tables nearby eating their ice cream.
"If we win tomorrow, we make the playoffs. If we lose tomorrow, our season's over," Phillip chatted incessantly.
"It's not exactly the end of the world if we lose tomorrow night," Jamie complained.
"Shut up, worm brain. You're only saying that because you're not in tomorrow's starting lineup."
"Am not. There are other things to do this summer other than play baseball," Jamie shouted.
"Fellas, enough, both of you," Lee warned, putting a stop to their argument before it turned into a fist fight. He swallowed hard, not sure how to start the conversation he wanted to have with them. "Besides, I wanted to talk to you about something else anyway."
"What's up, Lee?" Phillip asked nonchalantly.
Lee tried to relax, but he was nervous. The last few weeks had been tense at the house. He wanted to explain that things were going to get better. "I wanted to talk to you about your mother and me," Lee started to explained.
"Here it comes," Jamie announced, shooting an awkward glance at his brother.
Lee wasn't sure what his younger stepson meant by that statement. Taking a deep breath, he started to discuss an important situation with them. "You know your mother and I have been going through a rough couple of weeks…"
"I knew it! You're splitting up." Jamie erupted angrily and started to storm off.
"Jamie, wait a second," Lee urged, hurrying after his stepson. Catching up with him, he gripped his arm firmly. "Come back and sit down, Jamie, please. Let me explain some things to you."
"Let me go. What's there to explain?" Jamie shouted as he tried to wiggle out of Lee's grasp.
The next thing Lee realized was Phillip standing next to him with an intense glare, apparently ready to protect the brother who moments ago, he wanted to fight.
"Let him go, Lee," Phillip insisted as he stood between Lee and Jamie.
Lee released Jamie's arm. "Fellas, please. Let's go back and sit down and discuss this calmly. You're getting the wrong idea."
"Mom said you were stressed out and needed space, but I didn't think you two were going to divorce or anything," Phillip remarked.
"Will you two stop? I'm not leaving your mother," Lee appealed; the conversation had gotten way out of control. Putting a hand firmly on each of their shoulders, he marched them back to the picnic table they'd been sitting at. "Sit down, both of you and let me explain things to you before you two have me burned at the stake for crimes I didn't commit."
"You left last week," Jamie reminded him.
"You're right, I did and for that, I'm truly sorry." Lee ran his hand nervously through his hair. When he left unexpectedly last week, he never gave any thought to the impression he gave to Phillip or Jamie. Certainly, Amanda hadn't been in the best frame of mind either. Looking at Jamie first, then Phillip, he pleaded. "Give me five minutes. That's all I'm asking."
Phillip glanced at Jamie and shrugged. Jamie turned away, but this time didn't stalk off. "We're listening," Phillip answered for the both of them.
"I'm not proud of what I did last week. Avoiding difficult emotional situations is an old defense mechanism of mine. I didn't mean to upset your mother or either of you, but that's exactly what I did. The last case your mother and I were involved in went… really badly. I wasn't running out on your mother. I was hiding from myself. I've apologized to your mother and now I'm apologizing to you."
"Grandma told us your cover was blown. That's why you were having nightmares, huh?" Phillip mentioned.
"Yeah," Lee nodded, wishing that his stepsons weren't so observant.
"We saw the bruises on your…" Jamie broke his grim, silent stare and started to comment before being elbowed by Phillip and his voice faded to silence.
Lee swallowed hard, remembering they had tried to cover up the bruises with long sleeve shirts and high collars, but apparently, they were less than successful in their attempt. "You know I can't go into details, but suffice it to say, your mother and I were lucky to come out of it with just bruises. I was having a lot of trouble dealing with things. To be honest, I still am. It's going to take more time."
Lee stopped for a moment and took a deep breath; trying to focus on the present and not allowing Addi Birol and the anguish he'd caused them to invade his discussion. Lee took a moment and walked around to the other side of the picnic table, sat down, across from his two stepsons. He had their rapt attention.
"I need to change my focus. Your mother and I both love each other, but we need to work on our relationship without work distracting us. I think the best way to do it is to get out of town for a while - together."
"Where are you and Mom going?" Phillip asked.
"How long are you going?" Jamie questioned.
"It depends. I'd like to take off for about a month. We can get the time from work without a problem and your summer vacation starts next week."
"You want us to come with you?" Jamie asked with a surprised look on his face.
"Yeah, we're a family, right?" Lee answered, trying to sound more confident than he felt at the moment. Knowing that Amanda would never agree to go away for more than a week, two at the most without the boys, he'd have to convince them to want to come. "But that means if you win that playoff game tomorrow night, you might not be able to continue to play if you win Regionals and State."
"And All-Stars," Phillip added.
"Yeah, that too."
"Where do you want to go?" Jamie asked.
"Alaska."
Phillip's mouth flew open wide for a moment. "Alaska? What are we going to do up there? It's all snow and icebergs and stuff…"
"No it's not, you dummy. Alaska is warm in the summer. The sun shines 24 hours a day."
"No way," Phillip argued.
"Jamie's right. The farther north you go, the longer the day is during the summer. There's plenty to see and do. There's even a rain forest in Alaska."
"Really?" Phillip asked with surprise.
"I have a friend who has fishing cabin up there. He'll be using it in July, but it's available until then. We could do a little fishing, kayaking and some hiking. Well, are you two interested?" Lee asked.
"I could bring my camera," Jamie said with excitement.
"This would help you and Mom?" Phillip asked before spooning ice cream into his mouth.
Lee nodded. He needed to get out of DC and away from the stress of the Agency. He and Amanda needed time together to work things through, to figure out a path for their future – whether that would involve the Agency or not, Lee wasn't entirely certain. "It would help me a lot to get out of town and relax for a while."
"But mom's not going to want to go fishing and hiking for a month," Phillip replied, still not totally sold on the idea.
"You know she won't go without us for that long either," Jamie reminded his older brother. "And I don't want to spend a month with dad."
"There will be sightseeing that we can do that your mother will enjoy and I thought to end the trip, we could take a cruise on the Inside Passage."
"The inside passage of what?" Phillip asked.
"Do you ever study?" Jamie snickered, rolling his eyes at his older brother. "It's a series of passages between Alaska, Canada and the coast islands. The cruise ships use the route because they can avoid the bad weather of the open ocean. There are lots of tiny islands and fishing communities, not to mention pods of whales that migrate up to Alaska through there in the summer."
"I'm impressed," Lee said with a relieved smile.
"We studied 'Seward's Folly' in school this year," Jamie explained as he slurped on his milkshake. "I did a report on it and saw a bunch of pictures. I didn't think I'd ever get to go there!"
"Then I can count on your vote?" Lee asked hopefully.
"You bet. I'm sorry I jumped down your throat earlier. I just thought…"
"Hey, it's OK. I've been really tense the last week and I should have talked to you both sooner instead of taking off like a coward."
"You're not a coward, Lee," Phillip countered. "Mom said she would have never made it through the last case without you."
"Your mom is a remarkable woman," Lee smiled, relived at how the discussion with his stepsons had turned out. "What about you, Phillip, are you willing to forego baseball for a trip to Alaska?"
"I guess it could be fun."
Lee grinned. "Now, if I can convince your mother."
"You haven't asked her yet?" Phillip gasped.
Lee shook his head. "No. If I couldn't convince you two to go, I knew she'd never agree to it."
"I don't know if Mom will go for it," Phillip mumbled as he enjoyed his sundae.
"Just don't mention it to her until I talk to her about it, promise?"
The boys glanced at each other, then nodded their consent.
"Hurry up and finish your sundae and your milkshake; then we can hit the road," Lee suggested as he finished his ice cream as well.
"I can't believe you took the boys out for ice cream before dinner," Amanda ranted as she cleaned the dishes. "They barely ate anything."
"I wanted to talk to them on neutral ground," he answered, kicking himself silently for such a foolish idea. He knew his wife was angry with him; she'd already scrubbed the same plate three times. "I didn't expect Phillip to order a Colossal Carl Sundae or Jamie to want the King Carl Shake."
"We could have gone out after dinner as a family," she reminded him with a raised eyebrow, finally rinsing off the dish and thrusting it at him forcefully. "What was so important it couldn't wait?"
"I owed the boys an explanation for leaving."
"I think we should have talked to them together!"
"No, it was something I needed to do, you know, man to man." The look on her face was not one of understanding. Putting the dish on the counter, he reached for his wife's hand. "Come on. Let's talk."
"I'm not done with the dishes yet," she argued as Lee stuffed the towel into her hands for her to dry them.
"Phillip, Jamie, come in here!" he shouted.
"What's up, Lee?" Phillip asked when he poked his head into the kitchen. Jamie was right behind him.
"Do us a favor and finish the dishes. There's only a couple left. Your mom and I are going to take a walk."
"Yeah, sure," Phillip answered with little enthusiasm.
Lee pushed his wife out the back door before she could argue. Reaching for her hand, he grasped it firmly in his and starting leading her towards the front yard and down the street.
The cool night air was refreshing and Lee felt more relaxed as he walked down the street with his wife's hand comfortably in his. His arm reached around her back and pulled her closer to him. She glanced up and smiled at him.
"I'm sorry about dinner," he whispered quietly as they turned the corner.
She leaned her head into his shoulder. "Yeah, I know."
"I needed to explain things to the Phillip and Jamie. It's a good thing I did. Jamie thought we were getting a divorce."
"To be honest, I wasn't sure we weren't headed down that path before this afternoon's discussion either," she admitted. "You and I were barely talking to each other… and then you disappeared. Mother knew that you weren't 'on assignment' and I'm pretty sure the boys did as well."
Slowing his pace, he remarked. "I really messed things up, Amanda, and I know it. I want to make it up to you and the boys."
They walked in silence for a while before she answered. "Sweetheart, the most important thing right now is that you and I keep our lines of communication open. If we do, we'll find our way back to each other. We can't let work or anything else get in the way of our marriage."
"I agree and I think the best way for us to do it is to take a little time and get away from here."
"Lee, we just got back on Friday night," she reminded him.
"I mean a real vacation, time away from the Agency, DC and the rat race. What if we packed up and left town for a few weeks? Spend time together without the Agency breathing down our necks to get back to work or back into the field."
"I think you're trying to avoid Pfaff again."
"No. I'm not talking about leaving tomorrow, but in a week, maybe two. That gives me plenty of time to sit on Pfaff's couch."
Shaking her head, she was still not convinced. "I still think you're running away from your problems."
"I'm trying to cope with them. If I was running away, I would have stayed in Vegas," he responded brusquely.
Her response was equally as abrupt. "I don't think the timing is right to leave the boys. Maybe later in the summer…"
They continued down to the park where the boys usually play basketball. He led her over to a bench and sat down beside her. In a calm voice, he continued their conversation. "Amanda, I'm not talking about leaving the boys home. I want them to come. I'd like to take a family vacation."
"You'd never get Phillip to agree to skip baseball. He'll probably make 'All Stars' again, and their team is still playing. Who knows, if they win tomorrow night, they could take the district and even regionals."
Sitting back on the bench in silence, he felt hurt by her tone and negativity; he wasn't sure he wanted to tell her the boys had already agreed to the idea. He wanted her to want to go. Mulling it around in his head, he finally decided to try another angle. "Wouldn't you like time off to…unwind, forget about national security and 'need to know' for a short while and spend a little time with me and the boys?"
"Of course, I would," she said. "But…"
"But what?" he snapped in frustration.
"With the boys underfoot all day long, you'd be itching to get back to work in three days' time. You've never been on a family vacation with two teenagers, Lee. They can be very trying."
"What if I said I really need to get away?" he asked, turning towards her, his eyes pleading, his face worn and tired. "Amanda, the last couple weeks have been the most difficult in my life."
"I know that," she replied in a reassuring tone.
"You remember when I first moved into the house and I felt out of place?" he asked. She nodded and he continued. "I used to make up reasons to go to the Agency for a few hours to feel… secure."
She smiled and leaned her head onto his shoulder. "I remember..."
"I don't feel secure there any longer. I've lost my way and I'm not sure I belong there anymore. I need to get away; leave it all behind and sort out what I want to do. Something's changed inside me. I'm not sure I can go back to the field. I'm not sure that I want to try."
Lifting her head from his shoulder, she stared at him. "You've really given this a lot of thought."
"Yeah, I've thought about it most of the weekend. I'd like to take you and the boys up to Alaska for a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Fresh air, wide-open spaces, the mountains and the sea. There are plenty of things up there to keep them busy, hiking, fishing, whitewater rafting." From the look on her face, she was less than excited about the idea, thus, he sweetened the pot. "We could cruise the Inside Passage on the way home."
"Lee, slow down! Alaska's a beautiful place, and I'd love to take a cruise, but it's not cheap. It'll cost a fortune to fly the four of us up there, not to mention food and hotels."
He chuckled. "Amanda, remember that night at the craps table?"
"I'd like to forget it," she mumbled.
"You never did ask me how much money I won that night," he reminded her.
She shrugged. "I was afraid to ask how much you had already lost."
"I won nine thousand, four hundred and fifty dollars," he answered.
"Oh my gosh! You're kidding me, right?" she asked as she stared at him.
Shaking his head he said, "Nope. I would have probably blown it all if you hadn't shown up when you did. I was playing like a fool with nothing to lose."
"Nine thousand…"
"Four hundred and fifty dollars," he repeated as he reached into his wallet for the check and showed it to her. "I haven't had time since we got back to make a deposit at the bank."
"Wow! I'm mean, that's a lot of money."
"It's found money, Amanda. Let's do this. If you don't mind hiking and fishing with three guys for a week or two, I bet they wouldn't mind a romantic cruise to end the vacation?"
"It sounds wonderful, but the boys…"
"Have already agreed to go," he finally confessed. "That's one of the things I talked to them about this afternoon. Maybe it's time to do what's right for us? What do you say?"
"You're a sneak."
"I'm a spy," he countered.
She hesitated for a moment. Her eyes met his. They were beseeching her to agree. "The boys already agreed to go. Even on the cruise?" she asked, skeptically.
"Yup. I bet Jamie's at home right now polishing his zoom lens on his camera."
A smile crossed her face and she nodded. "Yes, let's go to Alaska!"
Glancing at her face, he could see the sparkle in her eyes that had been missing since the kidnapping. He could barely contain his own excitement. Reaching out for her, he pulled her to him and hugged her until she gasped for air. "I promise you'll have a great time."
"I know I will. I'll be with the three most important men in my life," she replied and planted a kiss on his lips.
They both glanced to the west and noticed that the sun was beginning to dip behind the horizon. Standing up, he reached his hand down for his wife's and helped her to her feet. "I guess we better go home and tell the boys the good news."
End Part Eight
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Flashback: Part Nine
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A few weeks later…
Lee Stetson glanced around at the panoramic view. No matter which direction he gazed, he saw wide-open splendor. The scenery was breathtaking with the snow-capped mountains of the Alaskan Range off in the distance and the surrounding countryside sporting lush forests, with more shades of green than he thought possible.
They'd been at the cabin in South Central Alaska for over a week now. Wearing hip-waders, he and Phillip were fishing in the cold, aquamarine waters that ambled past the cabin. Jamie had decided to forego another morning of fishing, instead, he was designated their official photographer. Amanda had passed on fishing as well and drove into town to do shopping and buy provisions for their last night in the cabin.
"I've got another one!" Phillip shouted with youthful exuberance as his fishing pole bent over and he began reeling in the fish. Once it was out of the water, he removed the hook from its mouth. Jamie focused his camera lens and took a picture of his brother, grinning from ear to ear as he held the fish proudly before they released it back into the water.
Lee high-fived his stepson. "That was an impressive fish."
"That was a northern pike, wasn't it?" Phillip asked.
"Sure was and I'd wager to say it was the biggest one yet!"
"Too bad we couldn't keep it," Phillip remarked.
"I think if we brought another fish up to the cabin for your mom to clean, she'd skin us alive," Lee reminded him.
"Yeah, I'm kind of tired of eating fish for lunch and dinner," Jamie agreed.
"I think your mom needed a break, too," Lee reminded his stepsons. He remembered his wife's warning before she went into town, that if they brought another fish up to the cabin for her to clean and cook, she'd be driving back to Anchorage and checking into a hotel.
"Maybe next time we come up, we can visit towards the end of July when the Sockeye Salmon season is open," Phillip asked. "I'd sure like to catch one of them!"
Lee chuckled. It was hard to believe this was the same kid he had to coax a couple weeks ago just to accompany them to Alaska. In the last two weeks of hiking, kayaking and fishing, he and Amanda had been having a hard time to get either of them in bed long enough to rest. Of course, since the sun rose shortly after four in the morning and didn't set until after ten at night, it was easy to understand.
"I think next time, we should go halibut fishing," Jamie chimed in as he focused his zoom lens on a bird flying overhead. Following the bird with his camera, he shouted to his stepfather with excitement. "Hey, Lee, it's a bald eagle!"
Squinting in the direction that Jamie was pointing, Lee observed the distinctive white head and tail of a bald eagle flying against the cobalt blue sky. "Pretty close, too."
The bird flew lower and nearer until it landed at the top of a pine tree down the river. "I'm going to see how close I can get to it and see if I can get a decent picture of it."
"Don't go too far," Lee warned and he watched his youngest stepson stroll down the riverbank after his quarry and out of his line of sight. Soon, his attention returned to the tugging on his line.
"Looks like you got another one," Phillip cheered as he watched him reel in his line.
Just before Lee could get the fish out of the water, the fish splashed in the water, threw the hook and swam free.
"Damn," Lee swore, then he glanced up at Phillip, hoping he hadn't heard him. From the gleeful look on Phillip's face, he knew he had.
"You gotta be quicker than that," Phillip teased.
"The day's not over yet. I'll get him," Lee promised and cast his line back into the water.
"Have you ever tried fly fishing?" his stepson asked curiously.
Lee nodded, thinking back to his days with his uncle in the military. "Yeah, when I was about your age, a friend's father took me fly fishing one day. It's not as easy as it looks."
"You think you could teach me how to do it?" he asked.
"How about we take lessons together, huh?" Lee answered, not certain he remembered enough to teach him. "I'm sure it would be a lot of fun."
"Cool." Moments later, another fish hit Phillip's line, peeling the line out of the reel.
Lee watched as Phillip's face lit up again as he struggled to land yet another fish. Walking backwards towards the bank he almost had the fish out of the water when it got off the line and swam off. "I think that was my fish," Lee ribbed his disappointed stepson.
"It looked like a rainbow trout, but it wasn't as big as the last one I caught," Phillip defended.
"Good thing I went out for supplies," Amanda teased her son as she walked down to the water and tussled his hair. "How's the fishing been?"
"I caught a Northern Pike a little while ago, Mom. You should have seen it. The thing was monster sized, but we released it," Phillip boasted excitedly. "Jamie got a picture of it."
Lee walked out of the water and put down his fishing pole on the bank. Kissing his wife, he asked. "Back so soon? I thought you might be gone all day."
"No, it's a pretty small town. I bought groceries and I found a lovely little craft store. They had the nicest things. I picked up a hand weaved blanket for Mother."
Wondering what else she bought he chuckled. "I thought you were going window shopping. You're not going to have room in your suitcase."
"Don't worry; I can always ship it home. Is anyone hungry? I made sandwiches on fresh sourdough bread and picked up a blueberry cobbler for dessert."
"I'm hungry now," Phillip cheered as he rubbed his stomach.
"Where's Jamie?" she asked, glancing both up and down the riverbank and noticing her younger son was nowhere to be seen.
Lee nodded down river. "He saw an eagle land in a tree. He went down to see if he could get a good angle on it.''
"Jamie, lunch!" Amanda called out to her son, but there was no answer.
"I'll go look for him," Phillip volunteered as he sat down on the riverbank and took off his hip waders.
"I'll take the fishing gear back up to the cabin. We can do some more fishing this afternoon if you want."
"Don't dawdle," Amanda warned, helping Lee pick up the fishing gear. They ambled up the path, through the woods, back to the cabin.
Putting the gear into the storage cache, Lee followed his wife inside and cleaned himself up, in the small, but functional kitchen. Glancing at the sandwiches and pie that were waiting on the table, he grinned. "Looks delicious. What did you get for dinner?"
"The butcher suggested moose stew. They had fresh vegetables and I thought I'd try making it," she answered enthusiastically. Then her voice turned lower. "Just don't tell the boys what kind of meat it is until after dinner."
"Good idea!" he nodded in agreement as he wrapped his arms around his wife and nuzzled against her.
She sniffed him and pushed his away. "You smell like fish. You need a shower."
"Want to join me? We are alone," he grinned playfully, looking out the window and not seeing either of the boys coming up the path.
"I'd love to, but there's barely enough room in that shower for one and the boys will be back any minute."
"I'm glad we have separate accommodations on the cruise ship."
"Yeah, why is that?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes.
Wrapping his arms around her again and tilting his head down, he answered with a tantalizing kiss. His hands started to explore her body; he could feel her react to his touch and relax in his arms. It felt good to hold her. With each day, they seemed to be getting closer, their relationship stronger and the memories of Birol fading into their past. Then the cabin door opened.
Quickly, they broke apart from their intimate embrace. "Where's your brother?" Amanda asked, trying to glance past Phillip who stood in the doorway.
"I didn't see him. I thought we might have crossed paths," he answered as he looked around the small cabin.
"No, he hasn't come back yet," Amanda answered uneasily.
"How far down the river did you go?" Lee asked, annoyed by the untimely intrusion.
"Down past the curve. I didn't see him anywhere. I kept shouting his name, but he didn't answer.
"Oh my gosh!" Amanda's face paled. She went to the window and scanned the yard, but there wasn't a soul outside.
"Relax, sweetheart, he's probably really absorbed in trying to get the perfect shot of the eagle, that he hasn't realized how far he's wandered." Lee answered both calmly and rationally.
"Maybe he fell in the river, it's pretty cold and…," Phillip suggested.
Lee shot him a look that silenced his older stepson immediately. "Amanda, I'm sure that's not the case. Besides, the water's not that deep and it hasn't rained for a while so it's moving slowly."
"What if he's been… kidnapped? Lee, what if Birol wasn't acting alone?" Amanda choked out with tears brimming in her eyes, her voice foreboding. "What if Karbala…"
"Amanda, stop!" Lee insisted firmly, but he could see her dark eyes glazing over with fear and so did Phillip. Not only did she look terrified, but now Phillip appeared skittish. Suddenly, the relaxed wife he was kissing moments ago had been replaced by a frightened victim of Addi Birol.
"I'll go back out and look for him," Phillip offered.
"No!" Amanda shouted in despair. "I don't want them to get you, too."
"Amanda!" Lee shouted, but it was too late; she was zoning out...
.
"Do you miss your children, Amanda?" Birol asked when he entered the room.
Bound and gagged, she was unable to answer. All she could do was nod.
"With all this rain, your sons won't have a baseball game, will they? They're probably home tonight, aren't they?" Birol taunted.
Her eyes flashed with terror. Tears ran down her face.
"Perhaps you'd like a little company… which one would you like to visit? Your eldest, perhaps… No," he grinned devilishly. "You want your baby, don't you?"
Amanda was shouting into her gag. "Noooo!"
Laughing maniacally, he turned out the light and left her alone, slamming the door as he exited...
.
.
"AMANDA!" Lee shouted as he started to shake her body, trying to snap her out of the flashback.
"He's got him, Lee," she choked out.
"No, he doesn't; Birol's dead," he whispered harshly. "Jamie's just wandered off."
"Karbala…"
"No. Now take a few deep breaths and get a hold of yourself." Reaching for her face with his hand, he lifted her head towards his and made eye contact with her. Stroking her face gently, he wiped away a stray tear. "Calm down; he's fine. Trust me?"
"Lee…"
"Trust me," he repeated in a comforting voice, staring at her, willing her to relax. He led her to the kitchen table and sat her down. "You and Phillip eat your lunch. I'm sure I'll be back with Jamie before you finish."
"My son is missing and you want me to eat?" Amanda protested incredulously.
"I'm not that hungry anyway," Phillip replied nervously, apparently picking up his mother's vibes.
Realizing it was hopeless, he relented. "Fine. We'll all eat together when we get back."
Standing up and reaching for the car keys, she went to the door. "I'll take Phillip and we'll drive back into town and notify the police."
Attempting to reason with her in this state would be hard, but Lee knew he had to try. He didn't want to ruin the entire vacation over a minor incident. Hurrying for the door, he warned. "Amanda, if you do that, Jamie will be mortified when he walks back to the cabin and finds a dozen people looking for him. I'll find him."
Appearing less than convinced, she conceded. "I'll give you a half hour to find him, Lee. If you're not back by then, I'm going to the police. Please be careful out there. It could be Karbala."
Giving her a reassuring hug, he whispered quietly making sure Phillip wouldn't overhear him. "It's not Karbala."
"You don't know that."
"Amanda, he wandered off. That's all. Please don't get yourself all worked up over this. Take a couple deep breaths and focus," he insisted, holding her until she obliged him, but he could feel her body tremble.
"Take your weapon," she whispered in a strained voice.
"You're overreacting," he warned, but knowing how much she hated guns made him realized how frightened she was. Not wanting to argue with her, especially with Phillip looking confused, he acquiesced to her request. Rummaging through his bag in the other room, he grabbed his compass and gun, mindful not to let Phillip see the latter. "I'll be back soon."
"Be careful, Lee, I love you."
"I love you too," he answered, before heading out the door.
End Part Nine
The story is posted in full on my website. Google search IFF FILM LIBRARY.
