Chanyeol:
Baekhyun and I had a newer schedule now. We faithfully attended voice lessons, which were going fantastically now that we had proven ourselves to Mr. Kim. He had us doing advanced warm-ups and practicing harder things, exploring our vocal ranges..
Although he had a healthy amount of constructive criticism, he had begun to see us as the experienced boy band members that we were. It felt great to finally be pushing myself past the bounds that I had mentally set for myself so long ago.
Then, for five other nights a week, Baekhyun and I spent our time at my apartment writing and composing our own music.
The lyrics we came up with were scratchy and amateur, and that's being generous. I was waiting until the most opportune time to reveal Baekhyun's song. I contemplated this, as my hands, shoved in my pockets, flipped the flash drive over and over between my fingers.
I had no idea how to do it. Should I gently pretend to come up with the words on the spot, or should I come to him one day and exclaim that I had stayed up all of a single night after one of our studio sessions and claim to have caught an inspiration and wrote an amazing song for us to play as a duet?
It wasn't a total lie, it did take me a few go-rounds to turn Baekhyun's song into a duet. I didn't want him to know the truth, that I wrote this song in one sit-down weeks ago and that HE was the inspiration for the ballad.
Truly, the song could have been about anything and anyone, but Baekhyun isn't stupid. He might see right through it for what it really is, because that stagehand was right. When I was playing an instrument, I had a tendency to get lost in the music. And in this particular case, with this particular song, I was going to become a lump of useless putty in Bae's hands.
'What to do? What to do?!' I wondered to myself round and round in circles.
"Chanyeol? Earth to Chanyeol! Come in Chanyeol!" Baekhyun waved a hand in front of my face, teasing me. He giggled, and I apologized for zoning out.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked me, gently and with a serious look on his face.
'You.' I thought to myself.
"Well, I was just thinking we have some really good beats and quite an assortment, but the lyrics are still evading us!"
"I'm not sure what to do next…" he trailed off. "But you've done this before! How did you write them before? You know, before you started throwing them away?"
"Um…" what do I say here without revealing too much and straight up telling Baekhyun that I was able to do it in the past because I had a muse: Him.
But now? No! I can't admit that… Can I?
I silently contemplate for a few minutes. Baekhyun gives me the time to think and sits back to look at me as my mind works.
It's now that I decided to reveal my secret lyrics. I wasn't sure when, and I wasn't sure how, but I was just going to grab the bull by the horns. To rip off the Band-Aid, if you will.
I have to! We only have a few more weeks until we are back out on the road, this time on a media tour. We're to appear on television programs all throughout Korea. Then, after another very short break, we'll be back out on the road for part two of our tour.
This had to happen now! 'Tomorrow,' I decide. 'I'll present this to him tomorrow, no excuses!'
"Don't worry Bae, inspiration will strike, trust me!" I say in a hushed voice.
"Well look at who's all optimistic all of a sudden! The same man that's been destroying perfectly good music for the past… God only knows how long!" He gives me his most radiant smile.
I smile back at him. Trying not to let my composure slip. "It's getting late," I look at my watch and I'm surprised to see that it's already past midnight. "Let me take you home, and if I can't fall asleep later, I'll keep brainstorming, yes?"
"Sure." He smiles back, standing and grabbing a leather messenger bag that he keeps all of his ideas in, and, nowadays, takes everywhere with him, "I'll do the same… but I hope you'll forgive me for being too exhausted and not even making it all the way to my room before I collapse to sleep." He giggles, taking his drink and downing the last few sips. He jumps to his feet and walks the slightest bit off to the front elevator, pulling on our shoes while we wait for it to show up.
"Are you sure you don't want a bottle of water? It's not like you to drink this much." I gently suggest.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes at me, "What are you? My mother?! I'm a grown man, I can handle a few beers." He chuckles, shaking his head.
"Alrighty, if you say so Mr. Grown Up!" I tease.
He giggles and sticks his tongue out at me as the elevator arrives at my floor.
